Avatar Fan Fiction

Confusion and Closure

By Kraven Ergeist

It was a subject he had precariously avoided these past few weeks after the failed invasion of the Fire Nation. When he kissed her, he hadn't really thought about having to give an explanation until after he defeated the Firelord. It was either that, or he would lose to the Firelord, and he didn't want to go out without at least expressing his feelings for Katara.

But Aang hadn't counted on option three – losing to the Firelord, and living to tell about it.

For a while, living with his failure had been the only thing on his mind. He couldn't even look Katara in the eye for the first few days, not because he knew he had to explain that kiss, but for shame at having let her down at the Eclipse. Then, after Zuko arrived, he'd started off down the path of Fire Bending, and he had begun to reclaim the direction of his destiny.

Which, of course, meant facing Katara.

"Katara…" he said uneasily, wishing the cool night air would do a better job of distracting him from his problem. "Did you really mean what you said in there?"

"In where?" Katara asked, obviously confused. She hadn't said anything to her recollection. "What are you talking about?"

Aang crossed his arms and gritted his teeth. Could she honestly not see the reason for his frustration and anger?

"On stage," he huffed, bitterly. "When you said I was just a like a…" he had to squeeze the word past his lips, the idea made him so ill. "…Brother to you…" he turned to meet her gaze, placing his hand on his chest. "And you didn't have feelings for me."

Katara looked concerned, but not, Aang noticed, at all touched. "I didn't say that. An actress said that."

Aang turned away and closed his eyes. Way to dodge the question, Katara. But he didn't say that. Instead, he stared at the floor. "But it's true, isn't it?"

He recalled the moment before he had kissed her, how much was going through his head. How conflicted he was, how worried, how the possible outcomes tossed around in his mind, how many ways he could screw up. And Katara…he wanted her to know how he felt. So he'd decided to kiss first, and ask questions later.

Well, it was later. Much later.

"We kissed at the invasion…" he said, as though she needed reminding. "And I thought we were gonna be together…"

His eyes turned to meet hers. Why was her expression so hard to read?

"But we're not…"

Only then, Katara turned away, clearly concerned and conflicted. He knew he was putting a lot of pressure on her by doing this, but he had put this off long enough! And this stupid play was messing with his head. His reality was shaky enough as it was without seeing someone else's interpretation. He needed to know. He needed some kind of confirmation that something he had been holding onto was still there.

"Aang…" Katara muttered, uneasily. "I don't know…"

"Why don't you know?" Aang pleaded. He knew it was childish, but he didn't care. He wanted a straight answer.

Katara gave him a condescending look. "Because we're in the middle of a war." She turned her eyes upward. "And we have other things to worry about." Her eyes closed. "This isn't the right time."

Aang felt cheated. "Well…when is the right time!?"

Katara paused for a moment, before tugging on one of her pigtails nervously. "Aang…I'm sorry, but…right now, I'm a little confused…"

This struck Aang as ridiculous. What was there to be confused about? Hadn't they spent the past year together, training and traveling, fighting and fleeing, growing and learning together? For Aang, the choice had been obvious.

An idea came to him – maybe he could help her make a decision.

He kissed her.

For the briefest moment, Katara did nothing, before pulling back suddenly, unwilling to be swayed.

"I just said I was confused!" Katara protested angrily, touching her lips as though they'd been burned.

Aang felt torn apart. He was only making the situation worse this way.

Katara shook her head and looked away, and it was clear to Aang that she wasn't going to be giving him an answer anytime soon.

"I'm going inside…"

In a split second, Aang made his decision, and Katara felt him seize her hand.

"Wait…Katara…please…"

Katara turned a fierce eye back at him. "Stop it, Aang! You're not helping."

Aang looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Please, just hear me out…" he said, desperately. "There's something I want you to know…"

Katara turned her head, but her hand was still locked in his.

"Aang…" she said, gravely. "Don't say something you might regret…"

Aang shook his head. He wouldn't be overlooked like this. He was going to be heard.

"You may be confused…" he said, sympathetically. "But I'm not. Not about the way I feel, at least. This isn't even a decision for me."

He felt her hand loosen in his, and her shoulders tightened.

"You were the first person I laid eyes on after a hundred years…" Aang went on. "You've never given up on me, and you've always been there to show me the way. You mean more to me than anything, Katara…"

His hand tightened around hers. And he felt the tears come.

"You're…irreplaceable to me…"

Katara stiffened at the revelation. She tugged her hand away, and this time, Aang let her go. She hurried off back into the theatre. Her eyes were closed.

Aang felt worn and drained. He'd revealed his hand, and now he had nothing left. Everything was up to her now.

"Ugh…" he pounded his head. "I'm such an idiot!"

xxxxx

"That…" Zuko said, decidedly. "Wasn't a good play."

"I'll say," Aang agreed.

"No kidding," Katara added.

"Horrible," Suki commented.

"You said it," Toph put in.

"But the effects were decent," Sokka said, opting to play devil's advocate.

Nobody decided to refute him.

"What if…" Aang asked. "What if the ending comes true? What if the Firelord wins in the end?"

Katara moved to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but hesitated. She couldn't display any kind of affection to him, not after what he'd said.

It was Zuko who spoke first.

"Trust me, Aang, if there's one thing you can count on in Fire Nation plays nowadays, it's their willingness to conform to propaganda. Ever since Firelord Sozen's day, people in this country weren't allowed to say a single bad thing about the Fire Nation, and especially the Firelord. So of course, a Fire Nation play about the Avatar versus the Firelord is going to end with the Firelord winning. They were just catering to Fire Nation dignitaries who can't get enough about how great the Fire Nation is. But they're just actors and playwrights. They don't know how the war is going to end and more then the rest of us do."

Sokka nodded. "Actually, I'd say we know more than they do, since we'll actually have a hand in how it happens."

Toph elbowed Aang playfully. "Besides, if they think we're all like our characters in the play, then how much credit can we give them anyway?"

Aang looked at Toph. "I thought you said the characters were accurate portrayals."

Toph smirked. "Some parts were. But I think I prefer the real thing."

Suki patted Sokka on the back. "Yeah, if they knew the real people behind their characters, they'd think twice about that last scene."

Sokka nodded. "Definitely."

Aang still felt uneasy. About a lot of things. The comet. Katara. Everything was boiling down, and he didn't know where things were going to end up. All he could do was try his hardest and hope for the best.

But all his friends were with him. And they would stick with him. That would be enough for now.

xxxxx

A/N: Just a little addendum to Ember Island Players. Hope you like it.

Now that I've done a one-shot fic for Maiko and Kataang, I might as well do one for Suka. Stand by.