The August heat pressed down like a tangible force, blanketing the landscape in dry, blinding sunlight. The sky held no clouds to promise shade, and even birds took shelter on the boughs of withering pines. Cracked dirt roads shimmered with waves that lingered on the horizon until dusk. While there was still summer in Evergreen, Louisiana, there was heat.
I tried to stay optimistic, but the weather beat the smile out of me. It was hard to appreciate the lack of seasons, the size of the small town, even the town name. Evergreen was not green. It was a horrible beige color. There was no escaping it. Even the strays blended into bland scenery.
Townies here were old-fashioned in their way of living. They used clotheslines and wash buckets. To give someone a message, you walked right up to their porch and rang the doorbell, as if phones didn't exist. Cars were rare unless confused travelers drove through.
I was walking towards her house, sweat dripping down my temples. I wiped my forehead with my sleeve.
I loved my Grandfather, and never regretted a single say since he adopted me. Still, this town was not enough for me anymore.
I clutched the letter in my hand, worn at the creases from folding an unfolding, thoughts pulsing dully through my brain. My temper was rising, and I crunched the paper tightly, questioning everything I knew about my life.
Suddenly, she came into view, standing in front of a shiny black car. It was so out of place that I winced as the sun gleamed off the surface of the tinted windows. Bags were being loaded into the trunk by a strange man. Her parents were standing off to the side, solemn. Impulse surged through me, and I jumped.
"YOU BIG, STUPID, MORON!" I screamed, my foot about to crash right into her head. Was it possible to hate and love someone as much as I did in that moment?
Before I hit her, there was a flash of white. I felt an unpleasant smack, and was flying in the opposite direction, coming down with a heavy thud in front of her. I should have known better, but there had been nothing to do with my rage. The tears came, but not from the pain of my fall.
Hotaru was leaving me.
Then I saw what she was holding.
"Is that a flyswatter? Did you just hit me with a flyswatter? Is this how you say goodbye?" My voice cracked and it was enough to completely break the dam that was holding me together.
"Hotaru! What is this? I get a letter from your stupid tortoise mail telling me you're leaving today to go to an elite boarding school… haven't I told you not to send important messages with such a slow contraption!?" My tears fell, but she looked down at me with no remorse. Her raven hair was so black it looked purple in the sun, cut to her ears—she looked cool in the heat, as guarded as ever. Her amethyst eyes glinted like raw stone, polished and unyielding. They turned my insides to ice.
"If I had told you, you would have made a fuss about it," she said in a monotone.
"But we were supposed to stay in the same school together! We were supposed to be friends forever! Don't just leave me like this!" I yelled. The tears wouldn't stop. I could barely look at her. I knew Hotaru didn't convey emotion well, but I never dreamed this could happen. My heart was breaking.
My Grandfather always told me I needed to be strong for the ones I loved, even if the world was cruel to me. But what could I do if Hotaru was the one who wanted to leave me behind?
"You look ugly when you cry, Mikan. There will be letters and summer visits. Stop making such a scene."
She bent down to wipe away my tears, and then stretched my face into a smile. It hurt, but I tried to smile, for her. Maybe that's what it meant to be strong. To be happy for someone even though your insides were twisted with pain. I loved Hotaru, and nothing could replace my best friend. Other than Grandfather, she was the most important person to me.
"Goodbye Mikan," she said, and her parents gave her hugs and kisses before sending her off. It was an honor for someone from this tiny place to get accepted into such a prestigious school. Was I the only one sad she was gone? Her parents were waving, crying tears of joy.
I was completely paralyzed.