Title: The God and the Girl
Summary: Rose is alone, on the parallel universe, but that doesn't mean there's never anyone to talk to. Doctor/Rose, set post Doomsday.
A/N: Very different to anything I've written before in style, so my apologies if it seems a little.. bizarre. It is essentially a monologue, with Rose conversing with someone she's met on the parallel world.
Do you look up at the sky every night, trying to see the stars? I know I do. Even when I know it's too cloudy to see anything, I open my window and take deep breaths of the crisp air, and have a look around. The world looks different at night, doesn't it? So magical, so... fantastic. Dreams can come true, right? Nothing makes you believe in that more than a breathtaking look at the depth of the universe.
Have you ever been up there? Oh, I bet you haven't. Not many people have. Hardly any, in fact, these days. Not yet. They will, though. Loads of people will, some day. Be living up there, they will. Don't give me that look; I'm not mad. I don't reckon I am, anyway. You might as well wait to hear what I've got to say next before you call me crazy.
I've been up there, into space. Oh yeah, I see it already, you think I'm no astronaut, I must've lost it. Well, I haven't. I've soared through the black blanket up there, ducking around planets and coming so close to stars that I felt I could almost reach out and touch them. I've seen the Earth just a speck in the galaxy, spiralling out in a majestic world of constellations. I've seen the birth and death of stars and suns, I've seen the creation of life and I've seen civilisations sucked into black holes. I've seen it all, I have.
Do you believe me? I hope you do. Not many people would. I guess I sound a bit insane, even to my own ears. But that's all I've got to hold on to - the memories, the ramblings of a woman who's been stuck here too long. And you haven't even heard the best of it, yet.
You think travelling into space would be incredible; the best adventure ever? Try taking a trip through time as well.
'Cos that's what I've done! Charles Dickens, Queen Victoria, William Shakespeare - met 'em all, I have. It's never safe, and sometimes it's not the best of fun. (You won't understand until you've been about an inch away from getting speared by a karate-monk. Trust me on that one.) But there was always him, and then it never seemed dangerous at all.
So, there's the past. But then you need a bit more imagination; to look into the future. And boy, what a sight! I've been to the year five billion, I've seen the Earth burn and die... I've seen the greatest and most terrible things you could possibly imagine, and then some.
It's a nice evening, isn't it? Should be a clear night, tonight. I hope you're staying. I know the name of every constellation, and just where to find them. I'd love to show you. I taught them to myself, in the time since I've been here. I love to look up at the stars; because they remind me of him. As well they should.
What's that? What am I doing here? Well, isn't that the question. Yes, indeed. I often wonder that myself. And I've got to admit, I don't have a clue. I don't belong here - never have, never will. This isn't my home. Well, this bench definitely isn't, nor this park, but you know what I mean. This... this world, really.
It's sort of hard to explain; I don't know if you'd understand. Okay, okay, enough of the evils already. But honestly... I don't think even I get it, really.
You're probably going to call the coppers in a minute, and I can't say I blame you. Oh, I'll be gone by then, of course, always am. Learnt from the best, you see. Oh, the very best. None better. Not compared to him. No one could be.
I suppose I might as well tell you the full story. It won't mean much to you, but I've never really told anyone. Everyone I've ever wanted to know already does and, quite frankly, I don't have a clue who you are. Maybe that's why it'd be okay to tell you.
There was this man, though he wasn't even a man at all, really. His name? His name was the Doctor. I know, it's a strange name, but I never knew him by any other. Just, the Doctor. I suppose it's weird, that I never asked him what his name really was. I think I always hoped he'd just tell me - but he never did. He never did.
He was the one who took me out there, who showed me that there was so much more than I could ever have imagined. I used to work in a shop. Can you believe that? Manning the tills, arranging the clothes, whatever. I thought I was doing alright. I had a boyfriend, and I loved him... I think. I was never too badly off for money, and I had... my mum. Jackie.
But then the Doctor showed up, and blew up my job. He told me to run, and that's what we were doing every day afterwards. Running. Into trouble, then out of it again. We almost died, so many times, but we always got out - just. Nearly every time, anyway - he died, once. But I won't go into that.
And we were happy. So happy. The best of friends... But I loved him. I loved him so much... Didn't tell him, though. He was an alien, for god's sake; he was nine hundred years old! I couldn't tell him. There must have been so many others, he must have loved so many people in all those centuries. What was I, up against that?
But, I dunno, I just sort of assumed I'd be travelling with him forever, really. In a time machine, it's not hard to make yourself think that, to believe that you've genuinely got forever. But nothing lasts forever, because the darkness always comes first.
There were these creatures. Creatures of metal, born out of the minds of lunatics. They're not much to look at, by a glance - a metal man and a giant pepper pot. You'd laugh, really, I bet you would. Only before you'd seen what they can do.
Pain, death, destruction. Those harsh, metallic cries - delete, exterminate... And the screams, my god, the screams! You wouldn't believe... They electrocute people, suffocate them, anything. There's no way of fighting them, because they're not human. They don't have weaknesses. They can't be killed.
'Cept, I'd already killed them once. One lot of them, anyway. The Daleks. I don't know how, but the Doctor told me, afterwards. He told me that I'd done it, but all I can see is this light, golden light. It's there right now, whenever I close my eyes. Can you see it? Here, if I touch you, can you feel it? The power, the raw energy, you must feel it. He tried to take it away, but I couldn't let go. Not of all of it. Not of this... And he never knew. The last secret of the Bad Wolf...
Please, don't look at me like that. No, don't go! Please! Look, the night's coming. Darkness... But the moon will be out soon, don't you see? The light after the dark. The calm after the storm. That's who he was - the storm, the god, the wanderer... And now I am, too.
Because he left me. Oh, he didn't want to, I know that. But he had to - what choice did he have? What choice do any of us have, in the end? He burnt up a super nova to say goodbye to me. And that's when I told him that I loved him. It was hard, but it was my last chance. I never would've forgiven myself if I hadn't said it.
And it would have been worth it, if he'd said it back. If the Doctor had told me that he loved me too. But he didn't. I think he was going to, yet how can I know? And now I'm never going to see him again. I can never ask. I can never know. I might be able to handle it over here, if I knew. And yet I don't. Never will.
The Bad Wolf and the Oncoming Storm. In love, I think, but torn apart. He's in one universe. I'm in another. This one. And no offence, but I hate it here, more than you could ever understand. Oh, you're more advanced than my world, so much more. But we had one thing you'll never have.
Him. And nothing in any universe could ever make up for that.
You see that, right up there? That group of stars, there? That's Ursa Major. The Great Bear. It's a constellation that tells the story of a God and his love for a girl far beneath his station; a love that couldn't be. A love that was punished by a separation. And do you know something? That is the only constellation that is shared between my universe and this.
The God and the girl. Never to meet again. But I loved him, and I think maybe he loved me. And perhaps that's enough. It'll have to be.
But enough from me. And thank you - not many people would have stayed, not many people would have listened. Come, lie back on the grass here. It's easier to see the stars that way. You tell me your story, and I'll teach you the ways of the galaxy. If there's one thing I know, it's what's out there.
Maybe, one day, you'll see it too. And maybe I'll see him. You never know.
See that group up there? The zigzag, just follow my finger. Interesting story, to that one. Want to hear it? I thought so.
Here goes - another story. There's always another. There's a love story there, too, actually, if you see that one over there as well...
Fin.