AN: Written a few month ago. After I kept rereading the Alma arc and giving myself feels. This is basically Yulmen, I think.
It's funny, really, how dying changes your perspective. Even people like us, who've died so many times that death seems like a joke. But this time, I won't regenerate. You and I both know that. It's finally run out.
I don't really deserve this. I don't deserve to rest peacefully after all I did. I can't forgive the Order. But I shouldn't have hurt all those people. Those innocent people who probably had no more power to change their situations than you and I did. I don't deserve to rest after lending my power to the Earl like that. But I guess I am getting a final peace, anyway.
It's all because of that child, isn't it? He was so reckless, getting in between our fight like that. And he saw our memories, didn't he? He knew what I did, what we did. I don't understand why he helped us. Or maybe I do. I'm not really sure, even now.
But he gave me you. That much I understand. He knew my secret, he brought me to you when I couldn't find you. He must be a kind person. If he was so willing to help me - an akuma - like that. He was willing to help you, too. He helped both of us. After we did all that to him.
That child might be gone one day. I can feel the Noah in him. It's so very strong, barely under control. But I find myself thinking I don't want him to disappear. He is precious to you, isn't he? Was he one of the people by your side when I was gone? I want to be jealous, but I can't find it in me to hate him. Not after what he did.
I told him why I never told you my secret - I wanted you to belong to me forever. I still want you to belong to me forever. But… I think I see now where I was wrong then.
I don't want you to suffer more, Yuu. I'm so sorry. I already put you through so much, all for my own selfish reasons. I thought, even if you betrayed me at that time, as long as you were bound to that promise, you'd still be mine. In that hellish place, that was all I could count on. That was all I ever wanted.
But now I see. That child helped me see. Even if you aren't bound by the promise, we will always be connected, won't we? A part of you will always belong to me. All because of that boy. He gave us these last precious moments together.
You will probably live on, Yuu. It's not your time yet. But I know you'll see me off until the end. You never broke your promises, not once. Even though… I almost did. I'm sorry, Yuu. This time, I'm going to keep my end of the promise.
I told you I'd wait. And I have, and you came back to me, just like you said you would. I'll tell you my secret as I go. I'll let you be free with what little life you have left. Maybe you'll go to the boy and return the kindness he paid us. I think you will - you don't want to be in his debt, do you?
He won't take you from me. No one will truly take you from me. He isn't that kind of person. Even when he had the chance - and he certainly had the chance back then, didn't he? - he didn't try to tear us apart. You'll always belong to me, Yuu.
I'm sorry I've done this to you. I'm so very sorry.
I love you, Yuu.
I'll see you again soon.