Authors Note:

HEY EVERYONE I'M BACK! So without further ado...here is chapter one of the sequel to "EASIER" !

Flash Forward

"Riley, look at me. Is what you want? Is this what you really want?"

I looked at him, unable to answer his question. Part of me screaming no of course not, and the other telling me that maybe this was for the best. But no part of me tried to speak.

"Okay Riley. I get it." He said, before walking out the apartment and slamming the door behind him.

Present Day:

I kept folding and unfolding my hands as we got closer and closer to my parent's apartment. It had been four years since I set foot in New York. I had just graduated from college and now I was finally returning home for the summer.

The cab pulled up to front of the apartment and I got out, thanking him. I stared at the building in front of me.

"Hey, come on you got this. Your parents are probably waiting." Evan whispered, grabbing my hand.

We walked up the stairs, and towards the front door. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Come in honey! Its open!" My dad yelled from the other side of the door. I grabbed the door knob and pushed the door open.

"SURPRISE!

My eyes scanned, taking in all the faces of my old friends, before landing on Lucas Friar, who was holding a bouquet of flowers.

Farkle obviously stunned, and unable to come up with any words to say just blew on his party horn.

Zay, pointing at Evan as he leaned on the kitchen counter simply asked, "Who's that? That over there. Who's that?"

"Riley, honey. Why don't you introduce Evan?" my mom suggested

"Um…hi everyone. I wasn't expecting a welcome home party." I was rambling. "This is um…uh Evan. My um…boyfriend."

Almost instantly, I heard something fall to the floor. The flowers Lucas once held in his hand were now on the floor and Lucas was heading towards the front door, Zay followed behind him.

"Lucas, wait. You don't have to leave." I grabbed his hand before he walked out.

"Yeah, man. It's totally cool, really. There's no problem here." Evan interjected.

Ignoring Evan, Lucas responded, "It's okay Riley. I have to get going. Early class tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Sunday…and it's the summer… and you already graduated." Zay whispered awkwardly.

Lucas turned to glare at Zay and then returned his gaze to me, "I'm sorry Riley I have to go." And with that he walked out the door.

"I'm sorry Cotton Candy Face, it was nice to see you. But I should go after him and make sure he's okay." Zay said quietly before following Lucas out the door.

I turned to face the rest of my family friends. "Oh, wow Riles, you sure know how to make an entrance." Maya giggled.

The rest of the night happened without event, but it was obvious that everyone was dancing around the subject of Lucas's abrupt departure.

As the night came to the end, I found myself eager to return to my childhood room and be alone with my thoughts.

The living room had cleared. Maya had gone home, promising to help me find a place to live tomorrow and Evan had left to his grandparent's house.

I walked into my room, letting all the memories wash over me. The last time I was here with Lucas, we were peacefully saying goodbye to each other. Now it seemed like we were back to the Senior Year of high school, just with a lot more baggage.

"It's weird being back, huh?" Farkle spoke up behind me.

"Farkle? What are you doing here? I thought everyone had gone home" I responded startled.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know it wasn't exactly the welcome home you were expecting…I wanted to tell you about the surprise party…but…well Topanga is scary." Farkle, said sheepishly

"It's okay, Farkle. Honestly, it was nice to see everyone." I chuckled

"Everyone? Even Lucas?"

"Lucas…is complicated." I struggled to find the right words

"Isn't it always with you two?" Farkle sighed. Sensing he wasn't going to receive any more, Farkle steered the conversation in another direction. "So, Evan? I didn't know he was going to come home with you."

"He's just visiting for the summer. His grandparents needed some help. He starts grad school back in California in the Fall." I replied, feeling a sense of relief. This was an easier topic to discuss.

"And what about you? Are you staying in NY or…?" Farkle pressed "I mean you're looking for an apartment to live in here in NY, right? Leases are usually for 6 or 12 months…so"

"What are you trying to get at Farkle?" I could tell he was dancing around the question he really wanted to ask but I wasn't really in the mood for deep conversation.

"So, what's going to happen to you and Evan?" Farkle blurted out. "Are you going to do the long distance thing? Are you saying you're staying here but really you're going to leave at the end of summer? Have you even decided where you're going to attend grad school? Or are you getting a job?"

"Jesus, Farkle I'm way too tired for this conversation." I responded, annoyed.

"Okay, okay. I can take a hint." Farkle said raising his hands in surrender. "Get some rest Riley"

"Thanks, Farkle. It was nice to see you again." I replied, eager to get to bed.

Before climbing out the window, Farkle turned to me, "For what it's worth Riles, I think you should stay. Complicated Lucas situation and all."

I watched Farkle climb out of the window. He was right, I hadn't actually made any decisions, I wasn't sure off anything except that the situation with Lucas was complicated. It was just complicated enough to make me pack up my stuff and jump on the first airplane back to California.

Lucas P.O.V.

We had made no promises to each other, so I didn't know why I was so upset. I felt the anger radiating through my body. But more than anything, I felt the deep hole in my heart. I hadn't felt this kind of pain since my sophomore year of college. But I couldn't let myself go there.

Instead I tried to remind myself of all the tools I learned in therapy. Even if we hadn't made any explicit promises to each other, Riley & I had this unspoken thing. No matter what, we would find our way back to each other. At least that's what I believed.

"I really enjoy sitting in silence with you. It's not weird or anything. I'm learning so much about myself." Zay spoke up.

I was honestly surprised he had managed to stay silent as long as he did.

"Zay, buddy. I really appreciate you looking after me. But I don't need a babysitter. I'm fine." I muttered.

"No, trust me. I believe you of course…but you know I also believe that you're lying." Zay responded, rolling his eyes.

I knew I had a less than stellar reputation when it came to blowing up, but Zay knew how much I had worked on changing myself and putting my life back on track after high school.

"Zay, I'm going to bed." I responded, getting up to walk towards my room.

"Yeah no problem. I'll just be out here trying to figure what's going on." Zay yelled out. "May have to call for some back-up to figure out the never-ending saga of RILEY AND LUCAS!"

I walked into my room, shaking my head at Zay's antics. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a box, pausing before opening it. Did I really want to open this box tonight? I was already so off kilter, so on edge, I didn't know what effect the contents of the box would have on me.

I shrugged, deciding to go big or go home. I walked over to my bed and sat down, slowly taking the lid of the box.

I pushed the small black box to the other side and picked up the first piece of paper, running my hand over her handwriting.

Dear Lucas.