I do NOT own the song, or the characters, just Lyka. If you want to know what she looks like, a real discription, then send me a message. I might be talked into posting a picture of her after Halloween, a friend is going to be her. ;)
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I packed my bags silently, not wanting to wake my one true love. I looked over at our… his… bed. It was his bed now, I looked around the apartment, it was all just his now.
No one would remember me, of that I was positive. I'd done my job very well. I kissed him once more, lingeringly. Then I grabbed my bag of Ever Holding, a present from him ironically, and walked out of his life leaving nothing but the shattered pieces of my heart behind.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
Remus woke up slowly, his mind moving slower than cool molasses. He blinked a few times, trying to get his mind running. He turned his head and he inhaled the cool morning air. He looked around, he had the nagging feeling that something was missing, that something important was not there. But as he inhaled again and his mind began to unfog the feeling disappeared into nothingness.
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Two years later I spotted him, sitting with his friends, laughing. He didn't even know I was gone. And while I knew, rationally, he was supposed to forget- I had caused it- it still hurt more than I could have ever imagined.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
The pain was so intense that I could no longer stand it. I had to leave. And while the day was beautiful, I was surrounded in darkness. I did not think that my heart could break further, I had been very wrong. For days afterward I could see nothing worthwhile in the mirror, nothing of significance.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
I lay in the tiny bedroom, in my tiny apartment, with my eyes closed. I thought of what I had left behind, what I was protecting, who I was protecting. I thought of my Remus, of my clan- who think I'm very dead-, and of my old school friends- Severus, Bella, 'Cissy, and Reg. And when that could no longer hold back the tears I thought of what would have befallen them had I stayed.
I tried to picture my friends and my loved ones in the small cottage I shared with Remy. I tried to picture them covered in blood and ash, the small of their bodies as they burned. I could no longer hold back the tears but I had successfully killed the urge to run back to Remy and kiss him, or to even spend a single night in the cottage.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
I wondered if he'd still love me if I broke the spell containing his memories. I imagined his anger, and his forgivness, and the fantastic make-up sex that would follow. Before I gave into the tears and the exhastion I whispered:
"Isn't someone missing me?"
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I sat on the edge of the forest surrounding the cottage. I could hear the howls, the sounds of his beast's rage. It new what it had lost, even if Remus did not. I sounds awful but I was mildly comforted by that knowledge.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
I knew how he would look in the morning. I knew he would be broken and bruised. He would be terribly cut up and I wouldn't be able to heal him. And as his voice rose with his pain I joined him. The beast in myself joined the beast in him and cried to the moon of her pain.
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
I should never have gone to visit him on the full moon. They found me, they followed me, and now they will kill him to hurt me. I could not allow it. He was my perfect mate and I would happily die to be sure he lived. I ran.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
I knew I would die. I knew he would read of my death in the paper, and I knew he would not even give me a second thought. But still I ran, determined to be sure he would be given the chance to read of my death. Better I died than he died and I killed myself for my failure.
I fought like a mad creature, like one with nothing left to lose. It was true. But I was winning, sort of. They were dropping like flies, but I was so terribly wounded. I took great pleasure in killing the last of them, and as his body fell to the ground my knees gave out.
I looked around the beautiful clearing, so close to our cottage. It was our haven, but I could tell he had not been there since I left. Perhaps he did not remember it either. With my last ounce of energy I set a barrier around the clearing and set the bodies around me ablaze. He would never know what had transpired here.
I fell into the darkness with the image of his loving smile the last thing I saw.
Hope you liked it folks. Please no flames.
HA as if I would end it there. Ok….. So I was tempted, but the song isn't done.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
I awoke some time later, surprised to be alive. It was the pain that let me know I was really alive. I was surprised to see the sun setting through the trees, had Remus not seen the fire? Or was my spell so good that he could not even see my magic?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
Somehow I managed to get myself away. It took months to heal with no help, Muggle or magical.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Finally I gave in. They were dead, I told myself. How could one little visit hurt? So I slipped into his cottage and made my way to his bedroom. Almost nothing had changed, a few new pictures here and there, in the places of those she had taken. I slid the door open, smiling as it still made no sound.
I almost cried aloud when my eyes took in the sight in front of me. My Remy lay on his… OUR… bed nude. The only flaw with the image was the equally nude woman who lay curled up against his side. The smell of sex hung in the air.
I took control of my pain and anger, I turned to go. But Remus stirred, I was unable to just walk away. I walked silently up to him, ignoring the woman, and gently touched his cheek. I stroked it and he turned into my palm, nuzzling it happily.
I leaned down and kissed his cheek. He murmured a name that was not mine and I could no longer fight the tears that fell from my eyes. I ran out as silently as a ghost. Determined to never return.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
I sat alone, contemplating the knife in my hands. I knew it was pathetic, but I couldn't survive with the knowledge he had found another love. I lifted the knife to my chest, above my heart. I took a deep breath.
Remus woke slowly, his mind foggy. He inhaled deeply, and he got the feeling he had grown accustomed to over the last three years. Something was missing, something did not fit. He took another deep breath, turning to nuzzle his pillow. For the first time, as his mind began to wake up, the feeling did not go away. He sighed, took a deep breath and tried to ignore the feeling, perhaps it would go away. He smelled sex, his bed partner- Mary-, and something he could not place.
He sniffed the bed, searching for the point of origin. Finally he found it, a few small spots on his pillow. It smelled like salt and water- like tears- and like apples. He inhaled again, trying to place where he knew the scent.
He puzzled over it all day. The scent was driving him crazy, he knew the smell, he was sure of it. He knew the person who belonged to the scent, and he felt that it was important. Finally, as the night fell, he decided to go for a walk.
He walk for a short while when the cool breeze wafted the smell of ash in his direction. It was old, old enough that he would have normally disregarded it. But given his current dilemma he decided to check it out.
As he neared a small clearing he saw that the edges of said clearing were charred. He stepped into the clearing and in the light of the moon he saw that it was recently burned, the entire clearing, had been burned. But only the clearing, none of the other trees showed signs of heat, let alone fire.
Then the clouds moved and fully uncovered the moon. Remus looked up at the sky and heard a phantom voice whisper "Isn't it beautiful, My wolf?" He could see the short, reddish hair playing in the breeze. He could see the beautiful golden eyes smiling at him; he could smell the crisp apple scent that clung to her. And finally, he remembered her name. "Lyka," he gasped, turning to run.
"Isn't someone missing me?" I half sang, half cried. I plunged the knife into my chest with a cry.
Remus ran into the small room to find his Lyka, his perfect match, lying in a pool of her own blood, a knife protruding from her chest. For a moment the whole world stopped, then he heard it. The "thud,thud" of a heart beat.
He held his breath, praying to hear it again. When he did he cried out loud and pulled her into his arms. He disapparated.
I awoke sometime later, I knew I was alive because of the pain. I opened my eyes and was startled to see the clean white of a ceiling that was not my own. I turned my head to the side and saw something that all but made my heart stop all over again.
Remus was smiling at me softly, love shining in his eyes. He brushed my hair from my eyes and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I missed you," he whispered.