Disclaimer: .
Dedication: To Koko Roco, because I love you and I can't thank you enough for putting up with my screwy sentence structures. To Mr. Tony Stark, because Peter Parker would be so terribly lost without you, and he honestly can't thank you enough. To everyone who has loved and lost in more ways than one. And finally, to Sinny, because your stupidity is made of epic win and I love it so much.
- - -
He could still recall the day a week ago when Roxas pulled on his cloak, slipping on his gloves as Axel idly watched him from this proverbial perch at the window; cigarette smoke curling in tender tendrils from between thin lips to lightly escape into the late moon-kissed air.
"We're like a rope burning from both ends, Axel. We're going to burn out one day."
He had said this with his back turned towards him, body only three-quarters turned so that he couldn't see the endless depths of sapphire blue. Axel wasn't sure if he said anything in response; but there was something hallow in those clearly uttered words, which really was all they had these days.
Words. Because anyone could do anything with them.
Because words were empty promises.
"No, we're not."
"Then what are we? What is this?" Roxas' voice was clear; clearer than normal. There was no sarcastic bite, no cold edge. Just him; lilting and light like a bell ringing during the first spring rain. Axel wished for nothing more than for Roxas to look at him. He tossed the cigarette out the window and hopped down, coming a foot away from Roxas. His hand stopped an inch from Roxas' shoulder, and despite Axel's gloved hand and the material of his cloak, Roxas felt it. That small flutter of heat Axel commanded, burning sweetly under his skin; threatening to spread and incinerate him from the inside out.
The hand disappeared. A dry chuckle reverberated from the lean chest directly behind him. Roxas didn't have to turn to see the usual cocky smirk on Axel's face.
"I'll let you know when I figure that out." Roxas turned, staring at refulgent emerald for a moment and he smiled. A small smile underscored with with a veil of mild sorrow.
"Okay," he said, and he leaned up on his tiptoes and kissed him lightly; a small brush of lips. The door closed and Axel was left cold, drowning in the endless dark depths of blue.
- - -
If there was one place Roxas enjoyed at all in the World that Never Was, it was the small little area at the edge of the world; that one desolate beach, dark and quiet save for the soft crashing of waves upon black sand. There was no one there to tell him what to do, no one there to spout nonsensical verbiage created by a certain megalomaniac.
It was the only place where Roxas could think. The only place where he was free from everything and anything.
That was until Axel found him, of course.
"So, what? Is this your new super secret hang-out spot?" Roxas couldn't contain the small amused quirk of his lips,
"I guess you could say that."
"Fuck that. You're just here to avoid Xemnas, aren't you?" Axel didn't need to look over to see the wry smirk on the blond's face.
"Hey, if you're going to hide, why not find a nicer place than that white-washed dump of a castle?"
"My thoughts exactly." And Roxas laughed. A louder, seemingly bullet-proof one. One that created the illusion of contentment, of happiness.
One that told Axel that he was normal. That he could feel. That it was alright for him to think that Roxas looked pretty nice like that; deep blue orbs sparkling from the moonlight bouncing off the waves and twirling in his hair.
At times like these, Axel wished the Keyblade didn't exist. Wished that Sora didn't exist; but without Sora there was no Roxas. And without Roxas...
Axel just wanted Roxas to be happy. But happiness were as common as the sun in the World That Never Was, and despite that, Axel kept grinning the grin that Number XIII admired.
It at least coaxed a smile, however fake, from Roxas and that was good enough for Axel.
- - -
"We're not a rope burning from both ends, Roxas." Said blond glanced over once before turning back to the ocean.
"You said that once."
"Yeah. I said I'd tell you when I figured it out..."
"Why do I have the feeling that what you're going to say will sound really corny?"
"...You're such a bitch sometimes; you know that?" Roxas shrugged, laughing quietly.
"Fine, what were you going to say?"
"We're like stars, Roxas. We're knocked out of orbit and when I die, you'll be able to see me." Roxas didn't respond, gaze hooded and lowered. When he looked up again, Axel's chest clenched a little too tightly and he watched the smaller hand reach up to him, un-gloved fingertips lightly caressing his jaw. The touch was soft, feathery—so different from the needy, almost grappling touches of raw instinct that occurred long into the night—and Axel could make out the minute ridges embedded in Roxas' skin.
"Stars burn brightest when they're dying, don't they?" He murmured, and Axel closed his eyes, knowing that if he had a heart it'd have shattered into an infinite amount of pieces.
- - -
Roxas always visited his room at midnight when Kingdom Hearts was at its zenith; high and gleaming against the dark sky, throwing everything into a blue tinted relief. No words would be exchanged, and Axel knew that words were like Heartless to Roxas.
So, instead they acted. With an almost dreamlike quality they touched, they tasted, they breathed, until everything happened at once; molding and welding like metal at the peak of temperature. Small, almost child-like palms traced a familiar path down his arms and Axel couldn't help but wonder if this was just a little wrong. But he decided it didn't matter when a warmth settled over the area where his heart should be; a hushed breath, softer than a breeze fluttering across his sternum. And the only thing he could see were Roxas' eyes; clear and so painfully blue, bluer than the never ending ocean at Destiny Islands and so deep that it threatened to drown him every time.
It was a re-occurring dream that ended when Roxas came, back arching off the hard mattress; his name escaping whisper light from a pale throat, a white ribbony mess of heat gathering over his torso. But Roxas smiled, he always did; a broader smile coupled with a light contented sigh as slender fingers weaved through his hair, slipping down to his jaw like water. Axel shuddered, Roxas chuckled.
Sensation was important; the desire to feel even knowing that they couldn't. He knew Roxas did this because he secretly wished he wouldn't have to be that burning segment of rope, frayed and spilling smoldering pieces of fabric that fizzed out before they hit the ground. Roxas did it because he knew there would be nothing left, just a small pile of ash bitter with the rancid smell of desperation and exhaustion, spent and defeated with no heart to go down with him.
Sometimes Axel couldn't help but imagine that perhaps Roxas would be that star, burning and flaring in a flash of brilliant light before it fizzled and disappeared. The thought chilled Axel deep into his bones; a chill that even his fire couldn't melt.
- - -
He could still recall the day all those months ago when they sat together watching the sunset in Twilight Town. He could still remember the way Roxas smiled, staring into the horizon; unveiled and clear like his voice. It was soft, like his fingers, his breath; and even now as he laid on his back staring into those same unending blue eyes, Axel wished for nothing more than to see that smile again. He laughed to hide his shame, his weakness. Which would always be, undoubtedly, Roxas.
But he laughed at the irony of it all, because in the end, Axel was that rope that burned from both ends. He was the burning, frayed, segment of rope that spilled smoldering pieces of fabric that fizzled out before they hit the ground. He was the star that was knocked out of orbit that died and burned out in one last display of his memory and will. A part of him warmed at the fact Roxas would see him and if he squinted, the light would hit those eyes in just the right way; shimmering and sparkling like the day they stayed at the beach, putting off their missions for another day spent watching soft waves futilely lapping at their boots.
Axel smiled and fizzled out.
--OWARI.
Koya's Note: To be honest with you, this one shot nearly killed me. I started off strong, but towards the middle, it was all on auto-pilot. xo
I'm...not as satisfied with this because it feels half-assed to me, sort of. But, I hope you all still enjoyed this despite everything.
While writing this, I was listening to Violet Hill by Coldplay. The lyrics fit pretty well with the story, and it sort of is an Axel/Roxas song.
Also, thanks again to everyone who has reviewed to my stories. Really, they mean so much to me and I can't thank you all enough. So, thank you!
I hope to see you all soon in my next story.