Perception Filter

In a family this large, it's easy to get lost in the crowd.

Everyone knows about Rose, Victoire, Lily, Roxanne and even Molly, my little sister. Some even mistake me for her. It's the hair; I know it's the hair. Just another Weasley they say when they mistake me for Molly. I sometimes wonder if they know my name.

I've always blended in; it's something that has come naturally to me. I have the same red hair as the Weasleys, the same eyes as my mother and the same face as my sister. I was sorted into Gryffindor along with the rest of my family; I don't get amazing marks like Rose, or horrible marks like James. I don't have a boyfriend, I've never been kissed, and I've never been a part of the Quidditch team. I'm just Lucy Weasley and sometimes I'm not even sure if I am or not.

Blending in is always something that I've done, even when I was younger. I liked blending in as opposed to standing out. But being noticed is a completely different thing.

There are many ways to be noticed; there's James' notoriety with his reputation as a bad-boy and a prankster, the popular bloke that everyone likes and half the female population of Hogwarts would like to sleep with him.

Then there's Roses form of getting noticed, through daring to dream; recently, she started dating Scorpius Malfoy and given the Malfoy's track record with my family, you can imagine how well that went down with my Uncle Ron and the rest of my relatives. Naturally, this caught everyone's attention, although Rose had received a lot of notability as the cleverest witch of her age since her mother.

There was then Dominique's form of being noticed. Dom and I were the closest in age, but we seemed worlds apart. There was only one word for Dom's condition; Depression. This was how everyone knew Dominique Weasley; the depressed, anorexic one. While Dom and I were both withdrawn from the events of our crazy family, if you asked most people who Dom was, they'd be able to tell you.

Most days I feel like I'm wearing a perception filter; I'm there in plain sight, but people seem to look straight past me as if I'm not standing there at all. I'm surrounded by my family, but at the same time, I'm constantly standing in their shadow.

I've never bothered making any friends. I'm sure that if I tried I could have a few good ones, but I'm too socially awkward to maintain a conversation past names and ages. Molly is my best friend. We may be nine years apart, but Molly understands me. She knows where I'm coming from when I tell her that I feel like nobody notices me.

I don't know how she knows though, she stands out because she got our mother's curly hair, she stands out because she's short like our mother, not tall and gangly like our father; a characteristic which I had unfortunately inherited. She's popular and pretty, everyone knows who she is. I don't want that, I just want my family to acknowledge that I'm there.

I don't know what I stand for. I'm only sixteen, and that's not unusual, but it seems that everyone in my year knows where they're going, or at least what they want, but I don't have a clue. I want it to have something to do with helping people, like a healer, but I have no way of getting that far in my career track, I'm not as smart as Rose is, or as dedicated to a dream as she is.

Enter Lysander, he's funny, perfect and I'm completely head over heels in love with him, but even around him it's like I'm wearing that same perception filter. He doesn't see me, but I'm there. He doesn't hear me, but I'm speaking. I doubt he even knows my name. Of course he would know my surname, who wouldn't at the sight of my hair? He probably thinks I'm Roxanne.

Sometimes I think that the perception filter is faulty and Lysander sees me and smiles, but quickly looks away. Maybe he doesn't want to be associated with me. I wouldn't blame him.

I wonder if Lysander sees me all the time, I wonder if he just looks past me because everyone else does. I wonder if he actually does like me back. Though he'd probably get me mixed up with the rest of my cousins if we were ever to speak and he was to hear me.

His brother, Lorcan is friendly and has even spoken to me a few times, but each time, consecutively, I've failed to speak back to him. I got all tongue tied and opened my mouth and shut it like a fish out of water. Lorcan still smiles at me from across the room sometimes, but he hasn't spoken to me since January. Maybe he thinks I'm mute. I wouldn't be surprised if Lysander thought that too.

My life revolves around this perception filter. I don't do anything that will take me outside of its boundaries. I sometimes wonder why I don't try to break free and that's when I realise; I like the perception filter, it gives me my own world void of any dramas from friends or family.

But any dramas that they might have are nothing compared to the conflict that is constantly happening in my head. I like to be alone, blending into a world full of drama, but I want to be noticed and I want to be known as Lucy, not 'That shy Weasley girl'

"She's just another Weasley," they say, "they breed like rabbits."

That's all I am to the public, another Weasley. Not Lucy, but just another Weasley.

I don't know what I want. I'm scared that if I break free of the perception filter's boundaries and make a name for myself that I'll want to hide back inside. The outside world is a scary place, and I'm safe here inside the boundaries of the perception filter. They don't see me, but I'm there.

AN: I feel loads better now :) Thanks Lucy for letting me dump my problems on you!

This is for

The Minor Character Boot Camp Challenge with the prompt 'surrounded'
The Promptless One Hour Challenge/Hardest Challenge Ever.

I would love it if you had the time to type out a review for me.

Potter On

~The Original Horcrux~