I'd Rather Feel Nothing
Fanfiction inspired by the song: Fallout by Marianas Trench
Chapter One
He takes slow, careful paces around the room as memories of her flow piece by piece back into his mind. Everything feels so empty. His heart wants to ache, so badly, but all it feels is … emptiness. All it COULD feel was just emptiness; just a whole lot of nothing, as if his heart was numb. Looking around, all he could see is Hermione written all over the room, like she owns it. His heart lurches, and he struggles to hold back the tears that was put away during the long, painful battle. He refuses to give in, to let himself cry.
An empty room, I'm empty too, and everything reminds me of you.
He swipes his finger along the dusty cupboard, flicking it away weakly as he notices the blood on his hands. The war had scarred him, in a way that will and can never be undone. It took away his family, took away what he had actually started to believe was a home; it took away what could have been the start of something special for him. Took away his fresh start, ripping away the little bit of hope that was left in him. It took away Hermione Granger.
He walks mindlessly over to the dust covered bed, still looking over his blood stained hands. As he looks up, he freezes on the spot as a single tear trails down his cheek, over a raw cut. The sting was nothing compared to what his heart is feeling as he curses himself silently for coming back to this untouched room, which was so broken in so many ways.
Flashback
"You know, your snore really is the most adorable thing, Granger," Draco commented as he saw his first love wake from her slumber.
Her eyes fluttered open gently to his voice, and snorted a little as she replied softly in a teasing voice, "Malfoy, is that what you say to every girl you manage to sleep with in the morning? If so, you really do need to put more thought into what you say, seeing it's not as smooth as when you're picking girls up."
She propped herself on her elbow and stared smugly at the beautiful man who she'd never imagine to be in the same bed with, getting herself terribly lost in his eyes. She placed her hand at his shoulders and proceeded to slowly stroke up and down, leaving goose bumps all over his arms. Her arms crept up to his neck, resting it there, feeling him shiver at her touch. She knew exactly what that did to him and grinned.
He lifted his hand and gently tucked a strand of her honey coloured curls behind her ear and chuckled. "Love, I'd hate to correct you, but wrong. I am flattered by your compliment to my smoothness, though, thank you. I am not as good with words afterwards frankly because I never used to have to follow protocol, therefore I never needed practice," He paused as he slowly pulled her closer to him by her waist, and whispered into her ear, "because, love, no other girl has ever been so special for me to stay for so long, possibly even forever." He finishes, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her on the forehead as they closed their eyes, drifting off to sleep again. They snuggled closer together, keeping warm from the chilling December air of their first Christmas together, as Hermione whispers, "Happy Christmas, Draco."