No
plot…..No plot….. and wow, more plotlessness! (Sarryn: Not only that but some
rather interesting new people have joined…yes, oh one of little memory (Deus
who is making comments while I type this), remember the gnats?) Oh, right. WARNING: Read only if you never, ever wish
to have any hope of staying sane.
Everything was happy and normal
on the Vione for the Dragonslayers. They were doing whatever it was that
Dragonslayers did when not trying to hunt down Van and failing miserably doing
that. Since all this is rather boring Sarryn decided to drop by. Upon seeing
her they all feared, especially Dallet because wherever she went the amphoteric
antelope was sure to follow. Speaking of said antelope it immediately appeared.
Dallet screamed horribly and ran off. Ignoring him and his pursuer, Sarryn
showed the Dragonslayers what she held in her hands (yes I AM in this for once)
and they feared even more.
It was…a PEN! (Ooohhh: from
Sarryn) The formerly unrevealed method
through which authors access their strange and unusual powers. At this precise moment Deus decided to drop
in and ruin any dramatic effect. "Oh,
hi Sarryn." Upon seeing this she whipped out her Unabridged Webster's
Dictionary of Modern English Words, then promptly collapsed under its immense weight. In response Deus (using his extremely
expensive nifty pen, made by cross (in case any one was wondering) Sarryn: For
30 dollars!!!!! Deus: grr.) Writes an army of typewriters into existence, to
enhance his strange and unusual author's powers. After his power's had been enhanced (Sarryn: You already used
that word! Deus: So?) multi-fold, he attempted to write Sarryn out of
existence.
(Smacking Deus for fiddling with the
keyboard while she was trying to write, the story continues)
Instead he summoned a horde of
kumquat wielding constipated gnat-men (Deus: Oh good God!) yes and they
promptly began to do a rather…interesting rendition of River Dance! (Sarryn: I
think the readers now fear). Sarryn took one look at them and momentarily
disappeared into non-space. Everyone waited for a couple of minutes then forgot
about her existence, unfortunately she wasn't really gone. A few hours later
she reappeared dragging a rather petulant Dilandau who was unwilling to give
her his flamethrower.
During her absence, Deus tried frantically to disappear
the gnat-men, with only mild success.
Unfortunately, he had to watch river-dance while working, which made
that rather difficult. (Sarryn: Okay enough thinking must write or be prepared
for major smackage) Deus would like to inform Sarryn that she is still owed a
smackage for the mew-two story, now on to more important matters; the gnat-men
were still there. Fortunately, Dilly accidentally
set fire to them. Now anyone who knows
much will realize that a highly oxygenated body of flammable solids (e.g. A dense
cloud of gnats) will burn extremely quickly, resulting in an explosion. You have been warned. BOOOOOOOM. No more gnat-men.
Sarryn,
overjoyed, gave Dilly a huge hug, momentarily forgetting that the flamethrower
was still on. The Dragonslayers stood there watching her as she ran around the
room screaming horribly. Someone brought out popcorn and they began to take
bets on when she'd go out. From a small corner of the room the gnat-men ashes
began to stir…dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Deus, in a rare moment of pity, wrote a bucket of hydrochloric
acid into existence and dumped it on Sarryn, ostensibly with the purpose of
putting out the fire, but Sarryn couldn't really tell the difference. (Sarryn:
Ow…the pain…) Next, he managed to
convince a random penguin that the gnat-ashes were edible. This got rid of them, at least for now.
(Sarryn: I would like to interject that I DID drag Folken off to a church in
another story. Hah! Take that Deus, you who dared to doubt me! Ps. This has
nothing to do with the story…sorry) The
penguin, in an impossible moment of being endowed with the power of speech
(this must be telepathic influence from Sarryn) spoke it's mind regarding the
gnat-ashes, which it didn't know were such.
"These taste like gnat-ashes."
"Wahhhgghhh," Sarryn muttered for some reason
(Sarryn: I actually just did that) then exploded into tiny balls of gelatinous
goo. The goo, in an action similar to that liquid guy in T2, melded together
and a non-crispy-critter Sarryn emerged. She gave Deus an evil look and whipped
out the much feared…CHIBI COLLARS!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The exclamation went on for quite some time,
outside, the sun could be seen to set, and then rise, and then set again,
before it ended, strangely, no one could move during this time.
Momentarily taken off guard by that rather…long 'no'
Sarryn gave him a look and then noticed Folken. Forgetting all about Deus and
the collar, which she flung away and it attached itself to the neck of…Viole
(it would've gone on Dallet but he was busy with the antelope). Folken saw her
and feared.
"Folken, my one true love!" she shrieked (Deus: One?
Try one of like 5, Sarryn: So the keyboard DOES count!) and promptly launched
herself at him. (Sarryn: Yes him as in Folken, oh great knit picker).
Deus fearing for his life, (since character who live
inside his mind would be….er….unhappy….if Sarryn did certain unmentionable,
again for Deus' safety, things) frantically wrote a thick steel bubble into
existence for Folken, made it airtight, shoved him in, and dropped him into the
bottom of some very, very,very,very deep ocean.
"Um…airtight? Won't he sort of…suffocate?"
Sarryn asked as Folken disappeared. There was a horrible crack as she breached
the fourth wall. Because of this the world as they knew it, or didn't because
Sarryn had run into a van thinking it was Van, which she still has yet to
rectify with a certain co-writer, ceased and they all tumbled into the lavender
(Sarryn: Not pink, not pink, not pink!) anime void.
Folken appeared as well, much to Deus'
horror, and Sarryn magically, because she can and since she is typing this she
says…er…types so, opened the bubble (Deus would like to mention that bubbles do
not open, this comment will be ignored) and retrieved a rather blue looking
angel dude. (Sarryn: It was not a large bubble! Besides he's a big guy, and
therefore he uses more air than us normal…different people do).
Deus would like to mention that
considering Folken's height and body mass, he would use the same amount of air
as a normal person, BUT he's is missing an arm, and his mechanical
replacement surely doesn't need blood, so logically, Folken would use less,
not more, air than a normal person. (Sarryn: Don't try to confuse me with your
fancy scientific reasoning. I said that's what happened and it did.) I wasn't saying that he didn't use
more air, I said he shouldn't. There
is an important difference.
I get this eerie feeling there will
be a sequel…..
(Sarryn: Why do I put myself in parentheses?
Anyways…(she is momentarily dazzled by the bright light on Deus' optical mouse)…no
they won't take over the world, the sporks out for blood will! Anyways, again,
there will be a sequel…especially if any more Enya is played while she is in
the room!)
One would think Enya would have a
calming influence, but no, it seems to make it worse! I am officially ending this ending!
Well, not quite, REVIEW! It will make us happy (insanely so) and more
likely to write more insanity.
(Sarryn: I'm trapped between the
parentheses! Oh…don't you think telling them we'll write more will…scare them?)
EVERYONE FEAR, brought to you by
Sarryn who has to have the last word, but probably won't unless she knocks Deus
unconscious with the ugly cat candle.
DEUS Says: THE END (for now)
