Unknown Breaking

By: wiccariangoddessofthemoon

Entry #1:

There are times, when no one notices, that I break down. Somehow my heart is breaking, and I can't seem to find out why. It just happens. People see me as the happy-go-lucky girl, cheerful, energetic and kind; sometimes I'm the shoulder they lean on. I sometimes wonder if they would let me lean on them. But I know I can't, because I have to be happy for everyone, because if I don't...

Entry #2:

I'm hurt by little things, when they ignore me or tease me, they don't even notice. And when I finally snap and I'm truthful to someone, the others scold me saying I wasn't gentle enough. I ask them why I have to be gentle when they aren't gentle to me, and the only answer is: "Because you can take it." True: I'm a nice girl that doesn't like to hurt people, but a girl has her limits.

Entry #3:

One good friend of mine falls in love with me, and I don't know what to do...because I don't feel the same. ...Maybe my problem is that I'm too nice. Should I change? Should I? Maybe then I wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe then my heart wouldn't be breaking.

Entry #4:

My cousin and my grandmother told me that people envy me because of my innocence, my good looks, my big heart,...and so many other things. I cried that night after they told me, because never in my life had I thought that one of my aunts and her daughter envied me and talked trash about me. Why do I have to suffer for the way I am? Is it being good that bad?

Entry #5:

I've wondered...since I first started this little 'get it out' notebook, will getting my feelings out like this work? Will it hurt less to get things out like this? Or do I still need to get it out to someone? Hmmm, if there is one thing I've learned is that I can't really trust anyone. Sure, I might seem like the girl that confides in everyone, but that isn't the case. I make people believe that so that they don't go prying. The real me...nobody has seen who the real me is...and nobody will. Because at the end...everyone is alone.

Entry #6:

I have finally found out why my heart is breaking. It's really stupid how I didn't see it, to think that all it took me was to write about how I feel to realize it. It's laughable. My heart is breaking because I feel alone, with no one to confide on. Even though I have plenty of 'friends', I'm really lonely. But you know, what sometimes hurts the most is that when you get close to someone and that person hurts you and turns his or her back to you...how can I believe there is such a thing as a true friend?

I know this 'story' is confusing, but let's just say it come from the bottom of my heart, and I thought that maybe it may apply to Usagi. I don't know if I may continue it since it's pretty emotional for me but getting it out is good instead of bottling up feelings. I think is good so if there is anyone that feels like getting it out, the best form is writing.