She had been on the streets for five years now. She never did get mixed up with prostitution or drugs. She learned to take care of herself. She knew that no one else would do it for her. One day while she was walking around minding her own business she heard a fight in the alley. When she walked back to see what was happening she saw a man standing over a police man with a bloody knife in his hand.
He heard Nikita and went after her with the knife. She was fighting him for control when all of a sudden he ran off. That was when Nikita heard a voice from behind her.
"Freeze! Drop the knife!" Nikita did just as she was told. This was the night that her life ended and a new one began.
PRESENT DAY
Nikita thought about her life out on the streets quite often. She sometimes wondered if she was better of then or now. Then a image of Michael passed before her minds eye. She knew that she was better off the way that she was now. She now had people who cared about her and that tried to protect her no matter what. She never thought that people were capable of this kind of love. She sure had never experienced it before. Not from her family and she never really had any friends. She would just sit and think about all the good times that they had together. She had times with them all.
Sitting with Birkoff stealing his junk food. He would always get particularly agitated when she would make off with his oreos. Going over to Walter after a mission when she was upset he always had a way of cheering her up. He was always flirting with her. Then there came Madeline, She remembered back when Madeline had actually confided in her what it was that caused her to be brought into Section. She even had times to remember things that happened with Operations. After she had saved his son and turned down letting her go. He came back and told her that if she ever needed anything, within reason, that he would try to help her with it. She had never taken him on the offer. She was keeping it for when she had something good to use it on. She no longer yearned for freedom. She knew that was not what she wanted anymore.
Then last but not least she thought about Michael. Oh Michael. She had so many memories about him. Both good and bad. The many times that he had actually showed her his feelings and the many betrayals and manipulations. Although she always found out the reason later and understood what it was he was trying to accomplish. Most of the time it was something that was done to protect her.
"What are you doing here in the dark?" Michael asked as he walked into her apartment. He almost tripped over her coat that was just dropped on the floor. He caught himself in time, but it made Nikita laugh anyway. He knew that Nikita had enjoyed his little trip and for a second thought that he might have planned it.
"Just thinking." Nikita said.
"About what?" He questioned.
"My life, Now and my life before Section. I know that you have always said that you had no life before Section. For the longest time I didn't agree with you."
"You do now?" He looked puzzled.
"Yes. I had no one before I came here. Now I have a family and you mean the world to me." She sat there with her chin on her chest.
Michael looked at her for a second before walking over to sit on the coffee table in front of her. He lifted her face up to him and he saw a tears in her eyes.
"Is there something else you are not telling me?" He asked even though he knew that she would not tell him anything. She had withdrawn from him lately. She was not the same person anymore. She would always find a reason to come into Section even when she had the day off. She would have a reason to see him, but she had not been in Section in over three days.. She would answer the phone but would not say anything more than she couldn't talk right now.
He decided that he had to go over and find out for himself. He was not the only one that noticed this. Madeline had called him into her office. He decided to ask to be able to take a couple of days off to spend with Nikita. He was surprised that Madeline agreed and said that was exactly what she had in mind. So he left almost immediately.
Walter asked him to let him and Birkoff know if they could be of any help. He said OK, but that right now he did not even know what was going on.
As he sat in front of her she tried to turn away so that he couldn't see the tears but the effort was futile. He would not allow her to pull away from him again. He could not stand seeing her in so much pain lately and not knowing what to do to help her.
"Now tell me what is wrong."
"I don't know. I just feel as though my life is not worth living sometimes. I have you and Walter and everybody. You are my family. More of a family than I have ever had before, but I just sometimes don't know how to feel about-" She stopped and tried to turn away again.
"About what?" He was waiting for the answer.
She pulled away and got up. He walked over and stood behind her with his arms around her waist. Her hair was blowing slightly. He heard take a deep sigh. Then she leaned her head forward.
"Tell me Nikita. Please."
"About us. I do not know what to feel about us. One day we are together and talking and the next we are fighting or lying to each other. I don't know when you are telling me the truth or you are telling me something that Section wants me to think. I do not know how you really feel."
"Nikita, Why didn't you come and talk to me about this?" He whispered into her ear. "I would have been there for you. I know that I have told you lies and that I have used your feelings against you, but I am forced to do it to save your life. Because if you were not in my life that my life would have no meaning anymore."
"Why Michael? What would it have not meaning anymore? Please tell me because I don't understand anymore." The tears started to flow once again. She felt Michael's grip tighten and then he began to talk.
"After I lost Simone I had withdrew and not let anyone around me. I was about ready to end it all. That was when Madeline called me into her office and told me that she wanted me to train someone. You. I tried to keep you at arms length. I did not want to get close to you or have any feeling for you, but the more that I would push you away the deeper into my heart you would climb. You weren't doing anything on purpose. You were just being yourself. I found out that I really did not have much of a life without you. I was able to live my life through you. Because of you I am getting my soul back. If I lost you then there would be no reason for me to live. I can't lose you again. When the suicide mission came up, I thought that you had not made it out in time and it just ripped out my heart. I could not feel anything. I could not function on my missions. I could not live anymore. That night in Lyons, I did not care whether or not those men had shot me. I was actually hoping that they would. I did not want to live anymore. That was when I saw you. I thought that you were an illusion. That you were not real. All I could do when I saw you was stare. When I heard the men coming and turned back around to you, You were gone. I thought that you had just disappeared. When I notified you and you finally answered my messages I did not know how to feel. All I knew was that I had you back and one way or another I would not let you go again. I ," he paused for a minute and Nikita turned around to look at him.. When she smiled he decided to finish. He could not hide the truth from her any longer. "I love you. I have loved for a long time. I have never felt something so strong. Never. And it scared me. My emotions were so intense that I did not know how to control them so I tried to limit the contact between us. I tried to push you away, but every once in a while I would slip. I love you, Nikita. I am so sorry to have put you through all this. Please forgive me."
"I do Michael, I do." She then drew him into a kiss. "I love you too. I guess that I just needed to hear it. I just wanted to actually hear you tell me. I do feel a lot better now. There is still something that is bothering me. I don't know how to stop it because I don't even know what it is. I am just scared. I have never felt so out of control in my life." She laid her head onto his chest and began to cry once again.
Michael put his arms around her and smoothed her hair down her back and kissed her on top of the head. "Don't worry Nikita. Together we will figure it out. I promise you.."
"I hope so. Because I can't take this much longer. It is like I know that something is going to happen. I just don't know what. I don't like this feeling at all."
"I am right here and I will not leave you. I am here as long as you need me here.."
"Well then I think you need to go and get some clothes because you are going to be here for a long time." She smiled and laid her head forward on his and closed her eyes.
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Michael stayed with Nikita that night. He held her all night long. Ever so often she would feel as though her link to him had been broken and she would wake up only long enough to cuddle closer to him.
"How are you feeling today, love?" Michael asked when he saw her open her eyes.
She leaned over and gave her a kiss. She rolled over so that she could look at him in the face. " I don't know. That all depends."
Michael looked at her. "On what?''
She smiled back. "On if this is a dream or not."
"If this is a dream may we never wake up." He said as he stared into her beautiful blue eyes. "Why don't you go first in the shower? I have something that I need to do first."
Nikita agreed and headed off towards the bathroom.
As soon as she was out of sight Michael went into the kitchen and started breakfast. When Nikita stepped out of the shower she smelled something delicious. She walked towards her kitchen and saw Michael standing by the table. He had made breakfast and there was a single rose sitting at her place at the table.
"How did you get this done so fast?" She looked at him with a smile.
"You were in the shower for forty-five minutes."
She laughed and sat down. "Michael, I have to know something. Is all that you told me last night the truth? Or was it something that you thought would cheer me up?"
"I said it to cheer you up, but it was also the honest truth. I do love you. I might still have to hide it from Section, but I will never again hide it from you."
Nikita looked into his eyes as he was talking to her. She could see into his soul and she could see that he was telling the truth.
"Are you ready to head into Section?"
Michael looked at her strange for a minute. "I thought that we had a couple of days off. Why do you want to go in now. Let's spend them together."
Nikita smiled.. "We have the next two days to be together. There is something that is going to happen, I need to find out what it is going to be."
Michael agreed because he knew that this was really bothering her. So he went to take a shower so that they could leave. Michael got in and got undressed and into the shower. He was beginning to wash his hair and did not hear the door open, but as he was finishing the door to the tub opened and in stepped Nikita. The first thing she did was put her arms around him. He jumped a little. She knew that her touch set him on fire. Most of that time he would have to extinguish it because he knew that they would never be able to have anything together, but he decided that they were going to be together one way or another. So he gave into the fire and let it burn bright.
Nikita ran her hands over his taut stomach. She could feel every muscle. As her hands went on with their exploration he let out a moan. He did not mean to but he couldn't stop himself. He then turned around to kiss her and saw how absolutely beautiful she was. He looked into her eyes and just wished that he could crawl into that deep blue ocean. He was burning up with passion. They satisfied every desire that they had. As they stopped both of their energy spent Michael leaned forward and kissed her. "I love you Nikita."
"I love you too."
As they were out getting ready to go into Section Michael walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "What was that for?"
She turned to him and smiled. "You showed me your true feelings and emotions and I thought that It was only fair to show you mine. From now on I just want to be with you no matter what anyone says."
They left and went on to Section. Before they got out of the car Michael leaned over and kissed her. Then he got out. She did not say anything but she blushed. She loved the affection that he was giving her. It felt like heaven.
(A. N. Please let me know what you think of the story so far. I'll be adding another chapter soon. I am just editing it right now. Please read and review.)