This was an attempt at making a dark Junk fic for xRey'sAngel and I just hope she likes. She's one of my fwiends. Awesome sweetheart. Go check out her fics. And be jealous.
Quietly
Rated: +18 – darkness; angst; dark
Summary: FOURSHOT. Jeff and CM Punk had been dating for two years now. Jeff wants Punk to be his first but after a sexual assault, Punk feels unable to make love to Jeff when it's time. And Jeff takes the wrong message…but Punk doesn't want him to know that Jeff's brother had sexually assaulted him. Jeff/Punk SLASH.
Genre: Angst/General
Part One: It Hurts
He's standing outside the arena.
Punk's head was pounding and pounding and pounding with pain and agony and desolation as he walked towards outside of the arena, towards his car, settling his black duffel bag on the shiny surface of his car and Punk was taken by his wrist, thrown on the floor and his head was burning at the core of his brain and all he could think about was Jeff, his beautiful Jeff, his sweet Jeff, all alone at his hotel room, waiting for him and Punk was punched into the stomach as he looked into the brown eyes of Matt's eyes—
Those eyes that reflected his so very much.
He's outside of his own heart, too.
Matt tackled Punk's lips and Punk could feel a fire spark in his body as Punk tried to get out of the parking lot and before Punk could say anything, Matt had ripped Punk's black t-shirt off and Punk could seriously feel the coldness of the road as his hot, fierce body pressed against the too cold road and his body was burning on the inside and he can't hear another word and he felt like the coldness was burning him even more on the inside as he let the tired tears burn at his eyes.
"Stop!"
In moments, just moments, Punk's clothes were ripped and Punk laid there on the floor of the cold road, with no one still around but him and Matt, Punk's heart was thudding as hard as ever and he knew that this would end quickly but his heart was beating so fast in his head that it felt like eternity and Matt whispered that simple word in Punk's ear as his body pressed against Punk's, "slut. You're a slut, Punk, aren't you? Then touch me."
Punk reached out and takes Matt's cock in his hands, gripping as tight as ever as Punk was ready to let the tears spill when Matt shoved himself in Punk's mouth and Punk had to suck on and right then, he truly felt like he was betraying Jeff for he touched anyone like this since he'd fallen for Jeff and he didn't want to be anyone's slut anymore as Matt gripped tight onto a mass of Punk's black strands, "you slut, do this right!"
He's bleeding on the inside and he can't stop himself.
Punk fastened, sucking as hard as ever, as his tears fell freely from his face and God, he felt like he was burning to nothingness and when he felt Matt come inside of Punk's mouth, that was when he pushed away, and Matt slammed him hard on the floor, forcing Punk to swallow the fluid in his mouth and Punk took a deep breath, smelling the quick scent of air before Matt positioned himself close to Punk, gripping onto Punk's own cock while he pushed inside of him, as hard as ever, and Punk let out a scream, knowing that no one could hear him. "A screamer, aren't you, you slutty, slutty boy?"
He's crying on the inside and no one cares.
Matt pushed as hard as he could, finally making Punk feel like his brain was going out and as his slow and hard thrusts became faster but still painful, Punk just wished that it will all be over as Matt kissed him, a hard kiss that made Punk want to spit in his mouth but he didn't because truthfully, he just wanted to go home and curl up to Jeff, he just wanted to be in Jeff's arms and now, as the fire faded, there was nothing left in Punk's body. Just nothing. Ashes and ashes of nothing.
He's so hurt and he can't fix himself.
"Don't you dare tell anyone about this, bitch."
Matt left and soon after he left, Punk pressed his body against the cold road even harder, the parking lot or driving lot or whatever they called it since he can't really think was still empty and it was too late and Punk took his black pants, the thick fabric not comforting his sticky sweaty legs and he looked for another t-shirt since Matt had practically ripped his and he put the ripped one in a bag. If anyone found it, there would be questions and Punk just wanted to go home right now and as he took his duffel bag, and pulled himself in the driver's seat and looked out into the blackness of the world around him.
He feels like the world's changed around him and he doesn't know how to explain the betrayal that's in him.
He's so in pain.
He's so hurt.
Punk drove towards Jeff's and his' hotel and as he knocked on the door, Jeff opened it with concerned and inquisitive eyes, "where were you, Phil?"
Punk didn't answer. He just walked inside and flopped on the bed, completely and utterly tired and every time he moved, a piece of his muscle was bending to make him ache as hard as ever.
"I just feel a little sick but it'll pass," Punk responded as Jeff laid on the bed and pressed his head towards Punk's chest, feeling Punk's heartbeat and Punk can only feel one thing right now…
Hollow.
Empty.
"Phil? Where were you?" Jeff responded, pressing Punk's body towards his body, so that they were both warmed by their body temperature.
"Just went out for a walk. I felt kinda sick so I came back home." Punk lied, trying to sound as genuine and sincere as possible and Jeff nodded his head and pressed his head on Punk's shoulder, and normally, Punk would feel at ease.
But-but he wasn't.
Just so much pain.
"Phil?"
Punk snapped back into reality, as Jeff cupped his hand on Punk's cheek, kissing Punk's forehead. "I can't wait until I get to touch you tomorrow. I want you to be the first and only guy I touch, Punk."
To Jeff, this was important and that made Punk feel sick knowing that he can't be as pure as Jeff. He wanted to save himself for something special and he saved himself for a slut that would just go around sleeping with people and that was the only way to deal with the pain and agony of thinking that no one would love him just as he was and when he found Jeff, he felt complete and so did Jeff.
And now, Punk couldn't let Jeff sleep with him.
The vivid images of Matt's rape were still in his head. The pain of it all. The emptiness that he was feeling inside right now. He just wanted it all to go away but he can't really understand all of this. How the world was just painted in black when Matt had done what he did to him, when suddenly, the colors were all faded and he felt sick inside.
It's all go away. It has to.
He can't disappoint Jeff tomorrow and he can't tell Jeff that his brother, his loving brother, his Matt, had held him down onto the pairing lot and had screwed around with him as hard as he could've and he had called him a slut. That word had hurt him for so long and coming from someone that Jeff looked up to…
It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.
In the middle of Jeff's sleep, Punk gripped onto Jeff's body and pressed his head against Punk's chest and he cried, he cried and sobbed into Jeff's chest as the vivid images replayed and replayed into his head. A nightmare.
It hurts!
Jeff woke up and shook Punk's shoulders, staring straight at Punk's eyes as tears spilled from his eyes, and Punk wiped his own tears away before Jeff could do so even if he wanted Jeff to wipe away his tears, wanted to feel Jeff's loving, gentle touch, wiping away those tears of horror and terror and fear of Matt.
"Philly?"
He hated that nickname but he didn't care right now.
"Phil?"
"…I'm sorry, Jeff. I just had a nightmare."
Jeff wrapped his arms around Punk and pulled him closer, letting Punk put his head on Jeff's chest as both slept but Punk didn't know how to tell Jeff that he didn't want Jeff to fuck him tomorrow. It would be so hard to tell him that but harder for Jeff if Punk would just start crying during sex and Jeff would be put off sex forever and Punk…Punk just wished that this didn't happen because—
Because—
It hurts…
How is it until now? Should I continue this fourshot? Hope you like it until, xRey'sAngel! Hope I got your penname right.
X Sam.