Sara's POV
Shift ended almost two hours ago, but I just finished processing my evidence and logging everything into custody. I desperately need a long hot shower now, so I head straight for the locker room and am surprised to find Catherine still there, sitting on the bench in front of her open locker. I pause for a moment in the door and then I notice that she is crying. Sniffling and trying hard to control her tears, she finishes changing her shoes and puts away her gear in her locker, slamming it shut and standing up quickly. As she pushes past me I reach out and take her hand.
"Catherine? Are you okay?"
She shakes her head. "No, but I will be." she says, her pain very noticeable in the tremor in her voice. I tighten my hold on her and after a little struggle pull her against me in a tight embrace.
"Cat, I know we haven't been friends, but if you need something, I'd like to help." I tell her and feel her relax against me.
She finally hugs me back and then says in a steady voice, "Thank you, Sara. It's nice to know I have people who care about me." then she releases me and pulls open the door, making a quick exit. I sigh and let her go, gathering up my stuff from my locker and heading into the shower stall. I feel much better after a long shower and just want to get home for a few hours of sleep.
The next night she isn't at work and I find out that Ecklie has suspended Catherine. Simply because a guy she met at a bar after work ended up a suspect in a case she had to work that same week. Okay, so she didn't tell Grissom and she really should have. The guy wasn't even a one night stand, he obviously meant nothing to Catherine and she was sure she could remain professional. Still, she should have known the suspect would use anything he could against her.
My whole shift I worry about how she is holding up, especially after Warrick tells me what Grissom said to her. To expect her not to have a social life, simply because it might at some point intersect with her career? Is he nuts? None of us could live up to that. Okay, maybe he could. But nobody human. After shift I take a quick shower and drive by her house to see if the lights are on.
The kitchen light is on, so apparently Catherine is up. I take a chance and stop by. Just as I am about to knock on her door though, I think about how insanely early it is and I get nervous. I turn and start back to my car, but the door opens and Catherine steps out onto her porch.
"Sara? Did something happen at work?" I turn around and shake my head.
"No, I just.... well, I was worried about you, so I thought I'd drop by and then I remembered it was really early for visitors, so I was just about to leave." She smiles then and shakes her head.
"Come on in, Sara." she lifts her coffee mug and says, "I just made a fresh pot of coffee. You can help me finish it off." I shrug and follow her inside and then into her kitchen. She pours me a cup of coffee and I settle in at her kitchen table.
"I heard what happened." I tell her as she sits across from me.
"Do you ever just get lonely, Sara?" she asks in a sad voice.
I nod. "Of course I do, Cat. We all do."
She looks at me for a long moment and whispers, "But you've never made a mistake like this?"
I shake my head. "Well, not yet, but, I'm human. Grissom is the only person I know who could live up the the standards he tries to set for us. This will blow over, Catherine. You'll see."
Catherine is quiet for a long moment, then she looks at me again and I see tears in her eyes. I don't even stop to think about what I'm doing. I drop to my knees in front of her and wrap her in my arms. I just hold her against me and let her cry.
She is sobbing as quietly as she can but I can tell her heart is breaking and I just want to make her feel better. I make gentle circles on her back with one hand, my other softly running through her silky hair as I murmur in her ear.
"You're going to be just fine. I'm going to take care of you." She relaxes against my body and her sobbing slows, then stops and she pulls away from me and whispers.
"Thank you, Sara. It's good to know someone cares." I take her face in both my hands and wait until her beautiful blues eyes connect with mine.
"I care more than you know, Cat." I tell her and wipe away her tears with my thumb. She leans forward slowly, her eyes never breaking contact, and then her lips are on mine, soft and sweet and it takes me a moment to kiss her back.
When I do, I hear her gasp and her fingers tighten on my shoulders. Her lips leave mine long enough for her to mutter, "God, Sara. I need this so badly." Then she is kissing me again and I take my time exploring her mouth with my tongue. The next time she breaks the kiss I trail my lips down her chin and her throat to nip my teeth very gently against her pulse point.
That draws another gasp from her and she tightens her grip on me even more. "Sara, wait." I hear and immediately release her and move a little away from her.
"Catherine? Are you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you." I start apologizing but she stops me with a finger across my lips.
"Sara Sidle, don't you ever apologize for kissing me." she tells me. I smile at her then and she says, "It's just that Lindsey will be up and getting ready for school soon. I really should help her get ready, but if you want to wait around and have breakfast with us, maybe after I drop her off at school, we could continue this?" her voice is suddenly nervous. How could this gorgeous woman think that I would turn her down?
I nod and tell her, "That sounds good. I'd like that." She pulls herself together and pulls out cereal and juice for Lindsey and makes toast for both of us. Just as the toast is ready, Lindsey makes her appearance.
"Morning, mom. Oh, hi, Sara. I didn't know you were here." she says as she pours herself some cereal.
"Your mom invited me to have breakfast with you two. That okay with you?" I ask her and she nods.
"Yeah, sure." She chatters a bit about school and her friends and boys that she thinks are cute. Catherine grins at me across the table and I give her a little wink.
"Would you like to come with me to drop Lindsey off?" she asks as they are preparing to leave.
"Yes, I'd like that actually."
The drive to school is more of Lindsey's updates on various friends whose names I don't recognize, but Catherine seems to know who they are. They chat and both of them try to include me in the conversation.
As soon as Lindsey is out of sight I get into the front seat next to Catherine and tell her,"Your daughter is a great kid. I can tell she is going to be a heartbreaker. Just like her mother."
Catherine looks at me carefully. "I'm not a heartbreaker, Sara." she tells me in a serious tone.
"I just meant... well you know, she has your looks and your charm and she is a terrific kid already. She is going to be stunningly beautiful just like her mother. That's what I meant." I tell her and feel myself blushing.
She smiles at me and says, "Looks like you've got your share of charm as well, Sidle."
We drive back to her place in near silence after that and when she has parked the car, she turns to me and says, "I didn't dream what happened this morning did I?"
I smile at her and shake my head, "That wasn't a dream. But, if you've decided not to finish what we started, I promise I'll understand." She is shaking her head before I finish my sentence.
"I haven't changed my mind, Sara. I think I'm just a little afraid that we might be making a mistake. We work well together. I've always felt like relationships with coworkers were doomed from the start. I just don't want to screw this up." I take her hand and look into her eyes again.
"Catherine, I'll respect your wishes, no matter what you decide. But can we go inside and talk about this some more?" Catherine agrees with a nod and we end up back in her kitchen with more fresh coffee.
She is quiet so I decide I will have to start this conversation. "I know how you feel about dating a coworker, Cat, but I think we can do this without messing things up between us. And if it gets too complicated, you can stay and I will leave. I can always go back to my job in San Francisco."
She smiles at me. "Are you sure you want to put up with me?" I take a moment to make sure she is looking at me so she knows I am serious and I don't break eye contact with her as I tell her in a serious voice.
"I'm ready for anything you are offering. I'm ready to deal with you, with Lindsey, with the rest of your family. I want to be part of your life, Cat, and I want you to be part of mine. I want to tell you all the things I've never shared with anyone and I want to hear everything there is to know about you. I want to buy you flowers and take you out to nice restaurants for no reason at all. I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know the real Catherine Willows and showing you who Sara Sidle really is. But I don't want to push too hard and scare you off, so if you aren't ready for this, then tell me now and I promise I will understand."
I could see tears in her eyes and I got a little nervous that I had revealed too much. She wasn't ready for me to have such deep feelings for her. Then I felt her fingertips brush my cheek. I lifted my eyes to meet hers and I saw hope and desire mixed in her eyes.
"You want more than a physical thing?" she asked softly.
"I want everything, Catherine. I want the physical stuff, but I want the rest of it, too. The good the bad and all the in between."
"With me?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.
"Of course! You are the most passionate person I know. I tried for so long to make something work with Grissom, but he has no emotional depth. He has little understanding of people. So if you are worried that he will someday take me away from you, well.... stop worrying. I'm all yours if you want me, Catherine. But it has to be your decision. I won't chase you."
She smiled at me then and said, "I hope you don't expect me to chase you. I don't think I'd know how to pursue a relationship with a woman. Especially one almost ten years younger than me. But, don't get the wrong idea, Sara, because I want this. I really do. I just don't quite know what the rules are for this kind of relationship."
I grinned at her and asked in a flirty tone, "Does that mean you've never been with a woman before?" She smiled back at me and nodded.
"That is exactly what that means. So, where do we go from here?" I leaned forward very slowly so she could pull away if she chose to and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.
"How about, we start here?" I asked and then kissed her again, harder this time.
She relaxed as I deepened the kiss and I could feel her body respond to mine. Her fingers were wound into my hair and she had thrown her head back to give me access to her wonderful throat. I nibbled gently at her earlobe and she moaned and gripped me by the shoulders.
"Catherine?" I whispered softly in her ear.
"Hmmm, what?" she asked as she roused herself from the haze she seemed to be in from my kisses.
"Where is your bedroom?" I mumbled against her ear as I unbuttoned her blouse with one hand, holding her tightly against my body with my other arm wrapped around her waist.
"Upstairs." she panted as I slipped my hand inside her blouse and let my fingertips graze her hard nipples. We climbed the stairs slowly, never letting go of each other. I kept kissing her and running my hands all over her wonderful body. She was exploring my body by then as well.
One hand had slid down the back of my jeans and she squeezed my ass hard and mumbled against my ear, "God, Sara. You are amazing! I want you so much!" When we reached her bedroom she led me inside and shut the door then pushed me up against it. She pressed her body against mine and kissed me hard.
"Take this off." she whispered, tugging gently at the blouse I was wearing. I complied and tossed the blouse into the far corner of her bedroom. Her hands went immediately to my breasts. She traced the outline of my bra with her fingertips, then again with her long fingernails. I heard myself moan when she bent to run her lips across the top of my bra line.
She unhooked the bra and let it drop to the floor and her eyes took in the sight of my naked breasts for a long moment before she dipped her head down and took one of my hardened nipples into her mouth. I couldn't contain the growl that drew from me and I pushed at her shoulders and whispered. "Cat, I need to lie down."
She stepped back so I was no longer pinned to the door and I took her hand and led her to the queen size bed in the middle of the room.
"Take this off?" I asked as I let my fingers trace the V in her blouse. She stripped it off slowly, watching my reaction. She seemed pleased to know that she took my breath away. I unzipped my jeans and slipped my shoes and socks off before pulling both my jeans and underwear to the floor and stepping out of them. I stood naked in front of her and felt suddenly nervous.
"I guess you'll want an explaination for all these scars?" I said and she raised one eyebrow at me.
"It can wait until later." she whispered as she lowered her mouth to my breast again. She sucked gently at my nipple and I felt my knees go weak. She sighed and pulled away to look at me for a long moment.
"You're more beautiful than I imagined, Sara." she whispered almost reverently.
"I need to look at you." I told her and indicated that she was wearing far too many clothes.
"So, does that mean you want me to strip for you?" she asked in a teasing tone. I felt myself blush and I knew she would know that was one of my favorite fantasies.
"Actually, I think I'd really like to take them off you, myself." I told her. She groaned as I slid my fingers into the waistband of her jeans and worked the buttons loose one by one. I unhooked her bra and slid it slowly off her shoulders and down her arms, letting my fingertips make a trail across her smooth skin the whole way.
Then I gently coaxed her into lying down and I peeled her jeans off slowly, then kissed my way from her ankles to her hips. Trailing hot kisses all around the lacy underwear she was still wearing. I tugged at the legging of the underwear with my teeth, then nibbled across the lacy thong until I reached her waistband. I hooked my fingers into the waistband and dragged the underwear off her hips and down her long sexy legs, throwing them over my shoulder and across the room. Catherine watched my every move with that intense stare of hers. Her blue eyes held a spark of lust and her breathing was labored. I lay my body across hers and our breast connected and I heard Catherine gasp aloud at the contact.
"God, Sara! You feel so amazing. So soft! God, I love this." she confessed. I kissed her lips gently until she tightened her grip on my hair and nibbled at my lips with her teeth, then I pulled away and nibbled across her throat and down her chest. I spent long moments worshipping her breasts before I kissed my way further down her body. Her hips were lifting off the bed by the time I reached the V between her legs.
I kissed the inside of her thighs and blew hot breath over her and she moaned, "Oh, please, Sara. Please. I need this."
I ran a finger along her cleft and groaned aloud at the slick wetness that I found there. "God, Cat! You're so wet! And you smell so good! I just can't wait to taste you." I whispered and heard her groan.
"Oh, God. Please, Sara, please." I dipped my head and ran my tongue along her pussy lips. She cried out and lifted her hips off the bed. I held her down and kissed my way all around her sex before I went in to taste her again. She was even wetter the second time and I dipped my tongue inside her and flicked it out and up across her clitoris before stiffening it and pushing inside her again.
"Mmmm, Oh, Sara! Don't stop. I need this so much, Sara." she begged. I raised myself on one arm and slid two fingers inside her, then resumed licking all around her clit and occasionally brushing across it with my tongue. I could feel her muscles tense up and she spread her legs even wider for me, so I gently took her clitoris into my mouth. I closed my lips around it and flicked my tongue against it over and over again in a steady rhythm while I kept sliding my fingers back and forth inside her. She wound her fingers into my hair and gripped my head tightly against her while she ground her pelvis into my face. I felt her inner muscles tighten around my fingers and she cried out and held my mouth against her tightly enough that I thought she would suffocate me. Then she released me and fell back limp against the bed.
"Oh, Sara! That was so good. Where did you learn to do that?", she asked.
"Are you sure you want me to answer that?" I teased and she seemed to think about the question for a moment and then shook her head.
"No, I'd be too jealous." she told me.
"You never need to be jealous, Catherine. I would never cheat on you. As long as you and I are together there will be no one but you in my bed."