Wow, I am so nervous… this is my first attempt to write fan fiction and in English…. Wow….

Yeah after over thinking about this for more than 2 years I decided that I wanted to share my story. Yeah this story is based in real life experiences. Of course I used S.M. characters (I respect her with all my being, she is my hero) but the story line is my life.

Not everything is real since this story has an end and mine doesn't … yet… but I know that is coming so please be patient with me and I hope you enjoy the ride and give strength to keep going day by day.

I hope you enjoy it and you will let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading.

CHAPTER ONE," THE BEGINNING AND THE END"

"Angela, please hold all my calls, I am not here" Bella said to her assistance/friend as she walk into her office…

"But Bella.., Jacob call..." she started to say but abruptly stopped when she saw Bella's sad eyes … "Are you ok?" ….

Angela and Bella had been friends for years but when Bella got promoted she offered Angela the job as her assistance, Bella needed somebody she could trust and that was Angela. They knew everything about each other ….well almost everything… and that was the reason why they were a great team.

"Yes Angie, I'm fine… come with me, please'….Bella said as she open the door to her office…

Bella left the papers that she carried around all day on top of her desk and sat on her big brown designer chair, compliments of Mr. Brandon…the company owner and the father of her best friend, Alice, (after Bella got her promotion he made sure that Bella had the best chair in the company…why? nobody knew why and Bella never asked since she was a little scare of him but Bella believed it was 'cause of his obsession with the movie Scarface since all the VP received the same gift with their initials engraved on the back of their chairs…weird)

Bella…? Angie said … Bella, are you ok, I don't think you heard a word of what I said", she looked at Bella with 1000 questions on her eyes…"I'm fine, I just had a little difficult meeting with Production and I just need to think of my plan of action for the board meeting on Friday…that is all" Bella replied but she knew that Angela didn't buy it…

Ok, whatever you say" Angela answered knowing very well that Bella was lying but bless her heart she would never push her friend to talk, taking a deep breath , she started again", I said that Jacob called saying if you could please try to be home early to pick up Matt since he will be stocked at work for another operation, Patrick from Saks called to confirm the meeting for tomorrow with Mr. Brant and Maral called saying if you could please reply to her email in reference to Janine weeding…. Bella please tell me you are listening to me….." Angela said very frustrated with Bella lack of interest …

Yes Angie ,I heard you" please call Jacob and let him know that I will pick up Matt, call Patrick and confirm the appt and please put a reminder on my blackberry and calendar… ahhhh… and in reference to Maral…. I will take care of that…." Bella turned around looking at her computer and entering her password bringing the screen to life, and kept firing thing for Angela to do" now I also need you to please ask Megan to give me the budget for next year fashion show, I need Heather approvals for the trip to Italy and also I need you to please try to get a hold on John, also call Jose and confirm the shipment from Japan is right on schedule ….and if you could please hold all my calls for the next hour or so will be great, I really need to work on this project for Simon… that will be all, thanks" Bella said as she started searching for Maral's email about Janine weeding.

No problem boss", Angela said as she walked out of the office, closing the door behind her and leaving Bella alone with her thoughts….

Bella really tried to concentrate and work on Simon's project, she also tried to read the email that Maral carefully explained the plans for Janine Bachelorette party but her mind kept wondering to the past, and looking at the beautiful framed picture of Central Park next to her phone.

Today was exactly 2 years since Bella saw him for the last time, today was the last time she was held by his strong arms, today was the day that she decided was the end …

Bella was pregnant and she had promised God that if she could be a mother she would give everything away even if that meant saying goodbye to the love of her life….

Bella tried so hard to concentrate on work and leave those feeling aside. She really tried to concentrate on the screen in front of her ...She needed to shake those feelings away …she needed to remind herself that everything was worth it, that her pain was worth it.

Mathew was everything she ever wanted. Mathew was the reason why she walked away from her soul mate and decided to stay with her husband and even when she had silently suffer her lost for the last 2 years she would do it again, just because of Mathew.

But Bella never stopped loving him, every day she would wake up and as she laid in bed she would think about him, about how her life could have been if she were with him, she would pray God that he was ok and then she would get up and face the world again and again.

She made a choice and she needed to leave with the consecuences.

"remember, always remember", those were his parting words . Words that hunted her every day since that dreadful goodbye.

Bella walked to the window, looked at the sky and cried, cried for him, cried for wanting something that she could never have….

Bella was the CFO of one of the most well-known fashion company in the USA, London, Italy and Paris….

Brandon's Design was a company that started with only 2 employees, Alice, Bella's best friend and designer and her father Mr. Brandon, a financial geek who believed in his daughter dream… and today is the largest fashion company in the world…. They were very successful, very well known and very expensive…

Bella didn't like what she was hired to do and she didn't like the people working with her but she needed the money since the last company she was working for closed down and she was getting married in only a few month and … well she needed the money….

Bella was scared shitless of her boss Fernanda, she was a very intimidated petite Colombian woman who made herself up from almost nothing; and she was the main reason why Bella learned so much about accounting and how to manage any company….who would believe if 12 years ago Bella would have said…"I will be the CFO of a fashion company"….nobody...Bella was an animal lover who never wanted to do anything related to numbers, discounts and taxes, who loved science and leaving in peace with nature …but life had a different plan for her far away from what she always dreamt about …

Suddenly Bella heard a knock on the door and saw Angela walking in" Bella, I'm sorry to bother you but I have a phone call from a gentleman who said is an emergency, I tried to take a message but he wouldn't tell me so I hung up but he keeps calling and calling…." Angela said looking at Bella waiting for an answer…."Angela please just take a message, I need to finish with this…."

But Bella he said that is an emergency" Bella scoffed …"Angela , Jacob is at work, Mat is with my in-laws, my parents would only call my phone… so anything else is not important…" Bella said with a very rude tone… "But Bella…." "But nothing, I m not here Angela" Bella said with a very exasperated tone, took a deep breath to calm herself and said "for nobody…."

Ok, Angela said as she started to walk to the door, suddenly she turned around and said..."Bella, he said it was about life or death…" Bella wouldn't let Angela finish," Angela, please leave my office and I repeat I am not here for anybody" Bella was very annoyed, no with Angela, she was just doing her job but with the fact that she could not say no to this person who kept calling…

Angela walked out of the office again and Bella was left alone with her sorrow….

A few minutes later another knock…Angela, I said I am not available' Angela looked at me and said 'Bella he would not take a no as a answer, he keeps calling, he told me to tell you that his name is Emmet McCarty and he is…." Bella didn't let her finish "where is he? What line?" Bella yelled … When she didn't answer Bella shouted …" God Dam it Angela what line?" She looked at Bella with tears on hers eyes…"line 3 Bella',

Bella felt bad, she knew that it was not her fault and since her office door was open she could see that everybody had stopped their activities and were very interested on their conversation … Bella was a tuff boss but everybody loved her.

She took care of them and they cared about her …nobody had ever seen Bella screaming and yelling, especially at Angela. It was a rare show and nobody wanted to miss it.

Bella knew that she should care but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt like she was having an out-of body experienced…

She could feel her body shake with anticipation, her eyes were filled with tears but Bella tried to collect herself before picking up the phone and asking" Emmet, is he ok? "

Bella couldn't even recognize her voice she knew that Angela was still in the office watching her very carefully, she could feel her best friend stare on the back of her head but she could care less.

If Emmet was calling her it was because he didn't have good news and Bella knew this was not good she could feel it on her heart…."Emmett" she asked again

"Bella, I am downstairs, we need to talk, please tell the security guard to let me in … I don't have good news and I really would like to talk to you in person …." Emmet said, "Angela, what is the extension for the front door security? Her tone of my voice was too hard but she couldn't bring herself to be polite right now….

After telling the security guard to escort Emmett to her office and Bella walked over to the elevators…

When the elevator door opened Bella was crying, tears of fear ….she could feel everybody around looking at her, wondering what was wrong … they have never seen Bella crying or behaving this way….they always saw the ice queen, always professional and never showing emotions …always correct and sure of herself …Angela told them to shut up and then walk to where Bella was waiting for the elevator to reach the 27th floor…. It felt like forever…. But once the door opened…just a look at Emmett's face and Bella knew that whatever it was he needed to tell her was not good, not good at all…

Emmett opened his arms and Bella run to him hugging him tightly… he held her for a while and then he said… "Please, calm down, let's go to private place, we don't have enough time and I have a lot of things to tell you" he put her down, Bella tried to walk towards her office but her legs were shaking so hard, they felt like Jell-OO, so Emmet just hold tightly to her waist and pull her towards the office, following Angela.

Once they reached Bella's office, she told Angela that she was not to be disturbed and closed the office door, leaving me standing next to our best friends.

Emmet looked tired, with deep black bags underneath his eyes and his hair was a mess. Emmet was huge, people always were scared of him because he looked so intimidated but inside he was just like a Teddy bear…

"Bella please have a sit" he told her and then walked to the floor-to-ceiling window in her office …he stood there for a few minutes, if Bella was somebody else she would think that he was just enjoying the view, Bella's office was located in the heart of Times Square, you could see all the billboards on Broadway, the New York library and the Empire State Building, and if you stretched your eyes a little you could also see the Central Park, but she knew that Emmet wasn't looking at all of this mundane things he was trying to find the words and courage to tell her the reason why he came to see her…

"Bella, no matter for how long I think of a better way to say this I just can't find the right words so …. Bella… Edward is very sick, he is at the New York Presbyterian university hospital of Columbia, and the doctors can't do anything else …. ' He took a deep breath and said" and … Edward signed the no resuscitation papers a long time ago …."

Bella could not believe what he was saying…her Edward sick? How when, why didn't he tell her about this….

She had so many questions.

She had some many different emotions going through her body… she could feel the tears running through her cheeks and her hands were shaking… Emmet took a deep breath and faced her for the first time since he walked into her office… he held her hands and said "Bella, let's start from the beginning …." And the time stood still…..

Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think.

Thank you