Pokemon Diamond & Pearl Super Mega Version
By: Lucas Smart
Authors note: I do not own Pokemon or its characters, animations, or copyrights, and all that other legal jargon.
Chapter One: Brock's Dilemma
"AHH! Oh my god!" Brock screamed from his tent. "Brock! Shut the hell up some of us need our beauty sleep!" Exclaimed Dawn as she rolled over in her sleeping bag. "Hey Don you shut up Brock can do whatever he wants cus, he is super smooth with the ladies" said Ash sarcastically. "Hey ass I don't see you putting on any moves for the ladies." Brock said as his eyebrows turned all diagonal shaped. " My name is Ash, ok Brock! Not ass. How long have we been best buds? Six, seven seasons? Right I mean you could at least acknowledge my name you dolt!" Ash yelled across the campsite.
"Sorry ass I didn't mean to offend you"
"Oh my god do you seriously just piss all over peoples mornings on purpose? Or is that just how you get off?"
(Dawn enters the conversation)
"Yeah Brock that was kind of a douche bag move right there."
"Ok whatever Dawn your just a stupid whore anyway I mean I've gotten better woman than you for a nickel," Brock said grinning at his last comment.
"Um Brock? All the "women" you got laid by were kittens, and not even Pokemon kittens just regular kittens, and they paid you!" Said Ash breaking back into the quarrel.
"Whatever ass, and they were chinchillas anyway, cus chinchilla's pay in cash."
"Brock you are idiot, you just proved my point."
"What point?"
"My point that you da ho"
"Yeah Brock Ash is right you kind of are the ho"
"Well Dawn your just a stinky girl, and you have coodies anyway,"
"Brock you are seriously a sex obsessed five year old," said Ash
"Um so what? At least I haven't been ten years old for seven years."
"Actually Brock I'm thirteen, Dawn is the ten year old."
"Yeah but she doesn't matter, it's not like the chicks last more than two seasons on this show anyway."
"Hey I am a great addition to the cast." Said Dawn breaking her silence.
"That's what May thought until we just ditched her on some boat." Ash said laughing to himself at the memory.
"Haha, that was funny ass, she was all like be sure to write. And you said you would but we all knew you wouldn't," Brock started laughing uncontrollably.
"You guys are a couple of Dicks!" said Dawn stomping back to her tent.
"Hey ass were is pikachu?"
"I don't know, but were are your eyes?"
" I don't know either! That's what I was screaming about earlier,"
"Oh well we should probably go find pikachu."
"I know ass, how bout we leave Dawn behind"
"Haha ok. She's a stupid whore anyway!"
Ash and Brock went into the forest and left Dawn behind. They told her that her whorish activities would attract swarms of beedrills. And since neither Brock nor Ash were not smart enough to bring Pokemon along, a swarm would be deadly.
At first Ash and Brock were looking for pikachu but it quickly turned into a hunt for Brock's eyes.
"Hello where are you my round friends," Brock said in a friendly tone.
"Brock what the hell? Are we looking for your eyes or your testicles"
"Heh, silly ass I have a huge scrotum, surely surpassing yours. There is no way I could possibly loose my balls." Brock felt around his pants just to be sure.
The day continued, there was no sign of Brock's eyes or his virginity for that matter.
"Hey Brock want to head back to camp, and pour a big ole bucket of rat piss on Dawn?
"I don't see why not!"
They both jumped into the air and gave each other a high five.
"Pi Pika Chu!"
"Oh hey Pikachu" said Ash barely noticing Pikachu had came back hours ago.
To be continued… Be sure to read, Chapter Two: To Protect The World From Retardation (omfg it has team rocket).