Title: Trust Me on This One
Author: Carlile (notimetoreconcileme Tumblr, CarlileLovesAnime ffnet & AO3)
Rating: Not quite M not quite T? T+?
Series: Katekyo Hitman Reborn!
Characters/Pairings: GokuTsuna; Haru
Genre(s): Romance, Action, Drama, Humor
Words: 6494
Summary: A word of advice: when the best friend you've secretly been in love with for three years calls you in the middle of the night and asks to be rescued from a bunch of drunk girls, don't get out of the car.
Warnings: Tone changes that don't make sense orz
Author's Note: Done for the KHR Secret Santa Challenge on Tumblr in Arc 3, for gokutsunaislove. Request: "I would want an M-rated 5927 (it can be angsty or fluffy) fic, art or fan video." Hope what you're getting is satisfactory (:
Disclaimer: Oh, fuck it. Buttholes.
0o.o0o.o0
Pressing the phone against his cheek, Tsuna bends his torso over his legs and cups his free hand around the other side of his mouth. Come on, pick up… He can hear every noise he makes echoing against the tiles, and hopes that the running fan and a quiet voice will keep everyone on the opposite side of the locked bathroom door from finding him.
Finally, on the last ring, an answer. "Hello," Hayato's voice struggles against grogginess.
"Hayato. Hey." Tsuna's free arm falls and curls over his knees.
There's a quiet "Tenth," and then about half a minute of movement sounds. He starts to speak again, a little more clearly this time. "Tenth, is something wrong?"
"Um, kind of," he says. Faint feminine voices on the other side of the door startle him, but they fade soon enough.
"What happened?"
Tsuna's stomach flops around. He tries to come up with a way to explain all this that won't be awkward, humiliating – flat out embarrassing. The search for more pleasant words turns up fruitless.
"Haru kind of kidnapped me," he says.
"What."
On the other end of the line, Tsuna can hear more movement. He elaborates so that maybe Hayato won't overreact. "It was, like, eleven o'clock, and I was just about asleep when Haru sent me a text, and I don't remember what it said but she and some other girl I don't know – I think she was a friend of hers from Midori – climbed through my bedroom window a few minutes later and now I'm at another house and there are, like, a dozen girls here or more and I only know two of them and they're kind of harassing me so I locked myself in a bathroom and now I don't know what to do." He takes a few seconds to breathe and ponder the agitated whooshes and clacks from the other phone. "Could you possibly come pick me up? Please?" he begs.
"Whose house, Miura's?" Hayato is fully awake, alert and ready for action now.
He glances around the bathroom, even though he already knows the answer. "No, I'm pretty sure this is not Haru's house. I have no idea where I am," he says, and at this he feels a fluttering sense of terror in his chest.
Hayato doesn't skip a beat. "Okay. Get one of the girls to tell you the address, and then text it to me, and I'll get there as soon as I can. I'm leaving now. I'll speed."
"Thank you," Tsuna says. He repeats it a few times to show just how grateful he is.
"Not a problem at all, Tenth," Hayato says.
For anyone else, it would be a problem, a mighty big inconvenience, to rescue a friend from a strange house full of horny teenage girls at 3:00 in the morning. But this is Tsuna. Hayato, his best friend, would do anything for him.
Metal keys jingle in the background on Hayato's end.
This makes Tsuna remember: "Whatever you do, don't get out of the car. I will come to you."
There is a slight hesitation, though it may just be him switching ears with the phone or putting on a jacket or something. "Okay," he says. "I'm hanging up now. Text me that address."
"Of course. Thanks again." Tsuna taps the End Call button and leans against the back of the toilet. He takes a moment to slow his racing heart, counting the large globs of stucco in the textured ceiling and running his hand over the carpeted toilet lid cover, but the pounding doesn't subside much.
He jumps when he hears one of the girls' voices through the door. It's an unfamiliar one, raspy and commanding. "Tsuna-kun, are you on the phone with someone?"
"No," he replies. He stands and slinks over toward the source of the sound, careful so as not to let his shadow show through the crack underneath. In his sweetest tone, he asks, "Could you do me a favor?"
"If you unlock the door," she says. He knew that was coming.
Doing his best not to scream, sigh or burst into tears, he follows up with another question. "Alright. But tell me. What's the address of this place?"
0o.o0o.o0
All he really has to know, Hayato finds, is the street where the stranger's house is located: it's the only house in the neighborhood with all the lights on inside. Two stories tall, with tropical-style landscaping.
He puts the car in park and pulls his phone out of the cup holder. Here, he texts. He has to wait only a few seconds for a reply. Ill be out rn.An overplayed song comes onto the radio, and instead of switching stations, he just shuts off the speakers entirely. He turns down the air conditioner, too. The engine quiets.
There's no movement in front of the house. He thinks about how eerie the concept of "inside and outside" is. How everything is calm while just cruising past or sitting in his car and observing, but chaotic on the other side of those walls.
Hayato realizes after who-knows-how-long that he's lost himself in his thoughts. He checks his phone to find no new messages. The Tenth still hasn't come. He looks at the digital clock on his dashboard. 3:23 turns to 3:24.
He said he'd come out "rn" – that means "right now", right? He sinks low in his seat, pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and glances out the windows from all angles to double-check that he's at the right address. He told me to stay in the car, but… He looks at the clock again. If he's not out by… 3:28, I'm going in after him.
Minutes tick past. The lights in the house don't darken. Still, nothing, no one.
He picks up his phone and sends another message to the Tenth. Coming?
Soon it's 3:30 sharp, and he's tapping his foot in anxiety, and there's no text back. He shakes his head, shuts off the engine, emerges from the car and slides his phone and keys into his deep pants pocket. He remote-locks the car on his way up the lawn.
When he reaches the front door, he retracts his hand from the doorbell over and over, as though it burns him. The Tenth said to wait in the car. Go back to the car. He can't just sit and wait, though. He figures the Tenth's safety takes priority over orders.
At last he steps forward and gingerly knocks on the wood. To an outsider the movement would look more like a muscle spasm. There is no immediate response. Not even five seconds later, he knocks again, much more forcefully. One of the girls pulls aside the curtains in the front window and peeks out into the dark at him. He can hear her giggling through the glass. Somehow, in this context, it is one of the most terrifying sounds he has ever heard, and he seriously contemplates bolting across the front lawn back into his car and locking the door forever.
But then his thoughts slow down. This is just some girl, right? Some broad? She and her friends can't be that bad. Besides, the Tenth is in there, and he is Hayato's best friend and boss and needs help.
Go back to the car, for fuck's sake. He shakes his head at himself, and slinks out of view of the window, flattening his back against one of the darkened brick walls. You're such a dumbass.
He has no doubt that she saw him, though, and it's proven when the front door thunders open within the minute. Two girls stare at him with wide smiles, and there might just be a legion behind them. At the back of the room, held by Haru herself, is the Tenth, disheveled and pale-faced.
Before he can react, one girl grabs Hayato's wrist and yanks him across the threshold. Another slams the front door closed. He's surrounded.
"Tsuna-kun, you never told us your friend was such a hottie," says a girl with pixie-cut hair and a carnivorous grin on her face. "Hel-lo, Glasses Guy."
"Nice to see you here, Gokudera-san," Haru says. An awed choir of Gokudera spreads through the multitude.
Hayato's eyebrows furrow. He surveys the small crowd around him. His wandering eye catches the Tenth, who tries to free himself from Haru's tough grip and mouths, "Help me."
"Um… Listen, signorinas," he says. He's doing his best to sound suave and under control. (He's not very good at it.) "I'm sure the Tenth appreciates your flattery, but he has a big event tomorrow, and would rather like to go back home so that he may sleep."
"Oh, yeah?" The girl in purple puts her hands on her hips. "What's the 'big event'?"
He finds himself frozen – for desperate inspiration, he steals a glance at the Tenth. All the girls seem to close in on him. He's at a loss. "A dentist appointment…?" Shit.
There are several confused looks. Haru, with her hands on Tsuna's shoulders, shakes him. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?" she asks.
Tsuna stutters. "Uh, ah, ah – yes! I do, and I'm per-for-ming-at-it."
One girl instantly pipes up, "I call bullshit." "Seconded," says another.
All at once, Hayato feels a presence grow behind him, and he's shoved a couple yards in the Tenth's direction, and there's a hand near his hip – oh, there go his keys, he can hear them being confiscated from his pocket – and two larger-framed young women take him by the arms and practically hold him down next to the Tenth and Miura.
The Tenth frowns and whispers harshly at him, "Un appuntamento con il dentista? Realmente?" [An appointment with the dentist? Really?]
"Ho provato," Hayato replies with a shrug. [I tried.] His heart starts racing for more reasons than one.
The girl in purple seems to be the leader, or at least the most vocal. "No Spanish allowed!"
"It's Italian," Hayato whimpers, but she will hear none of it. The two boys are led closer to the mass, and then released.
Haru approaches her old classmates, a triumphant air about her. "Told you I had attractive male friends."
The shortest girl in the bunch shuffles her feet side to side and claps her hands. "We are going to have so much fun tonight," she says. Many of the others laugh approvingly.
Hayato leans close to the Tenth's ear. Their eyes stay trained on the gaggle of girls before them.
"Okay." He speaks slowly, barely above a whisper. "On the count of three, I'm going to push my way around the room and grab the keys. You run to an outer room somewhere else in the house, lock the door and climb out the window. I'll meet you outside."
"Sounds good," Tsuna says.
"Okay. Okay. Ready? One. Two. Three."
As if their battle plans coincide, the second the two young men split up, four of the girls charge at Hayato and tackle him before he's even halfway to the car keys. Tsuna is quickly surrounded, forced to back his way up the stairs behind him. Hayato tries to push the girls off. One of them pulls hard on his hair. Another says a dirty word. Tsuna can only stand on the bottom step, stalemated, watching in horror as the crazy girls attack.
When Hayato throws a glance back at him, he grabs the handrail. "Plan B," he shouts. "Forget the car. Upstairs!" He turns on his heels and races up the staircase. The girls trail him like a brutish army. He hears thuds and skirmishes not too far behind him, but he has to keep moving. At the other end of the second floor, Tsuna runs full speed at a door, slamming his body into it. He almost breaks the knob coming in.
Somehow, Hayato is right behind him. The two of them are able to escape into the room before any girl can get to them – though it's close. They slam the door in one of the girls' face. Hayato holds his weight against it while Tsuna locks it and scrambles around in the dark for some sort of jamb. The two of them run to the back corner of the room and crouch behind what is probably a bed. All the girls punch the wall and the door and wail and protest and laugh and call their names. One girl shrieks, "You're going to have to come out sometime! Sooner or later, you have to eat!" followed by cackling. It's a hideous clamor.
"I know it sounds ridiculous, but this is the first time in years that I have been legitimately scared," Tsuna mutters, inching closer to Hayato. His muscles are tense, his heart is seizing.
"This is terrifying." Hayato thinks for a minute in the silence, doing his best to hold back goosebumps from the feeling of the Tenth's heavy breaths on his skin. "They're probably drunk," he says. "I caught a glimpse of some empty bottles in the kitchen. That could explain why they're acting this way."
"Yeah, probably," Tsuna says.
Exactly why I hate drinking, Hayato silently affirms to himself. The ruckus on the other side of the wall dies down; he can hear the girls walking away. He stands tentatively, squinting through the darkness. He spots a set of blinds on another wall. "We've got a window," he says.
Tsuna catches up to him, but when he pulls the blinds upward with the drawstring, they find only a single pane.
"Crap," Tsuna says. "It doesn't open."
Hayato shakes his head. "It's going to." He takes off his jacket and wraps it around his hand, wrist, forearm. He grits his teeth. He winds up for a punch.
"Wait, wait," Tsuna says, grabbing his shoulders, stopping him. "You can't just break the window."
"We want to get out of here, don't we?" Hayato asks.
"Yeah, but this is property damage you're talking about," Tsuna says.
Hayato scoffs. "Property damage. Shit." He relaxes his fist. "Who cares about property damage? A glass pane is very fixable. Besides, if you want to take crime into account, they kidnapped you, basically stole my car, and sexually harassed both of us. I'd say punching through one of their windows is only fair on our part. It's payback. Recompense."
"No punching," Tsuna says. Hayato grimaces and lowers his arm. Tsuna leads him away from the window. They sit on the side of the bed, and Hayato turns on a bedside lamp.
"Do you think we should call someone else?" Hayato suggests, but he knows it's out of the question. Half the people they know would never wake up to a ringing phone at this hour in the morning, as it is. Tsuna shakes his head. Hayato sighs, placing his elbows on his knees and forehead in his hands. Then he sits up. "Looks like our best option is to wait until the alcohol puts all of them to sleep, and then sneak out."
"Who knows how long that's going to take?" Tsuna says. Pulling at his bangs, he falls onto his back, shaking the whole bed. He stares up at the ceiling, or what little he can see of it in the one circle of light from the lamp. It's the same pattern as the ceiling of that bathroom.
"I'm sorry I dragged you into this," he mumbles.
"Tenth, I'm not mad or anything. I'd rather be in this situation with you than have you face it alone." His hand starts to slide across the comforter, toward the Tenth, but as soon as he notices he pulls it back. He propels himself to a standing position. From here he can see the Tenth's face. His eyes can barely stay open now that he's lying down and relatively safe.
Hayato begins pacing the room. "Why don't you sleep a little?" he says. "I can keep watch."
"No," Tsuna groans. But his eyes close and don't come back open. Hayato stands in the center of the room and gazes at him for several minutes, losing himself in watching the rise and fall of the Tenth's chest.
He surveys the room, listening for any movement on the other side of the wall. All signs of there being anyone else in this house are gone from this place. The corners of the bedroom are dark. He draws the blinds closed, sits on the edge of the bed, and observes the Tenth's tranquil facial features.
The almost overwhelming urge to touch him attacks Hayato with full force – he can feel it in his chest, his head, all of his muscles. He sucks in a breath and holds it, as if it will keep the temptation inside him. Then he realizes that the Tenth is asleep. His breathing is calm, his eyes are shut, he's so cute… And judging by how tired he said he was, he's probably pretty deeply asleep by now.
His hand moves on its own again, without full permission from the brain. He feels the Tenth's thick, unkempt brown hair under his skin. His fingers file between the strands. He runs them through until he reaches the end, then strokes it a few more times.
He shudders as he thinks about how long he has wanted to do this.
And it is not even anything, really. Just touching him and not being watched or judged for it, nothing to hold him back. Just his hair. His beautiful brown hair.
He sees the Tenth's opened eyes. Their gaze makes Hayato freeze.
There are a few seconds of silence. Hayato swears his heart stops beating.
"Are you taking a break?" Tsuna says.
Hayato hesitates, sweeping the room once with his eyes. He pulls his hand away from the Tenth's head. "Yeah," he says. "We're pretty safe."
Tsuna's eyes blink heavily a few times and close. "Then lie down with me, will you? You must be tired too."
For an instant, the thought flashes through Hayato's head that he should refuse – he has to keep the threat of the crazy, high-functioning drunks away, make sure they don't get to him, look out for him. But some circuit in his brain must be broken. Maybe it really is how tired he's feeling. Maybe it's the fact that the Tenth has just asked him this question, and the moment is a little more heated than any average one.
"Okay," he says under his breath. He complies, easing onto his side, careful not to touch the Tenth at all on his way down or once he's settled. Tsuna's eyes are closed again. God, it's not just his chest moving anymore – Hayato's close enough to hear, even feel the air moving in and out of his lungs. He can smell him. The distance between them is more intimate than Hayato ever imagined it could be.
He visually examines the Tenth from this angle. His eyes stop on the Tenth's face, its relaxed profile cutting gentle lines into the lamplight.
In his fantasy, he would lean in and kiss the Tenth on the cheek or forehead or tip of the nose, brush his knuckles along his jaw, and descend into sleep right at his side, holding him. Reality doesn't work like this, though. Hayato has learned this lesson the long and agonizing way over the last 18 years of his life. Running his fingers through his hair is the only pleasure he's ever gotten, and since that is done and impossible now, all he can do is stare through drooping eyelids.
"I love you," he whispers. The words just slip out. Tsuna's eyes fly open.
He recognized what he said as soon as he said it. Instantly, Hayato's embarrassed. Mortified, even. Shocked, like a stranger has hijacked his mind and is now working to reveal his deepest and most despicable desires. Deep down, he can't help but feel that the sentence was so natural. But this isn't the right time to say it. No time is.
"What did you say…?" Tsuna breathes.
Hayato grimaces. He definitely heard. Now he has to come up with an explanation, and damn, he can barely make sense of it for himself, let alone articulate it.
His breath hitches in his throat. "Tenth…" All rationality is lost when Tsuna's head turns on its side and his warm brown eyes charge straight into Hayato's soul. He gasps and lets the air back out slowly. Think.
"Tenth," he starts again, "I have a confession to make." It feels so hard to breathe all the sudden. "I've been. In love with you. For a very long time."
Tsuna doesn't have any visible reaction – at least not right away, and this scares the living hell out of Hayato. He notices only after about half a minute that the Tenth has a twisted, sad expression on his face. "Oh," he says, and that's all he says for what seems like forever. Oh.
"I'm sorry," Tsuna finally finishes. "I'm so sorry."
Stinging pressure races to the back of Hayato's eyes. He starts to curse himself internally. Why didn't he have more self-control?
"You don't have to apologize, Tenth. You did nothing wrong. It's all me." His voice is shaking and he can't stop it. "If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I realized my feelings for you years ago and kept them from you. I shouldn't have done that. I'm such a coward…" He forces his eyes shut and turns his head some other way for a minute. The image pops into his mind of what the Tenth probably sees of him now, and what he could be thinking of him. He's so weak. He takes some deep breaths to compose himself and gathers the will to look the Tenth in the face again. "But it's okay. You don't have to accept me like that. I'm fine with just being in your presence, anyway. My own emotions don't have to influence our relationship at a—"
It happens in an instant. His nerves don't catch up to what goes on until it's already done. When his brain registers that he's stopped talking, and that the reason he stopped talking is because something blocked his lips off, and that thing is still there and it's soft and warm and pulsing and – oh, God, the Tenth just kissed him. He's kissing him.
He tastes nice. He feels nice. There's no way to describe it, really. Hayato's eyelids slide shut.
His lips are released and the two young men see each other straight on again. Tsuna's eyes are piercing. They stab directly into Hayato's. His brow is furrowed. His voice is low and authoritative, a simmering fire. "Don't you think for a second that your feelings are not important. They are. You are, too."
At that, a crushing weight lifts off Hayato's shoulders. One that has been growing, looming since his childhood. He's important. He heard someone he loves say so in earnest, and it hit his ears like liberation. This has never happened before.
Now every ounce of self-control left in his body is just gone. Tears pool in his eyes and start to streak down from the corners.
"Tenth." His heart flutters. He's breathless.
Tsuna grabs the collar of his shirt with two fingers and pulls him closer, pressing his lips to Hayato's, each kiss hastier and wetter and more passionate than the last. His skin feels hot against the Tenth's. The taste of salt from his tears sneaks in. Tsuna's tongue races itself everywhere inside Hayato's mouth, deeper and deeper. The sounds of their hurried, muffled breathing and lips smacking at the littlest separations are amplified by the black insides of their eyelids. Without any warning to himself, one of Hayato's hands slides between the comforter and the Tenth's cheek and the other cradles the back of his head, where he can feel that beautiful hair again. Their whole torsos are right against each other.
Suddenly Hayato places both hands firmly on the sides of the Tenth's face and pushes him away. Both their sets of eyes open wildly. Hayato has to catch his breath for the better half of a minute. Tsuna's left to stare rather desperately at him. His lips are wet and slightly swollen.
"I can't take advantage of you like this," Hayato says. He frowns. "Especially not while I know you don't feel the same way about me that I feel about you."
"I never said that," Tsuna says.
Hayato eases his grip on the Tenth's head. "But you had apologized to me like you were rejecting me."
"That's not what I said 'sorry' for," Tsuna says. He sits up, holding his weight with one hand anchored atop the bed. With his other hand he pets Hayato's hair and brushes every strand of his bangs away from his face.
"You're not as awful as you think you are, you know. Lots of people love you. I love you…" He pauses a moment, Hayato blinking up at him – his eyes are more gray in this light, even through an obstruction like his thick bifocal lenses. "…Very much."
That's one thing he finds beautiful about Hayato. The fact that his eyes betray him. They're beautiful, but they always look so… lonely, desperate, guilty, tired. Just sad. Even when he's trying to seem happy. Tsuna's seen this deep sorrow in Hayato's eyes for as long as he has known him. He can't help but wonder what he thinks about, or what he's been through, that makes his eyes so irrevocably sad.
"I'm just sorry you didn't know that." He starts to stroke Hayato's hair again.
"I'm sorry I went all this time without noticing your feelings, or how much pain I was causing you by not acknowledging them. I'm not telling you no – that's not what I'm 'sorry' for."
Hayato can't even contain himself at the excitement. He stops just short of grabbing the Tenth by the face and smothering him with kisses, instead bolting up to a standing position and folding his hands behind his head. He begins to pace across the floor. The air becomes so heavy, he feels as though every movement, every breath is a struggle.
At the other side of the bedroom, he turns on his heels and faces the Tenth, who has quietly watched him move about. "Are you serious?" Hayato says.
Tsuna gives him an assuring smile and nod. Hayato's eyes become wet again.
In any other situation, he'd stop himself. He's read and researched everything there is to know about almost everything, including psychology, physiology, neurology. He knows people fall in love when they spend a lot of time together, no matter the nature. He knows people fall in love with the people who save them – transference, the Florence Nightingale Effect. He knows people fall in love because of chemical reactions in the brain, proteins and enzymes and electrical impulses. It's stupid, really, thinking love or any emotion is more than just some carefully arranged molecules. But it sure does feel like more right now. Molecules are shown as letters and numbers in a sequence, but they don't know right from wrong or pleasure from pain.
He lowers his arms to his sides and shakes his head. He exhales slowly so he can feel it. "Tenth, do you know how long I have dreamed about this?" A small, disbelieving smile curls his lips.
Tsuna slips off of the bed and starts tiptoeing towards him. "Hours, days, weeks, months, years – a lifetime, even," he says, though neither can tell whether he is talking about Hayato or himself. When he reaches Hayato and corners him and the tips of their toes are touching, he balances himself on the balls of his feet and cranes his neck upward and lays his lips softly on Hayato's. Slow and deliberate. Cautious but confident. His skin feels smooth. Their eyes slide shut.
He sets his hands on Hayato's shoulders, curling his fingers, then dragging them down the front of his shirt. They stop at the bottom of his chest, palms flat. The kiss breaks and they are left to gaze into each other's eyes from only an inch away. Their noses are touching. The tips of Tsuna's eyelashes graze Hayato's glasses; Tsuna takes one of the arms of his glasses between his index finger and thumb and eases them off his face. Everything turns blurry, but the Tenth's warmth is still all around him, his hands are still on his chest, his taste still tingles on his lips.
Maybe it would be better if he were blind.
He tosses his glasses away – they land on the floor with a crunching noise that otherwise would make him cringe –, claps his hands onto the sides of the Tenth's face and presses his mouth against the other with a hunger that has fermented inside him for God knows how long.
Every gear and wire in his mind seems to have shut down or shorted now. He compares the feeling to being anesthetized: he knows the pain is there, that it has been there and it's only going to be worse, for a while more or perhaps forever, but right now, the only sensation is a warm, dizzy numbness, and he doesn't know if he's alive or dead or ten feet tall. He has to remind himself to breathe.
Tsuna's arms are around his neck and he paws at his hair and the small of his back. His whole body curls against Hayato's, rubbing their chests together. His hands go everywhere and he's barely even conscious of it. Tracing his clavicle, feeling his firm pectorals, running along his waist. His fingertips dig into Hayato's hips, and he presses his abdomen against the other's again, and the kiss gets deeper – his tongue teases the back of his throat. The Tenth starts to move to the corner of Hayato's lips and his chin, his own lips so wet that it's as good as licking him.
The Tenth's head pulls back slightly and he gasps, his voice is low as he commands, "Take off your shirt."
Panting, Hayato blinks at him several times, his eyes bleary and 95% useless. "Tenth, are you sure you –" Before he can finish the sentence, the Tenth closes his lips with his own, slips his sweaty hands under the hem of Hayato's shirt and starts to lift it.
"Tenth – hey – aren't – we – um – I – you – this is – fast – Tenth – you – please –" He keeps trying to speak between smooches, but nothing can stop Tsuna. Even when Hayato tries to tilt his head back, the Tenth's follows it as they lock together; when he pushes the Tenth's face away, his counter-pressure powers through it. Hayato is feeling lightheaded.
His shirt goes over his head and it's just as gone as his glasses are. One of his arms goes limp while the other lays on the Tenth's back. The air feels freezing against his exposed skin. Tsuna's hands press against the walls on either side, closing Hayato into the corner. He pecks a line along Hayato's jaw. Hayato's mouth opens as if he wants to speak, but the Tenth nibbles a little on his ear and his breath hitches in his windpipe and he forgets what he was going to say. Tsuna presses sloppy kisses all the way down his neck, back up again. With his vision out of the equation, every other sense is heightened. His whole body feels hot.
Hayato screams, but it comes out as only a heavy exhale. "Areyousureyouwanttodothis?" The question runs from his mind out into the air, a horse without a bridle.
The Tenth's lips peel away from the base of his neck.
"Don't you want to?" he whispers. His breath is heavy and it raises goosebumps as the hot air hits Hayato's skin.
"…Yes," Hayato murmurs.
"Then why do you have doubts?" Tsuna rights his head and looks him straight on.
Hayato bites his bottom lip, a worried expression overtakes his face, and his eyes drift off to the side. "I just…" He knows exactly the thought – the thoughts – but he can't articulate them. I just can't believe this is real? I just don't think I deserve you? I just don't think we should go this far this soon?
Tsuna's hands fly from the walls to Hayato's cheeks. He pushes his head into a centered position. "You just what?" he says in his sweetest voice.
Hayato just gazes, lost for words.
Grimacing, Tsuna lets go of Hayato's face and stands back on flat feet, dropping a few inches. "You're such a cock tease," he mutters, but there's no anger in his tone as far as Hayato can tell, and his sensitivity to little nuances like this is considerably high. The Tenth takes a step backward, turns around and walks just a few feet further until his thigh hits the edge of the bed. He falls face-first onto it, his legs dangling off the side.
Hayato instantly feels guilty staring at the Tenth. He figures there must be something wrong with him – years of falling asleep with images of the Tenth in his head, and when the opportunity to take action is finally presented to him, he blows it. He's so dumb, so unconfident, so slow.
"I'm sorry," he whimpers.
He can tell from the quiet rustling of the comforter and the minute change in shapes that the Tenth has lifted his head. "I'm sorry too," he says. He sighs and rolls onto his back. "I just wanted to show you that you mean enough for me to do this with you." He sits up, resting his elbows on his spread knees. "I guess I came on too strong, though."
The corners of Hayato's lips sink just as well as his heart in his chest.
"It's me, Tenth, not you," he says in hopes to help the way they're both feeling. He shuffles over to the bed and carefully seats himself beside his best friend.
For a long time, they sit in silence, their thighs touching as they stare at the shadowed wall in front of them. Hayato can hear every little straggled breath that enters and leaves the Tenth's lungs, and the quiet little gulps, and the subtlest movements.
"I guess we both need to work on it," Tsuna says. His voice is quiet, but not defeated. It's optimistic, determined, earnest.
Hayato nods.
A few minutes later, Tsuna leans forward and grunts. "I'm gonna come," he mumbles.
Startled, Hayato stiffens his back and looks down at the Tenth. He still can't see anything but vague, fuzzy blobs of color that mostly blend together. He stands. "I'll get some tissues or something," he says, taking a step in the direction of the nightstand.
"No, it's fine. I've got it." Tsuna leans far over to the side and extends his arm, pulling three tissues out of the box tucked under the table lamp.
Hayato does not sit back down, instead getting on his knees on the floor in the general vicinity of where he dropped his glasses. His hands skim across the wooden boards until he feels the metal of the frames on his fingers. He grabs the arms and secures them back on his face, blinking through the lenses a few times to adjust to normal vision. He rolls back and rests all his weight on his calves, relaxing his shoulder muscles. He sees his shirt, rumpled on the floor in his peripherals, but does not move or turn. "Tell me when you're done and I can look," he says.
There is no immediate response, but in about 30 seconds he hears the Tenth heave a shuddering sigh. A couple minutes later, the Tenth says, "Okay. I'm okay now."
So he stands, turns – the Tenth looks disheveled, catching his breath – and approaches him. "Sorry I –"
"I've had enough of all the apologizing tonight," Tsuna says. "No more apologies, from either of us."
Hayato sits down beside him again and almost blurts out a "sorry", but stops himself.
Smiling, the Tenth takes Hayato's hand and rubs his thumb along the back of it. "Let's just get some rest. For real this time. Together."
Hayato reaches toward the head of the bed, pulling back the top of comforter, and the two of them crawl underneath it and lay it over their bodies. They move around a little to make themselves comfortable. Hayato, lying on his side, puts his arm around the Tenth's waist, and Tsuna settles.
It feels nice, holding him like this. Their skin touching. Their breaths intermingling. Not a care in the world.
Less than five minutes after shutting their eyes, the furious jostling of the doorknob startles them. They hear a man's voice on the other side of the door. "The hell? Why is this door locked?!"
Tsuna and Hayato exchange wide-eyed glances. Hayato whips the comforter off, leaps out of bed, pulls the jamb out of the way, turns off the lock and opens the door.
Standing there are one of the girls – one he does not recognize – she must have been quieter than the rest –, her eyes bloodshot and her face awash, and a rather imposing-looking man who, judging by the matching nose and jawline, is her father. The instant upon seeing Hayato his eyes widen and eyebrows furrow in anger.
"Keiko, you let a boy in too?" he says.
Before she or Hayato can explain anything, he shoves the door further open. It slams against the doorstop screwed into the molding. Tsuna sits up in alarm, and his eyes and Keiko's father's eyes lock on one another for a few agonizingly long seconds.
The father stomps his foot on the floor harshly enough to sound throughout the house. "Get out. Now." He thrusts his extended index finger behind him, his entire arm following.
Tsuna scrambles out of the bed and, grabbing Hayato's shirt off the floor, skulks past Keiko and her father, clomping down the stairs.
Hayato faces the man and opens his mouth as if to say something.
"—Do those car keys on the hall table belong to you?" the father says. Hayato nods and retreats down the stairs. He retrieves his keys and catches up to the Tenth.
"Still need a ride?" he asks. The Tenth meets eyes with him and nods. He hands the shirt over to Hayato.
The roads are just as dark, empty and eerie now as they were on the way to the party house. Hayato makes a turn along a curve. An acoustic guitar plays over the radio on low volume. The Tenth's resting his head on Hayato's shoulder, but his eyes are open. And about halfway to Tsuna's neighborhood, Hayato says, "You know, if you're not too tired right now, we could go back to my place."
Tsuna sits up straight, regards him a moment, and grins.