Shaking. He was shaking. Every inch of his body was hot- fiery, and the skin pinkened to mirror the bubbling rage just under his skin. This was something the dragon had never experienced in his twenty-four years of life- admittedly, he wasn't the most expressive man, or violent... But in this very moment, he felt volatile enough to snap a table in two.
Shigure, how could you?
Hatori had heard the rumors, the whispers and murmurs among the young maids that tended to the zodiac members on the estate. It couldn't be true, Hatori thought. Shigure was compulsive and vindictive, sure, but this... This was something entirely out of his league. He loved Akito, Hatori knew he did- so why would he...?
"Shigure," Hatori snapped, standing in the doorway of Shigure's home on the estate grounds. His things were already beginning to be packed away, messily thrown into cardboard boxes and strewn about across the floor. Even so, the dog remained in the center of the chaos, his expression something of anger (or was it sorrow?) before it twisted into a cheeky grin upon laying eyes on his special, little visitor. Shigure's facade was nothing if not consistent.
"Hey, Ha'ri," Shigure grinned, slipping his elbow onto the kotatsu and his chin into his palm. "Couldn't resist me for too long, could you?"
"Cut it out," the dragon snapped, his tone as sharp as a blade, silver and venomous. It was foreign on his tongue, Hatori often spoke in a quiet monotone- it was Shigure whose timbre could creep into this terrifying tone. Not Hatori. "Just... Just stop, Shigure. You know why I'm here. You know... You had to know that I would find out. How could you...?"
"How could I what?" Shigure spat, jerking his hand away from his chin, his previously jovial tone now just as vicious as Hatori's had been.
It caught the dragon off-guard, he had expected more resistance, but Shigure let his mask drop in the blink of an eye- it was jarring.
"How could I finally put my foot down? How could I finally call that petulant little brat out on his abuse and give him a taste of his own medicine? Is that what you're referring to, Hatori? Of course, I knew the news would eventually trickle down to you. Did you take me as a man who would be frightened of the consequences of sleeping with the object of my obsession's own mother? Ha! You're daft, Ha'ri, but surely, you're not that foolish."
Hatori took note that the canine's darkened orbs were ablaze, flickering and smoldering with emotions that swirled together and were otherwise indistinguishable. Rage, regret, satisfaction, fear... All were found there, in the sprawling abyss that was Shigure's dark brown eyes, and it was terrifying- this wasn't him. This wasn't the Shigure that Hatori had grown up with.
Something had snapped.
"You... You really did it, then? You slept with Ren?" Hatori breathed, his tone no louder than the flap of a butterfly's wings. It was hoarse, his throat dry and burning with bile at the repulsive notion. Yes, Ren had been a tad bit too touchy with him in the past as well, but Hatori always halted her advances. Why didn't Shigure follow suit? Did he truly wish to harm Akito that badly...?
Not even their broken, little God deserved this level of torture and manipulation.
"Of course I did," Shigure sighed, seemingly growing exhausted with Hatori's hot and cold attitude. Fishing around in one of the boxes, the mutt pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. It wasn't long before one was lit between his fingers. "Don't think of me as a selfish man, Ha'ri. She... Akito... No, he needed to be punished. His abuse has become too much, he is miserable. Akito took your left eye from you, Hatori- has it even healed?"
Reflexively, Hatori reached up to touch the aforementioned eye, his left- which was all but useless now. Hatori had hope by now that the vision in it would return, but it had been exactly three months since the Kana-incident, and no such luck. In all truth, the pain in his chest, the pain in his heart was insurmountable... Sure, his eye bothered him from time to time, but that paled in comparison to the heartbreak.
But... How could Shigure say he wasn't selfless? Did he think such an act was a form of revenge for Akito's rejection of him, revenge for Hatori losing the love of his life, along with the vision in his eye? Revenge for their pride?
"You... You cannot pin this on me, Shigure. I would never ask you to- I never blamed Akito for that, it was my own fault. I was selfish, and I was blinded. It was Akito who gave me the wake up call, she blinded me to show me true blindness, not the blindness I felt by being in love with-"
"God, will you ever stop? I thought I was the dog of the zodiac, but you always roll over for her the second she snaps her fingers," Shigure spat, no longer attempting to use the pronouns Ren demanded Akito to use. Who cared? It was only them here, they both knew the truth of Akito's gender. "You're like an obedient, loyal lap dog. All bark and no bite. ...But you'll never bite the hand that feeds you, right? You're less than a man, Hatori. You're pathetic. If you won't get angry, then I will. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of you."
Sick of me?
Taken aback, Hatori blinked hard, the smoke wafting and billowing around Shigure giving his expression an air of mystery. It was hard to see him, and not just because Hatori was adjusting to using only his good eye. His features were lax, unreadable...
Utterly terrifying.
"How can you say that to me?" Hatori murmured, as fragile as glass and twice as transparent. Taking a step closer towards the dog, Hatori slowly got down onto his knees in the seiza position next to the kotatsu. "Have you any concept as to why I am upset Shigure? Do you understand what it is I am angry about?"
This inquiry left Shigure, for once, speechless.
As if prompted by the silence, Hatori continued. "Shigure, I... I know what Akito has ordered. I know why you are packing your things. I know you've been exiled. ...And try as you might, I know it hurts you. I know you're scared. I am... I am angry, Shigure, because... Now, you're leaving me too."
Hatori allowed himself a pregnant pause here, to sharply inhale and collect himself. It wasn't his forte to express his feelings, but these emotions were damned near bursting out from his chest. He couldn't lie to the canine, not now.
"Just like Kana, someone I care about is being taken from me. You and I have spent nearly twenty-five years together, living just down the street from one another. What am I supposed to do now, Shigure? Where am I supposed to go when I need a smoke and a drink? Where am I supposed to go when I feel lonely? Or sad? When I need to just talk things out, or want someone to take my mind off the pain? I don't- I'm not even sure where you're going. ...And Akito doesn't allow me to leave the estate grounds often. When will I see you? How could you... How could you act so recklessly without thinking about those who care about you? You are not throwing this house aside, you're throwing me aside, Shigure. You made a choice, and it wasn't me you chose, or the companionship we've shared."
Of course, this revelation left Hatori feeling spent and exhausted, his elbows now on the table and his face hidden in his hands. Was he crying? Hatori didn't know, nor did he care. His best friend was leaving him behind- just months after having lost the woman he loved so dearly. This felt like a betrayal of the highest degree. Shigure was being granted freedom, the one thing the dragon craved so desperately. Hatori was angry, but more than anything, he was scared.
I don't want to be alone again.
It had been Shigure who helped nurse Hatori back to health; it was him who changed each bloodied bandage and kept Hatori's spirits up. Even when Hatori pushed him away and demanded to be left alone, Shigure remained steadfast by his hosptial bed, refusing to leave. Shigure had always been important to the dragon, of course, they had been together since birth- but after that incident, Hatori had become reliant on the canine, more than he ever cared to admit.
Shigure...
"I'm not leaving you." The words startled the dragon out of his 'cave,' causing him to look up from his hands. Shigure was standing over him, the cigarette now absent from his lips. Hatori glanced away, angular eyes glaring over towards his left- anywhere but at Shigure.
"Did you hear me?" Shigure asked, the question rhetorical as he knelt down next to the man he had called his best friend for over two decades. His heart felt as if it had been ripped in half; Akito could yell until the sun went down, but the ever so slightest waver in Hatori's tone cut Shigure down to size. He had never seen Hatori like this; not until Kana, and... Well, now. Shigure could take quite a bit, but this was something he couldn't bear. Hatori had always played as the strong, silent one... Now, here he was, crumbling sand like through his fingers.
"I said, I'm not leaving. Hatori, I didn't intend to hurt you. I made a mistake, alright? I'm-... I'm going to make it up to you and Akito. I promise. Listen, I'm not like Kana. Don't ever compare me to her. You can't get rid of me that easily."
That little joke got Hatori's gaze on him, and Shigure couldn't help but smile cheekily. Huffing dramatically, he leaned over onto Hatori, resting his head on the dragon's shoulder.
"I'm going to come visit you, alright? I'll bring scotch, lots of scotch, and your favorite brand of cigarettes. Maybe you could come visit me, right? You have to take some time off, Akito works you like a dog." Cue a little poke to Hatori's side, one of Shigure's trademark moves- and the thing that happened to irritate the stoic doctor to no end.
"I... I suppose," Hatori grumbled reluctantly, squirming away from Shigure as if they were seven years old again. "I suppose I could come visit when I have a day off, perhaps..."
"Good," Shigure grinned, throwing his arms up above his head and giving a nice, long stretch to his aching back. Hey- it wasn't easy staying bent over a desk all day to write. Rising back up to his feet, he extended a hand out towards Hatori, which he was pleased to see Hatori take.
"Now, are you going to help me pack all this up, or are you going to keep sitting there brooding, 'Tori?"