What Kate Should Have Said

by Nolathree

My first fanfic was about what Caroline should have said in response to Kate's breaking up with her at the hotel. This is the other side of the same coin and focuses on what Kate should have said after the exchange in the dining room. I mean no copyright infringement to the BBC or to Sally Wainwright. They own these characters and I am just gratefully borrowing them.

Immediately after delivering her fumble comment, Kate stood and left the dining room. She could tell she cut Caroline off at the knees with her remarks and she didn't have the intestinal fortitude to watch the devastation or wait for a response. But as soon as she made her way back into the lobby, the composure she exhibited while talking to Caroline left her and she crumbled against the nearest wall. She instantly felt remorse and wished she had taken a different tact but at the same time she was relieved she finally stood up to Caroline.

She made her way over to a sofa near reception and tried to calm herself and gather her thoughts. After realizing she needed to move before Caroline left the dining room, she tried to quell the gargantuan butterflies in her stomach while she rose and headed back to find her motionless at the table. Caroline was sitting with her face buried in her hands. She didn't hear Kate approach and only looked up when she heard the chair in front of her being pulled out from the table. Startled to see Kate taking the seat, Caroline just passively eyed her and waited for Kate to deliver what she assumed would be a final blow.

Kate settled into the seat and tried to find the words she desperately needed to get right. "What I should have said Caroline is that if we are going to make this relationship work, I need to know that we are equal partners and that my needs and my wants are as important to you as yours are to me," she said. She looked intently into Caroline's baby blues that were now tinged with red and brimming with unshed tears. She could tell how deeply her words had cut her. "I didn't' mean everything I said earlier but your pulling the idea of keeping the house seemed like a deliberate attempt to hurt me and like a veiled rejection of my desire to be a mum," she continued.

It was at this point that the waiter returned to the table and this time Kate ordered a cup of English breakfast tea. They sat in silence as he returned with the drink. Kate was thankful to have the tea to focus on for a few minutes as she gathered the rest of her thoughts.

But before Kate managed to speak again, Caroline found her voice although it sounded quiet and defeated. "I don't know if I can do this Kate," she said while looking down at her own cup. "At least not without you calling me on my mistakes. I've had 19 years of having to be more of a mother to John than an equal partner and I know I am massively out of practice at letting go of being in control. With him, if I didn't dictate what we did and when we did it, nothing good ever happened."

It was then that Caroline lifted her head to look at Kate's brown eyes and she was relieved that they suddenly seemed much kinder. This gave her the courage to continue, "Will you help me learn to listen to you and consider your needs before my own? I know I leave a lot to be desired and I don't do relationships well but I love you and I do want to change. You are my world and I can't lose you."

Kate was relieved to see a crack in Caroline's perfect façade so she decided to press a little further. "This isn't just about my wanting a baby you know. Are you ready to come out of the shadows as well? If we are going to be true partners then I want others outside our families to know we are committed to each other as I am too old to play hide and seek."

Suddenly a huge smile appeared on Caroline's face. Kate didn't know what it was about until Caroline chuckled and said, "Well that won't do. If we are really going to have a baby you had better get use to playing hide and seek as well as peek-a-boo."