I've lived with so much heartache in my life. I finally had something that made me happy, but I had to let it go. I'm not the one to toy with another's feelings.
I had dreams of us lasting, not like they meant anything to me. I knew we would have ended sooner or later. Our past was too much for us to deal with. We both knew that one of us had to let go, for we both knew that the feeling was gone.
I was the one who had to let you go, though I hated to do it.
Who would have known that I, Sakura Kinomoto, would be a breaker of hearts? The breaker of your heart.
I never wanted to hurt you Syaoran, but I couldn't let this charade hold up for any longer. We both knew that we weren't meant to be, and that it would only end up in heartbreak. We tried anyway. Tried so hard to make it work. There was no point to it. Trying so hard to make it work only made the tension worse. It only made it harder for us to break it off. It's so hard to lose something you've worked so hard to get.
Am I that strong? So strong that I can give up everything so easily? It's hard. Very hard.
Everything's just a mystery to me now. Why be in love when you are just going to get hurt in the end? Loving someone that isn't family or friend is something we all can deal without. We all are on the ground in the end, begging to God for someone to love them back, but when you find someone that loves you back, you end up letting them go. It's a never-ending process. Why put yourself through the grief of losing someone?
Here I am, the hopeless romantic, talking about letting someone go. That's my mystery. I want love, though I don't want to go through the pain.
Heh, my heart makes me laugh at times. Why won't it make up its damned mind?! Do you want love, or do you not want love?! CHOOSE ONE, DAMNIT!
Going over all these thoughts in my head, I realize how confused I sound. I had something so perfect. Why didn't I try? He was willing to try, and I wanted to try myself. But I never got the chance to try. I wanted to end it. I was going to end it. I had to end it. Otherwise he would have, and I'd be in more pain than I am now.
You were so easy to fall for. The perfect person for me. Someone almost like me. It's like dating yourself. It's really scary. We had so much in common, that we didn't stop talking about those things. It got annoying talking about the same things over and over again. We knew too much about each other. The mystery about each other's past was gone. Everything. Gone.
Oh well, It's just something I have to do. Get over you is the first thing on my mind.
That sounds too easy. Way too easy for me to do since all feeling has gone.
I hope we remain friends. That's the one thing I should have made you promise to me before I broke it off.
Forever is now, gone.
The mystery of Sakura Kinomoto. Why can't she find love?
A/N: hmm.. my thoughts about this. I guess I decided to place my own thoughts into this because I wanted to vent this out. Coming out of a bad relationship made me want to write this. I just wanted to put Sakura and Syaoran into this so I could conceal the identity. Oh well. I don't mind it anymore. I'm happy that I ended it. I'm free to flirt now. =)
chelsea ann.