Tegan sat alone in her dark walled bedroom, poking multiple tiny holes in her pop can with a sewing needle. When she completed making the bowl she sprinkled some of the weed onto it and held a flame and watched the green flick orange and sucked until it turned to ash. She let the smoke linger in her throat and envelope her lungs before blowing out and bringing the lighter up to the can to burn more. As Tegan inhaled her second hit she heard the front door open. She didn't worry, she knew it was Sara and knew that she'd probably be knocking on her door to come join her in her smoke fest. When Sara knocked on the door and entered Tegan still kept the smoke in her mouth and waited until Sara sat down on the bed next to her to blow out, away from her face.

Sara half smiled at Tegan and she handed over the can to Sara. Sara gleefully accepted it and let Tegan light up for her. They smoked 4 bowls before they decided their lungs couldn't take anymore and laid on the bed, staring at the posters Tegan had on her ceiling.

"What'd you do at Jane's?" Tegan asked, eyes magnetized to the smashing pumpkins poster above her

Sara just looked over at Tegan and smiled

"You fucked her, didn't you?" Tegan assumed

"Tee, it's so amazing. You gotta try it," Sara assured her

"I'm not gay Sara,"

"Stop denying it." Sara said firmly

Tegan was in denial. She didn't want to be gay, but she knew that only girls gave her feelings and that she was definitely not into boys. When Sara told Tegan that she was gay Tegan internally flipped out and questioned her own sexuality.

"Stop telling me what to do," Tegan replied hastily. She got up from the bed and started grabbing things she needed for a shower, pissed off at Sara.

Sara got up from her comfy spot and grabbed Tegan's shoulder and spun her around and firmly kissed her on the lips. Tegan immediately flinched back

"What the fuck Sara?!" Tegan rasped, and backed up until her back hit her door.

Sara lazily chuckled before throwing herself up against Tegan and sloppily licking Tegan's lips and shoving her hand through her jeans

Tegan tried pushing Sara off but she pinned Tegan against the door, and continued to swirl her tongue against her unwilling one. Tegan looped her hand around and turned the knob, opening the door. Sara stumbled and Tegan caught her before she had the chance to fall.

"Fuck, Tee, why'd you do that?"

"What the fuck is your problem Sara!?" Tegan screamed. She was still high and her body was shaking. She felt as if her knees were going to give any second

"Calm down, don't be so prude," Sara replied, finding this situation funny.

"I can't- I can't even believe you right now," Tegan said, shaking her head. She stormed into the bathroom and locked the door behind her before Sara had the chance to see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Tegan wiped them away and turned on the bathtub and stripped off her clothing before stepping in the steaming water. Her mind was flooding with thoughts as she reached over to the razor beside her and slid out the thin blade easily, thanks to the cheap brand. Tegan was one to bottle up her feelings and take it out on herself, specifically her arm, but it wasn't always this way. Up until a month ago Tegan told Sara absolutely everything. This all changed when Sara told her that she was gay. She wasn't upset at Sara, and she accepted her sister but when she began questioning her own sexuality and realized that she was gay too, she didn't want to except it and put up walls and shut everyone off and out of her head completely. Sara still tells her every detail of her life, and doesn't know either of Tegan's secrets.

After slipping on a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants, Tegan stepped out of the bathroom and tip toed down the hallway and was just about to open the door when

"Tegan!" Her mother called, from the kitchen

Tegan walked back through the hallway and entered the kitchen, where her mom was making some type of food

"You hungry? I'm making past- Tegan? Were you just crying? What's wrong?" Her mother saw Tegans red eyes when she turned around

"What? No, I got shampoo in my eyes when I showered,"

"Oh, I see. Do you want some pasta?" Tegan was always a good liar,

"No, I'm not hungry" She should be having the munchies…

"Alright, have you seen Sara? I bet she'll be hungry"

Tegan shrugged her shoulders and Sara appeared out of the hallway

"Yeah, I'm starving. What'd you make?" Upon Sara's arrival Tegan glared at Sara before quietly exiting and walked back to her own bedroom, taking off her pants and slipped in between the covers of her bed to go to sleep.

TEAGN POV

As I sit here in my bed, I can't help but replay the scene with Sara that happened less than an hour ago. I can't shake off the tingles I still feel and I can't stand the fact that I like them. I want them to go away but I don't at the same time. I squeeze my wrist and break the fresh wounds in hopes that it would distract me from my "Bad Thoughts"

"Shit..." I mutter, realizing that my wrist is bleeding pretty badly. I was just about to get up to find something in my room to wipe up the blood but there was a knock at my door. I quickly scrambled back in my bed and pretended like I was sleeping when Sara walked in.

"Tegan?" She whispered at the end of the bed.

"Tegan, I know you're awake, answer me."

"Go away," I replied

"Tee…" She weakly says before climbing onto the bed with me.

"What did I just tell you?" I said harshly, startling her.

"I just want to talk to you,"

"I don't want to talk to you just leave me alone!" I snapped, sitting up. I quickly looked down to make sure my blood wasn't seeping through the cuff of my hoodie, but it was so I positioned my hand to hide it from her unnoticeably.

"Why are you acting like this!?" She snapped back in a whisper, to make sure our mother couldn't hear us arguing.

"Acting like what? How would you feel if your sister came onto to you off guard? You can't- I can't even think straight right now I don't know what to say to you,"

"You don't have to think straight. You're fighting who you are and it's fucking you up. You can't change who you are attracted to."

My mind was swimming. Thoughts were filling my brain and I feel as if they're going to drown out of my ears and pour all over so to stop them I collided my lips with Sara's. It wasn't sweet or sentimental, I pushed on her lips with so much force that it caused her to fall back onto the bed so I was on top of her. I felt her grip my shoulders before turning me onto my back and straddled me, taking control and softening the kiss. I've made out with a few boys before, but this was completely different. It wasn't sloppy and she wasn't using so much tongue that I was ready to gag and choke on the saliva. It was skilled, and we moved out tongues in sync. I heard Sara let out a soft moan before trailing her fingers underneath the hem of my hoodie. My heart beat was pumping faster when she kept trailing her hand up and stopping to cup my bare breast. I was worried about my cuts and thinking about how wrong this is all while wanting this to go further. A quiet moan escaped my lips, when I did so I felt her smile against my mouth and she used this as a sign to slip her hand between my underwear. I accidentally let out another moan, but this one was husky and louder than the other one.

"Shhhhh!" She hissed, she then kissed down my neck and unzipped my hoodie. I wasn't wearing a shirt or bra underneath it. Sara wasn't playing around; she really knew what she was doing. I couldn't help but think how many times she did this with another girl to get so good at doing these things. When she slipped one of her long thin fingers inside of me I had to bite my lips to keep from moaning but this was my first time at any of this, and this feeling was just so foreign to me that I couldn't contain my excitement and let out whimpers every now and then. She proceeded to slid in and out and when she began circling my clit with her thumb my hips bucked with her hand. I let out another loud moan and I heard her moan out another "shhhh" before coming back up and kissing me to keep me from being any louder. I held onto her hips when the feeling in my core began surging with more heat. I accidently dug my nails into her hips when I experienced an orgasm with a contained moan. Sara moaned right after me and I dipped my head away from her lips and rested my head in the crook of her neck and shoulder to breath as we rocked our bodies together, fingers still pumping despite the fact that I already climaxed. I heard her let out a frustrated moan into my ear. I felt bad not giving her anything, but I didn't know what to do to help her out properly. I hesitantly dipped my hand in her jeans and just squeezed and circled her clit while looking up at the ceiling. I felt her knees shake and her hand stopped pumping in me and the rocking stopped all together. I felt a surge of confidence so I slipped my finger between her folds and sucked on her neck, surely giving her a hickey. Her neck was buried in mine as well and it wasn't long before she signaled that she was having an orgasm by biting down on my shoulder and groaning into the pillow. She collapsed onto me and kept her face buried into the pillow. I looked up at the ceiling as we both panted, chests moving frantically up and down against each other. I heard Sara start to wheeze and I silently panicked for a second and asked her if she needed her puffer. She declined before peeling herself off of me. I sat up, zipping up my hoodie and awkwardly fiddled with the blanket and waited until she said something.

"You're gay." She stated. She said it as a fact, not a question.

I nodded my head biting my lip nervously while looking up at her. She smirked at me before walking out the door and shutting it behind her. I sat there frozen until I heard her door at the other end of the hall close.