Authors Note: Thanks to everyone that has reviewed my story
Authors Note: Thank you PainOfLosingYou and I Love Werewolves for reviewing my last story. It was very helpful to me to hear what everyone had to say. It's helped me with more ideas for Outsiders one-shots in the future. Or any other one-shots that I plan to do. By the way go and check out my friend, musicalpickle. She has some great stories!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. They belong to Stephenie Meyer. I however do own the original character in the story.
No one knew what it's like to be me. No one knew how it felt to love someone with all your heart and not have them love you back. To see the smile every time he mentioned her! To see him talk to her and worry about her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered to him.
It hurt me inside everyday to see that. I wanted so badly for him to feel the same way he felt about me that he felt for her. But I knew that would never happen. He would always be there for her. Not Me, HER!
Sometimes I just wish that she would disappear of the face of the earth. So I could have him to myself. I just want her to be gone. Forever. She just makes it that harder for me to have what I can't have while she's around.
Why would he want her anyway? She's pathetic. She already has someone out there waiting for her, if he ever comes back to Forks. She has no feelings for my love, just the one that left her. He should know that already.
In my own life, I'm being more depressed and angry. All these questions swirl through my head. How could he not love me? How could he want her? How could he not see that I was the one that truly loved him, not her? How could he not see that she did not love him, she longed and loved someone else? I need him to the point, which I scream out in pain when I can't see him. I cry, beg and plead, why doesn't he want me? What's wrong with me! I need him. Without him I'm nothing. He keeps me sane; he keeps me from killing myself. Yet, he hasn't come to rescue me from this pain that I feel inside. He's too busy making sure that she is okay. Making sure that she doesn't hurt herself.
Why can't he be there for me? Protect me the way that he protects her. Love me the love that he shows's her. Makes sure I don't hurt myself, like he make's sure she doesn't hurt herself. I'm the one that needs protecting. I'm the one that needs the love. I'm hurting, just as much as she's hurting. I'm the one that's yearning for the one that I truly love.
I'm the one that needs him. Can't he see that? Everyday my heart breaks just a little more every time I see them together. Every hug that he gives her breaks my heart a little more. Every smile that she get's makes my heart break a little more. Does he realize the pain that it cause me everytime I see them together? Doesn't he realize I yearn for him, to hug me, to smile at me the way he does her? Can't he see that?
But now, now it's too late for apologies. It's too late to take back the pain that he has caused me. The heart break that I have endured for so long. The torture of seeing them together. I can't take it anymore. My heart has finally shattered at last. I can no longer take the pain that I have endured for so long. I have reached my breaking point. I can't take it being around a place that has so many things that remind me of him. I just need to get out of this place.
That's why I'm getting out of here. I'm going to make him regret ever forgetting me. I'm going to make him regret not spending enough time with me. He'll never will be able to get over the pain that he has caused me. But before he has a chance to fix things. I'll be gone. Permanently. He won't have to worry about me anymore. He will not have to make sure that I'm okay. That I won't hurt myself.
I'm too damaged to go one like this. I'm too hurt to live my life too the fullest. I'm sick and tired of everything around here. It brings back too much memory and too much pain.
As I get closer and closer to the edge. Before I take that final plunge off the face of the earth. Let it be known. That I hate, Jacob Black. He doesn't care for me anymore. He doesn't need to come and help me anymore. He doesn't have to come and care for me like he does for her. I'll be gone before you know it. Jacob Black will regret the day that he ever forgot me.
Because before he knows it, I'll be swimming in the black abyss. I'll be gone before he knows it.
Thanks for reading my story! Reviews and critiques are welcomed!
