A/N: This has been sitting in my WIP folder for like a year so I figured I would finally finish it. I wanted to write something for them because these two gay old men are ruining my fucking life.

Title taken from "Love Me Dead" by Ludo.

"I don't care about you anymore".

The words came as a shock to Archie, but he had to remain composed in front of his team, who stood behind him silently. They glanced around, giving each other odd looks, attempting to decipher what those words meant coming from Maxie's mouth.

Without thinking Archie sputtered out, "Well, good! I never cared about you at all!" His words weren't true and it hurt to even think such an idea, but there was no way in Hell Maxie was going to get the upper hand. If they were fighting to be the most cold-hearted, Archie could ignore his feelings and freeze his heart into the arctic. He doubted Maxie's words, but, at the same time, he was afraid he was as serious as he let on.

Maxie turned and took his leave without glancing behind him as Archie stood frozen. He jumped when he felt someone tap his shoulder, spinning around to see Shelly with her hands on her hips, giving him a look that meant trouble.

"What the hell was that!?" She demanded, more out of shock than anything.

Archie pushed past her, ignoring her protests, and started to trek back to their base, seemingly oblivious to the hushed whispers from behind him. There wasn't a single person he wished to talk to on the subject of what just happened, especially not Shelly.

Upon arriving at the Aqua headquarters Archie commanded his team to return to their assigned activities while he locked himself in his captain's quarters, electing to take a nap and clear his mind. He was abruptly woken some time later by a curt knock on his door. He opened his eyes in time to see a sheet of paper pass under the door. He got up, rubbing his eyes, and retrieved the paper, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness before reading. The note was written in a familiar curvy handwriting.

Slateport Pier. 24:00

Confused, he pocketed the note and glanced at his watch. He had slept until 11, leaving him about an hour to make himself look presentable and travel to Slateport, which wasn't too far from the current location of their headquarters.

After taming his beard, which had recently become what could only be described as a wild mess, he grabbed his pokéballs and set out, choosing to walk rather than fly. The refreshing feeling of the wind on his face and the smell of the sea allowed him to calmly reflect on what Maxie could possibly want, especially after whatever the hell had happened earlier. He breathed in, taking in his surroundings. As he approached the pier he noticed a familiar silhouette on the edge, staring out at the open sea.

"So you came," Maxie said, though he gave no other hints that he acknowledged Archie's presence, continuing to stare ahead, "I almost doubted you would show up."

Archie looked at his watch, put off by Maxie's comment, "I'm early. How the hell did you already come to that conclusion?"

Maxie turned around, shifting his gaze to meet Archie's directly, "You're a stubborn man, Archie. I wasn't sure you would be able to put aside your pride, especially after the spectacle we made earlier. You seemed pretty pissed off, dare I say, even upset." He smirked, "Unless you were telling the truth- I know I was."

With a sudden spark of anger Archie reached forward and grabbed Maxie by the collar of his stupid turtleneck and closed the distance between them, until they were standing almost nose-to-nose, "If you were telling the truth, then why the fuck would you have called me out here tonight? To have a chat about what we used to be? To play with my fucking feelings?" He spat on Maxie's shoes, glaring up at him and letting him go, "You're a real asshole, ya know that?" Deflated, Archie turned and started back down the pier.

"And you're an idiot," Maxie's voice wasn't particularly loud, but it carried down the pier well enough.

Archie stopped in his tracks, waiting.

The sound of shoes on pavement was quiet but to Archie it felt like he could hear his heart beat loudly in his chest with every step.

The sounds stopped and he could feel warm breath tickling the back of his neck, "You're the biggest idiot I've ever met," Maxie lamented quietly, "but it really adds to your charm."

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, sending chills up his spine that had nothing to do with the chilly breeze coming from the sea.

"To be honest, I wish I didn't care about you. My personal endeavors would have succeeded by now if it weren't for you- I could easily have had Groudon by now. Since I've known you, you have made every step I take difficult. Whether it be because you are actually in my way and trying to stop me or because you're on my mind, clouding my judgement, I can't get anywhere with you in my life. That being said, I also am incapable of getting anywhere without you in my life, and I despise you for that."

Archie turned around to stare Maxie in the eyes, only to be suddenly met with Maxie's fist in his face. He backed away slowly, massaging his nose and cursing audibly when he removed his hand and saw blood. Before he had the chance to retaliate Maxie grabbed his collar with both hands and pulled him forward, slamming his lips into Archie's. Archie's nose ached and he desperately wanted to pull away from the embrace to handle his most likely broken nose; however, he responded to the kiss with more enthusiasm on his end, until he was forced to pull away for air.

A grin spread across Maxie's face as he wiped Archie's blood, which had trickled down during the kiss, from his lips.

Archie rolled his eyes, "You're a fuckin' asshole, ya know that?"

"Nice nose-job!" Maxie shouted as Team Aqua approached, the rest of his team snickering around him, "Give my compliments to whoever gave you that."

Archie rolled his eyes and shouted back, "Go fuck yourself!"