Title: Come On Get Higher
Title: Come On Get Higher
Disclaimer: Lyrics belong to Matt Nathanson. Characters belong to Joss Whedon et al, the words are mine.
Summary: We never really saw Angel's full reaction to Buffy's death. Here's how I would've liked to see it go.
A/N: I'm back! Finally starting to write again so pleeeease read and review. Enjoy!
I miss the sound of your voice
I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence as you breathe out and I breathe in
I wasn't there. She told me…and I wasn't there.
She called. Of course I wasn't there and the machine picked it up. "Angel…it's me. I don't know how much of this you already know but the big bad's coming again. Glory's going to open her portal and Dawn is the key to close it. And I have to figure out how to stop it. Again. And I know we don't say goodbye because with us…there is no end. But I had to tell you I love you. No matter what happens tonight…I'm still yours. Always."
If I had been here, if I had gotten the message, I would have been there as fast as humanly possible. I would have jumped in my car and broken all traffic laws to get to her because she was right. We don't say goodbye. And I knew…I knew as soon as I got the message, before Willow even told me…that she was gone. Buffy would protect Dawn with her life.
But I was at the bottom of the fucking ocean. And she jumped. She jumped and she fell, fell, fell. And I wasn't there to catch her. I always catch her.
Buffy was my guidepost. She gave my unlife some semblance of meaning because I knew that someday, somehow, we could be together. If there was no possibility of that…what were we fighting for? Without her…I can't go on.
So for the first time in over two hundred years, with the exception of our day that wasn't, I am rising with the sun, to face it. I stand at the top of our hill, overlooking Sunnydale, where I attempted this the first time. Her voice rings in my ears…strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's everyday…we can do it together…and as the sun makes it's first appearance over the city, I can feel her watching me, and this time she can't tell me to fight. She doesn't have to. I gasp.
My heart leaps in my chest and starts to beat. My fucking dead heart in my dead chest…except now it's not. Buffy's heart beats in me, her life is mine. Without even being here, she manages to prove to me that some things are still worth fighting for. I don't know what they are. But Buffy does. And I'm sure as hell not going to let her down.