Fic Title: Full Circle
Authors: April & Julia
Category: House (Huddy, Wilson/OC)
Feedback: PLEASE (It's our first co-attempt, my first House attempt.)
Archive: Not yet
Rating: PG (mild language)
Disclaimer: Usual applies here. Jackie & kids belong to us.
Summary: House & Wilson spend the night turning in circles.
Lisa Cuddy looked up from her work in time to see Greg House come in with Chinese food. "Ooh…" She moved, grabbing the bottle of wine she kept with her Tylenol and checking in the bags. "Orange chicken…rice…egg rolls…fortune cookies…" She studied him. "What did you do?"
House put on a mock shocked expression. "Who me?" He took a box of orange chicken. "I can't believe you would think so little of me."
"I think a lot of you...just don't let it get around." She knew it was too late though. Everyone in the hospital knew she was too lenient with him most of the time, but no one knew what had happened over the past few months, since his latest near-death experience. She poured the wine and took one of the egg rolls. Greg pulled a chair closer to him with his cane and sat down. He accepted a glass of wine from her and started on his chicken, his attention focused completely on the food. "Anything I need to know about with today's case?" She'd long since broken her rule about mixing work and their relationship.
He shook his head without looking at her. He swallowed and then said, "It was cancer after all," and then, sarcastically added, "Nobody even punched me today."
"What a shame. I know how hard you work at being an ass," she teased him.
"It's why you pay me, isn't it?" He took an egg roll.
She studied him. "I could bribe one of your team to tell me what's going on, but, quite frankly, I just don't have the time. Why don't you tell me, save me the trouble?"
House stirred his chopsticks in his chicken and sighed, seemingly annoyed. "The father was being an imbecile, but that's pretty normal." He picked up his chopsticks again and examined them.
"Yeah." She was torn between trying to distract him and listening to the story. "Is that all?"
House seemed to be struggling with something, as if he didn't quite know how to phrase himself. "The kid, the girl, she said something that…that made…" He paused. "She thought she was going to die. She said to me…she said she had come full circle." He looked at her. "What does that even mean?"
Cuddy looked away briefly. Kids dying was a sensitive subject with her, probably because she wanted one of her own so badly. She turned back to him. "Most people think of life as a circle. Childhood and dementia are so much alike that they echo each other. People consider birth and death the same thing." She shook her head. "It never made sense to me either."
House frowned. He seemed to be storing this information somewhere in his mind. "Maybe we are going around in circles." His voice was soft, unlike him, his eyes very blue in the evening light. He picked up another piece of chicken. "Or maybe it's just chaos."
"Why can't it be both?" She studied him, the soft, kind look in her eyes that made her look much younger.
"We are going around in circles because of all the chaos in the world?" He asked, more to himself than to her. He tapped his chopsticks on the desk absently. "We all have our own circles that…interlock with everyone else's, everybody else's lives." He meshed his fingers together and then pulled them apart, going back to his chicken.
"I had an idea today."
"Hmm?" His mouth full of chicken.
"Why don't we go down to Atlantic City tomorrow? Stay for the weekend. You're through with your clinic hours, don't have a new patient…I moved my last meeting for the week to tonight, so unless something big happens…"
"What would we do in Atlantic City?" There was an unveiled suggestion in his voice.
"There's a lot of things we could do. We could gamble, I could go to the beach…if nothing else, we could get away from here for a little while. You haven't had a day off since…" She stopped, not liking the memory that sprang to mind of him in the hospital bed after he'd electrocuted himself and had a heart attack.
He looked straight at her with his blue gaze. "Since the Bus Accident." You could hear the capitalization.
She neither confirmed nor denied, but the stress came back to her face. "It'd be good to get away."
He nodded. "To break from our circle." They were both silent for awhile.
She moved to sit beside him, taking his hand. "So you'll come with me?"
He studied her, his eyes roving over the delicate bones of her face. He brought her hand to his lips and kisses her palm. "Of course, I'll come with you," he said, no mockery in his voice.
She smiled. "And maybe we'll see if you can climb the staircase." There was an old adage some heart doctors used that their patients couldn't make love until they could climb a staircase. In his case, it was easier said than done.
He cocked his head to one side. "I can climb a staircase. I could show you right now, if you like." He was smiling now with a very familiar look on his face.
"I don't know…seems like a lot of work to me…don't know if you can handle it," she teased, liking the relaxed look on his face that had returned.
This time, instead of a comeback, he simply leaned forward and kissed her, the best comeback of all. She leaned into the kiss, very warm, familiar feelings stirring in her. His hand came up to cup her face, his fingers in her hair.
Jacqueline Foster was more than looking forward to seeing her two best friends again. She'd arrived for her 'job interview' with Cuddy dressed rather casually, her long black hair in a braid behind her head, black slacks and a white shirt that fit her in all the right places, what little makeup she wore accentuating her features rather than hiding them. She'd dropped by fifteen minutes early, hoping they could talk a little, since there seemed to be no time for either of them anymore. When she opened the door and saw House and Cuddy kissing, such an intimate moment, she was torn between backing up and waiting until the right time and clearing her throat, the latter of which she did.
House pulled away and looked at Jackie. He had a very comical expression on his face that was increased tenfold by the lipstick on his mouth.
"Not quite your shade," she said dryly, not trying to hide her disapproval of House himself, much less the combination of him with her best friend.
"Jackie, you're early," Cuddy stood, trying to make herself presentable.
"I thought we could talk. I see you're busy." She started to say something to House but was interrupted.
"We're not busy," House piped, having made zero effort to clean his face. "In fact, you can join in if you want. I know how much you enjoy other people's business."
The look on Cuddy's face was bad enough after his comment, but she was rendered speechless after Jackie's. "I'm surprised you're with Lisa. I hear you usually only get 'busy' with other people's wives and girlfriends. Oh, or two-bit hookers."
"What's the matter?" He asked, his eyes shining with apparent glee. "Jealous? Did Wilson get drunk again?"
"No, not since you killed his girlfriend." Her eyes blazed, her protective or 'mama bear' side as Cuddy and Wilson affectionately called it, in overdrive due to recent events House had put in effect.
Cuddy closed her eyes. "Jackie…" She finally spoke up in a warning tone.
House stood up suddenly but the effect was ruined as he had to grab Cuddy's desk to steady himself. Cuddy moved quickly, her eyes on House, terrified, as she always was when he sneezed, much less had something serious happen to him. "Are you okay?" She whispered, trying to search his eyes, missing the look of remorse that flashed across Jackie's face in one instant.
A look of annoyance flickered across his features. He shook Cuddy off and reached for his cane. "I'm fine." Then, seemingly halted by his conscience, he squeezed her hand. "I'll call you," he said bluntly. With one last look of contempt for Jackie, he limped out the door.
"I'm sorry," Jackie said, not sure if it would be received by her friend or not. "That was probably out of line."
Cuddy pinched the bridge of her nose, not angry, just tired. "It was his fault as much as yours."
"I shouldn't have said that about Amber though. He just…It's something about him. Whenever he's around, I can't shut my mouth." She looked at her friend. "I wish I could, I really do." All the years of arguing, mostly about his treatment of their mutual best friends, weighed out whatever fondness they might have had for each other.
"It's a vicious circle," Cuddy said absently. She looked up at Jackie who looked visibly uncomfortable. Not wishing to dwell, Cuddy said, "How have you been, Jackie?"
"Great. The clinic's doing really well. The kids are perfect. I have new pictures." She tried her best to keep the godmother of all four of her children supplied in pictures.
The two women settled on Cuddy's couch and admired pictures of Jackie's children, Henry with his blonde siblings, the twins and Wilson, smiling like a fool, Maddie with heart shaped sunglasses.
James Wilson had a horrible headache. He loved his children with all his heart and he loved Henry like he was his own, but he wasn't used to all the noise, the twins crying, Henry playing soccer with an imaginary ball, Maddie singing a lullaby at the top of her lungs, trying to soothe her siblings above their cries. He missed Jackie, wanted her there. The Chinese he'd ordered to celebrate her new job had gone missing at work so he'd ordered pizza for the kids and was currently trying to both cook and hold Gaby, one of the twins.
House approached Wilson's door. He could hear a baby crying and someone singing very loudly, very off key. When he knocked, there was no answer, but the door was unlocked so he went in anyway, only to have something blonde and solid catch him around the knees. Maddie looked up at him and then continued on her way, still singing, out the door, Wilson and Henry not seeing her. House stuck out his cane at the girl's waist level to slow her before scooping her up on his hip. Maddie looked at him in surprise. "Unca Greg," she said. 'Unca' Greg raised an eyebrow at her, but said nothing.
He carried her inside into Wilson's apartment. Evidently he had been right about the chaos. He turned to look at Wilson's blonde daughter. "Your daddy's not very good at this, is he?"
The girl smiled at him. "Nup."
Wilson turned when he heard Maddie stop singing. "Madeline…" Jackie had just taught her hide and seek and she had played that time more times than he cared to count just since they had been dropped off. He turned the fire down lower and went to look. "House." He tried to keep the surprised look from his face, both at his friend being there and the careful way he was holding the little girl.
House took in Wilson's disheveled state and the screaming baby in his arms. He handed his cane to Maddie. "Hold this." He looked at Wilson. "Switch." He held his arm out for the baby. Taking the tiny girl, he handed her older sister to her father.
Wilson looked at his daughter, trying to be stern, but failing miserably. He couldn't help it. He hated to be the bad guy and, with Jackie working out of town, he didn't see the kids nearly enough. "Don't do that anymore. No more."
House bounced the baby, whose screams had subsided to sniffling. On the table in a carrier, her twin was also quiet. House looked at the girl who had soft blonde tufts of hair. "What's her name?" He asked.
"Gaby." House had Maddie's full attention now. "And Jamie. My babies," she said proudly.
The girl smiled at him with her little white teeth. She still had his cane, so House stood very still. Just then, an Asian boy appeared at Wilson's elbow, Henry. Maddie forgot all about House and her sister, dropping House's cane to stretch down to her brother. "Henry!"
Wilson grabbed the cane with one hand before carefully lowering his daughter to the ground. "Henry, Unca Greg!" She toddled to her bag, pulling out a book, bringing it back to Henry. "Read. Read!" The little boy knew better than to argue with his sister, taking her to a chair, sitting with her, and reading, keeping her quiet.
"Oh, thank God," Wilson finally said, handing his friend his cane back. House carefully took his cane, balancing Gaby in the crook of one arm. He walked to the couch and sat down. It had been a long time since he had held a baby. "I've never been so glad to see another adult in my life." Wilson, forgetting all about the stuff on the stove, sat next to his friend, watching Jamie sleep through it all, noise an everyday occurrence in his young world.
House sat with the baby, both content, both quiet. They could hear Henry reading to his sister in his clear voice. Wilson watched as Gaby's eyes fluttered shut and she fell asleep in his best friend's arms. "You're good with them."
House stroked the little girl's back. "I guess," he said softly.
"You saw Jackie…" It was the only reason he could think of for his friend's surprise visit.
House smirked. "Yes. And isn't she just the ray of sunshine? I'll bet you this baby that she and Cuddy are boiling rabbits as we speak."
Wilson turned towards his friend. "That's the first mean thing I've heard you say about Cuddy in months."
"Hmm," House said. "Are you sure? I'm sure I said something pointed about that shirt she was wearing yesterday…"
"That wasn't mean. It was…" He looked at his children and back at his friend. "It was observation." House had always talked about Cuddy's clothes and how well they fit her frame. He did the same with every woman he came across, up to and including Jackie. House was thinking. Maybe there had been a death of Cuddy insults, but things had been different after the Bus Accident. "So why tonight? Just because of Jackie?"
Wilson's voice jerked House from his thoughts. He had been thinking about Jackie and her seemingly ever present anger at him. "Do you blame me for what happened?" He asked suddenly.
Wilson shook his head, his eyes on the four lights of his life, the reasons why he got up every morning, even though chaos and noise seemed to follow wherever they went. "No. Not anymore." He looked back at his friend. "The last thing she said to me was that anger wasn't the last feeling she wanted to experience. If she wasn't angry, and if Cuddy wasn't angry, then I don't think I have any room to be."
House's gaze was fixed blue, unblinking. "Jackie blames me."
"I wasn't okay after she died. Jackie saw that. She saw how terrified Cuddy was…she's trying to protect us, as always. Does she go about it the wrong way? Of course. But she means well." He looked at his friend. "I've always said that you two weren't very far off. If anyone was hurting one of your people, one of your friends, you'd react the same way."
House raised his eyebrows. "You think so?" He asked incredulously.
"I know so."
They sat in silence awhile, listening to Henry ready and Maddie laughing. After some time, Henry wandered in, his book held at his side. "Dad, do you smell burning?"
Wilson swore, running to the kitchen, as Maddie laughed hysterically. "Daddy, bad word!" Jackie let herself into the apartment, seeing House holding one sleeping daughter as she kissed her other daughter on the top of her head. "Daddy, bad word, Mommy!"
"He did?" She smiled, going to the kitchen to try to help, working closely with Wilson, staying out of the other's way while working together.
House watched from his perch on the couch. He had a feeling he would have to hand Gaby over before he would be able to get up. Henry seemed to realize his predicament and held out his hands for the sleeping infant. House carefully handed Gaby to her brother who placed her in her carrier. Henry bounced onto the couch next to House and regarded him with dark eyes. "You and my mom don't like each other too good, huh?"
House shook his head. "You could say that."
"Why?"
"Sometimes I'm not so nice," House said bluntly. The boy would have to learn someday.
"Nobody's perfect. Everybody makes mistakes. My mom's great…but sometimes she's not so nice either. And sometimes my dad's too nice."
"He lets people walk on him. Don't you ever let anybody do that." Henry looked at him blankly. House had to remind himself that the boy was seven. "He's…too nice. Sometimes it's important to stand up for yourself."
"That's what Mom says." There it was again. Maybe he and Jackie weren't so different.
Wilson came back into the living room. "Sorry about that."
Henry smiled at his father. "Uncle Greg says that you're too nice."
Wilson shot House a look like 'what are you telling the kid' before continuing. "What's too nice?" Before his friend could answer, he said, "Your mom wants you to go get ready for bed, okay?"
Henry looked as if he were about to whine or protest, but apparently thought better of it. He got up off the couch and hugged his father around the waist as Wilson kissed the top of his head. "Good night, Dad," he said before breaking free and wandering off into another room.
A moment later, he was back again, leaning onto the couch and linking his arms around House's neck. House, startled by this sudden display of affection, patted his back, without knowing what else to do. Wilson gave him a look like 'hug him', knowing it would never happen. Henry let go and went back into the other room and Wilson looked at his friend. "Well, accepting a hug, that's the first start."
House watched the doorway Henry had just walked through. 'Smart boy,' he thought, 'good boy'. He contemplated saying that to Wilson, but didn't. He glanced up with a condescending look. "What, do you have another twelve step program for me?"
"I'm through detoxing you. Wouldn't do it to Cuddy. You're the one who said you didn't want to be miserable."
"I'm not miserable," House said, resting his head against his cane. "You've been talking to Cuddy again, haven't you?"
"No. You came to me, when I forgave you, and you said you didn't want to be miserable anymore. I thought 'okay, then maybe there was a reason after all'. Maybe if there could be a difference in other's lives, then that's why that whole mess happened. Everyone was affected by it: your old team, your new team, Cuddy, me...You haven't changed a bit. The only way you've changed is being a little nicer to Cuddy and helping with the baby tonight."
House still rested his forehead on his cane. He didn't look at Wilson. "I'm not going to change. You know that as well as I do."
"Yeah, I do. I finally get it. Your brain was bleeding. You threw up and passed out. You had a heart attack. You fried your brain and put yourself into a coma." He paused. "I didn't get it that night, but the reason why Cuddy was so determined to wake Amber up so that I could say goodbye was because she didn't think she was going to get the chance to do the same with you." Wilson paused, tears brimming his eyes but not falling yet. "I just thought you could finally grow up. Don't ask me why. I just…I thought this might be the time." He paused. "No, I'm not mad at you. I do forgive you. But I'm just wishing that everything meant something to you."
House looked up then, but seeing Wilson's face, he immediately regretted it. "Don't…Of course it means something," he said. "Everything means something. Everything we do affects us. What happened…I know you blame me. You're lying if you say you don't, even if you have forgiven me, you still blame me." House paused and looked down again. "I blame myself."
"Yes, I blame you. I blame everyone. Myself, her, God…I even blamed Cuddy for awhile and she didn't do anything."
House tilted his head a fraction to the side. "Blaming Cuddy is even more pointless than blaming God."
"Blaming anyone is pointless. Nothing anyone does is going to bring her back. Her death itself was pointless…unless something good comes out of it."
House shrugged. "You're back with Jackie."
Wilson nodded. "Yeah. And the kids. And that's good for me. Maybe that's all I can hope for." He paused. "But you know me. I want to fix stuff."
"You're a fixer," House said. "You work to make people better. I work to solve the puzzle."
Jackie walked through, picking up the twins, carrying them to the room set up as a nursery. Wilson tried a different approach. "How are you and Cuddy doing?" He hadn't gotten House to confirm or deny a relationship yet, but he knew the truth.
House watched Jackie the way two savage animals watch each other, but that was just habit. The side of his mouth curved into a smile without him realizing. "We're good." He nodded, more to himself than to Wilson. "We're okay." Without thinking, he added, "We're going to Atlantic City this weekend." He tapped his cane a little. "She wants to try and get pregnant."
"I thought after…I thought she'd given up."
For a single moment, there was a dark look on House's face, but it passed. "She told you then." It wasn't a question. "I suspected, but she never told me."
Wilson looked down at the carpet and then at his friend. "She was trying to call Jackie, got me instead."
House didn't say anything. Jackie came back in and retrieved something of Maddie's off the floor. He watched her again as she left the room without looking at either of them. "What time is it?" House asked absently.
Wilson looked at the clock on the VCR where the kids had been watching a movie. "Ten twenty-two."
House rocked his weight forward to stand. Wilson extended a hand and he took it after a moment's hesitation. "Cuddy will be wondering where I am." There was something in his voice, an odd note.
"House…" He hadn't meant to make him feel bad.
House looked him in the eye. He seemed about to say something snide or sarcastic, something Houseish, but what he did say was completely unexpected, even to House himself. "It's all in the circle." He patted Wilson on the shoulder and turned for the door.
Wilson watched helplessly as his friend walked out the door. "Damn."
From out of nowhere, a little, exhausted, voice popped up. "Daddy bad word…" Maddie trailed off as she fell back to sleep, causing Wilson to give a half-smile.
It was past eleven when House walked into his apartment. Cuddy's keys were on the counter beside a bottle of scotch she had given him for his birthday. House slipped off his shoes and padded into the bedroom. Cuddy was there, curled on her side, asleep. House watched her a moment before climbing onto the bed and spooning her, his arm around her waist when he felt her stir. She turned around and turned into him, her head against his chest where she could hear his heart beating. Her eyes finally opened, focusing on his. "You're home."
"I am." He stroked her hair absently. He didn't often hold her like this. Generally they slept apart, even after sex. They belonged to each other, but they belonged to themselves.
"Jackie didn't kill you."
He laughed sharply through his nose. "I was at Wilson's, but we didn't even talk to each other."
"That's good." Although she secretly wondered, when the fighting didn't get too carried away, if they both didn't enjoy the arguments. "I thought you were probably over there." In the back of her mind had been him being over at a bar somewhere getting drunk again, but she pushed that out quickly, not wanting to think about it.
"I thought about what you said," House said into the half-dark. "I think we should…I think we should try to get pregnant." He felt her tense against him. "I know you've had…problems before, but giving up is stupidity. You know that. We should at least try." He resumed stroking her hair.
She looked up at him, locking eyes, studying him, silently wondering if he was serious. She didn't want to get her heart broken again if he wasn't. "Are you sure?" She finally asked.
House looked at her. She was trying to read him, trying to understand what he was saying. There was a flicker of fear in her eye. He touched her cheek. "Of course I'm not sure. But I think we have to do this."
She shook her head. "I'm not making you do anything. I don't think anyone can."
"I think…" House hesitated, revealing private parts of his mind was not something he did very often. "I think I want to do this. I want to have a baby with you."
"Really?" The revelation was somehow more important to her than the actual words themselves. She leaned up and kissed him.
It took him a moment but he kissed her back, long and slow. Afterwards, he rested his forehead against hers, thinking 'this must be what love is like'. She wanted to say the words, but didn't dare, not knowing how they would be taken, but also knowing that love wasn't always about the words, rather the actions. She was still thinking of this as she fell to sleep, her head on his chest. House heard the change in her breathing and knew she was asleep. It seemed that after everything, he had come back around after all. Wilson was right. Blame games would get you nowhere, but, with change, came new circles. He fell asleep, holding the thought, holding Cuddy.