I'm wandering the streets in a world underneath it all.
I have my brain back and though I have retained my post as the Queen's advisor, it seems that I live in a different world. Memories of my time prior to the witch are still vague and fuzzy. It seems that Glitch will never really be gone. He is here to stay. I find it comforting that he is well loved by Princess DG. I was never one to be sociable. I was always shy and aloof. But now I travel through the castle with an easy smile and when there was a time that I was just another noble, it seems that now I am easier to approach. I don't know if it has to do with the fact that I helped saved the kingdom, or the fact that I finally see the people around me. It all started with the boy that helps the chef. He was running out of the kitchen and ran into me spilling the contents of a basket all over the floor. We both apologized profusely and he was astonished and a bit mortified when I leaned down to help him pick up the items on the floor. I winked at him and told him not to worry about it that I was always bumping into things. Saying hello to a maid here, helping an old lady there and all of a sudden I am persona grata anywhere in the palace. But... even so... with all the good things that are happening... I can't help but feel that what I want the most, I can never have.
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have.
I see her hair long and dark hanging down her back; skin that seems softer than flower petals and those lips that promise to be soft and sweet. They invade my thoughts and dreams. It seems that the more that I try to stay away, the more I see her. I tried evading her, but she seems to be everywhere, taunting me with her playful banter. Well... not bantering with me, but with her sister, running around the palace like a fairy sprite, as light as a breeze in spring. Her presence fills each room she is in and I can't help but bask in her essence. But I say nothing. I remain a spectator of her, someone that she seems to ignore. To her, I am someone none existent. If only she knew. How much I know her...
Like you and the way that your wrapping your hair round your finger.
Slowly and piece by piece memories of her... of before, come back to my mind... the way she used to dance in the moonlighted garden when she thought no one was looking. The way she smiled at me when I helped her with her homework. I remember her favorite flower and the fact that she hates tea. I remember her twirling her hair on her finger when nervous and how she bites her lower lip when concentrating on something. Often times it was due to her being engrossed on a book... But I also know of the nightmares that plague her at night. I found out by accident as I was walking by her chambers one night. I know that when the memories of what happened to her are a little bit too much, she walks to the library and loses herself in a children's story, something light to lift her spirits. But tonight I see that it doesn't help. I walk into the library and I see her looking out the window at the moon high in the sky.
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you,
what I feel about you.
"Do you forgive me?"
I am surprised by her question. I had hoped she hadn't seen me. I wanted to admire her in silence, unperceived by her, surrounded by the moonlight. She does not turn around, but I know she awaits my answer with a bit of trepidation.
"There is nothing to forgive Azkadee." An old name, something I had forgotten.
"You haven't called me that since… before…" she stares out the window, unwilling to see me, afraid that I've lied; afraid that she'll see contempt and disgust on my face, like on so many others. My heart cries for her, but my voice stays silent.
"No matter how many things have changed, or the years that have passed, some things will always remain the same. I can't forget my weakness and the destruction and pain it caused. You've forgiven me, but I cannot understand why… and so I cannot forgive myself."
She turns around abruptly and walks to the door. I follow her with my eyes wishing I had the courage to say the things I long to. She pauses at the door and whispers softly to me.
"Good night… Glitch."
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannonball into the water
A string of memories came to my mind when I hear her say my name… I've always been Glitch. I was never Ambrose to her, or the royal advisor. It was always Glitch. I leave the library and walk outside in the gardens trying to find the peace that evades me. Seeing her in pain and finding myself helpless to aid her. I can't find the words to tell her that everything will be ok. That I will be there for her; that I care. Looking at the fountain I remember a conversation I overheard between her and DG… She did not want to be queen. She just wanted to be loved for her sake and not for the kingdom. She wanted the kind of love that DG had found with Cain, something that would fill the void that had been filled with darkness for so long; she needed the comfort of loving and being loved.
It is time to stop running from what I want. I must followed DG's example. She chased Cain until he realized that they were meant to be, and now they are happily together. I must gather all my courage and show Azkadee that I can make her happy. I must show her how much I love her. With a new purpose in mind, I walk towards my room to plan a strategy to win her over. She won't even know what hit her. As I lie in bed I can't help but smile at the thought that…
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have…
For you I will
The morning comes soon enough and I go in search of her. I find her in the library reading or at least pretending to read as she is looking out the window with a sad look on her face.
"Azkadee… would you like to go with me to the fair outside of Emerald city?"
"No."
"Come on!! It will be fun; you can't spend all your time inside the palace."
"I said that I don't want to go. I am tired of people looking at me with anger and distrust."
"Well… what if they don't recognize you? Will you go then?" I saw her looking at me with interest.
"But I am not allowed to use my magic?"
I can't help but laugh, "We won't need to, DG will help you with a disguise. Come."
She looks at me with trepidation and looks out the window I see that she really wants to do it, but fear stops her.
"Come on Azkadee, you can't hide forever."
She stands and walks towards me. I can smell her perfume soft and feminine. She looks up at me and asks "So how are you going to disguise me?"
You always want what you can't have,
but I've got to try.
We arrive at the fair and we are surrounded by noise, smells and sights that I had forgotten existed. Memories inside me woke up from a long slumber. We had done this before; I had been here with her before. I see the girl beside me. Gone is the royal look and instead there is just a simple maid her beautiful hair hidden inside a cap, a clean face and simple clothes. There is no rigidity to her back and only curiosity shows in her eyes. I am also dressed as a common man. For today we are just a boy and girl out to have fun. I smile at her
"Come on Delia, what do you want to try first?"
We walk around and enjoy the food. We try our hands at throwing balls into a bucket. We watch the dancers and hear the songs. She buys a bracelet for her sister and I buy a lovely brooch for her hair. She buys me a bag of sweets that somehow are my favorites, and I buy her a white rose from one of the stalls.
Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have.
For you I will.
I look into her eyes as we walk back to the castle and I can't help but notice her smile, and how she inhales the sweet smell of the rose I gave her. I find my heart constrict in happiness at the knowledge that she is for this moment in time all mine. We are just Glitch and Delia, nothing more. I think its time and I've decided to tell her how I feel.
Forgive me if I st-stutter,
from all of the clutter, in my head.
I could fall asleep in those eyes like a waterbed.
Do I seem familiar?
I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times.
No more camouflage,
I wanna be exposed and not be afraid to fall.
"Azkadellia…I…I… mmm…"
"Are you ok Glitch?" she turns her face towards me as we walk back to the castle.
"Yeah.. its just that I've wanted to tell you something. Azkadee… my Azkadee."
"Glitch?"
"Since I got back my brain, memories have slowly come back to me and a lot of them are of you."
She stops and turns fully towards me, there is an emotion on her face that I had seen before… I know I have but it's a faint memory. My heart beats faster and the words are hard to come by but I know that I have to do it. I have to risk something to gain something and it seems that the price might be my heart.
"Azkadee… I am in love with you."
If I could dim the lights in the mall and create a mood, I would.
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room, I would.
That's what I'd do.
That's what I'd do.
That's what I'd do, to get through to you.
Oh.
The words leave my mouth and I see her eyes widen in surprise. She shakes her head in denial…
"Glitch… you can't love me." Tears are rolling down her cheeks. "How can you love me after all I've done to you?"
"That was not you. That was the witch. My Azkadellia is the woman that is standing right here with me. Whose hear is so full of compassion that she still feels the guilt for the things she did not do."
"Glitch… I can't… I don't…" she stops and finally asks "Why?"
"Why I love you?" I ask her and she nods in return.
I take her small hands in mine and try to find the answer that she needs. "I loved you from before, but I never said anything for fear that you would reject me, and then the witch happened. When DG came and saved you… I fell in love with you again."
"How? Glitch, please help me understand…"
"I fell in love with your smile… because I've seen you give freely to small children as you helped them with something. I fell in love with your mind, because I can have conversations with you without running out of topics to talk about. I love you becaue being with you brings me peace and I feel content. I know I love you because I would give my life to make sure that you are happy and safe."
For you I will.
For you I will.
For you
"Oh Glitch… I love you too." Her hands broke free from mine and her arm went around me as hard sobs shook her body.
"Don't leave me Ambrose… my Glitch… don't ever leave me."
"Nothing could tear me apart from your side. I will always come back."
I pulled back slightly away from her so as to see her face. I raised her face slightly and lowered my lips to hers. It was pure pleasure to feel her soft skin against mine. I felt her smile agains my lips.
"You do realize that this means that Cain will be your brother-in-law, right?" she said with a smile.
"That is ok… I have connections with the Queen. I know she will protect me… and so can my wife."
A soft blush spread through her face, "I would like that Glitch."
"Well, lets go talk to your parents and the queen… I am sure she is going to be ecstatic."
"I love you Ambrose."
"I love you Azkadellia"