A/N: And just like that, I'm double-dipping stories again. For those who haven't heard, Revenge of the Crossover has been canceled due to me losing interest in the thing, but this season is one which I don't believe will lose my interest. For one, this season, like the other Party titles, contains original characters of mine, and for two, this season will be a half-length season in the same manner as Revenge of the Island or Pahkitew, meaning no non-elimination episodes. I'll be going back-and-forth between this one and Alpha Party, but for now, why don't we set the stage?
It was a sunny summer day when a large helicopter touched down at the very edge of a never-before-seen island. After the helicopter landed, its cargo doors opened up and a tall young man hopped out and smiled at the camera. This young man had styled dirty-blond hair, a dark blue sweater, and khaki pants.
"Hello, viewing audience!" he greeted proudly as he put his arms out for effect. "I'm Topher O'Neal, but you already knew that. What you might not know is what I'm doing here. Well, let me explain. For those who haven't been following us recently, the producers of Total Drama let Chef Hatchet host a season called House Party, only for him to be promptly imprisoned for shady behavior which I won't spoil here."
Topher walked away from the helicopter.
"Now they're letting Chris host another season called Alpha Party, but here's the thing: they're not entirely confident he'll make it through the season without doing something to get himself fired," Topher chuckled. "That's where I come in. I've been selected to host a shorter season as a bit of a tryout in case they do end up having to fire Chris and need someone new to host."
Topher looked back at the camera.
"That's right, this is a shorter season, but don't take that to mean that it will be boring. No Sirree," Topher grinned. "Our 14 hand-picked contestants will spend this game exploring this island's many secrets, and will have to endure Mother Nature and all her dangers, not to mention the almighty vote."
Topher walked back towards the helicopter.
"Speaking of our contestants, why don't we introduce them to you at home?" Topher suggested. "Starting with... Kristin!"
With this, a black girl slowly made her way out of the helicopter. Her black, dreadlocked hair had parts of it dyed red, gold, and green, and she wore a red headband, green T-shirt, gold capri pants, and black sandals.
"Good afternoon, Kristin," Topher greeted. "You're looking very rasta today."
"That's what I was going for," Kristin said calmly with a smile. "I embrace I's Rastafarian roots and I'm not afraid to show it. I stand for peace and equality. Who wouldn't be proud of that?"
"You think your peaceful nature will help you out in this game?" Topher asked.
"It could," Kristin smiled. "This show is proof of all the amagideon going on in this world, so maybe a bit of I and I could take I a long way."
"I hardly understood any of that, but I think I get the gist," Topher admitted.
"One doesn't need to understand, but to overstand," Kristin said sagely. "That's how one raise one's consciousness."
"Duly noted," Topher said half-dismissively. "Anyway, let's get Ethan out here!"
A tall, muscular black young man exited the helicopter. His black hair was in a buzzcut and he wore an upside-down, backwards, red visor on his head, as well as a soul patch on his face. His outfit consisted of a yellow tank top, grey shorts, and black sneakers.
"Awwwwwwww yeah!" Ethan cheered. "Total Drama! Let's go, son!"
"You seem excited to be here," Topher noted.
"Heeeeeeeell yeah, bro!" Ethan affirmed. "Woo. Alright. Gotta get that outta my system. Gotta focus, man. This game ain't easy."
"That's true," Topher nodded. "I was one of the best players in my season and I only got 8th."
"But hey, you had fun doing it, right?" Ethan asked. "That's all that matters. I just wanna stay in the game long enough to have a good, memorable time. Not that I don't wanna win, too. 'Cause I do."
"Irie, man," Kristin commented.
"What?" Ethan asked flatly.
"I'm saying that vibe is irie," Kristin explained.
"I've never heard that one before, but that sounds cool," Ethan grinned.
"It's Iyaric," Kristin told him. "It's a Rastafarian thing."
"Yeah! Smoke weed erryday!" Ethan cheered.
"Weed is a spiritual thing," Kristin said calmly. "It's meant to cleanse our minds."
"Yo, this Rasta thing sounds awesome," Ethan beamed. "Is bacon a spiritual thing too?"
"It's not I-tal to eat bacon," Kristin refuted. "That means no bacon. Or booze, for that matter."
"Aw, that's gay," Ethan frowned.
"Okay, let's change the subject before Tumblr gets all over our asses," Topher said nervously. "Here's Trinity."
Out of the helicopter stepped a white girl with glasses, braces, and freckles. Her hair was brown and done in a single braid which rested on her shoulder. She wore a brown T-shirt, blue jeans, and dark green sneakers. She scowled at Topher, Kristin, and Ethan.
"How predictable," Trinity said. "So far everyone here is better looking than I am. Of course, that's the case more often than not, so I really shouldn't be surprised."
"At least she's honest," Ethan remarked.
"All people are equal in the eyes of Jah," Kristin told Trinity empathetically. "Don't let the downpression of the world prevail."
"Easy for you to say," Trinity spat. "Look at you. Medium height. Good figure. Naturally pretty. I'd say it's pretty easy for someone like you to not let that kind of stuff get to you. How many boyfriends have you had? I'm willing to guess at least four."
"Our worth is not measured by how we look on the outside," Kristin responded. "It's not the dread on your head, but the love in your heart."
"Yeah, if you want to date a girl or a gay guy maybe," Ethan scoffed.
Kristin glared at Ethan.
"All I'm saying is I'd rather bang you than this chick," Ethan shrugged.
"Don't count on it," Kristin told Ethan.
"Sadly I'm all too familiar with his type," Trinity stated. "Meatheaded bro-douche whose only concerns in life are parties and sex."
"Well yeah. What other purpose is there in life?" Ethan grinned.
"Literature, science, social studies," Trinity listed.
"Zion, equality, upfulness," Kristin listed.
"Lame," Ethan said as he rolled his eyes.
"Everyone say hello to Ray!" Topher interrupted.
Just then, something zipped out of the helicopter and crashed into a nearby bush. It appeared to be a person.
"Need any help, Ray?" Topher asked.
"Nah thanks, I'm good," Ray said as he took himself out of the bush.
Ray was an Asian young man with messy, dyed-orange hair and goggles over his eyes. He wore a white button-up shirt, black corduroy pants, and black shoes. He also wore a jetpack on his back.
"You okay?" Kristin asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Ray said. "Just felt like showing off my jetpack as part of my entrance, but evidently I overestimated how far the bush was from the helicopter."
"Whoa, dude, you have a jetpack?!" Ethan gasped. "Wicked!"
"Ah, yes, thank you. Made it myself," Ray grinned. "I'm an inventor, you see. I like to tinker around and make little gizmos that might help out in day-to-day life. The jetpack's only a prototype, though. Still haven't quite nailed that one yet."
"Impressive, I must admit," Trinity said as she adjusted her glasses. "Why, may I ask, are you wearing goggles? You're clearly not working on anything right now."
"Fashion choice, I guess," Ray shrugged. "I think it looks cool, anyway."
"Interesting," Trinity said. "I wonder how different I'd look with goggles rather than glasses."
"Like more of a dork," Ethan muttered.
"Stop," Kristin told Ethan.
"Hey, if she's sensitive about looking like a dork, I'm not about to let her look more dorky," Ethan frowned.
"Have you brought any more of your inventions with you?" Trinity asked Ray.
"We'll get to that after everyone's all introduced," Topher informed her. "Speaking of which, say hello to Angie."
"Hello to Angie," Ray smirked.
A Hispanic young lady hopped out of the helicopter. She had chin-length brown hair and wore a loose-fitting pink T-shirt with an orange fish design on it (so loose you could see her black bra straps), very short jean shorts, and sandals.
"Hey guys. How's it going?" Angie greeted. She looked behind her to see the island's shore. "Oh, cool, it's the ocean already!"
"I take it you're a fan of the ocean," Ray guessed.
"Oh yeah!" Angie affirmed. "What's not to love? Who doesn't enjoy sailing on the surface of the sea, or snorkeling to see the fascinating creatures below, or heck, just playing in the sand at the beach?"
"I know I'm a fan," Kristin smiled. "Listening to reggae at the beach is I's idea of a good time."
"Ooh, reggae's fun," Angie nodded. "Oh man, I just can't wait to get this game started already. It's going to be so much fun."
"You know it," Ethan beamed. "This chick knows what's up."
"Tch," Trinity just glared at Angie.
"Chin up," Angie said with a smile to Trinity. "We're about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Ooh, I hope we see lots of cool bodies of water."
"Speaking of bodies of water, let's all meet River!" Topher announced.
"That was awful," scoffed a short white boy as he exited the helicopter.
This young man, River, had black hair with purple tips on the bangs. He wore a black-and-turquoise colored hoodie, dark blue jeans, and black sneakers with turquoise soles.
"Let's see..." River said as his eyes scanned over the others. "All that pot's probably stained your brain," he said to Kristin. "Same with you, just replace 'pot' with 'steroids'," he said to Ethan. "Remind me to ask you what the Black Lagoon is like," he said to Trinity. "You're really doing an amazing job breaking the Asian stereotype there, poindexter," he remarked to Ray. "How interesting that you have a fish on your shirt considering you probably have the same number of brain cells as a fish," he finally said to Angie.
"Brilliant first impression there," Trinity spat. "Did you want to be the first to go home?"
"I'm just calling it how I see it," River said, not making eye contact with anyone. "It's not my fault your flaws are all so painfully apparent."
"That's not even how steroids work, by the way," Ethan frowned.
"Well, you would know, wouldn't you?" River smirked.
"Hey, all idren are equal in the eyes of Jah," Kristin said calmly.
"I don't know who Jah is, so their opinion obviously doesn't mean anything," River shrugged.
"You're kind of mean," Angie pouted.
"People probably tell you about how pretty you are, huh?" River asked Angie. "That's probably because they can't think of anything else nice to say to you because there isn't much else good about you."
Everyone else glanced at Ray for support.
"What? I'd rather not get involved," Ray admitted. "It's like you in the brown shirt said, this kid probably won't last long anyway."
"You keep telling yourself that, virgin," River remarked. "Anything to help you cope with your own inevitable early elimination."
"Hey, let's get someone else out here," Topher suggested. "Someone like Reese!"
Out of the helicopter stepped a chubby Asian girl with wavy, shoulder-length black hair. She wore a purple hoodie, blue sweatpants, and pink sneakers.
"Hey guys. How's it going?" Reese asked with a smile.
"People say I'm a good swimmer too," Angie pouted to River.
"Oh no. Is something wrong?" Reese asked.
"He's really mean," Angie said, fighting back tears, as she pointed to River.
"Hey, hey, it's alright," Reese said as she gave Angie a supportive hug.
"What do you know? This girl has the right idea," River remarked.
"What, dare I ask, is that supposed to mean?" Trinity asked.
"Fat people give comfy hugs," River said. "She's at least taking advantage of her own flaws, unlike the rest of you, who just stay complacent with them."
"Do you need a hug too?" Reese asked as she approached River.
"No, unlike the rest of these people, I'm okay enough with myself to not need one," River denied.
"Oh. Well, I love hugs," Reese said. "I love cuddly things in general, really. Kitties are pretty cuddly too. Ooh, and those really soft body pillows."
"Body pillows, eh? Much like the ones painfully single people buy so their anime crush can 'come to life'?" River asked.
"You kinda walked into that one," Ethan said to Reese.
"That's okay," Reese smiled. "I'm not going to let him get to me." With that, she approached River for a hug, but he held his hand out in front of him, stopping her from getting any closer.
"Let's all give a nice bonjour to Jean-Marie," Topher announced.
A white young man stepped out of the helicopter with a smirk on his face. He had short black hair as well as stubble on his face, and he wore a dark green jacket over a grey shirt, a red gemstone pendant, dark blue khaki pants, and black loafers.
"Hello, my friends," Jean-Marie said, a French accent noticeable in his voice.
"Ooh, nice accent," Angie complimented.
"Merci. I am from France," Jean-Marie explained. "And I must say, you have quite a nice accent yourself."
"What, this old thing?" Angie asked bashfully. "It's Canadian. No different from the rest of us."
"He seems like quite the charming young man," Kristin said to the others.
"Let's just hope his accent doesn't lead to any miscommunication," Ray chuckled.
"He also has a girls' name, so there's that," River pointed out.
"Oh yeah, because 'River' is a totally manly name," Ethan retorted.
River just scoffed as he folded his arms and looked away.
"Bonjour to the rest of you," Jean-Marie greeted the others. "I look forward to playing this game. I hear it's very popular in the United States."
"Yeah. So?" Trinity asked shortly.
"So, my family's jewelry corporation is thinking of expanding to the US," Jean-Marie explained. "Maybe winning this game will be a sufficient first step towards that goal."
"I believe in you," Kristin smiled.
"Don't expect the rest of us to just lie down and let you take it though," Ethan smirked as he cracked his knuckles.
"Mais non. Of course not," Jean-Marie said. "It would be no fun if things were so easy."
"Speak for yourself, pretty-boy," Trinity muttered.
"Next on our list is Frita!" Topher announced.
The next contestant was a white girl, and she slowly trudged out of the helicopter. She had curly orange hair and thick, round glasses, and wore a white sweater, black skirt, black tights, and black Mary Jane shoes.
"Hey there. I'm Reese," Reese greeted the girl, Frita. "How's it going? You look like you have something on your mind."
"I do," Frita sighed. "All I can think about right now is how I'm probably going to regret having ever signed up for this game."
"Now why would you say that?" Jean-Marie asked. "I thought this game was meant to be fun."
"You must not watch it much," Frita sighed. "The contestants get hurt all the time. That means that, no matter where you place in this game, you'll walk away in pain, probably with some lasting scars like Ezekiel or Dakota."
"There are ways to cure those two," Ray stated. "I looked into it out of morbid curiosity."
"It's probably really expensive and hard to find someone who would do something like that," Frita sighed. "But back to my point at hand, I'm probably going to be an early boot. And if I'm not, other people will be, destroying their expectations for a fun and happy summer of winning a million dollars."
"Oh no. I think you need a hug," Reese said as she hugged an unmoving Frita.
"Frita doesn't need a hug, she needs psychiatric help," River sneered.
"I'm just glad I don't have the dorkiest-looking glasses of the contestants here," Trinity grinned.
"You still have the dorkiest-looking braces," River pointed out.
"And you're still the shortest one here," Ethan told River.
River leered at Ethan.
"I hope I'm not an early boot," Angie thought aloud. "Now I'm kind of sad thinking about it."
"No matter what happens, some people will go early," Frita sighed. "Someone will even go first. It'll probably be me, but it could even be you."
"She's taking away all the irie," Kristin frowned.
"She'll definitely go early if she keeps that attitude up," Ethan agreed.
"Let's all meet Joel!" Topher suggested.
A black boy leapt out of the helicopter. His dyed-brown hair was in a flat top haircut and he wore a three-quarters-sleeved shirt that was two shades of green, tan shorts, and orange sneakers with white soles.
"Oh my goodness gracious I can't even believe this!" Joel exclaimed. "I seriously can't believe I'm on Total Drama right now I mean who even gets picked for these games and yet here I am and yet here you guys are too! Anyway, I'm Joel and it's a pleasure to meet you guys I can't wait to meet you all individually but let's just hurry up and get this game on the road!"
"Someone's excited," Ray remarked.
"I mean can you even blame me this is like the adventure of a lifetime and I've actually been chosen to do this!" Joel beamed.
"Yeah, but so did the rest of these losers, so really, that's not much of an accomplishment," River remarked.
"Wouldn't that make you one of us losers?" Ethan chuckled.
"Hmph," River huffed as he looked away.
"Ooh are you like the one who's only recruited so they can have an unlikable first boot who ends up inevitably having fans anyway like Staci and Beardo?" Joel asked River.
"That's him alright," Trinity snickered.
"Now, now," Reese frowned. "We all have a real shot at winning this game."
"Besides," Frita sighed. "I thought I was going to be the first boot."
"So it's not going to be me?" Angie asked.
"It could be," Frita reminded her. "Best not to get your hopes up for anything. You'll only get disappointed when bad things do start to happen. Which they always do."
"Whoa whoa whoa, you need to dial back the negative-meter over here," Joel said to Frita. "You need to get excited! This game is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for all of us unless we end up getting called back to an all-stars season which could very well happen so seriously chin up right now and enjoy this opportunity that not a lot of people get. Besides, you're on camera, so smile."
"A camera which will no doubt record all of my inevitable failures," Frita sighed.
"At least you tried, non?" Jean-Marie said to Joel.
"I'll try anything once with the sole exception of those centipede-flavored jellybeans that they put in those packs with all the weird flavors because I just don't even want to know how they know what centipede tastes like because seriously like whose job even is that to go and taste centipedes to find out if the jellybeans are accurate. It weirds me out, dude," Joel responded.
"Time to introduce Brittany!" Topher announced.
A white girl stepped out of the helicopter. She had back-length blonde hair and wore a blue long-sleeved shirt, pink pants which cut off just under her knees, red sneakers, and white socks.
"Hey guys," Brittany waved with a smile. "How's it going?"
"Rather well now that you are here," Jean-Marie said as he approached Brittany, took her hand, and kissed it politely.
"Well, heheh, maybe that could be a good reason to keep me," Brittany said with an uncomfortable look on her face. She took her hand back and approached the rest of the contestants.
"Nice to meet you all," Brittany said with a smile.
"Well, I guess we can check the generic hot flirty girl off the list of cliches this season," River remarked.
"Whoa, who said anything about flirting?" Brittany asked.
"I just think River's not used to anyone giving him friendly greetings," Ethan joked. "He's not wrong about you being hot though."
River rolled his eyes.
"Well, I'm flattered, but I can assure you there's more to me than that," Brittany said.
"Don't mind those two," Trinity said. "They're not good company."
"Ooh, you should tell us something about yourself," Angie suggested.
"Oh, okay," Brittany agreed. "Well, my name's Brittany, and I-"
"Okay, but real talk, is she not super attractive or what I mean like serious top ten like five star like tenouttaten material?" Joel whispered not-so-quietly to Ray.
"She is pretty, I won't deny it," Ray nodded with a smile. "I wonder if she's impressed by smart guys. I would say I'd like to show her my inventions, but that'd sound crass."
"Ugh. Nevermind," Brittany sighed.
"That's fine. You can just tell me later," Angie shrugged.
"Put your hands together for Vladimir!" Topher announced.
A white young man stepped out of the helicopter. His outfit was entirely grey, from his long-sleeved shirt, to his pants, to his sandals. Of note was that he did not have any hair on his head, not even eyebrows or facial hair.
"Intriguing..." Trinity said with a raised eyebrow.
"Hello, everybody," Vladimir greeted with a smile.
"Okay, this guy just makes it too easy," River snickered.
"Hi!" Reese greeted as she gave Vladimir a hug. "Um, I hope you don't mind me asking, but, uh, why don't you have any hair?"
"Maybe he's a Skinhead," River suggested.
"Maybe he lost it in a burn accident," Ray suggested.
"Maybe he has leukemia and is dying as we speak and his final wish was to be on this show," Frita sighed.
"I think it's gnarly regardless," Ethan remarked.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Brittany asked Ethan.
"So? What's the reason?" Trinity asked.
"I'd rather not get into it," Vladimir said. "You'll have to excuse me. I'm rather shy."
"I can respect that," Kristin nodded.
"Maybe you'll open up more as the game goes on," Brittany smiled.
"Maybe," Vladimir said with a slight smile of his own. "Anyway, I wish you all good luck in this game."
"Thanks. You too, sweetie," Reese smiled.
"Here comes Sorrell!" Topher announced.
A white girl stumbled out of the helicopter. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail and she wore an orange spaghetti strap top, khaki shorts, sandals, and gold bracelets on each wrist. She also held a brown bottle in her hand.
"Urp! Whassa-Whassap guys?" Sorrell slurred. She snort-laughed.
"Okay?" Ray remarked in confusion.
"Okay, no hold up," Sorrell started coughing. "Okay, no, I don't need to puke yet. Anyway, I'm Sorrell. 'Sup, bitches!"
"Is that beer?" Angie asked, pointing to her bottle.
"Hell yeah!" Sorrell grinned. "This is an uncharted island, man! That means no age restrictions on drinking! I don't have to wait until I'm 19 after all. Screw you, Canada's legal system!"
"It's 18 in some provinces," Ethan grinned. "I should know. Oh, also, keep away from this one." He gestured to Kristin. "She hates booze."
"It's not I-tal," Kristin said. "But I won't stop her from drinking it."
"It's also not safe," Brittany pointed out. "You could get addicted at a young age, or get alcohol poisoning, or-"
"Or I could be a giant pr-urp-prude like you are," Sorrell scoffed.
"She has a point, though," Frita sighed.
"Who, me, or her?" Brittany asked.
"Both of you..." Frita sighed.
"In some parts of Europe, you can drink at 16," Jean-Marie stated.
"Aw, sick, are you, like, hic! like some Euro hottie?" Sorrell asked as she put her arm around Jean-Marie's shoulder. "We should get legally smashed together if you know what I mean."
"I'll pass," Jean-Marie said as he took Sorrell's arm off of his shoulder.
"Am I still the obvious first boot?" River taunted Joel.
"I mean it's still on the table since this chick's probably not going to last very long but I mean her shtick could provide some decent entertainment for a while so who knows maybe she'll outlast you," Joel shrugged.
"It's going to suck when she outlasts me," Frita sighed. "Better get used to the thought."
"Woooooooooooo!" Sorrell screamed as she popped up between the three.
"Let's cap the introductions off with Noah!" Topher announced.
An Indian young man came out of the helicopter. He had neat, chin-length, dark brown hair and wore a white, three-quarters-sleeved shirt under a dark blue polo shirt and a dark red sweater vest, dark green cargo pants, brown shoes, and white socks.
"I have several questions," Joel said as he raised his hand.
"Yep. It's me, Noah," Noah smirked as he joined the rest of the contestants.
"Well isn't this a pleasant surprise?" Reese beamed as she hugged Noah. "Wow, I just hugged a celebrity."
"So, what, you're just bitter at all your previous losses, so you had to come back for another season?" River scoffed. "I thought you were above this. This is Courtney status."
"I have my reasons for coming back," Noah said. "But I'd rather you not let my past experience in this game mark me as a threat."
"How can we not?" Ray asked. "You've been in two more seasons than the rest of us have. You have more experience than we do."
"Perhaps, but this game, I'm told, will be quite different from the previous ones, so really, I'm practically a whole new contestant," Noah explained.
"Hic! Noah selfie time!" Sorrell announced as she posed with Noah and held a small rock in front of the two.
"...Did you get it?" Noah asked uncomfortably.
"I think so," Sorrell chuckled before taking another swig of beer.
"How peculiar," Vladimir noted.
"Alright, now that we've met everyone, it's time for a recap of what's going to be going down," Topher said to the fourteen contestants. "This is Total Drama Explore Party. As such, you will be exploring this mostly-untouched-by-civilization island during your time in the game. As teams, you guys will race from one Helipad Zone to the next in each round. That means that there is no set campground for you to stay at; it'll constantly be changing. The team who shows up to the Helipad Zone last will cast votes for which of their teammates they feel should leave the game. The contestant with the most votes will board a helicopter. and will be taken... elsewhere."
"Elsewhere?" Brittany asked. "That sounds awfully suspicious."
"It's totally safe, don't you worry your pretty little head about it," Topher assured her.
Brittany rolled her eyes.
"Of course, I should mention that making it from Point A to Point B won't be so easy," Topher said. "There will always be some sort of obstacle keeping it from being a simple footrace. These obstacles could require brains or brawn, so don't count anyone out of this simply because of their skillsets."
"What about a lack thereof?" River remarked.
"I'm not here to tell you how to vote, I'm just here to make sure things are running smoothly," Topher shrugged. "Anyway, as you may know, confessionals are a big part of Total Drama, and this season will be no exception. Of course, due to the whole 'constantly on the move' thing, we've set several confessional booths throughout the island: one at each Helipad Zone, in fact. Actually, now would be a good time for everyone to make a confessional to let the audience know how you're doing right now. Don't try to listen in on others' confessionals though. That's tacky."
Topher led the contestants to an outhouse booth not far from where the helicopter had landed.
Confessional:
Kristin: I'm not a dumb girl, but people tend to know so at first glance because I smoke weed. I know I might be able to use this to I's advantage in this game.
Ethan: Well, I'm not super impressed with the lineup of chicas in this cast, but overall I can't complain. Kristin's hot, Angie's hot, Brittany's hot, and Sorrell's hot and knows how to have a good time. I think I'll be just fine out here.
Trinity: As expected, I am indeed the ugliest person out here. Well, I know how these sort of people are. They're in it for the good times, for the "experience". I'm here to play the game, and I'm here to win the game, and I'll do so with sheer brainpower.
Ray: I like to think I'll have the upper hand in this game. In addition to my jetpack, I brought a grappling hook gun, a handheld radar, a modified airsoft gun, and more besides. There's no way I'm not winning this game.
Angie: I wonder just how much water there'll be on our journey. I'm hoping one round is just a scuba journey or something. That'd be so cool!
River: This cast seems pretty thin-skinned overall, which is good for me, because the worse they feel about themselves, the better I'll look in comparison. Ethan's definitely someone I'll need to watch out for, though.
Reese: I wonder what the sleeping situation out here will be like. I brought a sleeping bag as was recommended in the acceptance letter, but will we be in a tent, or outside in the cold? Either way, I hope I can snuggle up to someone for warmth. Nothing beats that feeling, let me tell you.
Jean-Marie: English is not my first language, but I like to think that I'm fluent in it regardless. So far I seem to be on an equal playing field to the others, but hopefully I can get a step above soon, non?
Frita: Knowing my luck they'll probably just edit my confessional out, so I don't see the point in doing one.
Joel: Holy geez man I am in a Total Drama confessional I repeat I am in a Total Drama confessional and it is seriously blowing my mind right now because this is like the finality is really setting into my mind right now that I'm really here about to embark on my Total Drama journey and I'd just like to go ahead and say hi to my mom and dad and brother and other brother and my brother from another mother and-
Brittany: I don't know what it is about me, but everywhere I go, without fail, at least one guy ends up crushing on me. I try to stay humble about it, mostly because I find it more of a nuisance than anything, and it seems things will be no different out here. I'm not going to play the flirt game, though; I'm going to play a normal game just like everyone else.
Vladimir: (He chuckles.) You want to know about me? Perhaps this will explain things! (With a flourish, he puts on an entirely new outfit, and all of a sudden he looks exactly like Topher.) I am Vladimir, Master of Disguise! I can pass as anyone I want, and I packed enough materials for me to make disguises of the rest of the contestants, too. My skillset will be invaluable to my game.
Sorrell: Woooooooooooo! It's like Spring Break but I'm probably the only one out here who's going to take her top off! Oh well. Screw these losers, more hic! fun for me!
Noah: No, I'm not the actual Noah who was on this show once, er, twice, apparently. I'm just some kid who everyone says looks like him. My real name is Amir. I don't know a ton about this show, but I figure posing as someone who's apparently a fan-favorite can't do me any harm. Who knows? I could end up with a million dollars at the end of all this.
"Now that that's all sorted out, why don't we split you guys into teams?" Topher grinned as he took a piece of paper from his pocket. "Ahem. Angie, Brittany, Jean-Marie, Joel, Kristin, Noah, and Trinity, you guys are one team. Ethan, Frita, Ray, Reese, River, Sorrell, and Vladimir, you guys are another team."
"Do we not get team names?" Noah asked.
"Actually, since I'm a super-awesome host, I've decided to let you guys pick the names," Topher said in a self-satisfied manner.
"Let's be Team Beer!" Sorrell suggested.
"Yeah!" Ethan cheered.
"Alright, Team Beer it is," Topher nodded. A yellow icon depicting a frothing mug of beer appeared in the corner of the screen.
"If they're Team Beer, can we be Team Weed?" Kristin chuckled.
"I am completely totally one hundred percent on board with this idea," Joel nodded.
"Alright, you guys can be Team Weed," Topher nodded. A green icon depicting a marijuana leaf appeared in the corner of the screen.
Many of the contestants looked dumbstruck at this.
Confessional:
River: (He facepalms repeatedly.)
Brittany: Really, guys? Don't you think that's just a little bit juvenile? Well, I guess I'd better get used to it. Team Weed to the end... I feel so silly saying that.
Jean-Marie: I'm afraid I've never tried "weed", so I cannot compare it to beer, otherwise I'd wish I was on Team Beer. Fun fact: in French, beer is considered a feminine noun, while wine is considered a masculine noun.
Frita: Why not name our teams after harmful substances that can remind us of how closely death looms over our heads? I almost prefer it that way.
"I have a question," Ray said as he raised his hand.
"Yes, Ray," Topher called on him.
"You told us to leave our backpacks in the helicopter, but now the helicopter's taking off," Ray said as he gestured to the helicopter, which was, in fact, taking off.
"Ah, yes, that," Topher said smoothly. "You won't be getting your backpacks until you make it to the next Helipad Zone, as an incentive to focus more on building relationships with your new teammates than on whatever you packed."
"Interesting twist," Noah said.
"Besides, our first challenge isn't that difficult, so you won't need any of the supplies you packed for this one," Topher said.
"And what is the challenge?" Reese inquired.
"Follow me, and I'll show you," Topher smirked as he walked away from the Helipad Zone and deeper into the island.
Topher led the contestants to what looked to be a well-manicured garden, with flowers, bushes, flower bushes, and much more plant life besides.
"Irie!" Kristin remarked.
"Très belle," Jean-Marie said with a nod.
"This... is the Garden of Madness," Topher explained.
"It doesn't seem very mad to me," Reese smiled as she gazed at a flower.
"Oh, the garden itself isn't very mad. It's rather well tempered, actually," Topher said. "No, it is you, the contestants, who will be mad."
"I don't know," Vladimir said. "This is a nice garden."
"You see this over here?" Topher asked as he gestured to a hedge at the back of the garden.
"It's a hedge. My mind is blown," River snarked.
Topher pushed on the hedge from the side, causing it to slide to the left as if it had wheels. Hidden behind the hedge was a pathway.
"Ooh! Is this where we begin exploring?" Angie asked.
"Indeed it is, Angie," Topher nodded. "Your first challenge, explorers, is a hedge maze. On the other side of this hedge maze is the next Helipad Zone. On my count, you, as teams, will race to the other side. First team to make it wins Invincibility. Last team to make it must vote one of their teammates out of the game. Oh, and no cutting through the hedges. Stick to the path. Got it?"
"Got it," Noah nodded.
"Alrighty then," Topher grinned as he procured an air horn from seemingly out of nowhere. "Three... two... one..."
Topher blared the air horn, and the contestants all ran into the hedge maze for their first challenge.
Confessional:
Reese: A nice, easy challenge through a pretty garden? What a nice way to introduce us to the game. This is going to be a fun season, I can tell. (She smiles.)
Trinity: While I would like to take the time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak, this is still a game which we still need to focus on. The last thing any of us want is to get last place.
Noah: I don't think anyone's caught onto me yet, which is good, but I do keep noticing that bald guy giving me weird looks. I don't know if he's onto me, if he's a Noah fan, or if he's just weird, all I can say is I'm glad he's not on my team.
Vladimir: The fact that this so-called "Noah" is actually fooling people is actually kind of laughable to be honest. I won't out him, though, partially because it could hint at my skillset, which I'd rather keep a secret, and partially because I'd like to work with him if we both make it to the merge.
The path had split almost as soon as the maze had started, and the teams had agreed to go separate ways: Team Weed to the left and Team Beer to the right. Just then, a helicopter flew over the maze.
"What's that about?" Angie asked.
"That's probably Topher," Brittany deduced.
"So why'd you guys all sign up for this game?" Joel asked. "I just thought it'd be a fun experience because I've been a fan of this show for a while now and I'm finally old enough to be on and it just looks like a lot of fun despite all the pain the contestants go through and besides I might even win some money at the end so who knows?"
"As I said before, my family wishes to expand our business to the United States, so the prize money should be a nice kickstarter," Jean-Marie explained.
"I'm here to prove to everyone that you don't have to be good-looking to get ahead in life and that brains matter just as much if not more than beauty," Trinity stated.
"I wanted to represent Rastafari. Not enough representation in the media," Kristin explained.
"I'd like to tour the world and see all its oceans," Angie smiled. "I could do that if I won the prize money. Plus, just playing the game could be fun."
"I want to prove that I'm more than just a pretty face by winning this game with smarts and tenacity," Brittany explained.
"What about you, Noah?" Joel asked. "I think you're the one we want to hear the most. No offense to the others or anything because I mean come on I think we were all thinking it in some capacity and-"
"If I may?" Noah asked. "I just wanted to play the game again. I enjoyed the first couple times so much that I felt like a third go was warranted."
"...You hated every second of this game," Brittany said flatly. "You never passed on a chance to complain about it."
"Oh, well, you know, I was mostly just playing it up for the cameras," Noah said.
"Eugh. They'll probably make us do something like that too," Trinity spat.
"Don't they know that it's always better to be yourself?" Angie added.
"What if you're a horrid person who skins kittens and kicks puppies and beats women and votes Republican and-" Joel listed.
"That's quite enough," Jean-Marie said, a disgusted look on his face.
"I agree," Kristin added.
"Why don't we change the subject?" Brittany suggested.
"Agreed," Jean-Marie nodded.
Confessional:
Noah: Evidently I should have done more research on Noah as a person. All I knew was that he was the fourth boot or so in his original season, so I figured he wouldn't have enough screentime to have publically recognized opinions. Guess I figured wrong.
Trinity: So far nobody seems too obnoxious, other than Angie, obviously. I'm sure I could get the votes to get rid of her anyway.
Brittany: Thankfully for me, several of my teammates are making themselves known. Noah's obviously getting a lot of attention, but Joel and Trinity are both pretty outspoken as well. Honestly, I'm just glad I'm not the focal point of everything like I usually am. Not just because it'll keep the target off of me if we lose, but because it's keeping the guys from hitting on me as well.
Team Beer, meanwhile, were making their own way through a different part of the maze.
"So who do you guys think the other team would vote out first if they lost?" Ray inquired.
"Probably Rasta bitch who won't even drink," Sorrell scoffed. "It's like, get a life why don't you? Live while you're young."
"At the rate you're going, you'll probably die before you stop being young," River remarked.
"You need to get lai-urp-laid," Sorrell told River. "Something to consider if we both survive elimination."
"Back to the topic at hand, that one zippy kid with the flat top seems like he'd wear on that team pretty quickly," Ethan stated.
"I can definitely see that happening," Ray agreed. "I'd probably vote him off too if he were on our team."
"What if we lose, which could very well happen?" Frita asked. "Who would you vote for?"
"Hey, we don't need to think so negatively," Reese said. "Let's keep our mind on winning. A positive attitude can go a long way."
"Is that why River is so short?" Ethan jeered.
"That doesn't even make any sense," River scoffed.
"Sure it does," Ethan insisted. "If a positive attitude goes a long way, then logically, a negative attitude goes a short way. You're a negative guy, hence, you're short."
"Explain why Frita's probably the tallest girl in the game then," River challenged.
"Poor genetics, mostly," Frita sighed.
"Say, Vladimir, you're pretty quiet. Anything on your mind?" Reese asked.
"Oh, I'm just a quiet person by nature," Vladimir said. "If I have something important to say, I'll say it. Otherwise, well, don't mind me."
"Playing under-the-radar, are we?" Ray asked.
"Not intentionally," Vladimir said.
"Screw under-the-radar! Let's get drunk off our asses and make as much noise as possible!" Sorrell suggested.
"I'll pass, thanks," Vladimir said with a slight smile.
Confessional:
Ray: From what I can tell, Ethan and River don't get along very well. This could be damaging to our team, but from a strategic standpoint, it opens up all sorts of possibilities. I'll keep an eye on those two.
Sorrell: This game's gonna be legit. The hedge maze kinda sucks, but I'm sure we'll get into the real meat of it later.
Frita: Nobody seems to care that I was quiet. Not that that's surprising. I wouldn't want to talk to me either. (She sighs.)
Team Weed had made it farther into the maze.
"So, hey, Noah, what was it like traveling the world as part of the game?" Angie asked.
"Oh, well, uh, not bad," Noah stammered. "I mean, the circumstances could have been better, but travel is still fun."
"I don't care for travel," Trinity stated. "Why go elsewhere when anything worth doing is already close to home?"
"I find it's quite fun to absorb the culture of another country," Jean-Marie said coolly. "I visit Italy and Germany frequently for their fine foods and beverages."
"Speaking of that, what was your favorite country to visit in World Tour, Noah?" Angie asked.
"Oh, uh, you know what, I can't decide," Noah said awkwardly.
"I'm a bit bummed that this isn't a World Tour kind of season because I think it'd be fun to see all these different countries and see what kind of challenge each one would have to offer but then again it's like I can't really sing so I wouldn't really want to do that," Joel said.
"My sentiments exactly," Brittany agreed.
"I like to sing," Kristin smiled. "I know it's a stereotype, but I love reggae. It's a very down-to-earth kind of music."
"I often listen to music without lyrics," Trinity said. "Classical, sometimes light electronic, but never dubstep. Something I can study to."
"I never considered studying to music before," Brittany thought aloud. "Maybe I'll consider that in the future."
"I never took you for the intellectual type," Trinity admitted.
"I get that a lot. Don't worry about it," Brittany said in a resigned manner.
"Maybe Noah has some cool study methods too," Angie smiled.
"I, er, I mean, everyone learns differently, so I can't think of any one universal method or anything."
"Wow. That is so true," Angie said.
"Is it weird that I don't ever really study I mean it's not like I don't need to because I get Cs most of the time but I just have trouble keeping focus on studying and my mom's not too happy about it but it's like what can you do right?" Joel asked.
"I know nothing of the Canadian educational system, so I can't really comment," Jean-Marie said.
Confessional:
Angie: Noah's way different in real life than he is on TV. He's a lot less sarcastic and confident than they make him out to be. Editing really does change a lot. Honestly, I think it's kind of cute.
Joel: My mom always says that I'll never end up anywhere good if I don't keep my grades up but I mean didn't Einstein and Bill Gates both drop out of school and just look how they turned out so I'm hoping I'm kind of like that where I'm secretly really smart and end up becoming really successful despite getting poor grades.
Jean-Marie: Canadians really are as stereotypically nice to each other as I've heard, it seems. Not that I have any complaints. Peut-être cela signifie qu'ils seront plus confiants de moi.
Team Beer, meanwhile, had also made some progress in the maze.
"Ethan, truth or truth?" Sorrell asked.
"Truth," Ethan answered.
"Okay, uh... hic! Oh, okay, no, I got- I-I got one," Sorrell said. "What was the name of the girl who took your virginity?"
"Aw, shoot... it was either Summer Johnson or Lauren Candace. Can't remember which one was first," Ethan admitted.
"Either way, I'm sure both of them are ecstatic that you advertised this on international television," River remarked.
"I wonder if he got either of them pregnant or gave them an STD," Frita said. "People always treat sex like the best thing ever, but really, it has more negative repercussions than you'd think. And yet so many people fail to realize this. I wonder how many of us were accidental pregnancies."
"Hey now, let's not think that way," Reese said, forcing a smile. "That's no way to feel. We should be happy that we're on Total Drama, right?"
"We shouldn't build our expectations up too much," Frita sighed. "At least six of our teammates are going to lose this game. Do you know what percentage chance you have of winning?"
Ray took his smartphone out of his pocket and ran the calculations.
"Seven percent," Ray said.
"Don't encourage her, dumbass," River said with a leer.
"Hey River, truth or truth?" Sorrell interrupted.
"Truth," River said.
"Have you ever even kissed a girl?" Sorrell chortled.
"Wait, when did I even become a participant in this game?" River asked, annoyed.
"He's dodging the question! He's- hic! He's, he's never even kissed a girl!" Sorrell guffawed. Ethan joined her in the laughing.
"Why answer her at all?" Vladimir asked.
"I was distracted by these guys," River said as he gestured at Ray, Frita, and Reese.
"I'm sorry," Reese apologized with a slight frown.
Confessional:
River: My teammates are garbage.
Reese: We have some really negative people on this team. I could really use a cuddle right now; all the bad feelings are really starting to get to me.
Ethan: ...You know, I think it was Lauren Candace. Dang it! She's the easy one.
Topher stood on the other side of the maze, scrolling through a social media app on his phone.
"Um, okay, rude," Topher frowned. "Why am I friends with this person again?"
Topher looked up to see one of the teams in direct sight from where he was.
"Hey, guys! Come on over here!" Topher called with a wave.
The seven teens ran up to Topher.
"Congratulations, guys," Topher grinned. "You have won Invincibility for the night. Congratulations to you, Team..."
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"Beer!" Topher concluded.
"Woo! We- hic! We did it!" Sorrell cheered.
"Yeah!" Ethan affirmed as he and Sorrell shared a hi-five.
"None of us are going to be the first boot!" Reese cheered as she pulled Ray and Frita in for a hug.
"And yet, someone will face the bitter agony of such an early defeat," Frita droned.
"Quiet, Frita," Ray scolded.
"How fortunate," Vladimir smiled.
"I'm honestly surprised we were able to pull it off," River remarked.
Just then, the seven members of Team Weed arrived on-scene.
"Team Weed!" Topher greeted. "So sorry, but you guys were the second team to arrive and, as such, will be voting someone out."
"Bummer," Kristin said.
"That sucks," Brittany frowned.
"Merde," Jean-Marie swore.
"Guess it had to happen to someone," Trinity sighed.
"Well this sucks because now we have to vote someone out but I guess on the other hand the eliminations are the real fun part of the game because it's like that's what really gets the game going, and-" Joel started.
"It's probably less fun to actually be eliminated," Angie interrupted. "Right, Noah?"
"Er, yeah, right," Noah agreed. "Totally less fun."
Confessional:
Ray: We did well today, and I didn't even get to use any of my inventions. Imagine what the future will bring for us.
Reese: Despite all the negative energy, we still pulled it off! I'm thinking that I should talk to Frita or River, though. I feel like all they really need is a friend.
Jean-Marie: I did not expect to have to vote so soon, but I know who I want gone. I hope the others agree.
Brittany: I do have a target in mind, but it might be a bit hard to get the votes against them. Might as well give it a shot, though.
The seven members of Team Weed all sat cross-legged inside a large, shoddy tent that had been set up in the Helipad Zone. Topher entered the tent with six pillows.
"Team Weed. Welcome to the Tent of Shame!" Topher announced. "After every challenge, the Tent of Shame will be set up, and it's where each elimination will happen. As you can see, I have six pillows with me here. This season, pillows are the symbol of safety, and they're all you'll have to rest your heads on tonight."
"This doesn't seem like a very effective tent," Trinity pointed out as she gestured to several holes in the tent.
"It's the Tent of Shame, Trinity," Topher smiled. "This is where you'll be sleeping tonight. The winning team will receive a larger tent with fewer holes in it. Such is the price of loss."
"I thought being at risk of elimination was the price of loss," Brittany pointed out.
"That too," Topher nodded. "Anyway, you've already cast your votes in the confessional booth, and they have all been counted. When I call your name, I'll toss you a pillow. If you're one of the six to receive a pillow, then you are safe and will have a place in this tent as well as in this game. If you don't receive a pillow, it means you got the most votes against you and that you are eliminated. So, without further ado..."
"Angie."
"Kristin."
"Jean-Marie."
"Brittany."
"Trinity."
This left Joel and Noah awaiting the final call.
"Boys, I only have one pillow left," Topher said. "One of you will get this pillow for the night. The other will leave the game. The person who is safe is..."
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"Joel," Topher finally said.
"Oh man I cannot thank you guys enough for saving me because I was seriously worried that-" Joel was cut off by Topher throwing the final pillow at his face.
"Noah, so sorry, but you have been eliminated," Topher said.
"Aw, man," Noah sighed. "Could you tell?"
"I could," Brittany said. "Not at first, but I figured it out."
"You saying 'totally' gave it away," Trinity added.
"I don't get it. What's going here?" Angie asked.
"Never mind," Noah told her. "Oh well. It was nice to meet you guys, at any rate. Hope you guys do well."
"Thanks," Kristin said with a smile.
"Noah, if you'll follow me," Topher smiled. "The rest of you, you're stuck here for the night. Get comfy. Or at least as comfy as you can in the Tent of Shame."
"I'll miss you!" Angie called as Topher and Noah left the Tent of Shame.
Topher led Noah to a helipad just outside the Tent.
"This is the Helipad of Losers," Topher explained. "The Total Drama helicopter should be here soon."
Just then, a helicopter landed on the Helipad. A door on its side opened.
"Ironic how my strategy ended up blowing up in my face," Noah said with a sad chuckle.
"I guess Noah's always doomed to be an early boot," Topher smirked.
"Yeah, remind me why Noah's a fan favorite," Noah said. "How can someone who goes early be so beloved?"
"Clearly you never saw Pahkitew Island," Topher said boastfully. "But yeah, get to stepping. You're eliminated."
"Right," Noah said with a nervous chuckle as he entered the helicopter. The door shut behind him and the helicopter began to take off.
Topher turned to the camera.
"And with that, we've introduced our contestants, our teams, our twists, and we're already down a contestant," Topher narrated. "With the elimination already affecting Team Weed, will a clear leader emerge? And will anyone take control of Team Beer? Stay tuned, dear viewers, for the next episode of Total! Drama! Explooooooooore Party!"
Votes:
Brittany: I'm starting to think this guy isn't the real Noah. If I can't trust him to use his actual identity, I won't be able to trust him in the game.
Jean-Marie: My votes goes to Joel. Nothing against him as a person, but I find him rather grating. Anyone else would do the same, non?
Trinity: Even if he is the real Noah, that'd just make him a threat due to his past experience in the game. I don't want to be up against that.
Noah: I've heard Joel's name going around, and I think I'd be fine if he left. He can be a bit much.
Joel: So Brittany approaches me to talk about the vote and honestly I'm not paying too much attention because I kinda got lost in her eyes which sounds super cheesy but there I was and it happened but I think she said something about voting Noah and I don't really have any other name in mind except maybe Trinity but whatever if people are voting for Noah then Noah it is.
Angie: I vote for Joel. Noah told me that's how he was voting, anyway, so why not support him? He's smart.
Kristin: I have heard the names of Noah and Joel mentioned for elimination. Joel seems much more confident in his abilities, which this team can use more than Noah's stammering. It's harsh, but I vote for Noah.
A/N: So yeah, Noah, or Amir, I guess I should say, was just a weird little gimmick character I felt like using. I don't even remember how exactly I came up with the idea to have a character pose as a past contestant, but I thought it'd work as a weird, kind of memorable, and hopefully not too predictable first boot. I like Noah in the real show, but alas, the Noah in this season was not meant to last.