AU. Castiel is in love with Dean but the hunter doesn't feel the same way and Cas just can't look at him without being able to have him any more. So the angel avoids his charge as much as possible, until he finds an object that could change his world forever.
Castiel's Dream.
Chapter One.
Another torturous day…hunting with the Winchesters. Torture for Castiel at least, being so close to Dean yet knowing the hunter saw him as nothing more than a friend. Having to watch him flirt with anything in a skirt that crossed their paths was becoming too much for Cas to bare. He had looked into the hunters mind searching for even the slightest hint of affection and found none. Well not the kind he had hoped so desperately for. Castiel felt ignored, depressed and so very alone. He did the only sensible thing he could do, he left.
One minute Castiel was sitting in the diner with them a pained expression on his that only Sam seemed to notice then poof, he was gone. The hunters exchanged a 'what the' look but chalked it up to the angel being called away. Three weeks and several unanswered calls for Cas to help them had them very worried. So Sam did the only thing he could think of, he grudgingly called Gabriel.
"Uh Gabe I need to talk to you" he prayed.
"So finally you need me hay Sammy?" said Gabe with a mischievous grin.
Sam groaned inwardly but said "Where's Cas? Is he ok?".
Gabriel frowned "You mean you don't know? Cassie's gone missing. Non of us can find him and I'm really starting to worry, more now that I know you two have no idea where he is either. When did you see him last?" he replied.
"About three weeks ago, he just popped out and we haven't seen him since. Shit, Gabe. What's going on?" said Sam.
Gabriel shook his head "No idea Sam. Cassie had been upset for awhile but wouldn't even tell me why. This could be very bad Sam, we have to find him" replied the angel.
"Yeah of course. Anything Dean and I can do just let us know ok" said Sam.
"I will, see you soon Sammy" and with that Gabriel vanished.
Castiel sat curled up in a tight ball, crying. He didn't want to exist any more not without Dean. It just hurt to much. He didn't understand why his father would allow him to feel such things for the older hunter but not give similar feelings to Dean. What had he done to deserve such emptiness. He felt hollow, dry and burning inside. So much hurt, sorrow and anguish welled up inside the angel that he threw back his head and screamed "WHY?".
No answer and Castiel went back to sobbing. All the angel wanted to do was die, not in his vessel but in his true form which would be the end of the angel known as Castiel. If he couldn't have Dean he didn't want anything. Nothing would be better than the agony he felt now.
A sob filled "Dean" fell form the angels lips and he wept uncontrollably.
TBC…