Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.
Archive: Fine, but if you want it, please ask first.
Feedback: Hell, yes.
Just Another Notch
"So I'm just saying that they're human and if they're human—and male—then they're horny. Period. Anything else just isn't natural."
"Well, yeah, but there isn't a snowball's chance in hell that they'd ever do it with someone who hadn't cleared some super security clearance or something."
"Maybe, but I still say that they're human and that means..."
"That they're horny. I hear you, but, c'mon—you know they all have their regulars, girlfriends or they're all friends with benefits or something like that."
The two seventeen year old girls were sitting on a bench in Robinson Park, the day was perfect; warm but not hot, the sky was cloudless and it was Spring Break. The subject were the boys—young men—who comprised most of the members of the Teen Titans.
"Okay, you know that charity thing over at the Museum this weekend?"
"God, yeah, shoot me."
"Whatever. Anyway, the Titans are supposed to be there and..."
"...You're not serious."
"Whichever one nails a Titan first wins."
"Wins what?"
Amanda rolled her eyes, God, Ashley could be so stupid. "Wins. Bragging rights. You know, wins."
Ashley thought for a second. It could be fun and it might even be a lot of fun and God knew that the stupid charity thing would suck if they didn't have something to do besides make polite small talk to their mother's friends. "Okay, but I don't think it should be random. I think we should decide which ones we're going after and then concentrate on one Titan each otherwise it's like scatter-shot or something, You've gotta know your target, aim."
"And Wonder Girl doesn't count."
"Ewww. God."
"Oh, so yeah." Amanda laughed, everyone knew she had to be a lez because she was raised on that lez island and thank God they hadn't been born there, right. "I want Robin, nice bod."
"Nah, he's way too boy scout 'probably still a virgin. I'm going for Speedy."
"I bet Robbie's a player, just a secret player. He's way too cute to not know the score." Amanda bitch slapped Ash, both of them giggling, "Speedy? No fair; talk about a slam dunk—he's like a walking slut."
"You coulda had him." Ashley knew she had this in the bag, all you had to do was read any of the tabs and you knew he'd screw anything with a heartbeat. Speedy was basically a walking hormone. She burst out laughing, "God, can you imagine Kid Flash? He'd be finished before he started and Aqualad? Well, okay, maybe but you'd have to do it in a shower or a hot tub or something and then your hair would be wet like forever." Now Robin, he'd be more of a challenge; he had that whole moral, clean living, upright thing going on. But, "Okay, you're on. And come over to my place, we can get ready together."
"We need to shop first."
"Damn right, we do. C'mon, Bergdorf's is missing us."
"Man, tell me again why I let you talk me into this?" Robin, Speedy and Kid Flash were en route to the Natural History museum, the charity thing was being held in the hall of dinosaurs and they'd agreed to go to help boost attendance and donations. Speedy would have preferred to be anywhere else.
"Because it's a good cause." Robin really wasn't in the mood for coddling Roy tonight because, truth be known, he had things he'd rather be doing as well and would, with any luck be doing them in a few hours. "Suck it up and smile; we're here."
They walked the gauntlet of flashbulbs, squealing fans and reporters with practiced good grace, stopping to smile, sign a few autographs and provide the photo ops that would be in the papers the next day.
"Robin, you're looking great; 'feeling better after that run in with Two-Face last month?"
"Hi Lois, thanks for asking. 'I'm good, 'looking forward to tonight."
"No date?"
A smile that could melt the camera lens. "Who'd have me?" He kept walking.
"Speedy. Over here. So, the rumors true that you've been seeing one of your adversaries socially? I've been hearing that..."
"C'mon, don't believe everything you hear, Lois, you know better than that. Say, don't you usually cover harder stories than a charity fund raiser?"
Another practiced smile. "Changing the subject on me, are you?"
"'Doing my best, darlin'."
She made a sound of frustration at not even getting decent sound bites from the boys; they'd been doing interviews too long and knew the tricks of the trade too well. Maybe when they came back out she'd have better luck.
The party started with the usual cocktail hour, just another excuse to schmooze the crowd, make nice and repair anything in their reputation and press which might need repairing this week. The reports from last month's fight against Brother Blood which had caused the destruction of a large part of the Brooklyn Bridge—since repaired—hadn't been pretty and the editorials had been, well, harsh.
"Make a point of being nice to the reporters, Roy; we kind of blew by them on the way in and we could use some good PR."
Roy, just barely, managed to not roll his eyes or make a comment which would make TMZ. "Okay, you got it, Robbie."
Not bothering to retort, Robin moved turned when he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Mr. Mayor, it's good to see you again..."
An hour or so later they were seated at one of the standard round tables for ten people, linen tablecloth, rented gilt chairs and a floral centerpiece, the cost of which could have fed a small nation for a week. The food was the usual grilled salmon with some exotic vegetables on the side and a sauce which the chef had spent a couple of decades perfecting. Robin made polite small talk; Alfred would be proud that his lessons hadn't been for naught, and even raised the bar by asking one of the society ladies sitting across from him if she'd do him the honor of a dance.
"You know, you should be dancing with my Leslie, my daughter, instead of me—a handsome young man like you. I bet you have to beat the girls off with a stick."
"Not really, no."
"Oh really, I've seen those articles in the magazines about you and your friends. You can't fool me, out sowing some wild oats is perfectly normal and nothing wrong with..."
The music ended, thank god. He smiled,"If you'll excuse me, I promised the Senator I'd dance with her."
The evening went downhill from there. First Roy almost ended up in a fistfight with some jackass who wouldn't leave him alone about his drug use and the scandal the Titans had been under since the story broke a few months ago. Then there were the society worthies who insisted on having their pictures taken with the 'young heroes' they all owed so much to which was followed by the nonstop stream of people demanding autographs—usually by sending a waiter over to ask but also by people who just walked up, shoved a napkin or something in their faces and with "For my son, Kevin. Thanks."
By ten o'clock Speedy was ready to walk out and Robin was hanging on to his good manners by sheer force of will. Grabbing a minute to themselves at the momentarily empty table they knew better than to accept the beers sent their way and changed the freebies for glasses of coke.
"God, you look bored; you want to get out of here?"
Robin looked up, a very pretty girl was standing beside him with another, equally pretty girl hovering by Speedy.
"We sort of have to stay until the Mayor leaves or we'll get yelled at."
The girl looked across the room. "Looks like he's about ready now. So, you guys want to?"
Robin tried to catch Speedy's eye, without luck. "Lead the way, darlin'--tell me your name again?"
"Amanda" She gestured towards her friend, the one hanging by Robin. "Ashley." Ashley was now sitting in the chair beside him, her arm laced through his and her body pressing closer with each passing second.
"It sounds great but we have to get going. 'Another time, okay?"
Roy wasn't taking this one lying down. "We have to get going? You were just saying that you were glad this thing is over so you can get out of here and have some fun, Robbie, m'friend."
Crap—damn Roy. "I also told you that I have to get home early tonight."
"No, you didn't."
Jesus. "Well, maybe I forgot, but I have to get home early, okay?"
Like Roy was going to let this offer pass them by this easily. "A word, please." A few feet away from the table and the giggling girls Roy leaned close for privacy. "We're going out with them and you're not backing out. Period."
"No."
"Yes, we are and your virtue be damned."
"Go without me."
Roy's arm was now around his shoulder. "Come with me or you'll never live this down. C'mon, one hour, that's all."
"Speedy..."
"One hour. You owe me."
"The hell I do."
"Fine, I owe you—c'mon."
Shit. "One hour and I'm leaving."
Speedy's trademark grin. "That's my man. You're gonna thank me for this."
"I doubt it."
The four left the now mostly over charity dinner, Robin and Speedy signing a few autographs on the way out, the two girls giggling and not trying too hard to stay in the background.
"So, where to?"
Amanda half laughed. "I live about two blocks from here, if you guys want to go watch a movie or something."
"Yeah, or something." Ashley was doing the best she could to help Amanda score with the old Teen Wonder, who really did have a killer bod and that was no lie. She was practically glued to him.
"A movie sounds like just the doctor ordered; Robbie, you game?" Speedy's arm was hanging on his date du jour's shoulder.
He glanced at his cell phone to check the time. "I'm supposed to be getting back, I have to work and..."
"You always have to work, man, don't you ever get tired of jumping every time the Bat tells you to? Cripes."
He didn't answer, just gave Roy a glare worthy of his mentor. "I work. It's what I do."
"And you know what they say, old chum, all work and no play..."
"Turns you into Jack Nicholson, I know." He hated this, hated Roy for getting them into this; it wasn't like they didn't get hit on all the time, they just usually knew enough to ignore it.
Ashley pouted as they stood there debating. "You guys have girlfriends, don't you? That's what the real problem is, isn't it?"
"Hell no, Robbie hasn't had a girlfriend in at least a year and me, let's just say she knows it's sort of a open relationship."
Donna would kill him if she ever heard him spouting this crap. Robin shook his head, not that Roy either noticed or cared.
"C'mon, Boy Wonder, one hour and if you're not having a good time we'll leave, sound fair?"
"Please?" Amanda pleaded so prettily that he suspected she practiced in front of a mirror and he would have been right. But—well, he hadn't had a girlfriend in over a year and, truth be told, he was ready for some action. Boy Wonder or not, he had hormones.
"Sure, okay."
The four of them walked over to the townhouse on the Monolith Square, one worth at least several million dollars. Amanda worked the security code on the front door and, if Dick hadn't been used to Wayne Manor and Roy hadn't been used to living the high life with Ollie, they would have been impressed by the place.
An older woman, clearly a housekeeper of some kind walked into the corridor in bathrobe. "Hi, Rosie. These are a couple of friends; we're just going to watch TV or something, see you in the morning."
"Miss Amanda, you know your parents rules about having people over wen they're not home."
"You're home."
"They're not. Young men, I'm sorry but I'm sure you understand."
With some relief Robin nodded. "Of course, no problem. 'Another time, okay?" He'd already turned to leave when Speedy caught his elbow and held fast.
"Rosie, it's no big deal, lighten up. We're going up to watch a movie, get over it—you know if they were here they wouldn't care."
"But they're not here and I'm..."
Amanda put her arm around the woman, smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "We'll keep the door open, all right?"
Shaking her head and muttering just loud enough to make her displeasure known she capitulated. "Midnight and not a second later, do you understand? And I want all the lights left on and the door wide open. And we're going to have a talk about this in the morning."
Of course the girl won; she always won. "I love you, Rosie." Another kiss and the four walked up the narrow stairs to the second floor media center.
"So, anyone have any opinions about what to watch?" Three walls of the room were covered with bookshelves, all packed with DVD's, alphabetized. There had to be over a thousand sitting there.
The boys shook their heads, "Whatever you want is fine." It wasn't like anyone was going to actually watch the thing, right?
Amanda picked something at random, the closet one at hand which turned out to be Avatar. Fine, it didn't matter. She put the disk in the machine, pushed some buttons, "Get comfortable."
The lights dimmed, the film started, Speedy and Ashley immediately settled on one of the oversized chairs together, seeing nothing of the film and breaking apart only to shift position, let blood circulate through cramped limbs and occasionally murmur something unintelligible to one another.
Amanda sat beside Robin on a matching large upholstered chair, waiting for him to make a move and jealous of her friend who was clearly having a pretty good time over there. In fact, she was about to suggest that she take Speedy somewhere, anywhere and get to it without an audience. Scrunching closer, she leaned against his side, linking her arm through his and earning a slightly annoyed look for her efforts.
"Would you like something from the kitchen, a drink or something?"
He seized the chance. "A glass of water would be good, if it's no problem."
"No, no problem. I'll be right back." Untangling herself, she walked down the hallway to the wet bar in her dad's study and was just getting the ice when she felt a body behind her. Turning, she wasn't surprised to see Robin standing less than an inch away, ready for more than a glass of water. "I have your water..."
"It can wait." He pulled her close to him, put his arms around her and, somehow they maneuvered themselves across the room to the long couch, the one you could sink into and get lost.
Robin lost his cape and attached collar, his gloves and his shoes, followed by his vest. Amanda kept pace and inside of about ten minutes they were ready for some serious action—both as far as their wardrobes and their mutual sense of protection.
Robin had a few moments of mental hesitation but he was a young man with the normal needs of the species and she was there and more than willing. Besides, Bruce wasn't around this week, Alfred was out with Leslie probably doing exactly the same thing and, well, like Roy always said, you pass up a chance, it may never come around again. (Jesus—he was rationalizing with words from Roy???) His second thoughts were quickly shuffled to a back burner and things proceeded as nature intended with accompanying sounds coming from the media room with Speedy and Ashley.
Just as the proverbial barrier was about to be breached, as it were, a momentary thought—fleeting and unwelcomed—slammed through his brain. Eight years of Bat training came to the fore, hard on the heels of memories of his mother's face as she took him to meet the priest in whatever parish they were playing on any given week.
He was going to hell.
This was wrong.
Respect women.
Bruce would...Bruce would pretend to be pissed. Nah, c'mon, be serious, he'd shrug it off but...
Alfred would kill him.
He didn't even know this girl's last name and, given the look of the house, her parents may well hang out in Bruce's circle and probably knew him.
"Something wrong?"
He pulled back an inch or two, not much but enough to make a statement and an awkward one at that.
"I don't even know your name."
"Amanda."
"Your last name."
"Phillips."
"'Not the point."
"So what, I don;t know yours, either." She made a playful move towards his mask. "In fact..."
"Stoppit." He sat up, shaking his head. Dammit, he wasn't sure he could walk but he had to leave. Swinging his legs off the couch, ignoring the pain, he stood up. "Look, I know this is, y'know. I have to go."
"You serious?" She couldn't believe this. Infriggingcredible.
"Yeah, sorry. Really. But this isn't—I mean, this is great but it's..." He trailed off; there was no saving this without either insulting the girl or pissing her completely off.
"Fine."
"...You're okay?"
"Fine."
"I'll...I'll let myself out. I'm sorry—really."
"Sure." He headed out the door just hearing her muttered 'Asshole' as he walked down the stairs, leaving Roy to his own devices.
It took a day, not quite a full twenty-four hours before the first items appeared on the Internet. It had evidently started on a blog, was picked up by every gossip columnist and blogger out there and spread faster than the speed of sound, light and anything else which moves really fast.
'Just spent some quality time with the big R. Won't be able to walk for a week.'
'R as in Robin?'
'Jealous?'
'Lying bitch.'
'Ask him.'
'Really?'
'And Arrowboy.'
'BS.'
'No BS.'
'Liar.'
'Screw u.'
Star Magazine: "Robin's halo slips"
People: "No Comment from Titans; 'We don't Address Rumors'"
Page Six: "Tall Tales or Titan Tryst?"
Perez Hilton: "BabyBat spreads his Wings and Soooooo Much More!"
Down in the cave no one said a word to Dick, either as Robin or as himself. Bruce ignored the scandal and Alfred didn't deign to acknowledge the tempest in the proverbial teapot. Inevitably, within a week or two, it had blown over, replaced by the latest unrelated problem involving the latest drunk starlet. The situation seemed to resolve itself without much effort on anyone's part.
Four or five years later Batman and Nightwing were on a rooftop, waiting out a stakeout. It was late and cold, a freezing rain was just starting. Dick sipped a cup of coffee while it still held some semblance of warmth.
"So that girl, the one who bragged about bagging you; what happened?"
His eyes still on the street below, he asked, "What girl?"
"The one in the tabloids when you were sixteen, the one who claimed to have nailed you after some charity thing."
"Oh. Nothing happened. I think Roy got laid but I left."
"...?"
"I didn't want to be another notch on her belt, it's all I would have been."
"You had to have known that it would end up in the gossip columes."
"I figured, yeah."
"And?"
"And I left."
"That's it?"
A car slowed below, two men got out, one carrying a crowbar. They began to jimmy the door.
"Yeah."
"Good."
Dick gave Bruce a curious look.
"What?"
"Not the reaction I expected."
"Nothing, you're smarter than I am, that's all. Let's go to work."
Two hours later, collars made, bad guys arrested, stolen art returned after dusting for fingerprints, Batman and Robin were relaxing (as much as they ever did) back in the cave.
"What if it wasn't going to end up in the tabloids?"
"Me getting laid?"
"Um-hm."
Dick, minus his costume and now wearing a pair of sweats and a tee smiled as he started up the stairs. "Good night, Bruce."
5/8/10