This fic is dedicated to my close friend, Shadowfire RavenPheonix . She is the reason why I began writing fan fiction in the first place and the reason why this fic exists. Thank you for the ideas, reviews and being my beta! You are a Gem my dear, and anyone would be lucky to have a friend like you! I also want to send a big thank you to the lovely ladies in the DA Writers and reviewers group on Google+ for allowing me to bounce ideas off of you and your wonderful encouragement!
By the way, I do not own anything Dragon Age. That, belongs to EA/Bioware.
A Desirable Nightmare
With Passion'd breath does darkness creep. It is the whisper of the night, the lie upon your sleep.
Canticle of Transfigurations 1:5
"Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt..." I say to myself while laying in bed, hoping my prayer will keep the nightmares at bay. It soothes me as I speak those familiar words with deliberation, weighing the words with careful retrospect as I slowly drift off to sleep.
~ aDn ~
I am at my desk pouring over important documents, when the urge to take a break intrudes upon my mind. I don't know how long I have been at it, but it feels like an age since I've taken some form of intermission. Sighing as I get up, my armor clanks together, disturbing the silence within my office.
Walking towards the door, I'm keen for some fresh air and as I open it, a gust of cold, crisp wind hits my face and ruffles my hair. Starting my stroll along the moonlit battlements, I gaze up a the night sky; The moon is high and the stars shine brightly amongst the Frostback Mountains. From what I can tell, it is well past midnight. Skyhold looks almost deserted, and shadows have blanketed most of the courtyard in darkness, save for the few scattered torches.
I make my way in the direction of the throne room, and slip through Solas' deserted office. The main hall is silent, except for the crackle of fire and my lone footsteps on the floor as I enter. How quiet the hall seems in the dead of night; it comes as a pleasant change.
I slowly walk towards the war room to look over some of the operations that are planned for the troops. It is not often I get a chance to do such things undisturbed. Quite often, I have people coming and going from my office in a constant stream, giving me little chance to review anything for more than a few moments at a time.
Passing through Lady Montilyet's study, I open the door and enter the passageway to the war room. My footsteps echo down the hall, occasionally being drowned out by the wind as it whips by the crumbling wall to my right. It sees me scowling; I am irritated that the masons haven't fixed it yet. Perhaps I should discuss it with them, come morning.
Another blast of air affronts the gap in the brickwork and I shiver involuntary, as I reach the final door; It creaks open loudly when I put my weight against it. Most of the room is dark, except for the odd moon ray, which cascades eerily from the windows. I fumble my way around to where the matches are found and striking one, I begin to light the candles that surround the massive table, illuminating the room in a soft, golden glow.
"Now then, to work." I say to myself as I scrutinize the lay of the table in front of me, eying the next plan of attack. For quite some time, I move the pieces about the map and theorize in detail how the Inquisition will take and hold Adamant Fortress.
I am in deep thought when, to my surprise, I hear the door open behind me. I turn quickly, with my hand upon the hilt of my sword, ready for whoever wishes to approach, may it be friend of foe.
Standing at the door, a figure walks forward into the moonlight and I am undone. She wears a long, flowing chemise nightgown, stopping just before her bare feet. Her curvaceous form shows through the fabric, stirring thoughts within my mind that are very...inappropriate. I swallow hard as she slowly makes her way towards me.
"In-Inquisitor, what are you doing up at this hour of the night?" I ask nervously, not quite sure what to do.
"I could ask you the same thing, Commander." she replies, saying my title with intensity, feeding the flames of desire within me.
"I-I was taking a break from my reports when I found myself here, at the war table, and figured I would go over our offensive p-position, when we attack Adamant."
"And did you?" she asked, a seductive tone laden in her words.
"Yes Inquisitor, quite."
"Please, call me Leona."
"A-As you wish...Leona."
She now stands mere inches away from me and I have backed up to the table's edge; I've no avenue of retreat left to me. The scent of rose water and soap assails my nose, making it hard to focus on anything but her and I blush profusely.
Her hands find my armored chest and she slides them slowly upward, encircling my neck. I stare down into her hooded eyes while catching my arms moving, without my consent, around her waist.
"I have a confession to make. I have been watching you, Cullen, and I like what I see."
She moves to stand on her toes as she brings her lips to mine in a searing kiss, in which I loose all sense of propriety.
I deepen it, and she moans into my mouth with pleasure. Snaking my arms lower, I reach her pert bottom and lift her up, turning as I go and put her upon the table behind us. Once she's seated, I move my hands and thread them in her hair as I kiss her heatedly again and again, a ravenous barrage that, secretly, I have wanted for longer than I should admit.
Her hands roam over my plated cuirass until she finds the ends of my surcoat tucked into my belt. She pulls the tails free unceremoniously, then, goes for my buckle and golden cord, fumbling with it until it is loose. I continue to kiss her, moving my way up her jawline and her breath becomes ragged, rasping in my ear while another moan escapes her lips.
As my sword clatters to the ground with the leather, her hands are once again at my shoulders, this time, trying to remove my surcoat completely. I aid her, pulling away only for a few moments to let it drop down into my awaiting hands.
She looks at me, her eyes smoldering and her lips swollen as she speaks.
"Prepare the board, commander."
It takes me a moment to catch what she means and I tear my gaze from hers to examine the war table. In one fell movement, I sweep the pieces off of the map with my forearm, sending them scattering across the stone floor in a flurry.
I take my surcoat and drape it over the table, turning it into a temporary covering to give the table some cushion.
When I return to her side, she looks at me hungrily and I can't but help kiss her fervently again. My hands begin to roam over her body, moving from her waist to her breasts. I hold one of each in my palms and begin to tease her nipples through her nightgown. My thumbs brush her pebbled flesh, stroking them in a circular fashion and it is my turn to groan as my arousal presses painfully against my trousers, begging to be set free.
I lick and suck at her neck and collar bone, the ties of her nightgown falling down over her alabaster shoulders, giving me more than enough access. She tries to undo the straps of my gorget, but I prove to be too distracting for her to get them completely free.
I am instantly frustrated with the amount of armor I still have on. I growl in annoyance as I pull away from her abruptly and make quick work of it, letting both my gorget and cuirass fall to the ground noisily, followed by my pauldrons and vambraces. Next, I bend down and remove both my armored boots, tossing them carelessly aside.
"That's much better. Now, where were we?" I say, my voice becoming rough, heavy with a carnality I usually work hard to hide, as I stand.
Her breathing is uneven; I watch her chest rise and fall in rapid succession, an effect of her obvious excitement. She leans back slightly on the enormous table and her legs fall apart, inviting me to step between them. I bend my head, licking and nipping at the valley between her breasts, relishing the taste of her. I gently pull one breast free of its constraints, and using my hot breath, it becomes uneven with gooseflesh.
I take her nipple into my mouth and she hisses loudly as I stroke it with my tongue. Her reaction is glorious. I watch intently as she throws her head back, whimpering, and I chuckle into her bosom, the vibrations causing a ripple throughout her body. The scratchy stubble upon my face has made her supple skin blossom, and I drink in the sight of it as it transforms from ivory to a pale pink.
I can bear it no longer. I slowly draw back on her nipple until it pops noisily out of my mouth and I make to move her farther on the table, but she has beaten me to it. She slides back and down while I pursue her until she is once again beneath me.
I press my manhood into her thigh, groaning as the sweet friction fills my loins and she rises up to meet me, arching her back in one exquisite movement that sets me ablaze. I wrap my arm around the small of her back and hold her steadfast to me, the other hand trailing down her midriff which ends at her hip. I gather the flowing fabric in my fist, pulling it up until I feel its hem reach my fingertips. We madly ravish each other's lips and I shift my weight to one side, making room for my hand to skim her inner thigh. My fingers move slowly upwards until I hit the soft curls covering her folds, skimming her sensitive skin with a feather light touch. I move forward and parting her gently, I find her sensitive bud, damp with her arousal. Grazing my fingers over it, I want to test her reaction; I am not disappointed either, when her hips abruptly jerk in response.
She gasps and turns her head to the side, leaving me access to her slender neck. My teeth graze down her strained skin and I tease her again with another swipe of my fingers at her core, making her cry out softly. I then remove my pinned arm from underneath her, and place it parallel to her face, taking care not to trap her soft waves beneath it.
"Maker's breath, Leona..." I rasp as I nuzzle her neck, sending sparks of pleasure throughout her as I, once more, swipe across the responsive bud. She quickly becomes putty in my hands as I boldly enter her delicious heat, savoring the way she feels around my finger.
"Cullen..." she moans, urging me onwards. I add another digit to the onslaught as I begin stroking her adeptly from the inside.
The immediate need to have her hand upon my manhood suddenly overwhelms me. I cease my fondling of her most intimate parts to unlace my britches in one swift motion and guide her hand down, desperate to feel her velvety touch. Setting her hand free to roam amongst my smallclothes, she rubs her hand lightly over the apex of my length, slickening up her palm with my pre-seed before stroking me with painstaking effort. My breath hitches and I shudder, closing my eyes in complete bliss.
Re-entering her with haste, she brazenly gasps at my sudden intrusion. It does not take long until she is once again writhing beneath my hand with every oscillation of my fingers. I open my eyes eagerly, wanting to watch her like a voyeur as we begin our steady climb to ecstasy.
I notice her breathing begins to change, evolving into something more akin to a pant, and I pick up speed accordingly. Bucking her hips in a wild, rhythmic fashion, I smirk at the fact I am the one who is causing it. The sight sends yet another rush of sensation to my groin and she encourages it to increase with each proficient stroke, driving me onwards toward my own completion.
As if a bolt of lightning hits me, I come up with another facet that I am keen to use in our illicit encounter; one that is sure to make her sing out in titillation.
I grin against her soft lips while I kiss her in a tender fashion, removing my fingers from her molten core, causing her to mewl disappointedly.
"Have no fear, I'm not done with you...yet." I chuckle softly and she releases her grip upon my hard length, allowing me glide down her glorious body.
I situate my face between her silken legs, each arm hooking around and holding her thighs apart. Her nightgown pools around her hips, bearing her most intimate parts to me. I breathe her heady scent in and lick my lips before allowing myself the gratification of savoring her with my mouth. With a wicked flick of my tongue, I send her hips rocking, driving me to repeat the provocative action again and again until an intense howl of pleasure escapes her lips and she jerks about, orgasm ripping forcefully through her body.
The veil of desire eventually surrenders and her breathing slows as I release her from my grip and sit up beside her, running my hands softly over her frame and draw invisible lines upon her bare legs.
"That was...amazing." She says contentedly as she smiles up at me before continuing. "and we aren't finished yet, either..." hinting at my still throbbing member as it twitches against me.
"Ah, yes. That." I say looking down, slightly embarrassed that she noticed I hadn't achieved my own orgasm yet.
"Fuck me." She professes.
"Pardon?" I ask, her course language startling me with it's connotation.
"You heard me, Commander. Fuck. Me."
I stare at her for a moment, not sure to heed her words but in the end my body makes the choice. I ache for my release.
Grabbing her up in my arms with a force rivaling the might of a high dragon, I kiss her hard on the mouth, surprising her with its fierceness.
I forcefully lay her down on the table, her head cushioned by the fur collar of my surcoat, and move to cover her body with my own as I impetuously fondle the breast that, up until this point, I have neglected. Bending my head low, I take her nipple into my mouth and softly bite the delicate flesh. I feel her respond, arching herself into me once more.
I continue to lick and suck her hardened nipple until she is raving beneath me, searching for her own glorious friction and I crane my neck to watch the sublime expression that covers her face.
Letting the nipple slip from my mouth, I move up and give her a frenzied kiss before I set my sword at her sheath, tempting us both with transcendent resistance.
"Maker have mercy..." I all but whisper the words as my heart begins to race in anticipation.
With one swift movement I burry myself inside of her, eliciting a long, drawn out moan from her perfect mouth, making my body quiver in response. I start to move, slowly at first. I am determined to feel every inch of her, inside and out.
"Andraste's tits...this is...glorious." I declare as I am surrounded by sensation; a slow burning heat that is coiling itself within me while I stroke her insides.
"Harder...please, Cullen." She pleads, her voice breathless and rough with excitement and I heed her command. I begin to thrust with vigor, allowing soft grunts of satisfaction to fall from my lips each time my manhood fills her entirely.
I become enveloped in the act, closing my eyes and focusing on the sensations that wash over me. I focus in on her taut womanhood moving snugly around my length; its silken texture caressing as I glide seamlessly in and out of her. Then, my attention is directed to the almost melodic way she moves, her hips rolling like waves, perfectly in time with my own. It is more than enough to send any man over the edge and it drives me to a frenzied state.
And yet, for some inexplicable reason I am not achieving any relief whatsoever; it seems to be just out of reach. In fact, it is pushing me more towards maddening frustration than anything else.
Maker preserve me, I will have my release!
Without warning, I feel cool hands upon my back, moving upwards, over my shoulders and down towards my chest. Then, a pair of smooth lips caress my neck seductively licking and sucking at my skin.
"Having a party without us I see? How very naughty of you both! Don't you think so, Josie?" The voice of Leliana fills my ears and I sense a hand squeezing my bottom as I deliriously rut the inquisitor into oblivion.
"Oh yes, Leliana dear, they have been absolutely wicked! Embarking on such an endeavor without first consulting us. I truly thought her worship and the Commander would know better than that." Josephine rebuttals, giggling as she begins to slide a hand over my perspire laden ribs. She then threads her hands through the spattering of hair on my chest, and encircles a finger around my nipple teasingly.
I open my eyes at their voices as sweat drips down my brow, threatening to blur my vision. I blink profusely and quickly rub my forearm across them, hoping it will solve the problem. I want, no, I need to see what they will do to Leona as I toil over her glistening curves, encouraging her orgasm to transpire. If this is the only way I will have my release, I will gladly watch as the Inquisitor as she is seductively besieged from all angles.
I see the Spymaster feverishly kiss the inquisitor, her tongue visibly dipping into Leona's mouth for a taste. The inquisitor responds in kind, swirling her own tongue, battling Leliana's for possession and crying out softly against her lips as I jostle her upon the table.
I then find the ambassador at Leona's bouncing breasts, sucking greedily on one erect nipple and playing with the other, twirling it between two skilled fingers. The action makes her gasp and the inquisitor's breathing becomes ragged while she nears her completion. Watching the glorious scene laid out before me fuels the desire to finish all the more, and my pace accelerates with heated urgency.
The inquisitor immediately cries out in rapture, wildly quaking and I feel myself finally loose control with her. I throw my own head back and a loud, animalistic growl escapes my lips while my hips jerk in violent spasms; my seed is expelled in ferocious spurts within her, forcing my manhood to twitch as she clenches around me. I succumb to the sensations my treacherous release has bestowed and my vision goes black. Brightly coloured sparks fly across my eyes and I revel in my lust-driven gratification for a time, as it has been far too long since I have tangled with the opposite sex in this way.
Utterly spent, I collapse upon Leona, my head fitting perfectly into the crook of her neck. Our chests heave in unison as we come down from our intimate excursions and I feel her soft curves mold into my hard lines. The hands and legs of both Leliana and Josephine rub my perspired body, kneading and grabbing, as they decide who I will be promiscuous with next. They whisper illicit acts in my ears they wish for us to preform but, in my exhaustion, I cannot make sense of their requests.
Just as I was beginning to recover, I hear a distinct voice from behind me.
"Room for one more?" He asks and my eyes fly open and I sit up in an instant.
Dorian.
My eyes bulge out of my skull as I whip around to see the Altus at the end of the table in no less than a snuggly fitting silken undergarment.
"Maferath's Balls! W-What are you doing here?!"
I hear melodic chuckling from beside me and Josephine's voice changes. It begins to sound dark and seductive, almost voracious in nature.
"We invited him, Commander. We were hoping you wouldn't mind..."
My vision distorts and I turn to look questioningly at the trio, only to find three desire demons in their place. I abruptly shift my gaze back to Dorian, and he too, has changed into lecherous beast.
Immediately scrambling back, I feel an overwhelming sense of shame and panic take it's hold on my body.
"No! No, Leave me be! Stay back! I'm warning you!" I lament.
"Oh, come now Commander, don't be shy. We were just wanting to have a bit of fun is all..." The demon who wears a mockery of Dorian's features, responds, as he tries to make a grab for me. I clamber backwards, struggling to get away. In my desperation to escape I loose track of my surroundings; I careen off of the war table and crash to the floor in a heap.
~ aDn ~
I sit up panting, and find myself on the ground beside my bed.
"Thank the Maker!" I exclaim, realizing it was just another nightmare. I rub a trembling hand down my face, my stubble tickling my palm, as I sigh in relief. I shiver as a light breeze blows in from my damaged roof and I become aware that my smalls are uncomfortably damp and sticky.
"Maker's breath. What am I, a green recruit?" I groan, as I put together what happened and go to find another pair of smallclothes.
~ aDn ~
Morning comes all to swiftly and I take a quick bath before getting dressed, cleaning off the remnants of my transgressions from the previous night. Looking up at my rundown roof, I remind myself to talk to the masons about fixing it and the hallway to the war room, as our supplies are now overabundant. The sun begins to fill my room with light and I deem it time to start my day as I get out of the wooden tub and wrap a towel around my waist. Now dressed in my usual attire, I head down to my office, picking up some important papers on the way to the main hall for breakfast.
While I munch at my porridge, I look over the documents I have brought. Pausing to take a sip of my tea, a recruit marches towards me and salutes.
"Ser. The inquisitor has requested your presence in the war table."
"Thank you. That will be all." I say, dismissing him and he leaves.
The war table. Flashbacks of my nightmare take over my mind, making my face turn a similar shade to spindleweed and I immediately dread setting foot anywhere near there, but I must- the inquisitor has requested it.
I try to push the images from my mind- to gain some control over my senses, as my nightmares must not interfere with the Inquisition's dealings, just as my lyrium withdrawal shouldn't.
I stand, fighting the urge to flee back to my office and I walk towards the war room instead. Moving through the Ambassador's study, I try to ignore the strange sense of dèja vu I have, while continuing on through the hallway to the war room.
I take a steadying breath as I reach the heavy wooden door before pushing against it and allowing it to fall open.
All at once, the heads of the Inquisitor, Leliana and Josephine turn to acknowledge me, standing directly behind that sodding war table.
I feel a heated flush rise to my face, as my thoughts try and bombard me with all sorts of graphic clips from the night previous.
Lilliana shoots a cheeky look to the inquisitor and her face blushes a charming shade of pink as Josephine begins to giggle.
Maker preserve me.
"Ah, Cullen. We were just talking about you!" Leliana mentions, almost teasingly as I stand in the doorway. I am quickly faltering.
No. I cannot do this. Absolutely not.
I turn on my heal and walk out at a break neck speed, fleeing the scene without so much as a word.
Maker's breath, I need some air.
Just as I get to the door leading to the throne room, it opens unexpectedly and who else but Dorian appears from behind it.
My eyes grow wide and all colour drains from my face as I stand there, frozen on the spot.
"Good morning Commander, I was just about to find you. Care for another game of chess?" Dorian says, in that self-assured voice of his.
"Uh...I have...uh...some urgent business to attend to." I manage to croak out as I find my legs and make a break for my quarters. Once in the safety of my office, I bar the doors behind me and spend the rest of the day working in silence, only letting in a few of my recruits in for important matters.
~ aDn ~
It takes me a few weeks to once again enter the war room without issue, let alone talk to anyone of significance, without blushing profusely or avoiding them altogether.
I pray to the Maker, that nightmare, never returns.