If Murphy ever found out about this, he'd never hear the end of it. As it was, he wasn't entirely certain he'd be able to hide the thing; he might just get to use it once and then have to throw it out.
Pity, really, because it felt so fucking good. Nice and tight and slick and cool but heating up fast and the friction was just a little too much, making it perfect.
They hadn't been having any luck picking up women together. When one woman told them she wasn't interested in two guys at once, they got the picture. Nevermind that wasn't what they were looking for.
So they decided to split up. They'd fought over who could have the flat for the night before Doc refereed a coin toss. Connor accidentally used his double-sided coin and even though the flip was against him, Doc finally declared (well, stammered) that they could both use it and to hell with what the women thought about that.
Last Connor saw, Murphy was enmeshed in a merry group at a large table, laughing freely with his arm slung across the shoulders of a pretty brunette. Connor was headed out the door with a slightly less attractive brunette who more than redeemed herself with the suggestions she'd whispered in his ear at the bar.
Between McGinty's front door and the lift in his building, everything went wrong.
"Christ," Connor thought. "Only me. This shit never happens to Murph." This shit being the slap war between his sure thing and her boyfriend taking place in the alley. Or was it her husband? He couldn't tell, but the guy was definitely the father of her kids. Or at least some of them, but maybe not all. Which was apparently just one facet of the fight.
Not wanting the embarrassment of returning to the bar alone and very obviously not freshly laid, Connor resigned himself to a solitary session and he'd just make up a convincing lie about going back to her place for some fun.
He headed to the adult video store a couple blocks away and hoped no one he knew would see him duck into the video booths in back. But when he got there, he learned that the state had shut down the video booths, so he wandered over to the magazine rack to find something to take home.
That's when he saw it. It looked like a large black barrel flashlight with a pinkish top. But the top was moulded to look like a vagina. Upon closer inspection, he saw that the bottom of the barrel-tube came off and on the other side was a very narrow hole that began at the other end and that was definitely interesting.
He scanned the shelf he'd found it on and saw that there were a variety of styles. There was a mouth, an ass, and a plain version that looked disturbingly like the coin slot on the piggy bank he'd had as a kid. The boxes pictured a cutaway of the product inside and he saw that each one had a different texture inside. The only thing he didn't see was a vagina model. That part of the shelf was completely empty save for the display model.
They were pretty expensive, and even a little money was a lot of money, but damn if this didn't look like just the thing he should have. His mind made up before he knew it, Connor began trying to choose one.
The piggy bank looking one was not an option.
He was secretly grossed out by blowjobs, given his love of kissing and his aversion to sucking his own dick.
But he'd always wanted to try anal. And there was a version labeled "Ultra Tight" with a very narrow and completely smooth tunnel that seemed perfect for that.
And when he got it home, he discovered it was. Well, after a few mishaps, anyways. Never one for reading the instruction booklet, he'd been rather painfully upset to discover that the hole was already occupied by a plastic rod. Extracting it, it occurred to him the thing might not be clean, so he set to washing it, this time reading the instructions. Good thing, too, cause he would have used soap and apparently that was this contraption's Kryptonite.
When it was finally ready for use, he wasn't. In his excitement over his discovery, he hadn't even glanced at the magazines, much less actually bought some. He would have to dig out the tattered old mags they'd had for years, no matter how bored he'd become with them.
Flipping through the pages for the first time in at least a year, everything was the same as he'd remembered. But now, he thought about what it would feel like to fuck each model in the ass. And that was all the difference in the world to Little Con.
When he slid it onto himself for the first time, he nearly screamed at the pressure encasing him, reshaping the head of his cock into a point as it burrowed further in.
He was sitting on the couch with his legs spread and his cock jutting up and his hands pushing this exquisite find onto himself. The hand motions were almost identical to every solo session he'd ever had but the feeling was above and beyond his wildest dreams.
He couldn't give this up for anything, not even the certainty that Murphy would find it and rag him about it for the rest of their lives.
The smooth tunnel was so tight but the whole thing felt like real flesh and had the same give, the same elasticity and Holy Mother of fucking God it was tight!
He couldn't hold back the roar that ripped from his lungs as his body literally went into convulsions and he could feel the tight flesh around him resisting as his come rose from his balls to pulse out of him in a torrent of pleasure.
It was a full ten minutes after he came before the constricting toy let his cock soften enough to slip out, the contraption clattering to the floor because there was no way he was capable of lifting his arms from the couch and removing it gently from himself.
It was three cigarettes later when he finally pulled on a pair of boxers and made his shaky way on weak legs to the sink to wash it.
Hiding it was a whole 'nother issue, but ultimately he decided to put it back in its box, wrap the box in a paper grocery sack and stuff it towards the bottom of his laundry bag, but not far enough down that it would distort the fabric and flash a neon sign that read "Connor is hiding something here, Murphy."
When Murphy and his bedmate showed up an hour or so later, Connor remained quiet under the covers and drifted off to sleep.