"You know, you're a loser," someone said. Tony opened his eyes and yawned. That was a weird dream? "I'm still here!" the voice growled and Tony jumped.
"We're ALL still here!" another voice growled.
"Wait...who are you? What do you want?" Tony stammered. Someone snorted.
"I don't feel good," a child's voice complained. Tony turned on the light. Three people were standing in his bedroom, but their eyes were all white. The child was crying.
"What...what do you want?" Tony asked.
"Nothing much...we're all just going to hang around here," one of them said, "I'm Tom," he introduced himself.
"I'm Frank," the other one said, "That's Tony," he said and pointed to the child. Tony blinked several more times. He reached for his gun. "Wont work Tony," he chuckled. "We're not exactly your normal kind of people," he grinned. Tony took his gun and pointed it at the three of them in turns. He grabbed his phone. "Now, see? This is silly, you don't need to call Gibbs!" Frank said. Tony pressed speeddial.
"DiNozzo?" Gibbs sounded sleepy.
"Boss...I...uh..." Tony wasn't sure how to proceed.
"What's wrong?" Tony could hear him struggle into his clothes with one hand.
"I don't know! There's two grown people and a kid in my bedroom...They're not really doing anything, I have my gun and I'm calling you but...I...uh..." Tony said quietly.
"Tony Tony Tony, you know, this is all wrong," Tom said.
"You hear that?" Tony asked.
"Hear what? Are you okay DiNozzo? I'm coming over there," Gibbs said.
"Thanks Boss...I guess I'll just...hang out with my friends?" Tony asked.
"I'll be right over," Gibbs hung up.
"You're so pathetic," Frank snorted. "Fucking hell Tony, you're gonna feel so stupid when you figure out we're just a figment of your imagination," Frank laughed loudly.
"Wait...what?" Tony asked.
"Gibbs isn't coming. He's calling the cops, you're ending up in the looney bin," Tom grinned as he spoke.
"No! That's not true! You're real, right?" Tony asked.
"No," the child said and looked up at him. It was himself as a kid!
"No....no no no! You're standing right there!" Tony's voice quivered.
"Not really," Frank said, "You'd THINK we were real but we're not," Frank grinned as he leaned on the wall. "You're crazy Tony," Frank chuckled. The door swung open and Gibbs stared at him.
"Who're you talking to?" Gibbs asked. Tony gaped at him. Frank, Tom, and little Tony was standing right in front of him!
"You don't see them?" Tony asked.
"See who?" Gibbs frowned as he made his way over to Tony. "Tony, what's going on?" Gibbs asked.
"Oh God...I'm going insane!" Tony said.
"Told you," Frank laughed.
"SHUT UP!" Tony yelled. Gibbs grabbed him.
"Tony, look at me, did you take something? Someone give you something?" Gibbs asked.
"NO! I've been here all weekend, I haven't taken anything, not even a drink!" Tony said. "Please don't put me in the crazy house Boss! PLEASE," Tony begged. Gibbs worried his lower lip. "Boss?" Tony looked at Gibbs.
"Tony...you can't deal with this on your own," Gibbs said.
"No! Boss please!" Tony begged.
"I'm sorry Tony," Gibbs said. Tony sank down onto the bed.
"I did tell you he would do this," Tom grinned. Gibbs went out of the bedroom and into the livingroom, talking on his phone. Tony felt tears run down his face. "Make a run for it."
"What?" Tony asked, turning to face Tom.
"I'm serious man, living on the streets somewhere is better than facing a life amongst the creepy," Tom said.
"He's right you know...there'll be medication, there'll be crazy people," Frank said.
"Just leave me alone," Tony whispered. "Gibbs knows what's best!" he sniffled, burrying his face in his hands as he sobbed quietly.
"Jesus fucking CHRIST are you pathetic or WHAT?" Tom laughed at Frank's outburst. "You get the hell out of here RIGHT now! Are we clear?" Tom growled. He grabbed Tony's arm who gasped in pain. "I'll do worse than this if you don't get your lazy ass out of here!" Frank was angry as hell. Tony started breathin shallow, afraid, and unsure of what to do. Gibbs always knew best, right? Always? Tony pressed into a corner, holding his hands over his ears.
"Leave me alone!" Tony hissed quietly, squeezing his eyes shut.
"BOOH!" Tom yelled and Tony jumped, staring straight into his face. "We're never gonna leave you alone Tony," Tom grinned. "The medications they will give you will make you sleepy," Tom said, "They'll drug you," Tom continued, "Keep you in restraints, and so on," Tom grinned.
"No they won't!" Tony whispered. Gibbs came back in, he looked worried as he sat down next to Tony. Tony stared at him. Gibbs grabbed him and pulled him close. "I'm scared," Tony whispered.
"I know," Gibbs said, running his hand through Tony's hair. "It'll be okay, come on, I'll drive you to the hospital," Gibbs said.
"I don't want to go Boss," Tony said quietly, sitting up.
"Tony, you know I only want to help you, but I can't help with this, okay?" Gibbs asked. Tony saw McGee and Ziva standing in the doorway.
"So you brought McGee and Ziva to catch me if I try to run?" Tony asked.
"If necessary," Gibbs said. Tony sighed and shook his head, curling as tight as he could.
"That's it Tony, keep resisting," Tom said.
"I won't go," Tony said firmly.
"You have to," Gibbs wasn't about to back down on this. Tony shook his head.
"I always thought you'd know what's best for me but I was wrong!" Tony hissed angrily. Gibbs sighed.
"Tony...just come with us, don't make this harder," Gibbs said.
"HARDER?" Tony yelled and Gibbs flinched, "Make it harder for who? You or me? Huh? You just want me out of the way so you can get some work done!" Tony growled angrily, tears running down his face.
"Tell him Tony! TELL HIM!" Frank bellowed.
"You're an ASSHOLE!" Tony yelled and punched Gibbs. Gibbs grabbed him and they fought until Ziva and McGee managed, along with Gibbs, to detain him. "LET ME GO!" Tony yelled angrily, trying in vain to fight them off as they pulled him into the livingroom.
"Tony, TONY!" Gibbs growled, grabbing Tony's face. "Calm down...whatever they're saying, this isn't you," Gibbs said. Tony was heaving for air, but all fight seemed to leave him. "I'm going to pack a bag for you and I'll drive you myself. No McGee, no Ziva," Gibbs said. Tony nodded, and Ziva and McGee released him. Gibbs went into the bedroom.
"Now's your chance," Frank said. Tony was on his feet, and out in an instant, pushing Ziva and McGee down so they struggled to get up. He knew they were coming after him, but for now at least, he was safe. No phone, no wallet, nothing did he have right now. He just ran. He didn't know how far he ran but he kept running. He finally stopped after swimming in the river, shivering, he brought himself into a cave, trying to warm up. "Awesome buddy!" Frank grinned. Tony smiled. "You're not going to let them find you, right? We'll warn you if anything happens," Frank said. Tony nodded. In the sun which had popped out, he dried quickly. He realized his feet were bleeding and he ripped his shirt up to make bandages for them. "You need to get moving again Tony," Frank said. Tony nodded, and started walking down the stream.
"He doesn't remember us," Tom sighed.
"Why should I remember you?" Tony asked. Tom grabbed little Tony and dragged him along. "I've never met you," Tony said as he climbed up on a stone and started jumping from stone to stone.
"You have...you've just blocked the memory," Frank said.
"What memory?" Tony asked.
"Keep going," Tom said. Tony kept going. "Okay, here," Tom said. "Stop," Tom finished and Tony stopped.
"What're we doing here?" Tony asked.
"You don't remember? You sometimes came here as a kid," Tom said.
"Your father came with you," Frank said. "We were with you," Frank continued.
"What? I would remember that," Tony said angrily.
"He fucked you up pretty good Tony. Actually he fucked you too," Tom said. "We did too," Tom continued. "Don't you remember?" Tom asked. "Show him Frank," Tom grinned. A flash of someone over him, in him, himself screaming, the water, trying to escape, being held down, ran through Tony's mind. He stepped backwards.
"No," Tony whispered hoarsly.
"That's why we're here," Frank said, "To help you get rid of the memories," Frank continued.
"No," Tony whispered again.
"Hit him again Frank!" Tom said. Frank did. Images of his father, Frank, Tom, searing pain, more pain, crying, blood, it all rang through his head over and over again. "Believe us now?" Tom asked.
"Can you help me get rid of the memories?" Tony whispered. Tom nodded and Frank grinned. Little Tony was gone.
"We can...but there's only one way," Tom said with a grin and pointed at the water.
"Drown myself?" Tony gasped. Tom and Frank nodded. "But...okay...will you go away?" Tony asked. Tom and Frank nodded. Tony bit his lower lip, then picked up a huge stone, and marched his way into the water. He let the stone fall on his hands so he couldn't panic and break the surface.
----0----
They found him floating five days later.
Gibbs didn't speak about it to anyone.
Kate and McGee quit and searched for other jobs.
Abby went into denial and will still only speak about Tony as if he's alive.
Ducky retired and Palmer tried his best to keep working.
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AN: I know it's a shitty fic and a shitty ending. I'm just working through some crap right now. I love you my friend, RIP. I still miss you no matter how much people said it was your illness, you still belonged in this world.