The Tainers arrived two days after Leo's screaming meltdown in the holodeck. They had, of course, been contacted as soon as the Enterprise was able to make contact, but all concerned had thought it best to wait until Leo at least had come to some sort of grips with the situation. Picard had personally contacted Juliana Tainer after the night he spent in Leo's quarters, reassured now that while deeply wounded she was at least coming to terms with the reality of her loss... as much as any of them were able, in any case.
"Dr. Tainer," Picard began, and found he was unable to continue. How do you invite a mother to her son's funeral? On the viewscreen Juliana Tainer appeared drawn but calm, and as graciously insistent on doing things her way as she'd ever been.
"Jean Luc. I think on this occasion we should address each other as family, and not Starfleet functionaries."
"I'm grateful Juliana, but I don't think I qualify as family."
A fond smile replaced the sad one. "Perhaps this time what others think should take precedence. My husband and I know well that Data considered you far more than a commander, and Leo would agree, I think, in terms that would leave little space for argument."
Now a smile pulled at Picard's mouth as well. It was as rare to him lately as it felt welcome now.
"You have me there. Juliana, please come as soon as it's convenient. My earlier concerns have been resolved somewhat, and with some help Leo has come back from her 'hiding place'." Unknown to him, the memory of that short angry journey changed his expression. Juliana, as always, missed nothing.
"I'm glad you were there to help her. Pran and I will depart by day's end, you may expect us tomorrow by 1000 hours."
"Lieutenant O'Reilly, subspace communication on secure channel for you."
Lieutenant B'rek's level voice made Leo jump a mile. She'd returned to "their" (my?) quarters earlier that morning, and found she could handle it okay if she didn't look too closely at the shared possessions she and Data had collected since they'd met. They weren't numerous but it took a bit of concentration to avoid them. In the end she took a book – one she'd brought with her originally, not one of Data's gifts to her – and was absorbed in a volume of Poe. The comlink rang just as the black cat was about to be seized by the throat.
"What?!!"
"I'm sorry to disturb you, Lieutenant. There is a subspace communication for you on a secure channel."
"Sorry, Lieutenant. I was kind of focused on something. Origin of communication?"
"Unknown, but the security code has been accepted."
"Okay, thanks."
She went to her desk (10 paces from Data's desk, and she had to walk a bit of roundabout to avoid looking at it-- magical thinking -- it had worked well so far).
"Lieutenant O'Reilly here."
"My dear, dear Leo."
The voice was unmistakable, and entirely devoid of melodrama or clever nicknames.
"On visual." Leo inhaled a gasp before she could speak. People who meant a great deal to her were going to be arriving soon, people who in spite of their importance were prey to not keeping in touch except on special occasions. Or occasions like this. Leo was struggling to reconcile the pleasure of these reunions with the reason why they were happening.
"Lwaxana. Deanna said you were going to be in touch." The face that greeted Leo was as elegant as ever, though dimmed by genuine grief. Leo realized there had been very few times she'd seen Lwaxana's expression so… "unadorned by excess". "Genuine, but adorned by excess" was the affectionate description both Deanna and Leo used to describe Lwaxana Troi's typical demeanor.
"Oh my dear, I have nothing clever to say…" for a moment Leo thought Mrs. Troi was going to break down, but she regained her composure and continued, "I have nothing at all to say that could be equal to this."
Leo extended her hand toward the viewscreen as if she could reach through and take Lwaxana's hand. "It's okay, Lwaxana, it's enough that you're here. I mean here in front of me. Deanna explained you can't be here for the… well you know. And that's okay too, I think it's all gonna be okay, if I let it. You know in the beginning I just shut everything off. I was just crazy, you know, none of it was real and none of it made sense. I'm sure Deanna told you… and I'm sure she felt guilty because she thought she was betraying confidentiality or something."
"How well we both know my daughter. But I'm glad you're coming back to us, from that dark place you were. There are too many of us who care about you for you to be successfully ignored. We will find you wherever you hide."
"Captain Picard said the same thing," Leo confessed, "and just so you know I didn't just 'come back'… he dragged me back, kicking and screaming. Literally. Geordi tried first but I just beat the crap out of him, also literally." She paused, disturbed by the memory. "I don't know how I'll ever make that up to him."
"If I know Mr. LaForge, and I do, I think you won't have to. And it doesn't surprise me that, of all people, it was Jean Luc who was equal to the task. Nobody seems to want to admit it, but he is deeply fond of you. And I happen to know the feeling is mutual."
"There's no hiding from a full empath." That did make Lwaxana smile, and Leo was glad to see it. If they could all just inch closer to the way they were supposed to be, the way Data knew them, maybe that was the way to go.
Lwaxana sighed, "I only wish I could be there to give you a tremendous, healing hug. I don't know if it would help, but I know it would help me." She tried to laugh but couldn't quite pull it off.
"Seeing and hearing you is good enough for now. Next time we meet we can crush each other into little pieces."
"We'll be sure to alert Dr. Beverly in advance. Now I must go. I'm keeping you in my heart, my dearest one."
"I don't know if you can tell from this distance, but it helps more than you know. And you should also know that Data thought the universe of you, as a diplomat, and a friend, and a mother to Deanna. And a mother-of-the-bride to me, and a friend to the crew."
"Sometimes I think he was alarmed by my directness," Lwaxana suggested.
"Maybe. But he never doubted your intentions."
"Thank you for telling me that… even I can't read an android." With a wave of her hand Lwaxana banished the darkness of the moment, and morphed into Mom mode. "Now don't go hiding yourself in that black place again, Data would never approve. You'd be a very different person now if it weren't for him and the life you found together. You must never forget that, and you must never try to." She didn't shake her finger; she didn't have to.
"Maybe you can read over all this distance," Leo acknowledged a little sheepishly. "Thanks for reminding me. I need a lot of reminding, a lot of reminding, or I can go wandering off into the woods and then where would I be? Love to you, Lwaxana. O'Reilly out."
"And love to you dear."
The screen went blank.
Data would never approve.
She wished she could consider it a cliché, but she knew that "never" had a very different meaning where Data was concerned, even now. And she knew that Lwaxana was right; certainly she hadn't told Leo anything new. Since Data's destruction Leo had been on the verge of rediscovering her talent for denial, for ignoring anything she didn't want to be real. It was a talent that Data had "encouraged" her to abandon, and it had taught them both the limits of even an android's patience and creativity. If "cara mia" had been the "pause" button, nothing really stopped her like… "Stop". Never spoken anywhere but in private, and even then only in the most extreme of circumstances.
She sat for a moment, and conjured the memory of every time Data had firmly directed, "Stop." When she was being most unreasonable, when there was no time left for him to be reasonable. Always undeniable, always loving.
Always right.
She stood and announced in a clear voice, "Stop."
"Operation to be ended?" the computer voice questioned.
"Bullshit. I'm gonna stop all this bullshit."
Even the computer had no reply as Leo worked her way slowly around the quarters she'd shared with her husband, lover, and friend. Every item, every piece of furniture and thought and memory. She examined them all, turned them in her hands and her mind, and woke herself up to the obvious.
"I'm gonna make you approve, D," she told the sepia-toned wedding picture that Miles had produced on an antique light camera. "Just you watch me."
A/N: Regarding magical thinking: this reference is inspired by Joan Didion's play Year of Magical Thinking, wherein she describes the tortuous behavior and daily life habits she underwent to cope with the death of her husband. They included rituals of avoidance that went beyond denial, intended to erase the fact of death by avoiding any reminder of the reality of her husband's absence. I don't do it justice with these few words, see it if you can. It's breathtaking (I saw Vanessa Redgrave do it in London last October... how sadly relevant now!)