OH MY GOD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. I'M SO SORRY. DEAL WITH THIS CAUSE I CAN'T.

It was a normal day at the guild, you know, people were laughing, throwing beer mugs at each other, breathing fire – oh wait, that was only Natsu – and, well, normal Fairy Tail stuff. That is, until an older woman came hobbling in holding a basket that had suspicious vegetables in it – at least in Lucy's opinion. But, it didn't matter, because the withered woman walked up to Mira and started talking to her softly, and within the next few seconds, Mira had bought the entire basket with tears in her eyes.

Lucy didn't miss the odd smile she wore when she thought no one was looking.

So, it was a week later when the weird thing happened.

They were sitting down and eating something that Mira had prepared, when suddenly, Gray called out something that made Lucy stop dead in her tracks, whereas no one else paid any damn attention.

"I'm cold," He murmured, rubbing his arms and Lucy saw goose bumps appear on his flesh.

What…?

Natsu suddenly threw his soup across the room and it landed on Mira who was now in Satan Soul and she was sharpening her knives with a creepily serene look on her face. Erza was stabbing her cake forcefully and Wendy was suddenly sitting on Romeo's lap who was smiling at her as if he was in a daze.

"What the fuck," She muttered, then she was barreled onto the ground by someone. Laxus was on top of her and she was suddenly feeling very lightheaded. "H-hey…" She murmured.

"S-sorry…" He muttered in a very un-Laxus-like way. Blushes spread across the blonde's cheeks and they were now just staring into each other's eyes.

Freed suddenly slid across the bar top and ended in front of Mira. He got right in front of her and knocked the blades out her hand and slammed her against the wall, causing some alcohol to fall down and shatter on the ground.

"Hey, baby," He murmured into her ear and she growled low in her throat before turning his face to her and kissing him forcefully.

Meanwhile, Natsu was punching a pillar and screaming out insults to Macao while eating a snow cone and letting tears stream down his face.

"DAMMIT, WHY ARE YOU SO DUMB, MACAO! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" He broke off with a sob and shoved the shaved ice down his throat, all while sobbing.

Gray was still shivering when Juvia walked up to him and sat on his lap, earning a shocked glance from him.

"J-Juvia?" He asked uncertainly, kind of scared of the ferocity behind her blue eyes. She trailed her nails down his bare shoulder.

"Gray-sama," She murmured, touching her lips to his cheek lightly. "Juvia can help Gray-sama warm up…" Gray blushed heavily and turned his head bashfully.

"B-but…" She covered his lips with her pointer finger to silence him. Shaking her head softly, she smiled at him.

"Let Juvia show her Gray-sama what she means…"

Bickslow was currently making out with Lisanna who had smashed an empty vodka bottle over Wakaba's head… who was in a… compromising position with a broom and mop. Reedus was drawing unicorns to life and Levy was riding one while Jet and Droy were doing… things… behind a pillar.

"OI, SHRIMP, YOU LOOK CUTE ON THAT THING!" Gajeel yelled, chasing after her.

"Evergreen! Let me carry you off into the sunset like a man SHOULD!" Elfman roared and suddenly there was a hulking, muscled man carrying a rather bubbly Evergreen, who was smiling like a moron as she patted his biceps.

"You can carry me anywhere you'd like too…" She purred and stroked the tattoo on his neck. Suddenly a rainbow appeared within the guild and the unicorn ran up it with Levy cackling the entire time.

"Catch me if you can, Gajeel! I'm about to fly away to the sky and live in the clouds with the… the… uh… leprechauns! Yes!" She screamed loudly.

Cana was chugging a barrel of beer while sitting on Loke's lap (how'd he get here?) and she was spilling some alcohol on him, not that he minded. Alzack and Bisca were shooting the unicorn while yelling loudly.

"BISCA YOU'RE SO HOT WITH A GUN – I CAN'T EVEN – GOD I LOVE YOU!" Alzack screamed as the bullets flied around them. The green haired woman chuckled loudly.

"ALZACK IF WE GET OUT OF THIS HUNT ALIVE I'M GOING TO WEAR THAT UNICORN PELT AS A WEDDING DRESS!" They seemed to have forgotten that they were already married, but no one really noticed what was going on anymore… Lily was flying around in his human-sized form while holding Happy and Carla in his arms.

"Happy – I really think you're cool – I mean; your blue fur totally…" She hiccupped and had to pause, but continued nonetheless. "… totally suits you. I mean, seriously." Happy sneered at her.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Charle! I loved you – honestly, but now I have Lily! You're nothing to me! You wouldn't even-" His cute voice broke mid-rant and he sobbed into Lily's muscles. "… you wouldn't accept-accept m-my fish!" He yelled, causing Lily to pat Happy's small body soothingly. Charle had tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Happy! I just – " She hiccupped again. "I just didn't know how to respond to my feelings! G-give me a chance, at least!" She yelled and suddenly she was flying through the air. "LILY!" She screamed. "HOW COULD YOU!?"

"He's mine!" His deep voice yelled before flying to the other side of the guild. Meanwhile, Charle crashed to the ground in tears while slapping her paw on the ground repeating Happy's name over and over. Wendy was now trailing her small hands around Romeo's neck who had wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Hey Wendy," He muttered low so no one else could hear. Wendy touched her forehead to his and gave a broad grin.

"Romeo," She rolled the r in his name and he shuddered. Somewhere in the back of the guild, Erza was by herself holding a bottle of whiskey and pouring it on her strawberry cake, all while sobbing.

"Jellal, you idiot – I loved you! You asshole! YOU STUPID JACKASS!" She screamed and suddenly a few hundred swords appeared around her and started to spin wildly. "YOU LEFT AS IF IT WOULDN'T AFFECT ME! I JUST WANTED… I just wanted you…" She started sobbing and suddenly a sword went flying through the air and narrowly missed Natsu's head. Speaking of Natsu, he was currently crying while holding the now-melted ice in his grasp and trying to grab it, only to have it slip through his fingers.

"D-don't leave me… I RUIN EVERYTHING!"

Meanwhile, Lucy and Laxus were still in a staring contest. The only difference was that Lucy's hand was tangled in his hair and his body inched a tiny bit closer to hers. Seriously, they were boring. Freed and Mira had disappeared into the kitchen, and for the sake of the younger audience reading this, I'm going to exclude them from the rest of the story. Reedus had now drawn hearts that were all bubbly and floating through the sky and up to the ceiling where the unicorn was now resting with Levy passed out on his back, looking quite peaceful.

"SHRIMP DON'T FALL – I MEAN, YOU CAN IF YOU WANT BUT I'LL JUST CATCH YOU AND… UH… I REALLY LIKE YOU SO DON'T… GO AND… YEA…" Gajeel suddenly fell backwards off of the rainbow and crashed to the ground. "Shrimp…" He muttered before he passed out. Somewhere there was a fire and in another part of the guild there was the sound of Bickslow's babies screeching about how pretty Lisanna was while there were suspicious cat noises. Romeo and Wendy were locked in an intense staring contest, like Lucy and Laxus, except they were a lot closer. Macao was near Natsu and begging for his forgiveness while Natsu just shook his head and screamed about destroying everything.

Cana was now straddling Loke and her face was right in front of his and his cheeks were flushed.

"Hey," He purred while wrapped his arms around her waist and earning a feral grin from her. She didn't respond as she smashed her lips into his and sank into an angry kiss. Somewhere, Laki was crying and tangling people in wooden cuffs and sobbing something about how handsome Gildarts was all of the time. She was holding a gallon of milk and holding an apple slice to her heart. On the other side of the guild, Gray was blushing heavily as Juvia kissed his cheek.

"Oh, don't be so bashful, Gray-sama," She chastised while purring his name seductively.

"I-I'm just so cold," He muttered and she wrapped her slim arms around her his neck.

"I'll warm you up."

And somewhere else just behind the guild, a certain first master was sitting down and sipping sake, all while grinning to herself.

"I love my guild!" She giggled when she heard the explosions. "Especially like this!" And for just a short moment, an old, haggard woman with a basket flickered in her place.

"The third did a great job!"

Fuck I'll update Lover's Remorse asap.