DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Legend of Zelda series or any of its characters.
NOTE: Takes place just after Majora's Mask in a non-canon timeline.
In the land of Hyrule, just next to Kokiri Forest, was a small grove containing the home of five, small, Hylian chipmunks. Idolizing the Hero of Time, the brothers- two being adopted- wore colorful tunics almost identical to the famed boy's garb. Alvin, the eldest by a minute, wore red, while his nearest sibling, Simon, wore blue. The youngest triplet, Theodore, wore green. Noah, the younger of the two adopted brothers, wore pure, snowy white.
The last brother, whose age fell between Noah and the triplets, was Austin. His was the only tunic with a major difference from the Hero's. The orange garment lacked pant legs, leaving him in more or less a skirt. This was a necessary alteration, however, because of his bladder problems. His unfortunate condition left him in diapers for life, but surprisingly he enjoyed it. The small teen usually wore his favorite padding: white with orange sides and tapes.
The five boys all shared strong brotherly bonds, though Alvin tended to pick on his siblings a good deal. This especially irked Austin and Simon, who had fallen in love when the former was first adopted. In vain they had tried to keep their feelings a secret, but were eventually found out. Now, they were Alvin's easiest and favorite targets.
One day, as the sun rose high in the sky, Austin sat and watched as his four brothers played pretend with their wooden swords. Though silent, many thoughts ran through his head as he watched. Alvin was swinging too hard with no regard to finesse. Theodore pushed himself to be faster, but sacrificed proper footwork. Simon strategized so much he was almost too late to react. Noah failed to use his mind enough, being outwitted repeatedly.
Noticing Theodore's stew starting to bubble, Austin stood to break up the fight. This was the only point at which he'd ever get involved, grasping a toy shield as he stepped between them to get their attention. Blocking their attacks with natural skill, he brought calm to the pretend battlefield. Immediately, Theodore rushed inside the cottage to check on his dish.
"Lunch is served!" the shortest of the boys announced. Alvin led the others inside, the group gathering around the fire. Theodore served each of his brothers a sizeable bowl of stew, and then served himself. Just as they had all taken a seat, however, their meal was interrupted by a knock at the front door. Being the most mature of the five, Simon volunteered to answer it. However, the sight of Princess Zelda in the peephole was a massive shock.
"P-Princess Zelda! What are you doing here?" he asked, opening the door. It was then that he noticed three new princesses; another set of chipmunk triplets.
"I'd like you to meet Charlene, Jeanette and Eleanor," Zelda remarked, "We need your help." Simon let the four princesses inside where they gathered around his brothers.
"What is it you need us to do?" Alvin asked. Zelda's mask-like smile faded into a frown.
"Ganondorf, the demon thief, has escaped the Arbiter's Grounds and destroyed the kingdom these girls formerly ruled," she explained. Charlene was so overcome with anger that she interrupted.
"He destroyed everything, and now he's hiding out in the ruins of our castle!" she growled. Zelda put a gloved hand on the girl's shoulder.
"Easy, young one; be calm," she spoke. Her gaze returned to the boys. "We won't have the luxury of surprise this time; we'll need the Master Sword." She waved her arm, and magically placed four chests in front of Alvin, Simon, Theodore and Noah. They proceeded to open the wooden containers, each receiving an enchanted weapon once held by the Hero of Time.
Alvin received bombs, with a bag charmed to provide an infinite supply. Simon received the Hero's bow, with all three elemental arrows and quiver with unlimited ammo. Theodore was bestowed with the longshot, now able to pierce anything short of stone. Lastly, and fittingly because of his white tunic, Noah received the legendary Ocarina of Time. In addition, the three chipmunk princesses provided them each with sword and shield.
"I-I thought the Hero took the ocarina…" Noah stammered. Zelda raised a hand, quieting the small gathering.
"After saving a land called Termina, he returned it to me so it would not be lost," she explained. Noah looked down at the instrument in awe.
"You'll need the three spiritual stones to open the door of time," Jeanette stated matter-of-factly, changing the tone of the conversation. Charlene chimed in next.
"You will find them in the Kokiri Forest, on Death Mountain, and in Zora's Domain," she told them. Eleanor spoke last.
"Bring them to the Temple of Time, and retrieve the Master Sword. Only then can you defeat Ganondorf," she concluded. With that, the boys set off on their journey.
The first and closest place to their home was Kokiri Forest. The Kokiri Emerald was tracked down to the remnants of the old Great Deku Tree, which had partially rotted away. Now, the dungeon once traversed by the Hero was falling apart, leaving large gaps that were difficult to cross. Theodore, in his Kokiri Tunic, used the longshot to make his way through the dungeon to the room that housed its boss. Defeating the parasite Gohma, he claimed the Emerald.
"Got it," he smiled, emerging from the temple. The shortest of the triplets gave the gemstone to Austin. While he had not received any weapons, the orange-clad chipmunk had tagged along beside Simon, carrying with him the group's sole supply bag. The oversized satchel contained diapers, baby powder and other supplies for their adventure.
"On to Death Mountain," Noah remarked, following the order in which the Hero had obtained the stones. The five chipmunk heroes headed off to Kakariko Village, passing through the town on the way to Goron City. A conversation with Darunia, the Goron leader, sent them to Dodongo Cavern to recover the ruby from a warrior who had gone to face King Dodongo.
Again following in the footsteps of the Hero, the five chipmunks arrived at the cavern. While it was not sealed this time, lava had spread through it and ravaged the dungeon. Now, the path to the boss chamber was even more treacherous, though Alvin managed to pass by blowing up the many boulders littering it. Shielded from the heat by his Goron tunic, he slew the large Dodongo labeled the species' king. The warrior, who had been captured, gave his savior the Goron Ruby as thanks for saving his life.
"Two down, one to go," Alvin remarked, handing the ruby off to Austin for safe keeping. High fives were shared to appease the red-clad chipmunk, and then the group headed down the mountain. Soon they had arrived at the river, following it upstream to a waterfall blocking the entrance to Zora's Domain. Standing in the appropriate spot, Noah played Zelda's Lullaby to reveal the hidden entrance to the water-filled cave.
Inside, the chipmunk heroes made their way towards the throne room to speak with King Zora XVI. However, on the way up, Simon was intrigued by a bottle floating near an underwater passageway. Diving into the water, he grabbed the bottle and found that there was a letter inside. Bringing it ashore, he opened the glass container and read the leader to himself.
"Simon! Hurry up!" Heeding Alvin's words, the blue-clad chipmunk joined his brothers in the throne room of the Zora King. Silently, he stepped forward before the monarch.
"Your highness, we are here on behalf of Princess Zelda to get the Zora's Sapphire," Simon announced. The king was hesitant to speak.
"My daughter, Princess Ruto, has the Sapphire," he spoke, "However, she has gone missing. Simon showed the king what he had just found.
"According to this letter, she has been swallowed whole by someone called Lord Jabu-Jabu," he announced. The king's eyes widened.
"Jabu-Jabu is our benevolent fish-god. Ruto is his caretaker," he explained, "He resides in the fountain behind me. You may pass and investigate the matter further." Nodding, Simon made his way past the king to the large pool in which Lord Jabu-Jabu lived. The giant fish-deity was rather pale, and for some reason had left its mouth wide open. Simon hesitantly crawled into the slimy opening, and headed deeper into the fish.
In comparison to the dungeon traversed by the Hero, what Simon found was far simpler. With Jabu-Jabu rotting from the inside out, Simon was able to forge a path straight to the boss' lair. There, using arrows to hit its weak spot, he slew the evil parasite killing the giant fish. It was then, however, that Simon found himself thrust out of the dungeon by a giant cough, followed soon after by a young, female Zora.
"That… was disgusting…" she remarked, "I'm glad to be free, though. Who are you?" Her blue-clad savior had already begun washing off fish phlegm in the fountain.
"My name is Simon," he answered, "My brothers and I are gathering the Spiritual Stones on behalf of Princess Zelda."
"I'm Princess Ruto," the girl replied, surprised, "I had the stone, but lost it during that sudden exit." Suddenly, Jabu-Jabu coughed and then violently expelled the Sapphire from his mouth. Simon caught it, but was sent back into the water with a splash. On the bright side, he and the stone were washed off in the process.
"Problem solved…" Simon muttered, winded. Ruto let out a childish giggle, but stopped when she was reminded of her father.
"Aw, dad's probably worried sick!" she cried. As the princess hurried back to the throne room, Simon stood and glanced at Lord Jabu-Jabu. The Zoran deity still appeared pale, and he was worried that the parasite had already taken its toll. Acting on instinct, Simon reached out with his right arm and touched the giant fish. Shockingly, the Triforce symbol appeared on the back of his hand; the Wisdom piece glowing. Lord Jabu-Jabu was instantly healed, letting out a loud, low cry of thanks. Simon smiled before returning to the throne room.
"I was successful, and… Lord Jabu-Jabu has been healed," he announced. The king thanked him for his bravery, but stopped suddenly when the Sapphire was handed to Austin.
"...you know, in Zoran culture, the Sapphire is a symbol of betrothal," he remarked. Instantly, the aforementioned pair turned crimson. Alvin snickered, grinning widely.
"Just like mistletoe, but a lot funnier," he observed, recalling a prank he'd played the previous winter. Simon failed to shoot him a convincing glare.
"You're so mean…" he muttered. Austin hid his face in his lover's chest. Noah, angered by his eldest brother's actions, intervened as was too often necessary.
"Theodore, take Alvin to the Zoras' store," he ordered, "We need some time alone." Nodding, the usually submissive boy looked his red-clad brother in the eye.
"You heard him, Alvin," he growled, "Start walking, unless you want to make your own food from now on." Alvin's eyes widened in horror, and he quickly made a beeline for the store. Theodore's meals were one thing he could not live without. In the meantime, Noah consoled his brothers as the King and his daughter stepped out to see Lord Jabu-Jabu.
"Don't let Alvin get to you guys," he insisted, "You know we support you." Austin frowned, his gaze falling to the floor.
"It's too bad we can't say the same for Hyrule's bylaws," he muttered. Suddenly, he turned to his love with a sheepish expression; the prior surprise must have triggered his bladder.
"I got it," Simon remarked. A quick diaper change later, the three met up with Alvin and Theo outside the Zoras' store. Noah pulled out the Ocarina.
"To the Temple of Time," he remarked. The white-clad chipmunk played the Prelude of Light, teleporting himself and his brothers to the sacred structure. Before they could move an inch, however, Ganondorf stepped out from a shadow.
"Fancy meeting you here,' he taunted, grinning evilly. The four armed brothers reached for their swords.
"You're going down, Ganondorf!" Alvin growled. The villain merely laughed.
"We'll see about that!" he shot back. Thinking quickly, Noah slipped Austin the Ocarina as he and the others held off Ganondorf. Austin hurried and set the three stones in place before quietly playing the Song of TIme. The Gerudo king's eyes widened as the door of time opened, and a chipmunk could be seen scurrying inside. Blasting back the others, he stormed past and into the Master Sword's grand chamber.
"You're too late." Austin stood at the pedestal, his hands grasping the hilt of the Blade of Evil's Bane. In a last ditch effort, Ganondorf hurled a blast of energy at the boy. Austin was quick to pull the sword from its resting place, and freed it just before the attack struck. All were blinded by a white light, obscuring Austin from sight. His brothers worried that he'd been destroyed, while Ganondorf feared the opposite.
After a few seconds the light faded, revealing a whole new Austin. His tunic swapped a collar for an open neckline, with a divot in the middle held together by a single, large stitch. A white, ornate trim lined the edges of the orange garment. White tights could be seen on the hero's chest and arms, disappearing under brown, silver-plated gauntlets. Lastly, he wore light tan pants tucked into slimmer boots, which allowed for a part on either side of his 'skirt'.
Along with his new attire, Austin now held the Master Sword in his right hand and a Hylian shield in his left. Ganondorf was both intimidated by the boy's appearance and amused by his rather small stature. However, he refused to let the former emotion show.
"You really think you can defeat me?" he scoffed. Suddenly, he blasted back Austin's brothers and sealed them behind a dark barrier. Grinning, he held up his right hand to reveal the Triforce of Power. "You will learn to fear Power."
"No, Ganondorf, it is you who will learn to respect Courage," Austin countered, raising his own hand. The aforementioned Triforce appeared, shocking the evil Gerudo king.
"Impossible!" he scowled. Austin merely smirked, though it was wiped off as Ganondorf fired a ball of pure energy at him. He managed to send it back with his sword, but failed when it was reflected again. Gritting his teeth, he climbed back to his feet.
"Try that again, I dare you!" Austin roared. Ganondorf was more than happy to comply, but this time his small opponent tossed it back every time. Finally, the villain faltered, struck by his own attack. He tried again, the process repeating itself, before flinging two balls in a fit of rage. Striking them both in succession, Austin stunned even himself as he perfectly handled both balls until Ganondorf again faltered.
"How…?" the Gerudo king sputtered, dropping to a knee. Austin darted forward, slashing at him with the Master Sword. He was blasted back after inflicting only a few wounds.
"Had enough?" he questioned. Ganondorf shook his head, and cried out as he unleashed the full power of his Triforce. This transformed him into the demon Ganon, who wielded twin sai; blades with prongs curving upward from the handles. Immediately, he slashed at Austin with the weapons, knocking the Master Sword out of the boy's hands. The Blade of Evil's Bane clattered to the ground after striking the wall behind the hero.
"Hey ugly!" Ganon turned to see Simon walk through his barrier, the Triforce of Wisdom now glowing on his hand. The villain was momentarily stunned, just long enough for the blue-clad chipmunk to shoot him in the face with a light arrow. Meanwhile, Austin had taken advantage of the distraction to retrieve his sword. Then, before Ganon could attack his love, the hero in orange slashed at a weak spot on the beast's lizard-like tail.
Now losing to the numbers game, it was not long before Ganon found himself completely overwhelmed. His luck was so rotten that despite cornering Austin at one point, the small boy had slipped between his legs! Eventually, the two chipmunks did enough damage to leave the pig-like demon sprawled on the ground. With Ganon's head finally within reach, Simon used the power of his own Triforce to hold the villain down.
"Now! Finish him!" he cried. Austin dealt several hard, devastating blows to Ganon's head, all but killing the giant, demon swine. Now, the former Gerudo king was helpless before his foes.
"Let's end this, once and for all," the orange-clad hero remarked. Simon nodded, so the two combined the power of the Triforce of Courage and the Triforce of Wisdom to teleport Ganon back into a cell within the Arbiter's Grounds. He was returned to his weaker, humanoid state, and the Triforce of Power was removed from his possession. Suddenly, with all three pieces of the sacred relic brought back together, a white light filled the temple.
"Greetings, young heroes." Austin and Simon stood in a bright room, composed of a circular platform with six smaller circles around it. The walls were replaced with an endless, black void. An old man, with white hair and beard, stood on one of the circles while the others sat empty. "I am Rauru, the Sage of Light."
"Why are we here?" Simon asked, confused. Rauru smiled warmly.
"Just look behind you!" he replied. The two boys turned around, and were shocked to see the complete Triforce hovering before them. "You have brought together all three pieces: Power, Wisdom and Courage. Now, you may touch it and make a single wish." Austin and Simon turned silently to each other. Pausing for only a moment, they nodded and reach out towards the golden relic. Both knew exactly what to wish for.
I the blink of an eye, Austin and Simon found themselves riding away from Hyrule Castle on horseback. Their memories were a tad hazy, but certain details stood out. Alvin, Noah and Theodore had wooed the princesses with their heroics, dating Charlene, Jeanette and Eleanor respectively. As indicated by the rings they wore, the two lovers had finally gotten married, and by Princess Zelda herself, no less. Now, they were headed off on their honeymoon.
Clad in fine, linen garments, the two chipmunks were on their way to the royal family's summer home by Lake Hylia. Zelda had graciously offered them its use, so they would get some precious alone time. As they crossed Hyrule field, the orange-clad hero leaned against his blue-clad prince and let his eyes rest. Simon smiled as he gave the reins a slight tug to the left; he had the most adorable husband.