It was a quiet night. A slight breeze blew through the trees, making the leaves rustle quietly. The only other noises were the crackling fire and the hushed breathing of the sleeping knights.
Two people were still awake; Arthur and Merlin. Arthur was on guard duty and Merlin just couldn't sleep. Thoughts rolled through his mind, disrupting whatever peace he hoped to find. This past week had been a rough one, and he just wanted to go home. It had been a standard hunting trip, but had turned into a hunt for some bandits as well. All throughout the week, Merlin had felt lonely. Gwaine and Percival would hang out, along with Elyan and Leon. Even Arthur joined them more often than not. Merlin was ignored and just kinda, left by himself to do servant things.
Finally giving up on sleep for now, he got out of his bed roll and moved to sit by the fire. He let out a deep sigh. Arthur glanced over at his friend.
"Oi," he said quietly to get Merlin's attention. "What's wrong?" Merlin glanced up at the prince, then returned his gaze back to the fire.
"Nothing," he replied with a shake of his head. "Just ready to get home."
"You and me both." They lapsed into silence again and Merlin's mind began to wander. The more he thought about it, the more he realized, it wasn't just this week. He had been lonely for a while. In the past few months, he had had to use magic even more often to protect his friends, and as a result had to lie more. Lying all the time, pretending to be useless, and keeping his magic hidden were really starting to wear on him.
Stop it, he told himself as tears started to well up. You're not gonna cry. He let out a shaky breath, trying to keep his emotions under control. Arthur raised an eyebrow. Something was off with his servant. Looking around one final time to make sure the woods were clear, he moved to sit down next to Merlin.
"Stop hiding. What's wrong?" he asked firmly. His servant continued to gaze at the fire and after a moment replied with a very unexpected question.
"Arthur, can I trust you?" This took the prince aback.
"Of course you can." Merlin turned to see him better.
"Can I trust you with my life?"
"Merlin, what the heck are you talking about?"
"Arthur, please." The prince looked at Merlin and saw the depth of sincerity in his eyes, which surprised him. Didn't he already know this?
"Yes, you can Merlin." His friend nodded once, then turned to face the fire again, obviously contemplating something. If Arthur could trust him with all of his duties, and feelings, and stress he dealt with as Crown Prince, couldn't Merlin trust him with this one thing? Granted, it was a huge thing, but still. As time stretched on, the prince scanned the area around the camp looking for threats. He turned back to his friend, who still hadn't said anything. Rolling his eyes, he finally said,
"Oh come off it Merlin. You can't ask me things like that and then stop. It's not fair." He was rewarded with a smirk.
"I know. I'm just... I've never told anyone this." (Which is true. They had all found out by him using it).
"What is it?" Arthur asked, starting to become concerned. After a tense moment, Merlin finally said quietly,
"I'm a sorcerer."
He was completely caught off guard by the bark of laughter (alebi a forced one) coming from his friend.
"Good one Merlin. Seriously though, what is it?" Merlin looked into Arthur's eyes.
"I'm serious Arthur. I," his voice hitched slightly, "I have magic." Arthur's smile faded.
"What?" he replied quietly. No, no he had to be mistaken. Merlin couldn't be a… a sorcerer. But his friend just nodded.
"I-I could show you," he offered cautiously. When Arthur didn't reply, he carefully extended his hand towards the fire and mumbled some words. His eyes flashed gold and a magnificent dragon formed from the floating embers. Merlin dropped his hand and the embers drifted off into the sky. He glanced expectantly, and worriedly at his friend.
"Arthur, I-" The prince raised a hand and cut him off. They sat in tense silence until Arthur broke it.
"Why are you telling me?" he asked.
"I figured it's about time you knew." Merlin could see Arthur's jaw clenching.
"How long? How long have you been using it?" he asked tightly.
"I was born with it," Merlin replied sincerely. Arthur raised an eyebrow and glanced over at him. That was quite rare.
"Why did you come to Camelot then?"
"My mother... strongly urged me to. She had a, um, friend here she thought could help."
"Gaius?" Merlin was about to deny it, but then deflated.
"Yeah." Arthur just nodded.
"What do you use it for?" he asked after a moment. Merlin heard a change in his voice, and realized he had switched from confidant friend to prince who must assess a threat to his kingdom.
"I use it to protect you and the knights. When I run off during skirmishes, I'm getting in a better position to help, and keep my powers hidden. Sometimes I make people trip or tree branches fall."
"I'd been wondering about that..." Arthur muttered. Merlin took a breath and continued. And once he started, it all came out in a huge jumble of explanations and stories. Ranging from using it while playing dice to sending Kilgarrah away to the Fisher King to daily chores.
"But I swear to you Arthur, I have never, nor will I ever, use it to harm you or Camelot." Merlin sighed inwardly in relief as he finished. All those experiences and lies had weighed him down for so long, and now, finally, someone knew. His gut twisted when he reminded himself that that 'someone' was Crown Prince of a magic-hating kingdom with the power to execute him. He held his breath and tried not to freak out.
"I believe you," the prince finally declared. Merlin's mouth dropped open.
"Y-you do?"
"Yes, Merlin. Really." The warlock let out a relieved breath. This was already going better than anything he had hoped for. And yet…
"So, what are you going to do about it?" he cautiously asked.
"I'm... not sure yet," Arthur admitted. Unbidden worst case scenarios started flashing through Merlin's mind as his friend stared into the fire and remained silent for an uncomfortably long amount of time.
"Arthur please, tell me what you're thinking," Merlin finally pleaded. Arthur took a moment to gather his thoughts and responded.
"I don't think you're evil. I do think you're an idiot. I feel shocked. Bit angry. Bit betrayed. But mostly, I'm glad you told me." He turned his head and he and Merlin made eye contact.
"Of the millions of ways I could have found out, I'm glad you were the one to tell me and that you did it because you trusted me. That means a lot, Merlin.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, least of all my father. Your secret's safe with me."
In the distance they heard a twig snap. The two men looked towards where the sound had come from. The fire was starting to die down and the knights continued to snore.
"I better get back to guard duty. Sounds like something's out there."
"Nah," said Merlin, shaking his head. "It's just a deer."
"And how would you know?" A smirk played on Merlin's lips and Arthur held up a hand to stop the inevitable response. "Right. Magic. Maybe you're not as useless as you seem Merlin." The prince stood and helped his servant to his feet.
"You should try and get some rest."
"I will. And, thank you." Arthur smiled as he replied,
"That's what friends are for."
It was a quiet night in the woods. The leaves rustled gently and somewhere far off an owl hooted. Arthur was standing watch while the others slept.
Or, tried to sleep, though Merlin seemed the only one incapable of it tonight. Though he was exhausted, his mind wouldn't let him rest. It played back the last few days, all the times he'd had to use magic and, of course, all the times he'd almost gotten caught… had to lie… If Merlin was honest with himself, he was having to lie more and more frequently and he hated it.
Finally he gave up on sleep all together and got up, moving to sit by the slowly dying fire. He felt his eyes begin to droop in response to the comforting warmth, but still felt miles from sleep. Arthur glanced over at his friend and saw him staring darkly into the fire, the dying light throwing deep shadows across his face and beneath his eyes.
"Hey," he whispered. Merlin glanced up. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he replied with a shake of his head and a small, reassuring smile.
Arthur didn't buy it in the least.
He took one last look around the woods before leaving his post to join his friend by the fire.
"Seriously, what's wrong?"
He fully expected Merlin to try and brush him off again, but instead he remained silent, gazing into the fire, looking thoughtful and weary.
"Arthur, can I trust you?" he asked.
"Of course."
"With my life?" he insisted, turning his head to look at the prince. Arthur was surprised. Did Merlin really not know that?
"Yes Merlin. Whatever it is, you can trust me. I promise."
Merlin nodded in response and continued to stare into the fire. He opened and closed his mouth before letting out a nervous chuckle and running a hand through his hair.
"Sorry, I've just never told anyone this before." And it was true. Everyone else had found out through seeing him. "I… have magic," he said.
"Good one Merlin," Arthur laughed. "Seriously, what's wrong?"
"Arthur, I'm telling the truth. I could show you," he offered. When Arthur didn't say anything, Merlin carefully extended his hand towards the fire and muttered a spell. From the embers, a dragon rose, flapping it's wings once before dissipating into the night sky. Merlin looked sidelong at Arthur who looked conflicted. His jaw was tight, but the rest of his face impassive.
"How long?" he asked.
"My whole life," he replied. Arthur raised an eyebrow.
"Why are you telling me?" he asked.
"I figured it's about time you knew," he replied quietly, looking forward again, waiting for judgement.
"Why did you come to Camelot then?"
"My mother had a friend in Camelot that she thought could help me-"
"Gaius?"
"Uh, yeah, Gaius," Merlin agreed, seeing no point in denying it.
"What… what do you use it for?" Arthur asked, the tightness in his voice lessening ever so slightly.
"I use it to protect you and the knights. All the broken branches and the bandits tripping… that's usually me."
"I was wondering about that," he murmured.
Merlin took a breath and continued. And once he started, it all came out in a huge jumble of explanations and stories. Ranging from using it while playing dice to sending Kilgarrah away to the Fisher King to daily chores.
"But I swear to you Arthur, I have never, nor will I ever, use it to harm you or Camelot." Merlin sighed inwardly in relief as he finished. All those experiences and lies had weighed him down for so long, and now, finally, someone knew. His gut twisted when he reminded himself that that 'someone' was Crown Prince of a magic-hating kingdom with the power to execute him. He held his breath and tried not to freak out.
"I believe you," the prince finally declared. Merlin's jaw dropped.
"You do?"
"Yes, Merlin," he chuckled. "Really." The warlock let out a relieved breath. This was already going better than anything he had hoped for. And yet…
"So, what are you going to do about it?" he cautiously asked.
"I'm... not sure yet," Arthur admitted. Unbidden worst case scenarios started flashing through Merlin's mind as his friend stared into the fire and remained silent for an uncomfortably long amount of time.
"Arthur please, tell me what you're thinking," Merlin finally pleaded. Arthur took a moment to gather his thoughts and responded.
"I don't think you're evil. I do think you're an idiot. I feel shocked. Bit angry. Bit betrayed. But mostly, I'm glad you told me." He turned his head and he and Merlin made eye contact.
"Of the millions of ways I could have found out, I'm glad you were the one to tell me and that you did it because you trusted me. That means a lot, Merlin.
"I'm not going to tell anyone, least of all my father. Your secret's safe with me."
In the distance they heard a twig snap. The two men looked towards where the sound had come from. The fire was starting to die down and the knights continued to snore.
"I better get back to guard duty. Sounds like something's out there."
"Nah," said Merlin, shaking his head. "It's just a deer."
"And how would you know?" A smirk played on Merlin's lips and Arthur held up a hand to stop the inevitable response. "Right. Magic. Maybe you're not as useless as you seem Merlin." The prince stood and helped his servant to his feet.
"You should try and get some rest."
"I will. And, thank you." Arthur smiled as he replied,
"That's what friends are for."