Power of the European king side stories
Going shoe shopping
I did this for a reader who requested it. Rated M for language.
Takes place before the battle of Narita Somewhere during chapter Twenty Six Merry Christmas.
Kaguya surveyed the battlefield, taking special note of any strategic points and advantageous terrain. She had to draw him in and attack whenever he was vulnerable but had to make sure he didn't call a premature retreat.
So she quickly memorized where the closest electronics store was as well as any benches. She mapped out the distances in her head and came up with a plan of attack.
"Lets check out that wine store."
Her suggestion drew a pout from C.C. who had been smirking at the lingerie store. But such blitz tactics would undoubtedly backfire seeing how edgy and uncomfortable Lelouch seemed.
His faint half smile told her he was grateful and slightly more at ease and thus more vulnerable than when his guard was up. She lead the way, taking special care to lean over to gaze at every curiosity in the shop windows, highlighting her toned ass and legs in the process. She was hoping to give off a perfect mixture of adorable and fuckable.
She glanced over her shoulder to see the result. And caught Lelouch glancing away while C.C tipped her head with a wide smirk. She smiled back. They entered the wine store and Kaguya immediately clamped onto his arm to drag him off to peruse her favorite wine selections.
She leaned in close whenever they examined a bottle together, using the excuse of trying to read the label. But really she was giving him a whiff of her perfume and trying to get him to peek down her blouse.
She admittedly had nothing to stare at. She was still flat as a board, especially compared to Kallen and Q2. But Lelouch's drifting eye proved it didn't matter. She secretly felt relieved by his perverted reassurance. She decided to reward him by buying him the bottle he'd been eying the most for him.
He protested halfheartedly on behalf on some misplaced male pride. But accepted it easily once the register had been rung and the bottle had been handed to her stoic security detail. They would drop it off at his headquarters at the end of the day.
She didn't miss the exchanged glances and commiseration between them. But she didn't comment. She'd brought them along for exactly that reason.
C.C ruined it though "Good thing Kaguya brought along her trained little monkeys or we'd have to carry our own bags." She stared at Lelouch's underdeveloped arms with a amused smirk.
Lelouch smiled at her "I'll have to ask her for some tips then. I have a pet that's barely housebroken." He gave her a pointed look before he turned to Kaguya. "I think I'm spoiling her too much. Do you think a change in diet will help? Perhaps less dairy based products?"
"Don't you dare take away my pizza!" growled C.C. before she caught herself and resumed her bored look. Trying to convince Lelouch of her indifference. To make him think it would be a waste of time for a petty slight and make him feel pathetic in attempting it. But she'd have better luck trying to sell ice to a Eskimo.
Lelouch smirked at her "Wouldn't dream of it. I'm just going to block my credit card and check you in under a different name. One not registered on my credit card."
"Same bloody difference." muttered C.C. like a petulant child that was trying hard not let it show how much it bothered her. The pursed lips betrayed her though.
"Hardly, just buy your own or needle other people into buying them for you."
C.C. stopped trying to look unfazed and glared at him for a while until a devious smirk replaced it. She turned a predatory gaze on Kaguya and sidled up next to her. "I wonder how much I can hypothetically get for details on Zero's sex life." She whispered into her ear causing Kaguya's cheeks to redden while making sure it carried all the way to her body guards.
Lelouch's expression turned just a shade under murderous "You wouldn't dare!"
"I think a hundred grand sounds reasonable. I wonder how many pizzas that is?" She started counting on her fingers and mumbled 'carry the one'
"If you dare, I'll buy up everything that sells pizza in Tokyo and take pizza off the menu. And I'll destroy Pizza hut and sell its parts to the highest bidder!" Thundered Lelouch with some spit actually flying out of his mouth and landing on Kaguya. It went ignored by all.
The color drained slightly out of C.C's face at the threat. The tension in her shoulders intensified for a moment before they slumped down. "You win Lelouch." She sniffled "I promise I'll pay you back. But I can't hold down a job" She slipped her blouse down one of her shoulders, exposing her skin. "So perhaps I can repay you with my body instead." Tears seemed to be welling up in her eyes. A few bystanders caught her last sentence and took notice. Several women were glaring and men were gawking.
Kaguya blinked at the blatant manipulation. But even if Lelouch knew she was faking. He couldn't ignore the scene she was causing. Even if he couldn't be recognized as Zero.
"You witch." growled Lelouch under his breath before he loudly started denying and dismissing C.C as a liar and a mean spirited joker.
He was failing miserably at it until some girls approached C.C to persuade her to come with them. They were good heartedly trying to save her from a bad situation. But that removed C.C from her primary victim.
So she finally cleared it up, after staying silent up until now. The girls left with a huff and a parting glare for the girl who cried wolf.
Kaguya had tried to help Lelouch clear up the misunderstanding. But her looks had led them to believe she was still a child. She got shushed and metaphorically patted on the head like she didn't know any better. Their condescending kindness enraged her. Only the keen awareness of Lelouch's presence kept her from throwing a tantrum.
She gritted her teeth as Lelouch dealt with uptight soccer moms with a apologetic smile. But the tension in his shoulder told her any plans at seduction were thoroughly ruined. Lelouch stalked off on his own to the nearest electronics store.
Kaguya glanced at the soccer moms and saw their hawk like gazes judging how she and C.C. acted without his presence. Kaguya quickly ran after him with a cheerful smile and a yelled apology, to dispel any lingering thoughts that they were forced.
C.C however lazily sauntered after them with a mocking wave at the soccer moms. They left with a huff after seeing that.
Kaguya caught up to him after he'd already thrown games, albums, movies and external hard drives into his shopping basket. Apparently he wasn't wasting any time binge shopping. The tension in his shoulders had drained somewhat though, so she threw in some suggestions of her own and pretended nothing had happened.
A little hard to do though with the green haired source hovering in the back ground. At least she didn't scoff when Lelouch threw a high school musical in his basket. Thank god for small mercies and all that.
A lull appeared in his shopping binge when he tried out a demonstration game. She guessed she had fifteen minutes where he was oblivious to the world. Hopefully the game would soak up his anger. She dropped back and stood next to C.C.
C.C didn't look at her and just kept browsing "Are you here to get me to apologize?"
Kaguya scoffed "Please, I've only met you twenty minutes ago and already I can tell that isn't in your dictionary."
"Perceptive." She held up a dvd about the awkward moment when a couple define their relationship. She sneered at it before putting it back.
Kaguya flipped through a few dvds herself without looking. "Cut the bull shit, you were trying to piss him off on purpose. Are you Q2's little errand girl?" Was she here on purpose to prevent Lelouch from making any ties to any other country besides Europe? She certainly looked European enough.
C.C stopped flipping and gave her an odd look before she snorted "You think I take orders from her? Please, I'd give a corpse a blowjob before I'd stoop that low."
Kaguya nearly gagged at that unwanted imagery but she wasn't going to be distracted. "Then why'd you sabotage me?"
She scoffed "Your pathetic attempts at seduction were amusing. I wouldn't mess up my fun on purpose."
At Kaguya's disbelieving look she added. "I just defended the holiness of pizza. To even threaten to remove it from the menu is a blasphemy I cannot allow." She said it with the utmost seriousness, not even a hint of a smile cracking through.
Kaguya gaped at her. "You gluttonous bitch." She actually did that for pizza!
This person was insane. And Lelouch was letting her hang around him. She didn't get it. What appeal did she have? What was her worth?
"You fucking him?" She said bluntly to draw out a reaction that couldn't be covered up in time. But she got nothing. The bitch remained as impassive as if she was asking if she was hungry. Perhaps even less, considering her obsession with pizza.
"I think I'd have a better chance at getting off with that corpse." replied C.C in a bored tone.
"Wha-what?" stuttered Kaguya. Trying to mentally repress that imagery again while wondering if Lelouch was gay. Or was he impotent? Did she mean a corpse was stiffer?
"His stamina is atrocious, so he keeps switching back to foreplay." informed C.C "Though Leila seems to like it."
Kaguya had trouble picking up what C.C was putting down. Did she mean she couldn't sleep with Lelouch because Leila was his girlfriend or that it would bore her? And by stamina did she mean his physical one or how many times he could fire in a day or keep it up?
"So he isn't sleeping around?" She asked in confusion with a hint of disbelief. She was so sure. He was rich, handsome and powerful with a army of believers swallowing whatever he spouted.
Him not getting laid was like saying one plus one didn't equal two. He was a guy with women offering to have sex with him. How was he not getting laid?
Though it cut down the competition it also raised the bar. If Lelouch pictured the white picket fence before he inserted the tip, then she was screwed.
Marriage right of the bat was surprising and a bit fast but it played into her plans. Just getting him to say yes would be hard, considering someone else got to him first.
C.C. finally deemed a DVD interesting enough and carelessly chucked it into her basket. "I'm told he got plenty. So he isn't as anxious to prove himself anymore. He apparently even took one in the ass and she thanked him by shitting on his dick."
She unconsciously clenched her sphincter "Right." She responded dryly. Not sure how else to respond to that.
"So what's your quote?" asked C.C after the awkward silence had amused her enough.
"My what?"
"The offer I can quote to Lelouch when he reads about Zero's exploits in the newspaper off course." She said it like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"I saw how interested you were when I brought it up. So cut the good girl act and give me an offer."
Insane. Yep, she was definitely insane. "Why are you doing this?" Even crazies had some twisted logic. Hopefully it resembled her language enough to decipher it.
"Lelouch already told you." replied C.C but she got a blank face in return. "He threatened to cut of my pizza supply and he told me to needle others for it. So I am and I've granted you the privilege of being my first."
"I'm honored." She replied dryly. While mentally calculating if it was worth it to just have her security detail shoot her out back. Two quick rounds and a chemical bath would be all it would take to remove this pest.
There had to be a reason Lelouch kept her around though. She had already proven herself a liability and Lelouch shrugged it off. So she had enough value to off set it.
Now what could possibly be worth that much?
She racked her brain but time constraints only allowed her to come up with one option. C.C. had an affair with a Britannian prince and was carrying his child. The scandal could ruin him and the child had a claim to the throne. A weak one, but one nonetheless. A round of fratricides after killing the Emperor would clear up any pesky contention about the rightful heir to the throne.
There was just one problem. The lack of a baby bump.
Not to mention that Lelouch could just assert his own claim even if he abdicated in his youth. Sure it might not be legal but if you had enough guns and silenced the opposition than legal rules could be used to wipe his arse with.
No wait he was hated quite a bit by the commoners and nobles thanks to his stunt with the economy. He'd have massive riots on his hands if he took it by force. So maybe a puppet king did make sense. Only there was no baby bump and she couldn't be older than seventeen. Did she already give birth?
Her mind tried to wrap itself around the possible timeline and wondered how long it would take before the child was old enough to take the throne. Ten maybe twenty years? Too long to be of any use, by then the dispute for who would sit the throne would be over.
So she threw that idea out the window and concentrated on practical matters. C.C was threatening to air Lelouch's dirty laundry and she was trying to get into his good graces. One plus one equaled two. She had to buy it and somehow let it slip to Lelouch she covered his ass while seemingly asking nothing in return.
"Fine I'll bite." She replied causing a smirk to appear on C.C's face. "I'll give you enough money to buy enough pizza to last for the rest of your miserable life. But you'll help me in exchange got it?"
C.C sighed theatrically "Who knew the secret to getting laid was trying to take over the world. Better not tell any teenagers or the world…"
Kaguya tuned her out and just grabbed her spare credit card. She used this one when she didn't want any transactions directly linked to her name. It had several millions on it for any purchases she might need to make while undercover. She stared at it for a moment before reluctantly handing it over.
"This card has roughly four million on it and its pin number is 7548."
C.C. licked her lips. "Hmm I wonder how many pepperoni pizzas that is?"
When she spotted her glare she added "And yeah we got a deal. I'll help you get into his pants or whatever floats your boat. So long as it doesn't kill him."
Kaguya nodded, taking her lack of genuine concern in stride. She hadn't expected much different. "I don't care about that to be honest. I just want him to protect Japan. If he has to wear me like a sleeve to do it. Then so be it."
"You do know loveless marriages create resentment right." She asked with some concern.
Kaguya grimaced slightly "I know but I'll bear it with a smile for my country."
C.C smiled at that. "I've heard about dying for your country but this…" the smile dropped "Is even more depressing. You're hardly the first and I've seen tons of determined young girls break down into mere shadows of themselves. Granted Lelouch isn't nearly as much of a bastard. But he still kills people on wholesale."
Kaguya soldiered on "I know that but"
C.C interrupted "You know he plays with toy soldiers in his free time right? Not to relax like normal hobby freaks but to plan new ways to kill people."
Disturbing. But she could ignore that too. She'd seen her own father do something similar when he planned his financial conquests. He'd been a workaholic as well.
Visualization made figuring out plans a whole lot easier. She color coded who she could bribe or not in the Britannian establisment herself.
Besides she'd been funding terrorist groups since she was a child. She'd been responsible for more deaths than famous serial killers before she grew tits. She hardly qualified as innocent. Worse, she hardly expected any of them to make a difference. She was just spinning her wheels most of the time. Just trying to keep on walking, hoping that if she never stopped she'd eventually get there.
Lelouch however had a plan and a reason for why he killed people. Mindless slaughter was far worse than premeditated massacres. At least they served some purpose, even if the victims disagreed with that purpose.
And a few could even take pride in being killed by Lelouch. She knew she'd rather be killed by the next Napoleon or Nobunaga than some street thug. She doubted anyone could feel proud about a little girl snuffing them out.
"You forget who I am." She replied
CC rolled her eyes "Yes, you're a hardcore killer, a genuine bad ass. "
Should she deny that? She was plainly being made fun of, but wouldn't she be undermining herself if she did? "Shut up. You know what I mean. So trust me when I say I can stomach a little blood."
"Uh huh" replied C.C "Well, whatever don't say I didn't warn you. And he's coming over."
Kaguya swiveled her head and spotted Lelouch slouched over with his hands in his pockets slowly walking over. His mood didn't seem overtly improved but he didn't glare at CC and was willingly walking towards her. So that was something.
She put on a bright smile and started talking about some movie she wanted to see. Lelouch barely listened but decided to humor her anyway. Kaguya kept on smiling as she lead him to the movie theater. Maybe the movie would put him back in a good mood and her plan could still work. Maybe.
At least she had C.C's cooperation from here on out. A inside woman would be invaluable, so silver linings.
"Hey Lelouch. We're still going shoe shopping after that movie. You promised." nagged C.C who couldn't just leave well enough alone.
Kaguya glanced at her security detail and ran the odds of that 'two rounds out back' scenario one more time. She also wondered if it was worth it to get the details on those sex exploits C.C. had refrained from mentioning. And if Lelouch's wrath if he found out was worth it. Probably not.
She also belatedly realized that she didn't know if C.C had been telling the truth. Lelouch's anger led her to believe that she was, but he could also have been angry about her selling lies... Did she just pay four million for hot air? She couldn't exactly ask Lelouch if they were true.
Her smiled flickered for a moment before she reminded herself that she had said C.C. had to help her. So she'd bribed her instead of getting swindled. Yes, that's what happened she convinced herself.
That C.C went home with four new pairs of shoes and four million in exchange for a verbal promise didn't change that…
She stubbed her toe on purpose so she could swear up a storm without it seeming out of place.
Authors note
I'm planning to go through my story again and expand on any dead end plotlines I've forgotten about or just write some fluff. It will take some time though cause reading my own story is pretty boring. I already know what's going to happen and most of the variations I had in mind at the time. But I need to cause I can't recite it from memory. The biggest thing stopping me from making any progress on the main story is that I don't want to read my own drafts. Sad isn't it.
Feel free to make more suggestions