Shrek was depressed. He had to leave his one true love, Shadow the Hedgehog.
"Wait Shrek don't go!"
"I'm sorry, but my time here is ogre..."
He drove his Shrekmobile to the local tavern to drown his sorrows in alcohol, after that, who knew what he was going to do to himself...
He entered the bar, solemnly greeted all the regulars, and asked the bar tender to give him shots of the strongest stuff they had; he didn't want to remember this night.
"It's-a not easy being green, eh?" a voice chimed in. It was the bar tender, who Shrek had just now noticed seemed to be a plumber as well.
"I can't help but ogree, laddeh" Shrek drunkenly replied.
"Look at-a you" the bar tending plumber said, "You're sitting here, all alone on-a Saturday night-a. You don't-a seem like all of-a these other drunkards, what brings-a you here?" the plumber inquired.
"To be honest, I had to leave my one and only love, Shadow" Shrek said.
"Why's-a that?"
"I just had to. Things just weren't meeting my Shrekspectaions..." the benevolent ogre replied, "The worst part is, I had to leave junior as well..." a single waxy tear rolled down from his eye.
The plumber pondered this matter for a moment, and then an idea struck him. "Well, do you-a need a place to stay?" he asked Shrek.
"Yes, preferably as swamp-like as possible laddeh" he sniveled a bit, "I'm sorry, this is just so ogrewhelming for me..."
"No no, it's-a no big deal. Well, if you need a place to stay, I'll ask my bro if we can rent out our-a guest room to-a you" The plumber said.
"That would be very un-dreck" our ogre friend replied. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name laddeh, who are you?"
"It's-a me, Luigi!" the plumber replied.
"Oh, well I'm Shrek" the ogre replied.
"I get off in about-a half an hour, let's-a meet out in-a the front then" Luigi said.
"Alright, laddeh" Shrek said.
30 minutes later, Luigi's shift was over, and he proceeded to lead Shrek to his house. It was a quaint cabin located near the woods, but to Shrek's dissapointment, there wasn't anything like a swamp to be seen for miles.
This place could use a little bit more of an ogre's touch, Shrek thought. Maybe an onion garden or two...oh well, I guess it'll have to do for now.
They pulled up to the curb, and walked towards the front porch.
"This is a nice place you got here laddeh" Shrek said, "It could use a massive ogreload of swamp elements, though".
"You-a think so, eh?" Luigi replied.
Just then, the front door opened. It was none other than the famous Mario Mario. Upon seeing Shrek, he pulled Luigi aside.
"Uh, Luigi" he asked, "Who's-a that big green guy?"
"Oh, that's-a Shrek" Luigi replied, "He's-a looking for a place to-a stay, so I thought we could-a rent out the old guest room for-a him".
"Um, okay then" Mario turned to Shrek, he hated to be unwelcoming, so he said, "You can-a stay here as-a long as you like, uh, Shrek".
"Thanks, you're a real good brogre, you know that?" Shrek asked.
Mario just stared at him, unsure of what to say next.
"Okay...well, uh, come inside then, I'll-a show you the guest room" he said.
Shrek gleefully charged into the house, Luigi followed suit. Mario just stood there on the porch, still baffled about what he just allowed to happen.