A/N: Hello! This is my first story. The plot bunny attacked and would not let go, so I wrote it. It's a bit weird, sorry. It has not been Beta'd, so any mistakes are my own. Hopefully there aren't, because everyone I know says that I am very good at grammar and spelling; it's the little things I miss, though I read it over several times. If there are any mistakes, feel free to point them out.
Disclaimer: I am not sure why I should do this, because this is FANFICTION. If I was J. K. Rowling, I would not be posting this on a FANFICTION site. Nevertheless, I am sad to say that I am not J. K. Rowling or anyone else who somehow owns part of HP. *sigh*
The Clueless Wizards Club
Clueless Wizard Number 48 walked into the hidden room. He saw that the rest had already assembled so he was the last. He took a seat near 35 and 3 and looked around the large round table at Numbers 1-47 and 49-80.
He sat up straighter when Number 1 stood up and addressed the Club. "Welcome back to the CWC. This meeting has now started and there is to be no using the restroom, eating snacks, talking when someone else is talking, or foolish wand-waving. Is that understood?" he said this in a Snape-Voice. Numbers 2-80 all chorused, "Yes, Sir!" 1 smiled and said, "Does anyone have any stories from over break?" 30 hands raised into the air. 1 called on a black haired, scar headed, green eyed one, Number 72.
72 stood up and said, "I have a really bad one. As you all know, I spent the holiday with 22-24's family. Their sister and my other best friend teamed up on me." Winces were seen around the room. "Yes," he stated gravely, "two of them. And then 22-24's mother joined in." Two fear-filled squeaks were heard. 72 and 1 glared at the offenders and 1 motioned for 72 to keep going. "Th-they-well, they-" He shivered at the memory and almost couldn't continue. 22 patted his back and said comfortingly, "I know mate, but you have to get it out." 72 gained control of himself, sent a grateful glance at his red headed friend, and continued with a gulp, "They started crying when I gave them their Christmas presents!" Gasps of horror filled the room and 72 collapsed back down in his seat, trembling uncontrollably. 1 looked at 72 and asked gently, "Did you give them bad presents?" "No!" Number 72 replied, "I gave them each a necklace with protective spells on it so that they would not be in danger when the Massively and Dangerously Clueless One comes after me." "What did they do then?" Number 33 asked. "They were sobbing and squishing me between them; the Weasley Jumper I was wearing has the stains to prove it."
1 looked sad and resigned, "This is one of the worst instances I've ever come across. Honestly. There's just no reason or logic behind girls' actions. One day they're happy and fun to be around, and the next they're throwing themselves at you and wailing. I just don't get it."
"None of us do." Number 80 said wisely, "Girls are a puzzle that I doubt any of us here will ever be able to understand." There were murmurs of agreement from around the room.
Number 1 stood up and asked, "Does anyone else have anything they'd like to get out?"
48 spoke up after a moment of no one talking, having kept quiet the whole meeting, "I think that I speak for us all when I say that I seriously doubt that anyone could top Har-Number 72's tale. Besides, his problem certainly helped me. I know that nothing that happens to me could match up to 72's bad luck with the ladies." 48 had a mischievous grin on his face. "Does anyone else remember Cho?" The room erupted in laughter and 72 went red. "She threw herself at me!" Trying not to laugh, Number 1 said, "Well, then. I think that concludes our meeting. Same time next month, yeah?" 2-80 got out of their chairs and said goodbye to their fellow Clueless Wizards, wishing luck to Clueless Wizard Number 72, although secretly hoping that it would continue to happen to him so that he could continue to take the worst and be there to make them feel better about themselves.
When they were all gone and she had finished letting out her hysterical laughs, the invisible girl in the back of the vanishing room smirked a dreamy smirk and skipped off to tell the other Glorious Girls what had happened this meeting, her Radish Earrings and Butterbeer Cork Necklace swaying with every hop-step, and still letting loose the occasional giggle.