Here is my response to the lovely and talented Aoihand's Multiverse Prompt.
"Five Different Angles"
A Girlish Crush
"D-don't point those dangerous things at me!"
The former vice president of Baroque Works defensively sprouted hands to slap away the sword and blue staff. In less than a fortnight, these six scrappy misfits and a runaway princess had turned the entire operation on its head and ruined the man she had known and feared for four terrifying years. Now she stood on their ship's deck, having been dragged out by the intense green-haired swordsman. The blond guy was immediately head-over-heels for her, but that probably didn't mean much. Her borrowed blouse was a size too big for her, and the capris almost reached her ankles. She faltered for a moment, trying to regain her shattered confidence.
"It's all your captain's fault," she squeaked, "He should have left me for dead! I have nowhere else to go!" In an instant the blond was upon his leader, harshly demanding he explain whatever he did to the little lady. The long-nosed boy was still trying to conduct an emergency ship evacuation as the mysterious captain pushed the playboy to the side and ambled over to the stowaway. Two intense brown eyes from under the straw hat stared down at the girl, as if he were looking into her very essence. His unsmiling mouth, framed by a rough beard, was tight-lipped as he studied her youthful face. She could feel the currents flow beneath her Devil fruit-cursed feet. The teenage fugitive wasn't sure what was scarier, the captain's disposition, or the fact that he was most likely the only thing standing between her and a painful death.
Then he broke into a grin and laid a hand on her head. "So it was you!" he chortled, breaking his ominous composure, "Sure, you can join!"
Robin's mouth fell open at the older man's nonchalance. Was he unafraid of a possible reprisal later on, or did he have something more sinister in store for her? The seventeen-year-old archeologist turned this question over in her mind as she proceeded to systematically seduce the other crewmembers. Every now and then she stole a glance at "Straw Hat" Luffy, and wondered how he could be so intimidating and yet so childlike in the same breath.
Barbie Bandits
It was almost closing time for the Ohara bookstore as a worn-out Buick pulled into the parking lot. The handsome driver was far more accustomed to flashy sports cars, but he wasn't one to ask pointless questions when two drop-dead gorgeous girls needed his services, even if it meant using a Grandma car.
"Well, here we are, ladies," he drawled, casually turning off the ignition.
"Thanks so much, Acey," cooed Nami, a bright and vivacious redhead on the honor roll, "I just hope we still have enough time to get… what was it, Hancock?"
"Luffykins's present," the haughty-looking Asian university girl crooned, flicking back a strand of her long dark hair as she answered, not bothering to return her friend's wink.
Ace blinked. "Uh, okay, my little brother's not a big reader, but hey, do what suits ya."
Nami continued making small talk with Ace as Hancock donned large black sunglasses and glamorous-looking blonde wig, carefully arranging her tresses under it. Ace couldn't help but notice and ask the obvious question.
"That's for us to know," the Asian beauty curtly responded as Nami put on her own wig and glasses.
"And for me to find out?"
"If I meant that, I would have said it."
"Okay, no need to get defensive."
Ace switched on is MP3 to lose himself in the sonic bliss that was Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers as the girls exited the Buick and started off toward the bookstore. When they felt they were far enough, Nami spoke up, "So, remind me why I agreed to this?"
Hancock gave the slightest of smirks. "Because frankly, your little pick-pocketing operation is peasant's work, my dear."
The redhead gave an irritated sigh as she continued ahead of her childish companion, "Alright, but I still don't see why you couldn't just use your own money."
"That's my grandmother's money and you know it, Ginger!" Hancock almost screamed.
Nami rolled her eyes and approached the door just as an employee came to lock it.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, we're closing," he rasped.
"Oh, please let me in," whimpered Nami, instantly the damsel in distress, "I just wanted to pick up my jacket! I left it in here earlier, I need it back tonight!"
As the man became more helpful, Nami's partner-in-crime approached. "Excuse me," she murmured, her voice and figure oozing sensuality, "I believe I might have forgotten something too."
"A-alright ma'am, what is it?"
"Oh, just a few full cash register drawers," giggled Hancock as she drew a small revolver.
That Was A Close One
Thatch took a moment to assess the situation. It was twilight, and he had scarcely gotten the foul taste out of his mouth when someone attacked him from behind. The fall hurt a lot more than he'd anticipated; wasn't that fruit supposed to be a Logia? Only his quick reflexes saved the Fourth Division Commander from a punch to the face. The deck wasn't so lucky.
A strangled yell cut his concentration short. It sounded like an accusation, but he couldn't be sure. Thatch's hand flew to his right hip, only to remember he'd left his sword in his quarters. Shit. Well, best try out some new techniques. Whitebeard's fourth strongest man felt a newfound energy surge through him as he dodged another hammer blow to the head. He stretched out his right hand, and the attacker suddenly flew towards him by some unknown force. Thatch managed to clench his fist as the offender crashed mouth-first into it. Ouch! Okay, best off if he found the damn sword.
The nimble swordsman tried to ignore the throbbing pain in his knuckles as he dodged and weaved towards his quarters. He still hadn't been able to identify his attacker in the gloom, but his shouts sounded oddly familiar. What was his name? Tak, Teef, Teak? Whatever, it would be Dead Meat in a few moments either way. Now, where did he put—there it was! Thatch barely had time to draw his blade as the door burst to splinters. The man-beast threw himself upon the newly "cursed" pirate captain with a roar of, "THATCH! YOU ATE MY DREAM! Y—"
And then, it was over. The intruder's scream turned to a murky gurgle as his hands dropped to the tongue of steel that had impaled his heart. He gripped the hilt's hand-guard with one hand to pull himself closer to his victim-turned-killer, trying to grasp him with the other. Roused by the noise, Thatch's crew rushed to their commander's cabin in time to see Marshall D. Teach breathe his last in a vain attempt to end the man who, with a single act, had destroyed everything he had been waiting on.
Somehow, Thatch felt like he'd just saved the world.
Rock And Roll
The lead guitarist for the Strawhat Thousand couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Their slightly insane singer disappears for three weeks, only to come back with a beauty queen on his arm? What the fuck? Sanji bit back a tirade and put on what he thought was a friendly smile as the rest of the band reacted.
Nami, the band's lovely manager, seemed relieved to see Luffy alive, livid at is prolonged absence, and wary of his new, ahem, friend all at once. Usopp fumbled with his drumsticks in surprise. Chopper the band medic and relief drummer started going on about Luffy's backlog of missed checkups. Brook, AKA the surviving Rumbar Brother, accidentally dropped the piano key cover on his hand. Franky, their soundman/rhythm guitarist, spat his cola back into the bottle in shock. Robin the synthesizer mistress' eyes lit up with recognition, but otherwise she remained deadpan. Zoro looked up from tuning his bass for two seconds, and then got back to his instrument.
Luffy glanced around dumbly, wondering what the big deal was before remembering he hadn't come back alone. He broke the awkward silence: "Hey guys! Sorry about getting lost back there. This lady helped me out! She's really nice, her name's Hancock and she's—"
"I'm his lover," she proudly interjected, partially overlapping with the singer-lyricist's explanation. This cued a heightened reaction from the rest of the band, except Robin, who just giggled.
After introductions went underway, Hancock found herself swarmed with questions and solicitations alike.
"Soooo, is this gonna be a long engagement? I can plan everything for you if ya want… Say, do you come from money?"
"You've made a SUPER connection, sis! We're gonna sail right to the TOP OF THE CHA—no, I don't wear pants, they get in the way."
"You look awfully pale. Do you feel all right? W-why are you staring at me like that?"
"Welcome to our rehearsal studio! I am Usopp Soge, the leader of the Strawha—EEK! Okay, okay, it's not true, that's totally Luffy's job!"
"Aaaah, whatthefuckever. Just stay outta my way and play nice, you dig?"
"Well, good afternoon, m'dear, would you be so kind as to show me your—URGH!"
"Please disregard the dirty old man, love. Allow me to offer you a fresh margarita?"
"I never would have guessed a major player at Seven Seas Records would fall for our wayward singer."
Robin's offhand remark grabbed the attention of everyone who wasn't her, the lead vocalist, or his lady friend. "WHAAAAAAAAA?"
"Oh yeah, that reminds me," grinned Luffy, rubbing the back of his head, "Hancock got us a gig with, uh, Newgrat? Neegut? Uhh…"
"Eddy Newgate," the attractive bigwig cut in, "He needed an opening act, and you happen to be a band, so I pulled a few strings, and now you're all set to tour with him!"
The rest of the band (yes, even Robin) was shocked. "E-E-Eddy Newgate? The Eddy Newgate, the outlaw country legend?" stammered Nami. Robin suddenly swooned into Franky's arms; the Speedo enthusiast looked like he wasn't sure if it was his lucky day, or if he should be worried. Luffy took his place at the mic stand while Hancock took a seat to watch her man work his magic.
"Right!" Luffy declared, "We've got a new gig, a sponsor, and we're gonna have a deal! LET'S ROCK!"
It was their most impassioned rehearsal yet.
I've Come To End This War!
The last thing Coby saw before he blacked out was the fearsome Admiral Akainu's lava fist colliding with something large and fizzling out like a bad firework. A foreboding figure in a long black cloak came into view for the retreating pirates and bloodthirsty Marines.
"Good job, kid," came a rough voice, "The time you bought with your act of courage just changed the course of history."
The Marines had just dealt with one Yonkou, only for another to arrive without warning! All defending Marineford looked to Akainu as the dread pirate reached down to pick up the fallen straw hat, carefully feeling it with strong fingers. But the terrifying Admiral, the model of Absolute Justice, was hesitating! In front of this one-handed greybeard, he could not act!
The Yonkou of East Blue straightened up, holding his once-treasured old hat. "That reckless brat," he muttered, "Almost making me break my promise."
The wicked Garp the Fist, captain of the "Fist of Love" Pirates, stared out at the wreck of Marineford and roared his intentions for all who could still hear.
I'm an avid LuRo supporter, but the flak this pairing often gets from other One Piece fans irritates me sometimes. So I wondered if they wouldn't complain as much if the characters in question swapped ages. It would certainly be more innocent.
This is my little gift to everyone who's convinced themselves that Hancock is an irredeemable beeyotch who would try to murder Nami and Robin. I have news for all you sweetypies: filler doesn't count! :3 Also, I blatantly ripped off "Bottle Rocket." If you haven't seen it, DO SO RIGHT NOW. By far Owen Wilson's most original role, and that's saying a lot.
Wouldn't that be a game changer? Maybe Whitebeard would have been the villai—no, on second thought, let's pretend I didn't just go there.
Because Whitebeard as Johnny Cash would be awesome.
And so would Pirate!Garp. Too bad it ain't canon.