A warning from Mary/Gary Stu
I'm perfect in every way there exists,
There's not a flaw one can see of me,
I'm the person with values one couldn't list,
In every story, I'm the character key.
Not one profound line comes from another anyone,
My words are the flesh of the page,
I say the right things, cool or fun,
In every way I sound like a sage.
I'm the most beautiful or handsome one the reader's seen,
My every bit of body is flawless,
I'm healthy right down to the spleen,
There's nothing in me amiss.
There's action every time I'm around,
I'm in every line of the story,
I'm hale, strong, and sound,
There's nothing in the page, cept' me.
The thing is, I'm a static character,
I fill up the page with the author's ego,
Regardless if I'm him or her,
I'm only as much as a fantasy will go.
So as a warning may I say,
That Mary/Gary isn't the way,
There's nothing worse than being ideal,
Because, in truth, it makes me unreal.