A/N: Okay, here's the companion piece to Nothing Left. This was actually really hard for me to write. I had a lot of trouble trying to decide just how James felt about the whole situation I have playing in my head. This is his POV by the way. I hope I conveyed the pain he is going through. But yeah, I was thinking about this the other day how anyone that reads Snow Angels is probably really confused because this and Nothing Left are a lot more serious and angsty than that. But the truth is most of my personal stuff is really dark and kind of depressing so these are closer to what I really write normally. So there you go. As always, I hope you guys will like this. And please review! I want to know what you think and if you would like another one in an omniscient POV about them getting together after this. It will be a much happier one and more upbeat one than this. So, yup. Tell me what you all think! XOXOXOX
Summary: After that, every dream and desire I ever had shattered as easily as glass into a million different jagged pieces. But it didn't stop at that. Companion piece to Nothing Left. Oneshot.
Disclaimer: Uh huh. Yeah right.
As Easily as Glass
I didn't look back.
Even with every single muscle in my body screaming to turn around, I stayed strong.
Strong. Yeah right.
Strong is fighting.
Strong is never giving up. No matter the pain.
Strong is waking up each day, even when the sun blinds you and your body aches with each step.
I wasn't strong. Far from it.
I lost my strength.
I became weak. With just one word, I unraveled until I could barely meet her eyes.
Her.
Everything always led back to her. No matter what. It's always been her. And it always will be her.
But it just hurt so much.
Too much.
I always put up with the letdowns and heartache. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. That's what love will do to you after all.
Love.
How is it that the thing that is supposed to make your life worth living becomes the final factor which ultimately destroys you? How is something that is so wonderful, so magnificent, also so sharp and caustic?
It wasn't supposed to be like this, you know.
This wasn't the ending. Oh no, far from it.
The ending was supposed to be filled with long, lazy Saturdays and dinners around the table laughing and joking. It was supposed to have shooting stars and fireflies. It was supposed to be happily ever after.
But when is life ever a fairy tale?
No, this was not the ending. The end was her and me, gray hair and wrinkly skin, more in love with each day, rocking back and forth on a creaking swing on the porch while the sun sets.
Back and forth.
Back and forth.
But she never did do anything according to my plans. Hell, it was one of the things I loved most about her. Her knack for keeping me on my toes. Her ability to always surprise me with a witty remark or action. It always kept me coming for more. More and more.
I became addicted.
Addicted to her letdowns and sneers. Addicted to the way she would spat my name out of her perfect mouth like a poison. Addicted to the fire in her eyes when she looked at me. It all lured me to her more. It made me love her more.
It's kind of funny how one word, just one, could change all that, though. How one word could destroy all the hope I possessed. How it could make me lose every last ounce of strength to move on. To keep going.
Actually, it's really not funny at all.
She said the one thing that had the ability to tear my heart to shreds and rip my heart out of my chest.
And she said it with so much confidence, so much spite; it just made it that much worse.
I hate you.
Three words. Three terrible, terrible words. Hate. From the moment it left her lips, it rang in my ears over and over again. Taunting me.
Hate.
Hate.
Hate. Hate. Hate.
It was over.
Everything. Just over.
In one blink of the eye, everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever wanted to be… gone. Before my very eyes.
After that, every dream and desire I ever had shattered as easily as glass into a million different jagged pieces. But it didn't stop at that. Oh, no. Glass is sharp. Glass cuts. Deep. And like broken glass, my crushed hopes cut into my soul, my very being, until I was left with nothing but surrender.
It was over.
I gave up.
I just turned away and left. I am almost ashamed to say that I was hoping—praying—she'd call back for me and tell me it was all a misunderstanding; a fluke. But she never did.
I didn't look back. But the truth is, I couldn't look back. I couldn't see the inevitable loathing in those eyes I adored so much.
I couldn't bear it.
So I just gave up.
I wouldn't bother her anymore with my affections. I wouldn't talk to her anymore about how desperately I adored her. I wouldn't gaze at her anymore with eyes filled with longing and love.
And it would hurt. To give up everything like that.
She was the only person that could degrade me to this. Make me feel so worthless, so low, and so hollow.
But she was also the only person that could make me feel alive.
She was supposed to be worth the pain.
Worth every sleepless night.
Worth every unshed tear.
Worth every blow to my heart.
Because in the end, it was always going to be her and me.
Forever.
But now I'll never know.
Because I gave up.
I wasn't strong enough.
And I didn't look back.
She hated me.
A/N: You know the drill! Drop a comment! Make my day! ;)