Chapter 1 (Kate)
She opens her eyes slowly. One thought, and one only, immediately crosses her mind.
I can't breathe
The air is hot, and thick. She tries to stand to her feet, disoriented and dazed. But she can't move. She is trapped.
For a moment, she thinks she is back on that plane. She feels like she has just come hurtling through the sky thousands of feet and crash landed in the middle of nowhere.
She turns her head, looking, searching for answers. But everything is clouded with dense black smoke.
I can't see
She feels the familiar throbbing of her wrist, that stinging irritation, handcuffs. So she is on the plane. The plane has crashed. She hit her head. She tries to piece things together. She knows she hit her head, because it hurts like hell. And she concludes that she must have been dreaming, hallucinating. Strange dreams of deserted mystical islands, of Jack, of evil 'others'. It's all been a disturbing dream. She is still on the plane. The plane has crashed.
This thought disturbs her deeply, even though she ought to be relieved. The most bizarre and real experience of her life, and it had all been a dream. Here she was, back in that plane. It seemed dull. Meaningless. Here she was, a survivor. Again. It made her feel indestructible.
She stops feeling like she has crash landed. Now she feels like she is still falling through the sky. It's terrifying. And beautiful. And she is free. All around her clouds float past and she thinks to herself-
I can fly
But the clouds aren't clouds. They are pillars of smoke, choking her, obscuring her view. She chooses not to see it. She tries to move again, after all she is free and she is flying. But something catches pulling hard against her wrist. And it sinks in, she is handcuffed to something. So not free after all.
Kate pulls again against the handcuffs restricting her, how can she fly if she is handcuffed to a …what? She can't see. Damn that bastard. Leaving her here to die, handcuffed and trapped in a plane wreckage. And she is supposedly the criminal?
Something else strikes her as odd though, because the way she remembers it, the plane crash, he had been injured and she managed to get hold of his keys, free herself. Had that been a dream too?
And as the smoke thickens, and the temperature is rising rapidly, she realises something else. Everything is burning around her.
Fire.
She screams, loudly, for Jack. But she chokes on the words, inhaling smoke as she opens her mouth to call out. And she almost laughs at herself, calling out for Jack. Had she not just decided the past months on the island had been a dream? Jack did not exist, Jack was a figment of her imagination. Jack couldn't save her now.
But real or imagined, Jack had taught her about taking hold of her fear. She can't see, she can't breathe. And if she doesn't pull herself together, she is going to die right here. She tries to take a deep breath, but that only draws more smoke into her lungs and she doubles over, coughing violently in response.
Paralysed and helpless, a second thing strikes her as odd. The crash, the way she had remembered it, or dreamed it, had been so loud. People everywhere, screaming, crying. The noise of the heavy aircraft shattering into pieces had been deafening. She had felt energised by the people and panic all around her. Thrilled by the thought she had cheated death. In awe of the events unfolding all around her. But here, now, is deathly quiet and still. And she is weary.
The smell is the same though. Unmistakable. The smell of burning scorching human flesh. The smell of death. It must be true, she is still on the plane. The plane crashed. The plane is burning. She is handcuffed. She is going to die.
She hasn't got in her to sit peacefully and wait for death. She doesn't know why she deserves to survive while others perished in that crash. Only that her will to survive is strong. She is a survivor. And she can't sit here without trying.
She pulls again against the handcuffs, now so hot that she can feel the flesh on her wrist burning against the white hot metal. This time something shifts suddenly, and causes her to stumble. With her free hand she waves away the smoke as the horrifying reality appears before her eyes. She isn't handcuffed to something, she is handcuffed to someone. She feels the lifeless limp hand of the other person brush against her own skin, causing shivers down her spine.
She hears something then. A voice. But not from her own mouth, not from the eerily still body she is shackled to. A voice from behind her. Calling her name.
She turns, and through the smoke sees a vision of a woman coming towards her.
An angel
An angel who knows her by name, calling to her, reaching out her hand. Kate thinks to herself,
I am dead- and it's not so bad.
Because she looks into the eyes of the angel, and feels peace that transcends all understanding. And Kate feels, suddenly, finally, like everything is going to be alright. She feels like she can stop fighting, stop struggling to breathe, like it's alright to let go. She has never, ever felt anything like it.
As the angel reaches forward and takes Kate by her free hand, Kate looks closer, through the smoke. And sees that this is no angel. Far from it. It's one of them. It's Juliet. And Kate decides that either she has inhaled far too much of that smoke, cutting off precious oxygen to her brain. Or the fact is that this is no plane crash. This is something else. Something more sinister. Something that those people have caused. Juliet's people. The whole mess, the crash, the island, Jack, Juliet, it was no dream. It was all frighteningly real.
Kate tries to speak, to ask what the hell has happened, but her breath catches in her throat. Juliet whispers in her ear "Don't speak." And Kate looks up into her eyes, to Juliet. Or this woman who looks an awful lot like Juliet. Because there was too much compassion in those words to have come from Juliet. There was too much warmth in her touch. And those eyes, those eyes were alive. Soft. Almost human. Not evil, cold, calculating. Nothing that she had come to associate with any of the 'others'. And this adds to Kate's confusion.
Within seconds Juliet has freed Kate's wrist from the handcuffs, and Kate could swear that Juliet's fingers lingered over her swollen aching skin just a moment longer than necessary. And then Juliet is pulling her hard, dragging her across the floor. Kate tries to stand but Juliet tells her to stay down low, away from the smoke.
Kate can hardly move and wonders why Juliet is pulling her so hard, why doesn't Juliet leave her here to die? Then Kate looks over her shoulder, to the lifeless body behind her. She stops. She can't leave this person here to die. Only moments ago she had convinced herself she was still on the plane, that the person she was attached to was the person who had relentlessly pursued her, made her life a living nightmare, imprisoned her and dragged her home in shame. And she would have been able to save herself and forget him if the choice came down to it. But now that this wasn't the plane crash, who was that other person?
Juliet turns to her, Kate can't quite see her face through the clouds of smoke, but there is rage in her voice, and fear, and she shouts "What are you doing? We have to get out of here, now!"
Kate points to the body, still coughing too hard to speak, and Juliet's gaze follows.
"There isn't time." Juliet says firmly, coldly. As if it meant nothing to her to leave another human being behind to burn to death. But Kate can not walk away so easily. Not when she almost shared that same fate as that person.
As Kate is making her way back to that unconscious body. Juliet grabs her forcefully from behind. "It's too late, he is already dead. He is gone." Juliet tells her.
Kate doesn't think she believes Juliet. She thinks Juliet is lying to get her to leave. Because she would have known if she was handcuffed to a dead person. That hand was warm, and soft. And alive. And she knows she has to try save this person. And if she cant save them, she has to know who it is. Who is this person that Juliet is so anxious to leave here to burn to death.
Kate thinks to herself that she probably belongs back there, with that person, burning and choking as the last breath leaves her body. At least she wouldn't be a traitor. How could she leave someone to die, and allow herself to be rescued by one of them? She wonders how much of this is her compassion for the other person, and how much is wounded pride at the thought of being rescued by Juliet.
Kate has every intention of pushing Juliet away, and going back for the other person. But her strength is gone, Juliet overpowers her quickly and drags her away. And as the smoke shifts in front of her eyes, Kate sees it for the first time. The thing that she must have known all along somewhere deep down, the lifeless body on the floor- is Jack.
There is no chance now that Kate is leaving of her own free will. She tries to scream but no sound comes out. Her head is spinning and aching and she can't breathe, she cant see anything in front of her and she kicks and swings her fist at Juliet who is still holding her tightly pulling her along the ground. Kate pulls one last time against the other woman's arm and she can actually feel the click as she dis-locates Juliet's shoulder. But Juliet says nothing, does nothing. Just keeps moving forward dragging Kate alone with her. Kate struggles as best she can, but Juliet is stronger. Kate can't see anything except smoke and she wonders if Juliet even knows the way out. If Juliet is leading her deeper and deeper in to the fiery pit of hell.
But finally there is air and suddenly Kate can breathe. Kate tries to push Juliet away but it only causes her to stumble and fall backwards onto the grass, pulling Juliet on top of her. Suddenly there is light and Kate can see. And the thing she can see is Juliet's face, Juliet's cold angry eyes. And in those eyes Kate could swear she saw a tear. But she tells herself it's just the smoke making the other woman's eyes water. Because Juliet has no compassion, no heart. Juliet left Jack to burn to death. Juliet is heartless. Because if Juliet had a heart, she would have left Kate to die right alongside Jack, where she belonged. How was Kate supposed to go on without him? And she wonders if Juliet orchestrated this entire situation, just to watch Kate suffer as Jack burned right before her eyes. Just to watch Kate as she lived with the guilt that she had saved herself, that she was alive, Jack was not.
And then, Juliet is gone, Sayid has pulled her away, backed her up against a tree shouting angrily, "Where is Jack?"
Kate looks around and the destruction, the entire community burned to the ground. All of the Others have long ago abandoned the place, or perished in the fire alongside Jack.
She looks back to Juliet, who couldn't answer Sayid even if she wanted to, she is coughing hard and gasping for breath. She looks to Juliet's eyes, cold and unwavering. No fear, no remorse. Nothing. And still Kate finds she has to bite her tongue, because she wants to tell Sayid to stop. To leave Juliet alone.
And that's the last thing she sees, the last thing she thinks, before everything goes black.