Dodge the Bullet. Or Carry the Gun.
The choice is yours.
Chapter 1
"Pepper hand me that thing over there will ya. Please and thank you."
"You don't know the name of the device you want?" The red haired assistant was turning her head from side to side wondering 'which' thing he needed. Not to mention he forgot his manners. Well he didn't forget them, he just knew he could get away with it.
"I do, I am just far too busy to say it out, or even care too. Snap, snap." He hurried her.
"Tony what thing!" She called to get his attention as he kept working, not necessarily clarifying, as she turned pressured while simultaneously annoyed.
The black haired man finally looked away, pushing his way from whatever he was working on and sighed. "The thing next to your hand darling." He wiggled his finger at it. "You see it. That."
She rolled her eyes, snatched the overly large screw driver from the desk and handed it to him. "You know it should be me bossing you around."
"Well when you learn how to fix stuff, make stuff, create stuff, like me, then okay, I might think about it." He gave her an innocent look. "Can I get some coffee too? I've been up all night."
She was already used to this and even though they were in a relationship he hadn't changed much at all. "Get it yourself." She grinned and left him. "By the way the reason I came down in the first place is because Fury called." Pepper notified as she moved along up the stairs.
"Okay so instead of a coffee mug make me like a carton of it. Extra sugar, extra cream."
"Just call him back."
Tony sighed and tossed the device he was going to use. He lost interest like one would lose their appetite. Fury either had good news, okay news, plain bad news or just annoying news. He's going for the latter.
He took his time considering Pepper didn't mention anything about it being urgent and sat at his computers upstairs asking Jarvis, calling Fury from there.
Fury appeared on his screen and was just glaring at Tony with his one good eye.
"Talk to me babe." Tony smiled with a hint of obnoxious flamboyance.
"Tony we've been trying to contact you for the last three days. Where has Iron man been?"
"Uhm let me see," Tony stood and paced counting everything he's been doing in his head. "Err I've been dealing with my demons, yep, went shopping for a nice suit to go to dinner with Pepper for her birthday and….oh and fighting my own enemies. That's it pretty much."
Fury rolled his eyes taking it as sarcasm whether it was supposed to be or not. "I guess Pepper forgot to tell you that I have a mission for you."
"No I got that part; let me guess whose attacking now. Doom?" Stark crossed his arms knowing exactly who.
Fury smirked. "Lucky guess. I need you to be ready in ten minutes. Get down here fast." He logged out and turned towards the two assassins chilling on the seats in the main operations room of the ship. "That man, I swear." He was shaking his head.
"So do you think he's up for it?" Natasha asked knowing Tony was never excited about being called on his days off which there weren't many.
"Truly deep down he wants this job." Fury answered sarcastically.
"You know he's not a fan of Doom or any type of sorcerer." Clint replied examining each of his arrows making sure they're ready for a new encounter.
"I know but he's the only smartass in this team who is actually widely known and can still not be considered conspicuous." He reasoned.
Captain America entered sipping on coffee and reading outdated newspapers still trying to catch up with the times. He was dressed in a plain white shirt and his notorious outfit blue spandex bottoms. "Being a smartass is the solution to this problem?" The army man asked not surprised at all.
"Ah I see you've grown some humor over the days Captain."
"I'm getting used to it. So have you told him who he's going to be working with on this?" The captain didn't seem so sure about keeping it a secret anymore. He never liked Tony but out of respect he knew the man hated surprises.
"I'll let him find out for himself." Fury had no intention of letting Stark know especially after the incident awhile back. But it was necessary. He needed his help the most because he was one of the smartest on the team. He could do things of importance even without his Iron man suit that would help their operation.
"He's going to hate you." Natasha looked up at her one eyed boss.
"A lot." Clint injected.
They all went quiet realizing the true dangers that could come of this.
"We should just tell him." Steve spoke up taking a seat himself. 'It's the right thing to do."
"No the right thing to do is saving the world even if that means working with someone you dislike." Fury disagreed. "You guys will keep your mouths shut am I clear?"
They heard clunking outside of the main room, obviously from Tony's armor. The motion doors opened letting him come through. Tony arrived fashionably late as always in his iron man suit because he was feeling too lazy to drive and he just had ten minutes. "So what is this mission, who do I have to sleep with and how much am I getting paid?"
"Isn't this volunteer work?" Steve asked surprisingly shocked.
"Maybe for you and the big guy."
"Hulk?"
"No, the other one who wears his mothers curtains and wigs. Ken doll."
Steve rolled his eyes. Thor would have threw his hammer at him if he was around. "Let's just talk business okay."
"Well in business we get paid volunteer boy." Tony smiled arrogantly.
"Enough Stark," Fury walked up to him handing him a stack of papers. "Actually read it and just don't scan through it."
"Sad you would think that of me, the second smartest man alive. How do you think I got where I'm at?"
"It was handed to you by being pampered all your life." Steve insulted.
"You mean the books that I read? Then yes you're right. They were handed to me."
"Enough you two. We're a team so act like one." Fury was getting impatient. Those two were the only ones struggling to get along.
Steve slowly removed himself feet from Stark. He hadn't got used to him yet, but it made sense, the two heroes personalities were the complete opposite. One was of loyalty and honor, the other, could give a shit.
The others watched as Tony was flipping through the papers rather quickly and just like Fury figured, he scanned and saw what he wanted to see. "Okay, Doom is out and about again, trying to find a certain source of power so that he can become the most powerful being in the universe…how exactly? I'm looking through this and I don't see the problem." He tossed the folder on the table.
"How do you not see a problem?" Natasha asked actually interested in why he didn't see this as a major situation.
"Well what source? Also this man is a whack job. He's lost against the fantastic four for Christ sake and dare I say it if they can do it; I think we can do it eh. What do you say hands in everybody."
They all sat back, mumbling trying there best to ignore his sarcasm. Tony just shrugged when know one was feeling 'it.'
"Look Tony, if Doom does get his hands on this source, there is no doubt he can become the most powerful being in the universe. He's already a major threat but with more magic, and trying to get into the heads of sorcerers like Dr Strange, he's hoping he could get to the level of the celestials. That's not a good thing."
"Yah, what did I say complete whack job. You know what, I'm hungry, and can I get a hot dog or something?"
"You're unbelievable Stark." Steve replied, shaking his head.
"And you representing America is laughable."
"Are you going to help us with this or not." Natasha glared at Tony interrupting before Steve and him ended up in a fist fight.
"Sure I can help, no problem." He was overconfident. "First I need to know what source. Banner and I can track it down before Doom finds it, locate its weakness and destroy it. Then we'll celebrate, order take out, then take out Doom." His answer and smile was full of irony.
Fury sighed seriously. "We already have the source Stark."
"Okay great let's take a look." Tony was looking around for it and noticed no one was making any sign of commotion. He had a confused look on his face when he looked to Natasha then Fury. "Is it invisible? Am I missing something?"
"We need to protect the source from Doom. Not destroy it. That's the mission. In fact you will be working with this person."
"The source is a person?" His eyes were astounded.
"Yes. We've located the man who we think is helping Doom. His name is Richard Allen. He has all the information that I need you to get. We already know who he's after and why, the only problem is where Doom is hiding and what he is planning in order to find the source. We all understand Doom is intelligent, so we can't let him know S.H.I.E.L.D is behind it. In fact we have to stay low key and sadly you're the best man for this mission."
He atleast accepted the compliment.
The boss continued. "You will be meeting Richard at a fancy little party tonight with rich folks, kinda like yourself so you should fit right in."
"He isn't that important as far as we're concerned, nothing more than a wealthy human being trying to make a name for himself." Black Widow threw out.
"We've stopped better. But apparently he wants recognition for his work so joining Doom is his idea of becoming someone important. Trust me Stark if he finds a way to help Doom, this man not only will be the most important person in history but he will have won." Fury walked up to him hoping he would understand.
Stark seemed okay. That was a start of a good sign. "He's already a top dog if he's working with Doom. So we're dealing with another bad guy who wants to destroy the world. How original."
"The lowest people would work with Doom if they thought they were getting something from it." Natasha responded.
"Doom is using him." Clint said.
Tony just shrugged. "Thor wasn't kidding when he said mortals were easy... I'm sorry but didn't I ask for a hot dog."
"We got you an invite, a suit, and some flowers to give to your date." Fury sat in his seat, looking up at Stark.
"I am so confused. A date? I'm going on a date with the source?"
"Not the smartest man alive anymore Tony?" Steve asked.
"Hold up there cowboy, keeping secrets and expecting me to figure it out is evil. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna. Besides Pepper will get angry if she finds out I have a date that isn't her." Stark answered childishly, stomping a foot. "I'm not doing it."
"It's all protocol." Natasha replied seriously. "You two will be working together."
"I get to work with a woman? I hate working with people, especially women. No offence." he directed towards Natasha.
"None taken." she answered lazily sitting back.
"Reservations are at seven exactly. Show up late because I know you will." Fury ended by handing him the invitation and left followed by Steve and Natasha.
Tony opened it and before Clint left after the others, he stopped him. "Hey Legolas, who's this source? If you don't tell me I know Banner will."
Hawkeye just grinned. "Banner was paid to keep his mouth shut. Trust me, you won't get an answer from him."
Then Tony watched the assassin head out the room. He tossed the invitation on the floor and collapsed in a chair whining to himself.
Handsomely dressed, Tony was nervously pacing the ballroom looking around for his date. He tried to stay inconspicuous as possible as he turned on his ear device speaking into it. "Okay where is she. I didn't think anyone could arrive later than me but she gets the prize."
"Hate the competition Stark?" Fury asked chuckling into his ear.
"As a matter a fact I do. So when am I going to meet this source person. Or whatever it is? " He took another look around and instead of discovering his date who he didn't even know what she looked like, he found Richard Allen instead with a nice looking chick at his side talking and laughing with a couple of other rich lowlifes.
"Don't worry about that. Do you see Allen?"
"Yes, right in my sight."
"Do what you do best."
"Stark out."
Tony watched Allen for a couple of seconds before fixing his bow tie and making his move. Annoying opera was playing and he decided that he needed to interrupt so that his voice could overthrow the shitty music. Where was Black Sabbath or Iron maiden or something? Did these people have no taste? This was something Steve would listen to; he thought just to be mean.
He made his way clumsily through the crowd and called out Richards's name. "Hey Richard my man, how are you? It's a nice party don't you think?"
The man shocked, looked flattered at first that someone even knew who he was and that someone being Tony Stark, the most famous man in the world, or close to it.
"Tony? Tony Stark." The man asked with a charming smile. He excused the folks he was gathered with. "I've heard a lot about you."
They shook strong hands. "That's always nice to hear." Tony smiled conceitedly.
"If you like you can sit with my date and I. We can talk about your work." Richard offered. He was in his mid thirties and very classy in his charisma. No doubt an aristocratic.
"Sure." Tony let off fake excitement.
"Catherine, you know Tony Stark?" Richard asked his date, bringing her forward.
"Who doesn't?" she laughed shaking his hand. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"It's my pleasure."
"Where's your date. We would love to see whose worthy of Stark himself." Richard's lady asked giggling as she took sips from her glass.
"Uhm she's in the bathroom. She'll be right out." He lied feeling like a loser because he was the only one in the room without a date at the moment. Speaking of her where was she? Shouldn't she be there already? She'd better be hot he thought, just to outclass the rest.
His mind then turned to the source; He thought about it, if Doom was after another source of magic, the only one he could think of was Enchantress.
Richard took his date and they found a table. Tony gave them a sign that he would be joining them in a second. He turned around. "Fury I'm getting angry, where's my date? And is this person Enchantress? If it's Enchantress I'm going to be absolutely angry. I'm gonna be angrier than the hulk." He ranted in his ear piece like a diva.
"What if it is?"
"Remember last time she attacked us, she kicked me in my privates and I refused to pee for a week."
"Who you will be dealing with now is much, much more sassy."
That didn't give Tony any help at all or any clues to who it was. He never met another woman sorceror. Atleast he didn't think he did.
Richard looked Starks way awkwardly glancing. The man looked like he was talking to himself. "Stark come join us." he called welcoming.
Tony recovered himself and headed over there sitting down. "Sorry about that, blue tooth wasn't working."
"Did your date get stuck in the toilet or something?" Richard asked Tony while looking at the menu but Tony didn't care for his dry humor.
"Maybe she found another." Catherine jested snottily and they all laughed out loud, Tony making it obvious that it wasn't funny at all. "Stark she must be a beautiful girl, especially to tag along with a man so rich."
"She sure is lovely. How's the menu here?" He changed the topic quickly.
Natasha and Clint were in the back of a van parked in front of the building, listening in on Tony's conversations at the table. They shared eachother uncertain glances.
Ten more minutes passed by and Tony was looking from his seat for her. She was almost an hour late. He couldn't believe it. Being at the table alone with two freaks obsessed with him was pretty awkward. He was the only one allowed to be obsessed with himself.
"So Tony how is saving the world going?"
Richard asked after the waiters had brought them more champagne.
"I thought you would never ask. It's going great. We haven't had much competition to deal with yet." He answered clearly full of himself.
"I see." Richard answered bluntly.
"What about this news about Dr Doom, escaping again. Aren't you worried he might be up to something?" Catherine asked obviously paying attention to the news but still obviously naive.
"Dooms not a problem for us." Tony replied sure enough of himself.
"That's exactly what the world needs to hear, that the Avengers are out to protect us." Catherine cooed.
"That's our job." Stark just smiled.
He averted his eyes to the menu and then at Richard who seemed to be distracted by something. Stark chugging his champagne put the glass down while turning towards the stairs where the most beautiful raven headed woman came strutting. Her dress was dark green, shaping her curves, decked in gold accessories with knee high boot heels. She definitely stood out it in the crowd concerning fashion. And looks. She looked right at Tony and smiled.
"That must be her." Catherine suggested.
Tony was shocked. It had to be her. She was coming right to them. She had the prettiest smile and Stark seemed to be lost in it.
Richard and Catherine were looking at him weird that he would look at his own date like that as if this was his first time seeing her.
"Sorry I was late. Please pardon my manners. Had to fix my hair. It was a complete mess." she gave the most cunning smile to the two couples sitting across from Tony. "Hello love." she turned and kissed Tony on the cheek and then sat down politely fixing her dress.
"You look lovely hun." Tony still seemed baffled. Damn! Fury hooked him up!
"Thank you babe. I'm Laney by the way." She introduced herself to the couple.
Together Tony and Laney looked like the bitchiest couple. Both dark haired and dark mannered.
They started to discuss and talk more through the night. Time was dying quick.
Richard had dismissed himself to speak with a couple of others, while his date was trying to have a discussion with Laney but Laney didn't seem interested just giving nods and short replies. Stark was frantically shifting in his seat looking around at nothing while the two girls made conversation?
Catherine watched as Laney anally poked her food looking at it with disgust. She cleared her throat. "You're not the talkative type are you? I bet it's because Tony does all the talking. I can see why a girl of his would be this shy."
Stark just smiled but it quickly faded. Not just those at the table felt the tension, but the entire room did, as the lights dimmed a whole stop darker. Laney glared darkly at the chick. "Shy? I'm far from shy sweetie; I just don't feel like talking to you at all. You're annoying and your hair looks like it came straight from a goat." Laney leaned back in her seat and took a sip from her glass of champagne. Tony laughed trying to lighten the mood, not expecting that. Okay so maybe his date was a complete sociopath.
"How dare you?" Catherine's mouths dropped as she gasped.
"She didn't mean it." Tony apologized quickly. "Right honey you didn't mean it? She forgot to take her meds that's all."
Catherine started nervously fixing her hair, and Tony noticed that no one could make someone feel that insecure about themselves unless you were the god of it. She immediately dismissed herself.
Things turned serious. Possibly too serious.
Laney placed her hand on Tony's upper leg close to his cock. Then she leaned into his ear with a dark whisper. "Here's the plan love, Richard has been eye fucking the shit out of me since I've arrived. I am going to excuse myself and he's going to follow. Then I'm going to lure him into the bathroom and we're going to fuck on the counter tops. You'll come look for me after ten minutes and we'll question him together. But be there in exactly ten, because when times up and if I'm annoyed enough, I will kill him if no one else stops me." His evil date stood and walked away, seductive in her hips while giving a small wink to Richard.
"Fury who is my date?" his voice had a certain fear in it.
Fury sighed thinking he shouldn't give too much away. "The source of magic Doom is after. " he answered simply enough.
"I know that but that is definitely not Enchantress." Tony said getting up from his seat after spotting Richard follow her. "I've never seen her or heard about her before. Who is she?" he demanded more serious than he's ever been. When he figured no one would answer him he snatched the device from his ear and put it into his pocket. He would just have to find out himself.
Laney walked out of the girl's bathroom peeking into her small purse knowing Richard was pretending to be on his way to the mens bathroom. He ran into her and apologized seeing who it was. He smiled charmingly but Laney didn't fall for it at all. In fact everyone seemed to be falling for her instead.
"Are you enjoying the party miss lady." He asked her sort of cornering her.
"Of course." She could smell the strong wine on his tongue. "Two handsome men at my table, I don't know what more I can look forward too." she started to play with his tie. Then she looked right at him, eyes attractive and as green as magic. Lips parted into an evil sexy chant. "I'm not going to lie, Mr. Allen, I want your dick in me."
The next thing she felt was his lips on hers, his tongue fighting for dominance and her snatching him into the women's bathroom and into a stall. She was moaning fakely as he lifted her dress up and sliding rough fingers up her thighs caressing her skin.
Tony looked at his watch finding this to be the weirdest situation ever. Was he really following through with this? He didn't even know her and was already taking orders. This was complete bullshit.
Richard was biting and suckling at her neck, as she began undoing his belt. "Oh yes! right there."
Tony dismissed himself quickly before anyone decided they would stop and talk, and hurried towards the ladies bathroom. He was going to feel weird just entering it. Ten minutes wasn't even completely up.
"You're a naughty boy," Laney purred as his hands met with her breasts, feeling them up.
"Well you're a beautiful lady." He slurred as his pants dropped. He was horny as ever. Laney smirked lifting an eyebrow. "And I like rough women like you."
"Do you? Good. Now let's get rid of this tie." She pulled on it and wrapped it around his throat tugging even harder then loving the choking sounds he was giving off. She couldn't retain her smile.
He was trying to get it unwrapped struggling to get any air.
"Where is Doom?" Laney's voice turned into one of familiarity.
Richard eyes widened seeing the beautiful lady reveal his real self. "You, you tricked me."
"That's who I am. It's what I do best. But people give me little credit for my evil doings. I don't kill much mortals but I have no problem with it. So answer me, where can I find Doom?"
"You're never going to find him!"
"Wrong answer." She picked him up and slammed him on the counters.
Stark heard all the noise. Hoping not to see anything romantically or friskily going on he entered only to see Laney with her heel at Richards's throat. She also had a dagger tightly held in her hand."
Stark walked over to Richard looking down at him playing along. "We heard you're working for Doom. Confirm this."
Richard was struggling to speak. "Yes."
Laney stabbed the heel harder making Richard gag. "Where is he?"
"He can't talk like that."
"So. He will be damn sure to answer if he doesn't want his throat cut out."
Tony sighed putting his hands at his hips. "Look I've only known you for like two hours. So don't think I'm going to be nice to you just because you're a girl."
Laney removed her foot. "Ooh, you think I'm a woman."
"You have tits, probably a vagina and you're sexy as hell. I could be wrong about the vagina though."
"I'm flattered." she coiled.
Tony looked at Richard. "Look, you either answer us, or I'll let her kill you. What is Doom up to other than wanting Laney's powers." he figured he'd ask since S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't telling him. "It's an easy question."
"Laney? You mean Loki!" Richard spat. "The most powerful sorcerer he's ever had the pleasure in working with until the betrayal. Loki the brother of Thor."
Tony quickly looked over at Laney. He finally got the hint. She was wearing royal green and gold, black shiny hair, trickery to her smile, the presence of her was the same, her name started with an L and she was a complete fucking bitch. Fuck.
"Oh come one Stark you didn't see this coming?" Loki transformed back into his male self along with his famous trickster grin.
"I think I need to throw up real quick." Tony was about to throw himself a panic attack.
"Well the bathroom is just the right place for you then. Darling." The wicked smile formed. "How's my brother by the way?"