A.N.: OK, yeah, I know you're all going to hate me for writing this. I know, okay. I took that risk by writing it in the first place. I, on the other hand, thought it would be funny. So, I'll be switching back and forth between P.O.V.'s throughout the story, just be warned. Yeah, be warned…Be very warned…eheh…

Disclaimer: Do you actually expect a loser like me to own RK? I don't…

A Look Through Different Eyes
Part I
Chapter I: The Conflict

I'm always staring at him like he's just beyond my reach. I don't know why. I could just come out and grab him whenever I feel like it. It's not like some barrier is protecting him. He's always right there. Every minute of everyday…

Wow. Listen to me rambling. It's just that…well…Kenshin's really stupid! Can't he see me watching him? Doesn't he notice that I care for him…more than he probably cares for me…?

Oh my god…What am I saying? Kenshin probably only sees me as a little sister, I'm sure. I guess…that maybe I should try to see him as a big brother. But that's totally weird! I could never picture Kenshin being my brother! Ew! Just imagine it! He may see me as a sister but I could never see him as a brother. Nope. Not gonna happen.

But I suppose that doesn't change the fact that…we can never be…It just wouldn't be right. I can just imagine Yahiko. He would be terrified. No, he'd be mortified, more like it. Aw, how horrible for him.

Now, Yahiko, he's someone I could picture as a younger brother. He can be so cute, especially when I get him mad. The way his face gets all red and he gets all…speechless. So cute…But he can also be a royal brat! I don't think I'm at all as ugly as he says! I mean, I know I'm no beauty, but I'm not a hag either!

Anyway…like I said…Our relationship…Kenshin's and mine…I…I'm over the fact that it's just a fleeting dream…a dream…

(oo)

Oh, the way I catch her looking at me…At times I imagine it being in a romantic way. I, too, find myself dazed and watching her as she works, moves, sleeps…No! I didn't mean that! I most certainly do not sneak by Kaoru's room on purpose at nights when her door is open and I DEFINATELY do not stand there in her doorway watching her chest rise and fall in perfection as she sleeps until I cannot stand any more! What is going through your head?

But I could not possibly do any more than just that. I could never do more than…gaze upon her and be marveled by her beauty…No, I could not. It's just…unthinkable! It is obvious that she sees me as an older brother to her, protective and kind. She could never see me as…as a…No, she's much too…pure. Cliché, I know, but it's true. I could never…love her in the way that I want. This is another great punishment for my deeds of long ago that I can regret during my dying days.

I know that when it is too late I will wish I had opened up and told her my true feelings, even if she were too reject me. I would expect that, but since I'm not going to anyway…I guess you think me a fool, don't you? I don't care, I could never destroy the perfect life she has now. If we had never met…No, don't even think you stupid loser of a rurouni! If I had never met Kaoru…then what? What do I want to say now? What is it that comes next? If I had never met Kaoru…things would be much different. That's all I can come up with for now…

Well, it's true that I love Kaoru, I love her with all of my heart, but it can't work. I must atone for the misery I spread throughout Japan. If I simply go out and do the thing that would make me the happiest…it would be even more to atone for. I would have to atone for abandoning my mission of atonement and that would make her miserable. Another thing I would have to atone for. My sole purpose in living this moment is to atone for past sins. Otherwise I probably wouldn't be living right now.

Sigh…Besides…Think of the age difference! If I were a father I would never let my daughter fall in love with a man ten years older than she is! It's…I just…Sigh…

(oo)

I finished my evening training. It was dark outside Already. I don't know why I decided to train so much today. Even Yahiko got tired out and went to bed before I was even finished. I set my bokken on the rack and strutted casually over to the kitchen where I knew Kenshin was cleaning up after dinner. He was so stubborn. He would never rest…except when I started yelling at him to do so…

I stood there in the doorway of the kitchen and stared at his back as he cleaned up. I stared at the way his red hair moved when he did, at the way he breathed… Then, all of a sudden he turned around.

a/n: plz review!