Loving Lily

Chapter One: Oh Bugger!

Teddy Lupin was twenty eight, Lily Potter was eighteen, and he'd been in love with her for three years - three years that felt like a lifetime because he'd been in a relationship with her cousin, Victoire Weasley, and pretending to himself that his feelings for Lily weren't real, that they were just a product of his imagination.

But Victoire had started to show signs of wanting a bigger commitment from him, one that involved a ring, and it had been the jolt that he'd needed to realise just how unfair he'd been to her these past three years, so he'd finally decided to do the right thing and break up with her.

So he'd moved out of the flat he'd shared with Victoire and moved in with Harry and Ginny until he could find his own place. Of course, they didn't know the real reason he'd broken up with Victoire, which was just as well or they'd probably finish the job Victoire had started and actually kill him.

He thought back to two months ago when he'd finally grown a pair (and nearly lost them) and broken up with Victoire. To say that she hadn't been happy was the understatement of the century. She'd been absolutely fuming after she'd got over her initial shock.

'Why, Teddy, we're great together, so why do this?' asked Victoire.

Teddy paced to the window of the flat they shared and stared out. 'It just isn't what I want any more, I'm sorry.'

'There must be a reason, Teddy! We love each other, we can make this work.'

Teddy turned around slowly to face her. She was stood in the middle of the room with tear stained cheeks and wringing her hands together. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, the woman he'd thought he loved, but he had to be honest with himself, with both of them. She deserved to know the truth - he owed her that much. 'I'm sorry, Victoire, but I love someone else.' He closed his eyes so as not to see the hurt cross her face. There, he'd finally admitted it.

Two seconds later he wished he hadn't.

Hurt had quickly given way to anger and Victoire looked ready to commit murder. Teddy Lupin, Auror, paled at the sight.

'How can you love someone else when you have me?' screeched Victoire. 'I'll make sure the boyfriend-stealing-witch can't have you!' she screamed, pulling out her wand and firing a curse at him.

When Teddy saw the curse headed straight for his bits his Quidditch reflexes kicked in and he dived to the side, feeling the wind as it whistled past him and hit the pillows on the sofa, causing feathers to explode across the room.

'Victoire!' he exclaimed. He winced when he realised it had been a Shrinking Hex.

'Serves you right,' she sobbed. 'How dare you cheat on me!'

'I haven't cheated on you!' he replied. 'Nothing has happened - I wouldn't do that to you! It's just how I feel, and I can't help it, I'm sorry.'

She picked up a glass vase off the mantlepiece and threw it at him. 'Liar!' The vase shattered on the floor a foot away from him.

'That's enough, Victoire!'

She crumpled onto the sofa amongst the feathers. 'Just get out, Teddy, and leave me alone.'

'Okay,' he agreed, not knowing what else to do or say. 'I'll get my stuff later.'

Victoire looked up at him as he turned to Disapparate. 'Who is she?'

Teddy bit his lip and shrugged. 'It's not important.' How could he possibly tell her that he was in love with her much younger cousin? He couldn't.

He shook himself back to the present and wondered wryly just how he'd got himself into this predicament as he stood on platform nine and three quarters and waited to meet Lily off the Hogwarts Express as she returned home from her final year at school. Harry had suggested it would be a nice surprise for Lily if he met her off the train. He could hardly say no. He was already pretty far up the proverbial creek without a paddle given that he'd now be living under the same roof as her.

Lily. He hadn't told her about the break up yet - he hadn't seen her since the Easter holidays and it wasn't exactly something that he wanted to explain in a letter. They were best friends despite the age difference and they'd been confidantes for as long as he could remember, starting from when she was just a little girl and he'd always been able to tell her anything - anything except the fact that he was in love with her of course.

It had been torture to be around her once he'd realised he'd started to have feelings for her. He'd initially put it down to her changing from a girl into a beautiful young woman and he'd thrown himself into his reationship with Victoire in order to have a reason to distance himself from her. It hadn't worked.

The steady chug of the train notified him of her impeding arrival before it appeared around the bend in the track and pulled up at the platform. Within minutes the whole area was inundated with students chattering to friends and relatives alike. He looked around for her, but couldn't see her tell-tale red hair anywhere. Just as he was about to look further down the train, he saw her.

'Teddy!' she exclaimed, running towards him with a big smile on her face and flinging her arms around his neck.

He groaned inwardly as his traitorous body roared it's approval at the contact. He tried hard to ignore the feeling of her breasts pressing firmly against his chest. Luckily she pulled away.

'I wasn't expecting to see you here,' she said as they walked back to her luggage which she'd abandoned to run to him.

'I'll go then, shall I?' he teased.

'Don't you dare,' she laughed.

He tapped her trunk with his wand to shrink it before his picked it up and put it in his pocket. 'Ready then?'

They arrived in the garden at the Potter's house with a pop. Lily sighed. 'It's strange to think I'll not be going back to Hogwarts.' She turned and hit him lightly on the arm as they began to walk up the garden. 'And you don't write enough.'

'Sorry,' he replied.

'Victoire have you on a tight leash, does she?' Her eyes twinkled with mirth.

'Well, about that...' He trailed off as they entered the house and Lily greeted her parents enthusiastically. He slunk away to take her trunk upstairs.

He went into his own room after he'd set her trunk in her room back to it's normal size. He sat on his bed with a sigh and rested his head in his hands. Honestly, what was he doing? Living at the Potter's was only meant to be a temporary thing while he found his own plae, but Victoire had an expensive taste and he'd found he couldn't afford it just yet. He'd broken up with her because it wasn't fair to her, but that didn't mean he'd intended to end up living under the same roof as Lily.

He sighed again. Damn. He knew it was futile to love her as he did - he was too old for her and there was no way she'd ever feel the same as they were practically family - but what was he supposed to do now? He wished he knew.

He raised his head at the sound of the door opening. Lily walked in.

'Hey,' she said softly. She moved to perch on the edge of the desk opposite him. 'Mum told me...' She flicked her hair over her shoulder as it glimmered in the sunlight streaming in from the window behind her. 'Are you okay?'

'Yeah, I'm fine,' he said, smiling weakly as he tried hard not to stare.

'Liar.'

He didn't reply.

'What happened?'

I'm in love with you. He shrugged. 'It just wasn't working for me any more.'

Lily arched a brow. 'I bet my dear cousin didn't take it too well?'

He chuckled. 'She threw a vase at me and tried to hex my bits off,' he admitted.

She gave a rich and full laugh. 'Typical drama queen then.' She eyed him shrewedly. 'I take it she didn't succeed?'

He shook his head. 'Nah, all still present and correct.'

She waggled her eyebrows. 'Just as well then, or there'd be some disappointed witches!'

Damn again, thought Teddy, just how have we got onto this topic again. Very, very dangerous territory!

'You could have told me, you know,' said Lily quietly.

You wouldn't want to know this! Teddy nodded instead. 'I know, but you were busy with your exams, and I...' He shrugged.

'Well they're over and done with now,' she said lightly. She jumped off the desk. 'Do you fancy going for a fly?'

'Sure.' He accepted the hand she offered to pull him up off the bed. Bugger, he really was going to have to find a place of his own soon or he'd literally explode at this rate.