A/N: I'm BORED! Therefore, I'm writing a new story in the form of a play. Its Harry Potter, so all those who don't like Harry Potter (~*gasp*~) don't read this.

Disclaimer: Isn't owning the plot and at least some characters good?

Act One, Scene One

Sorting Ceremony/Welcoming Feast

Dumbledore: Welcome to another year at this wonderful school. Unfortunately, in the uprising of Voldemort-(everyone except Harry and Dumbledore winces) I won't be here very much. However, Nicholas Flamel has managed to conjure up a temporary elixir of life that will last one more year. He will be your temporary headmaster while I'm away.

Ron, Harry, Hermione: Nicholas Flamel? Our temporary headmaster?

Dumbledore: Now, we'll have the Sorting. (First years enter)

Sorting Hat- First years put me on

Without fear and doubt

I'll tell you where you go

Maybe to Gryffindor

Where you'll have to be brave

Or to Ravenclaw

You'll become smart and witty

Or maybe to Hufflepuff

You can't be untrustworthy

Or you be in Slytherin

In the place where you find power

Just don't feel sick

I'm quite safe

I tell you where to go!

(~*song ends*~)

Professor McGonnagal: When I call your name, just come up and put on the Sorting Hat. Arulize, Sally!

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW! (Ravenclaw table cheers)

McGonnagal: Azure, Terilyn!

Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN! (Slytherin table cheers)

McGonnagal: Barns, Johnathan!

Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF! (Hufflepuff table cheers)

McGonnagal: Bavlier, Barnaby!

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR! (Gryffindor table cheers)

McGonnagal: Bones, Laurel!

Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF! (you get the idea…)

McGonnagal: Brown, Maui!

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!

McGonnagal: Case, Helen!

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

McGonnagal: Cretein, Jesse!

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

McGonnagal: Daemon, Jordan!

Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!

McGonnagal: Day, Kelly!

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW! (voices fade, lights dim, Welcoming Feast starts)

Nearly Headless Nick: Good to see you all again! New students, my name is Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington.

Hermione: (quietly) First years, just call him Nearly Headless Nick.

Jesse Cretein: How can he be nearly headless?

Nick: Like this. (pulls left ear, almost whole head comes off, new students scream or groan)

Harry and Ron: Now you all know why he's Nearly Headless Nick…(blackout)