This story focuses on how compatible each girl is with Hiccup based on their canon personalities and canon compatibility. Hiccup's canon love interests (Astrid and Camicazi) are naturally the most compatible with him. They were created for him. So duh! This is not meant to be a ship bashing fic, it's based on canon traits and dynamics. Some characters are simply better off as just friends. And frankly you can't bash a relationship that doesn't even exist or was ever meant to exist.
I wrote this story with my best friend and it takes place over four seasons; Winter, Spring, Summer and Autumn. Enjoy!
-:-
Winter
Her name was Heather but he would always come refer her as The Deceptive Illusion, also known as The 'Perfect' Girlfriend (that didn't turn out to be so perfect after all.)
When Hiccup had first met Heather, she had 'seemed' all around perfect. Sweet and innocent.
They connected almost instantly.
Hiccup quickly discovered how much they had in common, even down to their personality traits.
Some may even say Heather was almost like a female version of him. Only much better looking. Well according to his cousin at least.
So he approached her, and soon enough they became official.
Hiccup Haddock finally had a girlfriend and that caused pride to well up in his chest.
It might not be the girl of his dreams, he actually had a type (believe it or not) but she was nice enough. It was not as if he could do any better anyway. He should just be grateful Heather wanted to go out with him in the first place.
Since they were so extremely alike, Hiccup and Heather began spending a lot time together.
Every week. Every day.
Every insufferable hour.
Their routines were beginning to become more predictable as a result, eventually leading Hiccup to wonder wether they spent too much time together.
But then again, love was something that grew stronger over time, so maybe it was just a dull phase in their relationship? Maybe it was just him being ungrateful?
Hiccup tried to remain enthusiastic and upbeat for as long as he could.
Be the optimistic one since Heather certainly wasn't a naturally chipper person, or even ever attempted to be.
For he had a girlfriend a breathing, human girlfriend.
He should be eternally grateful for it. Appreciate it even happened to him.
Not nitpick and complain about certain things.
Such as..
How selfish she was... just like him. Her tendency to space out... just like him. Or how much she always pitied herself and constantly complained about the wrongdoings in her life. Over and over again to the point the words lost any value and meaning.
Just like him.
Hiccup tried to push these irritating ticks and annoyances away from mind, but the damage was already done. Especially when Heather herself was starting to grow tired of him and his daily habits.
Like his slouched shoulders and his habit of muttering to himself. He couldn't help it, and it wasn't like she didn't talk to herself as well.
He heard her. Plenty of times. Why was she complaining about something she herself was guilty of? This often made him fume but then also made him feel guilty since he was being a hypocrite. Well, kinda.
It still didn't mend their relationship though.
Slowly but surely, all the qualities Hiccup had initially overlooked started to become more obvious. Even when Heather was in a good mood Hiccup couldn't help but scrutinize her every move. One time she had been chatting happily on the phone with her friends and Hiccup couldn't help but obsess over the fact she was telling them lies.
Heather's habit of lying was definitely not something he had noticed right away.
Everyone lied sometimes. It was all around natural. Or so it seemed until he realized Heather lied more than any other person he knew.
She lied daily, all the time. From the smallest insignificant white lies to the more bigger and unforgiving ones.
Hiccup began wondering how many times she had lied to him.
It was possible, especially with the way she had the tendency to exaggerate every situation.
When their fights began to break out more regularly, he discovered another flaw he had previously overlooked.
Heather could be extremely manipulative and sneaky when she wanted to be.
Often she would bring up her tragic past to justify her actions, or try to turn the fight around so he were solely to blame. Hiccup knew he wasn't completely innocent, but at least he didn't constantly try to pull out the 'victim card' like she did.
For many a month their relationship stayed dull before at last turning completely toxic.
Even staying in the same room deemed impossible. Hiccup felt like he was going to suffocate by her mere presence. He was so, so sick of her.
After they finally broke up, Heather still called him for favors, often resorting to crying to make him feel guilty and then practically forcing him to help her out.
Hiccup realized even their friendship couldn't be saved after that.
In another life they could have been good friends if their relationship had remained platonic. If he had not been lured by the deceptive illusion she put on for show. Or in this case the deceptive reflection.
-:-
Spring
Her name was Ruffnut and she was The Clean Break. Or the 'Spring Break' Hiccup amusedly snorted to himself.
She was definitely not the type of girl Hiccup would usually go for. Not the brightest or even the sanest.
Their relationship started off on a strip club of all places, because.. well.. Ruffnut was a part-time stripper.
Hiccup had been very reluctant about going down that route at first, turning her flirtations down for weeks until he got just the right amount drunk one day and woke up in her apartment.
Maybe it was the after effects of the alcohol or the toll he had taken from his old relationship, but Hiccup kept Ruffnut's bed warm for the rest of the month.
They didn't converse much during the entirety of their relationship.
Never once feeling the need for small talk.
Just watching Netflix outside of their playtime in the bedroom (as Ruffnut would call it) seemed to be more than enough for both of them.
It was almost like an unspoken agreement which Hiccup was more than fine with since he wasn't looking for a longterm relationship any time soon.
His parents, however, weren't too overjoyed when they learned about Ruffnut.
They wanted him to terminate this 'relationship' immediately but the stubborn part of Hiccup held on a while longer just to spite them.
He stuck with her until she grew bored of him and moved on to her next victim. Some muscle bunt named Eret.
Hiccup simply gave Ruffnut a thumbs up when they finally parted and then moved on with his life.
-:-
Summer
Her name was Astrid, and in another life, she would have been his soulmate.
Hiccup stared at the baggage belt, waiting for a dark blue suitcase to arrive. (It had a black dragon key chain hanging from the zip so could find it more easily.) A lanky but nerdy looking brunet guy stood next to him obnoxiously texting on his phone. His constant snickering caused Hiccup a mild headache.
When the bag of question finally came into view, someone else quickly grabbed it and took off.
Hiccup didn't react right away, feeling mildly shocked for a moment before forcing himself to leap after his suitcase thief.
It appeared to be a girl in a hoodie and sunglasses. A sports-bag slung over shoulder while she hastily dragged his heavy blue suitcase along with her.
"Hey!" he had shouted, accidentally pulling off the head of her hoodie when she didn't react to his voice.
She turned to him, pulling her glasses and earbuds off.
Hiccup remembered being momentarily taken aback by her beauty.
His suitcase thief was quite a stunner apparently.
He quickly discarded those thoughts though and almost began demanding she handed over his bag. He was so sure it was his and she had taken it blindly.
She had appeared confused at first but then slowly began firing back.
Hiccup didn't expect someone so small and angelic looking to be this feisty, and took a subconscious step back, although kept his ground. Just as stubborn.
There they stood in the middle of the airport, exhausted from each of their respective journeys but still had enough energy left to engage in a heated public argument. Over a silly bag no less.
It all ended up being in vain in the end when it turned out, the suitcase belonged to neither of them.
It had belonged to that annoying brunet guy from earlier.
Blushing in shame at their public showdown, they had both returned to find their bags declared as last baggage on belt.
They momentarily stood in awkward silence afterwards before turning to one another, intending to exchange apologies. But then Hiccup's cousin's call interrupted at the most inconvenient moment and by the time Hiccup turned to the his ex-'suitcase thief' again, she was gone from sight.
He had been disappointed at first.
As luck would have it though, he quickly discovered they were both staying in the same hotel.
Their rooms almost side by side.
Later on, they unexpectedly ended up dining in the same restaurant.
Tables across from each other.
It continued on like this until their smiles turned from awkward greetings to flirtatious smirks.
In the end, Hiccup finally mustered up the courage to walk up to her.
Turns out, while they seemed like very different people, they shared the same sense of humor, ideals, ambitions and values. They had enough in common to forge a strong connection and were different enough to keep their relationship intriguing and dynamic.
Astrid wasn't the carbon copy of him, far from it. But she matched him perfectly in intellect, passion and spirit. And appearantly in bed too, he later found out.
As their relationship sprang to life, they both began unveiling new sides of themselves. Challenging and balancing one another. Sharing laughs and poking fun. Astrid even took to imitating Hiccup much to his secret amusement. She found his sarcastic nature infectious.
It was the exact opposite of Hiccup's first static and dull relationship.
Unlike his girlfriend back then, Astrid couldn't lie if her life depended on it. She was also terrible at keeping secrets.
Hiccup playfully smacked her on the butt whenever she ended up spoiling surprises.
Another difference was her optimistic nature. Astrid hated self-pity but still lend Hiccup a comforting hand and cheered him up. More importantly, she was very loyal and supportive. She was his perfect foil, and he brought out the better in her.
They may not have clicked right away but she became his best friend. His backbone. And eventually his full-time lover.
Their bond would only grow stronger and-
Well, it certainly would have if...
..Hiccup had not sneezed during the moment that first dark blue bag rolled out on the belt.. and actually missed seeing Astrid grab it.
For in the very next moment, his real bag appeared in front of him, which he quickly took off with.
His suitcase thief from 'another life' ended up in the arms of someone else.
While Hiccup himself ended up in a meaningless summer fling with an older woman.
He and Astrid shared an elevator once or twice during their stay but otherwise remained completely oblivious to each other's existence.
-:-
Autumn
Her name was Camicazi, Cami for short, and she turned out to be the love of his life. Also known as the sweetest memory from the earliest days of his childhood.
Hiccup had not expected to meet Cami again. He had simply been visiting his parents during holidays when they stumbled into one another.
He remembered feeling nostalgia well within him at first sight. Somehow, he managed to convince Cami to follow him back to his parents mansion.
While Valka and Stoick adored Cami, thinking of her as their daughter, Hiccup's Aunt Greta was another matter. She had a bitter relationship with Bertha and as a result, didn't hold much of a liking to Bertha's daughter.
So during dinner, Greta deliberately brought up the subject of Cami's failed marriage, making the young girl freeze.
Greta's negativity eventually led to Cami fleeing out of the room and into the rock garden in his parents backyard. The rain was pouring hard during this season of the year and Cami's beautiful silk dress looked nearly transparent the moment she stepped outside. It left next to nothing to the imagination.
Hiccup had swallowed hard when he found her, shyly averting his eyes.
He didn't know how but the two of them had ended up in their old tree house. The one they used to play in when they were little.
It all happened so quickly.
One moment they were staring lustfully at each other, but the very next Cami was helping Hiccup out of his rain soaked shirt.
He felt so bare under her gaze. It was the first time she would see him naked and vice versa.
But hopefully not the last.
Years of passion laced in every touch and stroke as they made love into the night. Over and over again until sleep finally overtook them.
When Hiccup had woken up the next day, he found himself all alone and briefly wondered if it had merely been a dream.
But then he noticed a number written on the top his palm and grinned.
-:-
Nearly a year later, Hiccup found himself standing at the alter with his parents, smiling proudly at his bride to be.
Cami had always been beautiful but looked thoroughly breathtaking today. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way her beautiful curls danced in the moist autumn air.
Hiccup never expected the tiny girl from his childhood to be the one he would have ended up with.
Everything had worked out for the best. All his past failed relationships and experiences had led him to this exact day.
Cami smiled at him and Hiccup felt something tug at his heart. This was a relationship that would withstand time. He was sure of it.
Fin.
Hiccup could have just easily ended up with Astrid but the reason I chose Cami was because most people don't end up with their soulmate. They unknowingly settle down with the next best person and that is completely okay.