A Smartian Scenerio

by JoJo30

Max and 99 meet Kaos agents from Max's past.

April, 1969 . . .

Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 for Control, entered the Chief's office. The Chief was on the phone, writing on a piece of paper. He motioned for Max to sit, so he slumped into a chair in front of the desk. He glanced at his watch, it said 7:30 AM, then stuffed his hands in his pockets. A thousand thoughts went through his mind. Well, really only one thought . . . 99 had gone on a simple courier assignment early that morning. She was supposed to have called him the minute she made the drop. She hadn't, and he was worried.
The Chief hung up the phone and looked at Max. The expression on his face told the whole story.
"Chief? Is she . . ." He swallowed hard and his voice faded out. He couldn't say the word.
"No, no, Max! She's not dead, Kaos has her."
"Where?" Max sat up abruptly, sitting forward in his chair.
The Chief handed him the note. "They insist that you and only you are to meet them. Be at the Jefferson Memorial at 8:00 AM."
Max looked at his watch. "That's in thirty minutes." He got up and headed out the door.
"Max . . ."
"Don't try and stop me!" Max snapped, a bit louder than he intended.
"I wasn't even going to try."
"Sorry, Chief. I love her so much . . ."
"I know. Go, Max. If you need help . . ."
Max nodded. He hurried to the garage and got into his car. Roaring out, he almost sideswiped the Chief's new car, which was parked nearby. The weather called for sleet and freezing rain, unusual weather for Washington in April. It was already sleeting, so traffic was terrible. He got caught in a massive traffic jam near the Washington Monument. So he skirted around a Metro bus, bumped up on the sidewalk and got to the memorial ten minutes before he was due. He zipped his jacket, pulling the collar up against the cold. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and strolled around the statue of Jefferson, watching everything. There wasn't much to see, a few brave tourists and a man in a park service uniform, his hat pulled down low on his head, sweeping. The tourists left, but the man continued his work. Max knew this man was the contact - there wasn't any reason for anyone to be sweeping in this weather. Max casually turned his back and walked over to look out over the Potomac.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the man coming towards him. He tapped Max on the shoulder with the broom handle.
"Maxwell, long time, no see. Or should I say, Agent 86?"
Max turned.
"What the . . .?" he said in surprise. Standing in front of him was his brother, Alex.
"Looking for something? Like your wife?" Alex asked sarcastically, pulling the hat away from his eyes.
"You're with Kaos??" Max was appalled.
Alex shrugged. "Sure."
"You have 99?" Max's temper flared.
"Yes. And if you want her back in one piece, you'll come with me."
"That's why I'm here, you idiot."
"Now, now, be polite. It's not nice to call names. We wouldn't want anything to happen to her, would we?"
Max smiled politely. "No, of course not," he said sarcastically.
"I'm going to have to search you."
"I came unarmed. But, please, be my guest."
Alex patted him down. After he was satisfied that Max had nothing on him, he took out a gun and motioned down the steps. The walked down to the obligatory black car and Max was shoved into the back seat and blindfolded. His brother climbed in the front and motioned to the driver. About an hour later, the car came to a stop in front of a non-descript building near Washington National Airport. Max was pulled from the car and dragged down a flight of stairs to the basement. He was roughly thrown into a room where the blindfold was removed. There room had two chairs, a table, two cots with blankets a bathroom. The only light came from a floor lamp with no shade.
As Max paced the room, the bathroom door opened . . .
"Max!!"
"99!!"
99 threw her arms around him. Max held her as close as he possibly could, kissing her.
"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly, running his hands over her.
"I fought back when they grabbed me and got roughed up a bit."
"You have a black eye! Who did it?" He asked, gently touching the puffy area around her right eye with the tips of his fingers.
She pulled him down on the cot. "Max, there's something you need to know . . ."
He kept his arms tight around her. "I already know my brother's a Kaos agent. Did he do that to you?" .
"Yes . . . but there's more."
"I don't care how much more there is," Max raged. "I'll kill him!"
"Your father's Kaos too."
"Wonderful . . . this should do wonders for our security clearances."
There was a click, the door opened and two men entered, one carrying a suitcase. Max and 99 stood up.
"Well, well, well . . . my 'son' is the famous Agent 86 of Control," There was an inflection on the word 'son' that Max had heard, and been hurt by, many times before.
This time, however,, Max was so angry with his brother, he ignored his father's outburst.
"You gave her that black eye?" He asked.
"Yeah . . . but she clawed me first," he sniveled, showing Max his cheek.
"When I get through with you, you'll have more than a few claw marks to whine about!" Max threatened.
"Oh, be quiet. You'll never grow up," Samuel Smart said condescendingly. Then he grinned. "Ironic, isn't it? Kaos and Control, all in one family? Maxwell . . . Kaos needs information. And it just so happens I've found the perfect way to get it. Here's what I want. I want a picture list of all Control agents stationed in the Washington/Baltimore area. And the assignments they are presently working on."
"No." Max said.
"Your wife is quite lovely, I suggest you reconsider."
"And I suggest I don't."
"Alex has taken quite a fancy to your Agent 99. You might want to change your mind."
"No."
Samuel motioned to Alex. Alex pulled out a gun and walked over to Max and 99.
"Mrs. Smart, come with me. I think you'll discover I'm much better than your precious Agent 86 . . ." he said.
99 clutched Max's arm. He stepped in front of her and glared at Alex.
"I really hate to disappoint you, brother . . . but she isn't going anywhere with you."
Abruptly, Alex punched him in the stomach. Max went down on one knee, struggling to catch his breath. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw 99 take a swing at Alex, hitting him in the nose. Alex stumbled back a step, but managed to regained his balance. He brutally hit 99 in the face with the butt of the gun. She fell back onto the cot, blood oozing from the wound. Max was so enraged he found a breath, and came up from the floor with an uppercut that knocked his brother halfway across the small room. Max's father, surprising Max with his agility, quickly jumped him. He knocked him to the ground and landed several blows to his face, one of which opened a gash under his right eye. 99, shaking off the cobwebs, drew back her leg and kicked him brutally from behind . . . right in the nuts (thus fulfilling a promise made in December of '67). He tumbled headfirst over Max and fell to the floor, doubled up, screaming in agony. 99 jumped on him and punched him viciously in the face, with both fists, until she knocked him out.
Alex had finally managed to get to his feet. When he saw what was happening, he grabbed 99's hair and yanked her to her feet. Winded, he pulled her head back and put a knife to her throat. "All right, Max, get up."
Max got up, a bit unsteadily, blood obscuring his vision. He wiped the blood from his eyes with his sleeve. As Alex gave 99's hair an extra pull for good measure, his father moaned, momentarily drawing his son's attention. This gave Max the opportunity he had been waiting for. He scooped up his dad's gun and pointed it at his brother.
"Let her go, Alexander."
Alex pushed the knife closer against 99's throat, drawing a thin line of blood.
"No, Max, you drop the gun."
"Let her go. I swear, I will kill you."
Alex laughed. "You don't have the guts to try a shot this close."
Max caught 99's eye. "I love you."
"I love you, Max."
"Oh, how sweet," Alex sneered.
"Topeka, 1964," Max said, ignoring his stupid brother.
99 agreed with her eyes.
"What's Topeka, 1964?" Alex asked in curiosity, momentarily loosening his grip on the knife.
99 moved her head slightly, fooling Alex into believing that Max was aiming for his head. Now that Max had his chance, he fired, hitting his brother not in the head, but in the thigh. He immediately dropped the knife and crumbled to the floor, clutching his leg in agony. 99 snatched up the knife as Max lifted his brother from the floor and slammed him against the wall.
"You're gonna be so sorry you ever touched my wife," he said, punching him as hard as he could in the stomach and throwing him headlong onto one of the cots.
"DON'T MOVE!" He threatened, pointing at him.
He turned to 99. "Oh, Lord, are you all right?" He asked, putting an arm around her waist to hold her up.
"I think so. How about you? You look awful."
"I'm okay, I think. I wonder what's in the case?"
"Open it, Max, let's see what we've got," 99 said.
Max opened the suitcase. Inside was a length of rope, masking tape, a hammer . . . and two large body bags.
Max and 99, stared at each other.
"Were they were gonna kill us?" 99 asked. "We need help. Tie 'em up and I'll call the Chief."
"Right."
While 99 called the Chief on Max's shoe phone, Max picked up his father and threw him on the cot next to his brother. Using the length of rope from the bag, he tied them up, pulling the ropes taut. His father was still unconscious, but his brother was well aware of what was going on and gave Max a hostile look. Max ignored him. Instead, he grabbed his leg, causing him to howl. Using a towel and some of the tape, he wrapped the wound. He wasn't overly gentle, either.
"And they say I'm dumb," he whispered viciously in his ear. "You shouldn'ta loosened your grip on her, brother."
"Chief's on his way, Max," 99 said.
"Do you know if there's anyone else around?"
"I don't think so, it seemed pretty deserted," She put her arms around him. "Please, Love, calm down."
Max took several deep breaths, calming himself. He pressed his forehead against hers.
"You okay?" He asked.
"I don't feel so good."
"Here," he said, handing her the gun, "Take this and watch these two. And for Heaven's sake, sit down. I'm going find something to patch us up. I'll be right back."
"Okay."
99 sat at the table, her head throbbing and her stomach rolling. Her vision blurred and she rubbed her temples. Suddenly, the room started spinning. She knew she was about to pass out, so she called out to Max as the darkness overtook her . . .
Max, gathering towels from a linen closet in the hall, whirled when he heard 99 call. He dashed back to the room and found her slumped over the table.
"99 . . ." he knelt beside her. He checked her pulse and, to his immense relief, it was strong and steady. He moved the remaining cot away from the Kaos agents, giving his brother an angry stare. He gently picked her up and laid her on the cot, covering her with his jacket. He raised her feet and, after dampening a towel in the bathroom sink, he put it on her forehead and carefully patted her face.
"99 . . . can you hear me?" he whispered in her ear.
"I hope she never wakes up," Alex hollered from across the room.
"Shut up!"
"Max . . ." 99 whispered weakly.
Max sighed in relief and kissed her on the forehead.
The door burst open, scaring Max out of a years growth. The Chief, Larabee, Henderson piled into the room.
"Oh, my God . . ." The Chief said.
"Did you bring a doctor?" Max asked.
"We have an ambulance outside. What happened?"
"Asshole over there hit her in the face with his gun."
The Chief turned to ask Larabee to go, but he was already on his way.
"What's the story? Who are they?"
Max took a deep breath. "Chief, the younger guy is Alexander, my brother. The old man is my father, Samuel."
"Your father and brother?"
"I'm afraid so, Chief."
"Max . . ." 99 said faintly.
"Right here, Sweetheart. Chief's here too. We've got an ambulance outside."
"What about you? Chief, check him out. He's bleeding pretty badly . . ."
The Chief got a damp towel and gently patted Max's cheek. Max winced in pain at the light touch.
"You need to get that looked at, Max."
"I will, I will . . ."
The Control ambulance attendants appeared and carefully loaded 99 onto the stretcher. Max followed her to the ambulance and rode to the hospital with her, leaving the Chief to take care of his "family."
He held 99's hand as they streaked back to headquarters. The traffic magically moving out of the way. They turned down an alley adjacent to 123 Main Street, and disappeared through a wall that mysteriously opened up before them.
As they pushed 99 down the hall to an exam room, she gave Max's had a squeeze. He squeezed her hand back and looked down at her. She smiled and they disappeared into a room. Another nurse took his arm and took him into the room next to 99. They poked, prodded, took x-rays and put fifteen stitches in his right cheek, covering it with a bandage. They came to the conclusion that he had only minor injuries, so he sat down on one of the sofas and waited.
Several minutes later, a doctor came out of the room and sat down next to him.
"Max . . ."
"It's serious, isn't it?"
"No . . . she's got a slight concussion, but we did have to put a number of stitches in her cheek. We pulled some blood and we're going to keep her over night just to be sure."
Max went down the hall and waited. When they wheeled 99 out of the room, he took her hand and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.
"I love you," he whispered.
"She's asleep, she can't hear you," the doctor said.
Max straightened and stared at the man. "Yes she can . . ."

Max went to his office to shower and change. He took time to eat the lunch the Chief brought him, then fell asleep on the sofa in the office.
Several hours later, the Chief gently shook him awake. "Max . . . wake up."
"Is she all right?" he asked, sitting up. An act which made his head throb.
"She's fine and asking for you."
Max stood up too quickly and swayed on his feet. The Chief grabbed him and made him sit back down.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes. I got up too fast. Where are they?" Max asked.
"They're tightly tucked away in separate cells downstairs. Don't worry, Max."
"Keep them away from me . . . or I swear I'll kill them both."
"We have to talk about this, Max."
"Are we going to lose our jobs because of this?"
"What? No! Neither of you is going to be fired. Go see 99, Max. We'll talk about it later," he started to leave, but turned back, a peculiar look on his face. "By the way, your father has seventy-five stitches in his face. You must have really beat the crap out of him."
"Not me. 99," Max said.
"99 did that?"
"Yes. If you get a chance, ask him about . . ." Max whispered in the Chief's ear.
"He did mentioned he was a 'little painful' there . . ." the Chief replied, amused that 99 would resort to such tactics.
"Listen, when you talk to them, give them a message from me, especially Alex."
"What?"
He gestured with his middle finger.
"Max, please do me a favor . . . don't kill them."
"Of course not, 99 needs me. I don't intend to spend the rest of my life behind bars."
The Chief and Max made their way to 99's room. The doctor was coming out they got there. They talked for a few moments, then he motioned for Max to enter the room.
"If you need me, call the nurse's station."
"Thanks, Doc."
He sat on the bed and took 99's hand, pressing it against his cheek. Her eyes opened and she smiled at him.
"Hey, Love."
"Hey, Sweetheart, how are you feeling?"
"I'm a little bit dizzy."
"Me too."
"So I've heard . . ."
"Ha. 99, you've got fifteen stitches where Alex hit you. I'm so sorry."
"It could have been worse, Max. What did he say? Oh . . . 'I think you'll find I'm much better than my brother' . . ."
"I would have killed him before . . ." He looked away.
99 touched his face. "Look at me, Max."
He couldn't face her.
"Max!" She grabbed his chin and turned his face towards her.
He finally raised his eyes.
"Max, stop. I know how angry and hurt you are, but you've got to stop all this talk about killing . . . I don't want you to lose you because of them," She said, wiping the tears from his eyes.
"I'm not going to kill anybody. And look who's talking . . . you beat my father so badly he has seventy-five stitches put in his face," he smiled at her. "I also hear he's having some other pain too."
"Really!?" 99 grinned back, an evil twinkle in her eye. "Good. Max, they were beating us, it was self-defense. Where are they?"
"My 'family' is downstairs, in separate cells. The Chief is going to question them later."
"What will everyone say when they find out? Will they still have faith in us?"
Max shrugged. "The Chief doesn't have a problem with it . . ."
The doctor came in and said that if all went well, 99 had a minor concussion, but could go home tomorrow. Both of them would experience some dizziness from their injuries and needed to take it easy. On top of that, both were on light duty for at least two weeks.
A nurse came in, handed the doctor 99's file and left. The doctor read through the papers.
"Oh, boy . . ." he said to himself.
He turned to Max. "Max, could I speak to you in private?"
"Sure."
They walked into the hall.
"Max . . . your wife is pregnant."
"WHAT??"
"Your wife is . . ."
"I heard you the first time."
"She's only a few weeks along, so it's very possible she doesn't even know herself."
"Doc, the injury . . . could it harm the baby?" Max asked anxiously.
"I doubt it. As far as I'm concerned, she can still go home tomorrow."
Max stood with his hand over his mouth staring at the doctor. Finally, curiosity got the best of 99.
"Max, what's going on?" She called out the door. A sharp pain shot through her head and she put a hand to her forehead. Max came back and took her hand. The doctor had disappeared, having been called away on an emergency.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine, Max. My head just hurt a bit when I sat up."
"99 . . . were you waiting for the right time to tell me or didn't you know?" he asked softly.
99 stared at him in confusion. "Huh?"
"99, you're pregnant."
"Pregnant?"
"Yeah, you know, pregnant. A baby growing in there?" He replied, putting a hand on her stomach.
"Max, I know what pregnant means." She thought for a moment. "I am a bit late, but that's happened before. What about the injury?"
"According to the doctor you're about six weeks along. He says the baby should be fine."
99 put her head back and closed her eye. She sat in silence for a long time. Max watched her worriedly.
"You okay?" he asked.
"No."
Max took off his shoes and got into bed with her. He shut off the light and took her in his arms. She snuggled easily into his embrace. The tension left her as he held her.
"Better?"
99 sighed in contentment., "Oh, yeah . . ." She paused, "Well, this has been quite the day . . . I get kidnapped and the kidnappers are my Kaos-agents-in-laws. You get yourself captured on purpose. Your brother gives me a black eye, threatens to rape me and hits me in the face with a gun butt. We get into a really cool, violent fistfight and we all end up injured. And now, to top it all off, you tell me we're gonna be parents. Max, we were gonna wait."
"I know. 99, everything will be okay," he said softly, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.
"I know when this happened," She said slyly.
"Me too," he grinned back. "Last month, on that mission to that volcanic island. We got caught in that storm. We were drenched and cold . . . until we found that cave," he grinned. "The fire and the hot springs sure keep us warm."
"That's not all that kept us warm," 99 replied. "And it looks like we cooked up more than those horrible Lab hot dogs that night."
For the first time, Max laughed. "Mrs. Smart, that whole thing was your idea . . ."
"I take the Fifth." Her face became serious. "Will we testify?"
Max shrugged. "My guess is they'll be charged with kidnapping, assault and battery and espionage against the United States." He yawned.
"Why don't you go home, Love?"
"I'm pretty comfortable right here. Besides, it's freezing out there."
"They're going to throw you out soon anyway."
Max snuggled closer to her. "No they won't, I'm asleep. They won't wake me up. Love you."
"I love you too. But if you're asleep, how can you be talking to me? Max? Max?"
The only answer she received was a light snore so she pulled the blankets up over the both of them . . .

A week later . . .

"Max, thanks for coming," the Chief looked up from his desk. "How's 99? Any headaches?"
"Not bad, she's feels a lot better today."
"Morning sickness?"
"Oh, yeah . . ." Max replied. "Chief, I hate to rush you, but I promised I wouldn't be long. I need to stop at the store for a bottle of seltzer water and some oyster crackers."
"What?"
"It's the only thing that settles her stomach. It's not bad . . ."
"How are your injuries?"
"I'm fine. Hurts a bit, but that's all . . ."
"Thank goodness. Tell you what . . . get 99 her seltzer and crackers, then come back. As a matter of fact, I need both of you here. We need you to identify the two "Kaos agents" who beat you up."
"Chief, this is a tough one. I told you about my childhood - there are no feelings lost there. But this isn't going to look good. A lot of people don't think very highly of me and this will be their opportunity to try to get me out of here."
"Max, you don't have to worry about that."
"What are they being charged with?
"Kidnapping. Assault and battery. And treason, I think. That one makes them traitors. We've also got witnesses against them in other cases."
"That's why they took all the pictures before we were treated. Life imprisonment, you think?"
"Possibly. They could get the death penalty. I can't tell you anything about the other cases, Max, but apparently they've been with Kaos for a quite a while."
"I knew my father was a sadistic creep, but selling out your country . . ." Max shook his head in embarrassment.
"Money talks to some people, Max."
"I know, I know . . . Look, I gotta go. When do you want us back?"
"One?"
"We'll try. This weather is really weird. It's already getting bad out there. Willard's actually calling for four inches of snow."
"I heard that. But try, Max. I know this is hard for you, but it's really important . . ."
"Sure, Chief."
As he left headquarters, he saw that the snow was indeed falling heavier and beginning to stick to the grass and trees. And when he stopped at the store! It was jammed with people in the 'panic buying' mode, snatching up all the remaining bread and milk. He shook his head as he watched a man and woman actually have a tug-o-war over a half gallon of skim milk. Luckily, the line moved fairly quickly and he hurried home. Just as he walked in the door, the power went off.
"99!?" Max called out.
"Right here, Max," 99 said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
Max jumped. "Don't ever do that!" he admonished.
"Sorry, Max."
"Here . . ." he said, handing her the bag, "Let me get the flashlight."
He opened the closet and got the flashlight off the top shelf.
"99?"
"In the kitchen."
Max turned on the flashlight and pushed through the kitchen doors. 99 had poured herself a glass of seltzer and downed half of it.
"Feel better?" he asked, taking the glass from her hand and pulling her into his arms.
"Uh-huh," she said, hugging him.
"Let's go sit in the living room."
"Okay."
They sat on the sofa.
"Listen, 99, the Chief wants us at headquarters by one."
"Why?" 99 squinted at him in the semi-darkness.
Max sighed. "We have to 'identify' those Kaos agents."
99 groaned.
"You know it's standard procedure."
"What are we going to do, Max?"
"I don't know," Max said truthfully. "I finally got them out of my head, 99 but the past has a way of sneaking up and kicking you in the ass on occasion."
"And sometimes when the past comes back it kicks you someplace else . . ."
Max burst out laughing and threw his arms around her.
"Max, we might as well go now. The power's off and Control does have it's own power supply."
"Let's take a change of clothes and spend the night. At least it'll be warm."
"Okay."
An hour later they entered the Chief's office. They discussed the situation for several moments, then headed downstairs to the detention area. They entered a room with a sofa, an end table with a phone and long table with several chairs and a steaming pot of coffee on one end. The three of them went through a batch of papers, some of which Max and 99 signed. Max poured them all a cup of coffee, then he and 99 sat on the sofa.
The Chief looked up from the paperwork. "Are you two okay? We can do this later, but I think it'd be better if we get it out of the way. It's been a week and they're screaming for their constitutional rights."
Max shook his head in disgust, stood up and started to pace.
"We're fine, Chief," 99 said. "Let's get it over with."
"Okay. Max?"
"Okay," he said softly.
The Chief went over and put a hand on his shoulder. The two men exchanged a look. The Chief gave him a smile and squeezed his shoulder. Max reached up and grasped his hand. They nodded at each other and The Chief went to the phone to make a call.
"They'll be here in a few minutes," he said.
Max stood in the corner by the sofa. He nervously searched his pockets for a cigarette, then remembered he had quit. He had made this promise to 99 before they were married and he'd been doing very well. He hadn't had one since before their wedding and surprisingly he hadn't felt the need for one either . . . until today. He looked over at her and shrugged.
"Old habits are difficult to break . . ." he said.
99's only response was a smile, which disappeared as the door opened.
Alex and Samuel were brought in, shackled, and led to the table by a Control detention guard. They sat down and stared at Max.
"Tell them to let us go," his father said.
"You're out of your mind!" Max retorted. "You tried to kill 99 . . . and me. You're both in a lot of trouble, fella."
"Tell them you made it up out of spite Tell them you lied."
"I didn't lie."
"Yes. You did. You met with Alex and demanded to be taken to your wife, who came with him very willingly, by the way and then you proceeded to beat us up."
"Yeah, she sure did 'come willingly' . . . we had an incredible time." Alex leered at 99.
In spite of all her pleadings for Max to remain cool, 99 exploded. She jumped up from the sofa and slammed her fist down on the table.
"You lying sack of shit!" She yelled. "Who do you think you're talking to?" She turned to Max. "I never . . ." She turned back to the two men at the table. "This is ridiculous! You kidnapped me! And you have the audacity to say I slept with you???? I'd have to be completely out of my mind to even entertain such a thought, you dirt bag!" 99 was so angry, she couldn't even think of the proper words to use. Max came to her rescue.
"99 . . ."
She turned and faced him, tears running down her cheeks.
"Max, I love you. I swear, I swear . . . I never slept with him . . ."
Max took her in his arms. "I know that, 99. Do you actually think I'd believe anything the dirt bag says?" She sighed in relief, but burst into tears, burying her face in his shoulder.
"Oh, this is great," The Chief said. "Don't you see what they're trying to do? Max? 99? They're trying to turn it around. We have other, more serious charges against them, charges that have nothing to do with you. And we have witnesses. We can toss these charges, if you want. They're minor in comparison."
"I'd rather keep these charges," Alex said gaily. "It'll give me an excuse to talk about Mrs. Smart on the witness stand."
"Will you please shut the hell up!" The Chief yelled.
Max forced 99 away from his shoulder. He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes.
"99, did you hear what the Chief said? You wanna forget about it?"
"I wish I could have stood up to them without bursting into tears. I feel like a fool."
"99, not only are you recovering from an injury, you're pregnant. It's okay."
"She's pregnant???" Max's father asked. "How did you ever manage that?"
Max glared at him. "Shut up."
The two Kaos agents sat sardonically at the table, laughing as they made a vulgar comments about Max and 99. The Chief was totally flabbergasted at the whole scenario.
"What do you want to do, 99?" the Chief asked. He personally had several ideas, but they were illegal.
"Could you please get them out of here? Drop the charges, get them on something bigger. I want them in jail for life. Max?"
"Fine with me."
"Never could make up your own mind about anything, could you 'son'?"
Max groaned and shook his head. The guard motioned and they stood up. As they walked past the sofa, the guard suddenly grabbed 99, putting a gun to her head.
"Take the cuffs off or she's dead."
"Fool, you have the keys," Max's father said. He turned to the Chief. "As you well know, good help is hard to find . . ."
"I meant for Agent 86 to do it, Sir."
"Oh . . . good idea."
Max got the keys from the guard's belt and unlocked the shackles.
"Now, here's what's going to happen. We're going to leave here, using your lovely wife as a hostage. We want a car and no one is to stop us, or she dies. Got it, Chief of Control?"
The Chief sighed in defeat. "No one will stop you if you promise to let her go."
"We'll see . . ."
Max stood silent and fuming by the table.
"Not saying much now, are ya 'son'?"
Max remained silent. No one knew he had silently set off his secret alarm that notified Hymie that he was in trouble.
Samuel, Alex and the guard slowly backed out of the room, pulling 99 with them. Max's eyes met hers. She gave him a wink, indicating she was okay. They walked unmolested down the hallway, coming to the stairwell that lead to the parking garage.
Max and the Chief raced to the armory for munitions. Hymie met them there and Max told him what was going on. Hymie immediately devised a plan and told Max and the Chief to hang back and not interfere.
Meanwhile, Max's dad and brother reached the doorway leading to the garage. They stepped out to find a car waiting for them. As they walked toward the car, Samuel stopped.
"I think it's about time we took care of our 'little problem' . . . here and now," he said, putting the gun to 99's head.
99 closed her eyes and whispered a prayer.
"That won't help," Samuel said snidely.
"I love you, Max," she whispered out loud.
"How heartbreaking," Max's father said. "Your precious Max is about to find out how it feels . . ."
"Max did not kill your wife," 99 interrupted. "A drunk driver did. How can you possibly blame a thirteen year old? Just because he climbed a tree he wasn't supposed to?"
"Yes."
"That makes no sense."
"It makes as much sense as you loving him."
99 shook her head sadly, it wasn't the first time she had heard this comment.
"Ready?"
"Whenever you are . . ." a mechanical voice uttered.
Everyone turned to see Hymie standing behind them.
"Drop your weapons, please."
Samuel stared at him. "What? Are you serious?" He laughed, turning the gun from 99 to Hymie.
"Say goodbye, fool . . ."
Hymie slapped Samuel's arm upwards . . . and the gun went off. 99 hit the dirt and covered her head with her hands. The bullet hit the garage wall and shattered, showering her with concrete splinters. Hymie hit him again, this time knocking the gun from his hand. It skipped across the garage and slid under a car as Samuel screamed in pain.
"You moron! You broke my arm. Get him!" he shouted at the guard.
"I don't think so," The guard said, dropping his gun and running away. He was easily captured several moments later at the closed gate of the parking garage.
"What's the matter with you?" Max's dad screamed after him. "Alex, get him! He's not that big."
Alex slugged Hymie in the stomach, and promptly broke his hand.
"Are you quite finished?" Hymie asked nonchalantly, picking him up by the neck and letting him dangle.
Max's dad picked up the gun the guard had dropped. "He may be, but I'm not. First, I'm gonna take care of you . . . then I'm going kill her!" He pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Hymie in the head and ricocheted back. It hit Alex's dad in the chest, killing him instantly.
"Dad!" Alex cried, stunned. Hymie dropped him and he scrambled over to his father.
At that moment, Max and the Chief burst through the door armed with enough firepower to equip a small army. Ignoring his father, Max immediately knelt beside 99, horrified. He was relieved to see she was breathing.
"99, are you okay?" He asked.
"I'm fine. Help me up."
Max helped her to her feet.
99 put an arm around his waist. "Max . . . he's dead," She said quietly, pointing.
Max turned and saw his father lying on the floor in a pool of blood. His brother had been pulled to his feet and cuffed. He was in tears.
"You killed him!" he yelled at Hymie.
"What happened?" The Chief asked.
"He took the guard's gun and shot at me," Hymie intoned. "The bullet bounced off my head and hit him in the chest."
"How could that possibly happen?" Alex screeched.
Max put an arm around Hymie, "This is Hymie. He's a cybernot."
"A what?"
"A robot, dummy."
Max turned to him. "Thanks, Hymie, I owe you one."
"You don't owe me anything. You're my friend," Hymie said kissing him on the cheek. This time Max only smiled.
"Hymie," The Chief said, "Take him back to the hospital and get that hand taken care of. Then take him back to his cell. Put a double guard on him, I don't want him getting away again. Where's that guard?"
"I've got him, Chief," Larabee said, hauling the man over.
"Lock him up, too. We've got a lot of questions for him, but we'll deal with it later."
"Hymie, wait," 99 said. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks . . ."
Hymie smiled. "Any time."
Hymie and Larabee took the prisoners where they belonged.
The Chief called for the Control coroner. When he arrived, he plunked Samuel's body onto a gurney and pushed it through the garage to the morgue . . .

Another week later . . .

"Are you all right, Love?" 99 asked, turning over in bed and putting an arm around him. You haven't said much about what happened . . ."
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, 99." His tone was less than pleasant.
"Okay," she said softly, ignoring his tone. She snuggled up next to him. "'Night, Love."
"Good night, Sweetheart."
99 drifted off to sleep, but Max couldn't sleep at all. He finally slid out from 99's embrace and went downstairs. He sat in the a chair by the steps and stared out the window. He fidgeted for a bit, then stood up to look out at the cold, lingering effects of the snow storm. The street lights glistened off the snow that still blanketed the trees and grass. His emotions were in a turmoil. He was glad his brother was safely imprisoned and that his father had gotten what he deserved. But that was the whole problem . . . he felt guilty for feeling that way. He sighed. Damn it! Why? Why did his family end up being with Kaos, of all things?? He made a fist and hit the window frame. He buried his head in his arm and fought off the tears. He straightened, took a deep breath and headed back to the bedroom. He slid back into bed, put an arm around 99 and drifted off into an uneasy sleep . . .

2:00 AM . . .

"99!!" Max yelled, scaring 99 out of a sound sleep . . . and out of the bed. He was thrashing wildly, deep in the troths of a nightmare. When she reached out to touch him, he threw a punch, which landed solidly on her shoulder. She flinched and made an attempt to grab his arm. "Max! Wake up . . ." But he continued to flail away.
Not knowing whether it was the right thing to do or not, 99 ducked under his arms and sat on his chest, pinning him down by the shoulders.
"Max!"
Max awoke and focused on her. "99?"
"Who were you expecting? Stalin? You were having a nightmare."
"You're okay?"
"Y-e-s . . ." she said hesitantly.
He threw his arms around her, pulling her down on top of him. "99 . . ." He held her as close as he could.
"Max . . . Sit up, Love."
She helped him up. He sat shaking in her arms, his face buried in her chest.
"What happened?" she inquired.
"I had a dream about the other day. Only . . ."
"What?" she asked, gently caressing his head.
He started rambling. "When the Chief and I came out of the elevator, Hymie hadn't gotten there and you had been shot. Alex jumped me and we fought. I got his gun away and it slid into a corner. Dad kicked me. The Chief shot and killed him. Alex got up when he heard dad fall. He went for his gun. The Chief shot him too," His voice calmed and he stopped shaking. "You recovered, but lost the baby."
"Than what?"
He sat up, wiping his eyes on his sleeves. "Not much, I buried them next to Mom."
"That was a compassionate thing to do, Max, considering . . ."
"99, when we came out of the elevator and I saw you lying on the floor . . . Anyway, the dream was, like, in slow/fast motion, you know? Sort of . . . surreal."
"Uh-huh," 99 said, amazed by his use of the word.
The phone rang, making them both jump. 99 reached over and answered it.
"Hey, Chief," she said. "No, we weren't asleep, we're just lying in bed. No, Chief, you didn't interrupt anything." She grinned Max. He smiled back. "What? Okay, see you Monday. 'Night, Chief."
"What's up?" Max asked.
"He gave us the rest of the week off."
"Great!"
"Guess what they found in Alex? Microfilm of some top secret government project. It's so secret, the Chief wasn't even allowed to know what it is. He handed it over to the CIA."
"Where did he hide it?"
"Didn't you hear me say they found it 'in' him?."
"Yuck."
"Anyway, they've dropped the assault and battery charges. He's been charged with treason. Hopefully he'll go to jail for a long time."
Max said nothing.
"You okay?" 99 asked, worried.
Max sat thinking, then nodded. "I think so. But if I snap at you, ignore it . . . or smack me in the head."
"Max, let's go away this weekend."
"What do you have in mind?"
"Mom's?"
Max gave her a uncharacteristic look. "99, I love Mom, but it's been a rough couple weeks. I want to spend time with you."
"Max . . . my Mom's in Greece, remember? She's on that cruise with her friend Kay. She left a week ago and isn't due back until next weekend."
"Which means we have the whole farm to ourselves."
"Exactly. We'll have to do a few chores, but . . ."
"That's okay," Max interrupted, "I love doing the farm stuff."
After spending Christmas of '67 at 99's Mother's, Max had enjoyed working the farm so much they had gone back several times to visit. 99 had been astounded at how quickly he picked up on even the most difficult tasks. His particular favorite was baling hay. Everything had been going along fantastically . . . until mid-May, when they got into a huge quarrel over their failure to complete a vitally important assignment. The argument had continued over several days, and eventually escalated to the point to where the Chief had been forced to temporally separate them. 99 left on vacation for someplace called San Jirman Island and when she returned, the arguments ceased. But 99 was very cool towards Max, who tried his darndest to make things right again, even to the point of admitting he was wrong . . . something he rarely did. They seemed headed towards a reconciliation when 99 dropped a bombshell . . . she was engaged to a fantastically handsome man named Victor Royal. Stunned, crushed and very deeply hurt, Max followed 99 to San Jirman Island. He miscalculated her time of arrival, though, and got there before her. 99 was stunned when Max was introduced to her as Victor's new bodyguard, forcing them to fake the fact that they knew each other. Several days later, Max discovered Victor was a Kaos agent. He immediately told 99, but she didn't believe him . . . until Max accidentally slammed his finger down on a button, causing a picture on the wall to rise and reveal a map of Kaos' Uranium mine holdings. They made an attempt to flee the casino, but Victor and Louie trapped them. Deciding that two civilized men should be able to solve their differences without using firearms (or a nice quite little session of Karate), Max and Victor decided on one hand of poker, a five card showdown, the winner to kill the loser. Max knew from the moment the game started it was fixed. But, when Max won, Victor, always the gentleman, shot him from under the table. As he pretended he had been shot dead, a smiling and victorious Victor dragged the horrified and sobbing 99 towards the door. Max jumped up (the-old-bullet-proof-cummerbund-in-the-tuxedo-trick had saved him, you see) and shouted at them to stop. Shocked, they all pulled guns. Max shot Louie, but Victor shot Max in the arm and escaped (he was later snagged by the local police and jailed). After a quick trip to the hospital, they called the Chief and he ordered them to guard the casino overnight. For most of the night, they talked long and hard about the argument. Once again, Max admitted he had been wrong. From that point on, except for one silly, swell-headed incident where Max was appointed Chief by a Kaos imposter posing as the president, their relationship was unwavering.
"I know the hay's already in the barn," 99 said. "But it has to be put up in the loft."
"I love the hay loft," Max said. "It's so quiet and peaceful up there."
"I know, I used to study up there in high school. Let's call tomorrow and make plane reservations."
"Okay. What do you want to do tomorrow?"
"Why don't we stay in bed all day? We can watch TV, read, whatever . . . "
"What's 'whatever'?" Max asked, giving her a look.
"Whatever you want it to be."
"What do you want it to be?"
"Want what to be?" 99 inquired.
"Whatever you want."
"Whatever what?"
"What's that?"
99 got up. "I'm going to get us a drink before neither of us knows anything about what's what . . ."



Saturday . . .

99 came out of the kitchen of the farmhouse and shaded her eyes against the sun. She could see Max on the tractor, in his Washington Redskins hat, in the field adjacent to the barn, heading back towards the house. As he neared the barn, he looked up and waved. 99 went out to meet him. He jumped from the tractor and gave her a huge smile.
"I got those stumps pulled out. I'll take the chainsaw out later and cut as much as I can. Your Mom will have a lot of firewood. I'm still having trouble with that tire, though. Keeps losing air."
99 smiled at him. "I never imagined you as a farmer, City Boy."
"Why?" He asked, adding to the picture by chewing on a piece of straw and leaning against a tire.
"I just never thought about you, or me for that matter, being anything but secret agents."
"We're still spies, we're just taking a slight break. I'm gonna start putting those bales in the loft."
"I wish I could help you . . ." She was interrupted by the sound of the phone. "I'll be back."
"Okay."
Max checked the tire again, then headed into the barn. He stopped mid-step when he heard 99 call out to him, extremely upset. He ran to the kitchen, his heart in his throat, to find her staring at the phone, her face white.
"It's the Chief . . ."
Max frowned and took the phone. "Chief?" WHAT? How? Any clue to where he's headed? Oh, God . . . Okay. Yes, we have guns. Sure, Chief. Okay . . . see you soon." He hung up the phone.
"He's headed here."
"Yes."
"How did he get the address?"
"The file room."
"All the Chief told me was he got away. What happened?"
"They were transferring him to a more secure cell. He grabbed the guard's gun, knocked him out and managed to hide for several hours. Long enough for him to get into the file room and get this address. He left a note saying he was coming for us. Especially me. Then he shot his way out . . . several agents were wounded."
"Max we've got to get out of here!"
"We can't do that, 99. What if he shows up next weekend? Your Mom will be home. He'll kill her.'
"Oh, Max!"
"If I know my idiot brother, he'll be here soon so we better find a place to hide, somewhere with a good view . . ." He snapped his fingers and smiled. "The hay loft! I'll stack the bales out from the windows and make four cubbyholes. We can run tunnels between them. If we stack it several bales thick, and high, we can easily hide from him and also have a 360º view."
"So we're just supposed to hide out in the loft? Then what? Shoot him when he comes in the yard?" 99 asked sarcastically.
"Maybe. I don't know, 99. Look . . . we have almost a complete home with all that stuff your Dad put up there. A refrigerator, a bathroom. There's even that small fireplace. Why did he put all that stuff out there? Was it a secret hideout?"
"No . . ." 99 looked a bit embarrassed.
"So what . . . ?"
"Well, sometimes he and Mom . . ." she shrugged. "Dad built it as a rendezvous spot for them. So they could be alone."
"To do what?" Max asked innocently.
"Come on, Max!"
"Did they use it much?"
"Max! What a question!"
He shrugged, smiling at her. "Well . . . ?"
"As a matter of fact, they did. I knew the rules. If they were out there, I left them alone."
"I think that's a cool idea. Your father was a smart man, I wish I could have met him. Okay, here's the deal . . . let's call it a stakeout. It's not the first one we've been on and it won't be the last. We have to be able to see him coming."
"Your family is a fat pain. You don't have any other relatives, do you?"
"Not yet," Max said softly. "I'm truly sorry, 99."
"Oh now that really helps."
"Well what the hell do you want me to do?" Max snapped.
"I don't know . . . he's your brother!"
"Yours too."
"Only by accident . . ."
"Accident?" Max looked hurt. "99, it's not my fault. You can't pick and choose your relatives. And there's certainly no way to control what people think or do. Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not."
"Then what are you hollering at me for?"
"I don't know . . ." She paused, thinking. "What do you mean 'not yet'?"
"When you have the baby . . ." he shrugged.
All the anger went out of her. "Oh, Max . . ." she put her arms around him. "I'm truly sorry."
"Oh, now that really helps." He mimicked, hugging her.
99 sighed. "Let's get moving. We need to get our clothes and food up there."
"And our guns."
"That goes without saying. If it comes down to it, Max, could you kill him?"
Max looked at her solemnly. "99, he hurt you. That's one thing I will never, ever tolerate . . . from anyone," He paused for a moment as his emotions took over. "99, I love you. You're carrying a life . . . our life. If it comes down to it, could I kill him? Yes, 99, I'll kill him." He sounded a lot more cold-blooded than he felt.
It took him a little less than five hours to get the hay in the loft the way he wanted it. 99 wanted to help, but he told her implicitly not to lift anything heavy. So she packed everything they brought with them and carried it one piece at a time to the barn. Then she filled several boxes with food. She was about to lift one and carry it out when Max appeared. He had a small fit when he saw what she was doing. 99 sighed, went into the living room and sprawled out on the sofa. When Max finished carrying the stuff to the loft, he came and sat down beside her.
"I'm sorry I snapped, 99, but I really don't want you lifting anything heavy."
"Max, I'm not helpless. I know my limitations."
"Uh-huh. Sure you do. 99 . . . please, for me?"
"Okay, okay." She gave him a smile. "Which cubbyhole are we sleeping in?"
"The one that overlooks the yard. It'll give us the best view if anyone comes snooping about."
"Are we gonna take turns staying up to keep watch?"
"I'm going to keep watch. You need your sleep."
"You need your sleep too. Just how much have you had in the last few days?"
"Not much. Well . . . then we'll both sleep. Neither of us sleeps that deeply anyway. I think we'll hear anyone that comes in the yard, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Well, let's go then," he said, getting up.
"Max?"
He turned to her.
"I've got a great idea for out first night . . ."


Max and 99 were starting their second full day in the loft. It had turned out to be more enjoyable than 99 expected, even though they spent most of the day looking out the windows, eating and sleeping. 99 was having a hard time figuring out how the situation was affecting Max. He seemed like his usual self, but was more affectionate than normal. 99 was concerned because there seemed to be a part of him he wasn't letting her see, which was unusual. Usually they had no secrets from each other. She let it go, however, and asked him no questions. She knew he was having a very difficult time of it. She couldn't even imagine how she would feel if a member of her family turned out to be the enemy. Especially if that 'family' had tried to kill Max.
99 yawned and looked out the window again. It was dusk and the shadow of the house covered most of the yard. Max was curled up in the corner. She noticed he was shivering in his sleep, so she covered him with a blanket. She watched him sleep for a moment, then kissed him lightly on the cheek. When she turned her attention back to the yard, she saw him. He thought he was being sneaky as he hid behind the bushes surrounding the house, making his way to the back door. 99 glanced over at Max. He'd gotten so little sleep in the last several days, she hated to wake him. Making a decision she knew would infuriate him, she grabbed her red gun and slipped quietly out of the loft. She knew the area better than Alex and easily hid herself behind her old playhouse. They had purposely left some lights on in the house, so she could see him through the curtains, searching. He finally gave up and came out onto the back steps. He stood there for a moment, surveying the area. He grinned and started towards the barn. Just as he disappeared inside, someone grabbed her from behind, putting a hand over her mouth. She was dragged into her playhouse and the door slammed shut behind her. Suddenly she was freed.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Max whispered angrily, turning her around to face him.
"I wanted to get him . . ."
"Why didn't you wake me up? I almost choked when I saw you hiding out here and Alex on the porch."
"Max, I . . ."
"No excuses. We'll talk about this later. Right now we have to capture that idiot brother of mine and put an end to this nonsense once and for all."
"What are we going to do?"
Max frowned in thought. "It's me he wants. I'll go out there and make a bunch of noise. When he comes out of the barn, I'll jump him."
99 wasn't convinced this was the best idea Max had ever had, but she couldn't think of anything better, so she agreed.
Max slipped into the yard, picked up a wrench and started banging it on the side of the tractor, making a dreadful din. Alex came running out of the barn and skidded to a stop. Max, who had moved beside the door, jumped on him and a fight ensued. 99 ran from the playhouse.
"Stop!" she yelled, firing a round into the air.
The fight stopped and Max dragged Alex to his feet.
"Well, brother, I guess this is the end of the line for you. You aren't going to escape again."
Alex pulled a gun and Max grabbed it. As they struggled frantically, 99 came up beside them. The gun went off, the bullet harmlessly bounced off the weathervane on the barn. 99 aimed her gun at the struggling brothers. She hesitated . . . and when the two men temporarily separated, she got a bead on Alex and squeezed off a shot. The shot was way off . . . and hit Max. Alex rolled to his feet and picked up the gun, laughing hysterically.
99 stood there in shock as Max lay unmoving on the ground.
"Great shot, Mrs. Smart. Now it's my turn . . ." Alex said cockily, moving towards her. She fired again and this time her shot was true. He stood for half a second, the cocky smile disappearing from his face as a large red stain appeared on his chest. He slowly collapsed.
99 ran over to Max, jumping Alex's body on her way. She knelt beside him and turned him over. The bullet had hit him in the left arm, just below the shoulder. 99 took off her hooded sweatshirt and tore it into strips. She bound the wound the best she could, then fumbled with her watch-phone, putting in a call to the local police. She explained the situation as calmly as possible. The Chief of Police was an old classmate and he immediately called the hospital and told 99 he was on his way.
99 gently cradled Max's head in her lap as she applied direct pressure to the wound.
"Oh, Max . . ." 99 wept. "Please don't die . . ."
"Geeze, 99," He said groggily, "I thought you were a better shot than that."
"Max!?"
"Who else? Help me sit up."
"No. Don't move, Love. Help is on the way."
"99, please, help me sit up. I promise I'm not going to get up and walk away . . ."
99 grudgingly helped him into a sitting position against her shoulder, keeping the pressure on the wound.
"Is he dead?" Max asked, looking toward his brother's fallen body.
"I don't know. I hope so."
"You better check."
"I'll check," The Chief's voice surprised both of them. Neither of them had even heard him drive up. He bent over Alex, checking his pulse. "He's dead. Good, shot, 99."
"At least that shot was good . . ." Max whispered.
99 groaned as the Chief sat down beside them.
"Let me take a look," He unwrapped the bandage and smiled. "It's only a flesh wound. Lucky thing for you he was a bad shot, Max." He said, rewrapping the wound with fresh pieces of the ripped sweatshirt.
Max and 99 looked at each other. Max said nothing, but 99 lost a battle to hold back the tears.
"99, I'm going to be okay. Listen, here comes the ambulance. 99, stop crying, you're getting salt in the wound . . ."
The Chief stared at the two of them in confusion as 99 tried valiantly to pull herself together.
"What happened?"
"99 thought I was dead."
"Apparently . . ."
Max and 99 explained what happened. Max left out the part about "who shot who" and gave 99 a look to indicate she was to do the same.
The ambulance and the Chief of Police pulled up in the yard at the same time. Max was hustled into the ambulance. 99 flatly refused to leave him, so the Chief was left to explain the situation to the Police Chief, who agreed to let the government handle the investigation. Alex's body was picked up by the coroner and driven immediately to the small local airport for transport to Twin Falls and then on to Washington.
Meanwhile, Max had been taken to the local hospital. The doctor told 99 not to worry, it was a superficial wound, but Max would have to have stitches, requiring a local anesthetic. When the Chief arrived, 99 was sitting on a sofa, a cup of coffee in her hand. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. The Chief sat down beside her and put a fatherly arm around her.
"99 . . ."
"The doctor said it was just a flesh wound. No surgery, just stitches and a local." 99 rambled, sounding more like Max than herself.
"Then calm down. Max has had minor wounds before."
"You don't understand, Chief . . ."
"What don't I understand?"
"Alex didn't shoot Max . . . I did."
"WHAT?"
"I missed. Missed! They were fighting . . . they separated for a moment, so I fired . . . and hit Max," She shook her head.
"Oh, boy . . . does Max know?"
"He knows."
"What did he say?"
" 'Geeze, 99, I thought you were a better shot than that.' "
The Chief burst out laughing.
"It's not funny, Chief, none of this is. I could have killed him."
"99, you have to admit his response is classic Max . . ."
99 smiled for the first time.
"You know what he told me when this whole thing started? When you were first kidnapped?"
99 shook her head.
"He said 'Don't try and stop me. I love her so much.' " The Chief paused. "You know, 99, all those years you thought he didn't love you, he really did."
"I know."
"He told you?"
"Sure. There's not much we don't tell each other. Except . . . I don't know how he feels about all this, not really. Can you imagine? Your family is the enemy you've been fighting for years. How do you handle that? And then I kill his brother . . ."
"99, those men weren't his real family, hadn't been for years. They may have been blood relatives, but that's where it ended. You're his family, 99. You and that baby you're carrying."
"Mrs. Smart?" A nurse interrupted, coming up to them.
"Yes," 99 asked, standing up.
"Room 106. Your husband is ready to go and he'll walk out by himself if you don't get him out of here soon."
99 walked down the hallway and entered Max's room. He was sitting in a wheelchair, muttering under his breath. When he looked up and saw 99, his face lit up.
"Ah, my love, they said I could go, so please . . . get me out of here!"
"Where to?" 99 asked as she gave the chair a soft push to get it going.
"Back to your Mom's to pick up our stuff and make sure the house is secure. Then home."
"Good. I'm ready to go home."
She wheeled Max into the hall and down the corridor to the entrance. The Chief was waiting with his rental car to take them back to the farm.
"Listen, I hate to bring this up, but there's a slight problem," The Chief said, as they drove along. "As soon as Alex's body is released, they have to be buried. The wills we found in your Dad's house indicate they left everything to each other, but neither will stipulated who was executor or beneficiary if both died at the same time," The Chief sighed. "The official word is that you're the heir to the entire estate, Max."
"I don't want it."
"I understand that, but there's nothing you can do. You're the only living blood relative, so the responsibility falls on you."
"Terrific."
"Max, Larabee has the wills and I told him to read them. Now that's strictly illegal, but seeing how things are, I didn't think you'd mind . . ."
"He can throw them in the Potomac for all I care," Max snapped.
99 took his arm and gave it a squeeze. "Hear him out, Love."
"According to the wills, there is a significant amount of money in bank accounts and stock market funds. A lot of money . . ."
"How much?"
"Over $100,000."
"Burn it."
"$100,000? I thought you were cheap . . ."
"He is," 99 chimed in. Max gave her a look.
"I don't want anything to do with them."
"Part of it will have to go to bury them and the government will take it's large chunk," The Chief continued. "After that, Max, you can do what you want with it."
Max turned to 99. "What do you think?"
"Give it to Control. We're always in some kind of a budget crisis."
"Hmmmm . . . We'll see. I still want to burn it . . ."
99 was a little bit more than perturbed by his attitude. She understood it, but it was a great deal of money and it seemed asinine to burn it.
"Max, don't be ridiculous. You can't just throw it away."
"Watch me."
The Chief kept his eyes on the road and remained silent. Even he was disturbed by Max's attitude. He tried to focus his attention on the road as Max and 99 squabbled.
"Max . . ."
"99, please, the money is dirty. I don't want to have anything to do with it. Period. End of discussion."
"It isn't the end of the discussion. It's a problem we're going to have to deal with."
"What do you want to do? Spend it?"
"Maxwell Smart! You know I'm no spend thrift. I'm as good at saving money as you, maybe better."
"Yeah, yeah . . ."
"I told you what I wanted you to do . . . give it to Control. At least some good will come out of this whole mess with your stupid family."
"I guess that means I'm stupid too . . ."
"What?"
Max didn't answer.
"Max . . . look at me."
Max ignored her and stared out the window at the passing countryside. She caught the Chief's eyes in the rear view mirror and shrugged.
"So now you think I'm stupid . . ." Max said, turning back to her. "Well," he continued, "You need to go back to the firing range for target practice."
99 stared at him, hurt, a slow anger building within her.
"Now, listen . . . I didn't say you were stupid, you aren't. You know full well I've spent years defending you . . . and your intellect. Am I right?"
Max looked at the floor.
"Well?"
"Yes . . ." he said softly.
"Then why would I suddenly change my mind?"
"You should."
"Why?"
"I always said you'd be better off with out me . . ."
99 groaned. "We're not going to through that again. Max, I love you. Do you love me?"
"Yes, 99." He put his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry . . . I'm so tired."'
She hugged him.
"When's our flight, Chief?" 99 asked.
"I've got to make the reservations when we get to your Mom's. Tomorrow sometime?"
"Fine by me. What do you say, Max?"
"Whatever . . ."

99 woke up. It was still dark, so she turned to look at the alarm clock . . it was 3:15. She turned to put an arm around Max and discovered he wasn't there. She frowned and got up, running her fingers through her hair. She searched the house and, finding nothing, went into the yard. She saw him standing by the barn, near the spot where his brother had fallen. She came up behind him, but stopped short.
"Max?"
"Hey, 99, what are you doing up? You need your sleep."
"I was just thinking the same thing about you," she said, touching his arm. How's the arm?"
"Hurts a bit . . . I've had worse."
"I'm so sorry, Max."
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, touching her face. "It's my family who caused this whole mess."
"Then I don't need to go back to the firing range?"
"I didn't say that," he said, smiling and giving her a kiss.
She wasn't amused and pulled away. "Max, I feel horrible enough. Please don't joke about it."
"99, if we don't joke about it, it will always there, hanging over our heads. And if we ever happen to get into a bad fight, it's going to come up . . . and ruin everything. I don't blame you, it was circumstances. No, I think joking about it is the right thing to do. Let me ask you something . . . if the situations were reversed, what would you want me to do?"
99 thought about it for a moment. "I wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
"There, you see?"
"Come on, Love. Let's go back to bed. Our flight leaves at noon."
"I've made a decision . . . I'll bury them next to Mom. For all his horrible faults, my Dad really did love Mom. And Alex? Well, I guess he should rest with the man who loved him."
"It's like your dream."
"I know. I'll give the rest of the money to Control, like you suggested. But I've got an idea . . . a Family of Deceased Control Agents Fund. You know? To help out families who've lost a Control agent in the line of duty. Whatcha' think?"
"Max, that's a brilliant idea."
"Really?"
"Really."
They walked back to the house hand in hand. When they got to the porch, Max stopped and turned to 99.
"Why didn't he love me, 99?" He asked miserably.
"I don't know, Max. Stupid, I guess," She winked.
Max gave her a tired smile. "99, one thing we've always got to do love and understand our kid, or kids, no matter what they do, no matter how bad," he paused, "Unless, of course they do something stupid like join Kaos . . . or the CIA."
"That could tend to cause a family argument."
They smiled at each other and headed back to the house hand in hand and went to bed. It was well after 4:00 and they fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time in weeks.
The Chief got up early and was watched the news for a while. He had to pound on the bedroom door to wake them up. It was nearly 8:30 and they had an hours drive to the airport in Twin Falls.
"Sorry, Chief," Max said when he came out a half hour later. "We didn't get to sleep until late. We were talking."
"Talking huh?" The Chief asked, picking up a suitcase and heading towards the front door.
"Yes, talking," Max replied, following him with one of their suitcases. They stopped at the front door. "Don't let 99 carry any suitcases. They're too heavy. Besides, she's got a bout of morning sickness."
"Is she going to be all right for the flight?"
"Yeah, it usually lasts a couple hours, but once she gets her seltzer water and oyster crackers, she's fine."
"Well, put the suitcase down and get it for her. I don't want you to pull those stitches anyway."
"I got it for her about 6:00. We fell back to sleep."
"Because you were 'talking' huh?" He grinned at Max.
Max smiled. "Honest, Chief. I went for a walk and 99 came out to find me. I told her I was gong to bury my family and give the rest of the money to Control. I have an idea I want to talk to you about if and when I get the money."
99 came out of the bedroom, a bit pale, but smiling.
"Good morning! Ready to . . ."
They were suddenly interrupted by the voice an excited weatherman on the TV. The Chief and Max crowded around the set. 99's attention, however, was drawn to the window.
"Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like we're in for a late season big one. The snow's already falling in Twin Falls . . . they've got seven inches on the ground already, the airport's closed and . . ."
"We always get more than Twin Falls," 99 said nonchalantly. "Did anyone bother look out the window?"
"Not me," said Max.
"Not me," said The Chief.
"Well, take a look . . ." she pulled back the drapes to revel a real live Christmas card scene. A foot of snow was already on the ground with more falling in big, soft flakes. Max opened the front door and the three of them stared in awe at the silent scene before them.
"I dare to stay we're going to be here for a few days, gentlemen."
"Do we have enough bread and milk?" The Chief asked.
Max and 99 stared at him.
"There's plenty of food in the pantry, the cellar and the 'fridge," 99 answered, trying to hide her amusement.
"What if the power goes off? All the food will be ruined."
Max rolled his eyes and turned to 99. "And you call me 'City Boy'," he laughed. "Chief, if the power goes off, and believe me it will, all we have to do is put the food on the porch. We can leave some stuff in the 'fridge and use ice to keep it cold. Like an icebox. You remember those, don't you, Chief . . . ?"
"I do. Thanks a lot, Max."
"I have an idea," 99 said with a twinkle in her eye.
"What?" Max asked.
"Let's go out and play before it gets too bad."
"Go out and play?" The Chief inquired.
"Yeah! Let's go out and play!" Max agreed, grinning broadly.
He and 99 ran upstairs and donned heavy, hooded jackets, gloves and boots. When they came clomping back down the stairs, Max was carrying a coat, gloves and boots for the Chief.
"Here," he said, throwing them at him. "Put 'em on and lets go!"
"My Mom always keeps extra stuff for emergencies," 99 explained as The Chief got dressed. He was now as excited as Max . . . and grinning like a little kid.
The three of them went outside and played in the falling snow until 99, who had thoroughly decimated the two with snowballs, decided it had gotten too dark, cold and snowy. Max and the Chief disagreed. Exasperated, 99 finally had to resort to enticing her kids inside by offering them hot chocolate . . . and a warm fire.

The End
January 2002

Notes:

The idea of 99 shooting Max came from Etra's story "In The Blink Of An Eye" which you can read on fanfiction.net.

Washington National Airport is now known as Ronald Regan Washington National Airport (what a mouthful!).

"Willard" is Willard Scott. Before he began his long stint on NBC's Today show, Willard was the meteorologist for the NBC affiliate in Washington, DC. One memorable winter (around '77, I think) he predicted snow for the Washington area. When that snow failed to develop, he gave his next weather forecast chained to the wall outside the NBC studios.

For some unknown reason, whenever snow is predicted, people rush to the store to stock up on bread and milk. Even if they don't drink milk . . .