WARNING/AN: this story contains references to drugs and slight child abuse. I won't go into detain, but there is talk of it in Edward's story

EPOV

I woke that morning dazed, with one eye open and the other closed. Pulling on boxers, I headed to my kitchen to get coffee.

I was so tired. I had yet another sleepless night; another night full of nightmares. My 350 years were beginning to give me a run for my money.

My cell phone rang before I was even done with my first cup of coffee.

Who the fuck could it be?

I looked at the caller I.D and rolled eyes reluctantly, before answering Jasper's persistent ringing.

"Hey, man. What's up?" he asked in a deep southern accent.

Was he for real? It was like 8am.

"You know goddamn well what's up. Speaking of which, why are you calling me so early?' I knew there had to be a reason he was calling.

"Uhm, well … erm … there's this girl, Lauren, who I work—," I cut him off right there.

"No, Jasper, I don't want a woman!" I seethed in anger.

"Come on, man! Your ancient ass could use some Lovin'" he retorts.

"Ok, Jasper, maybe I don't want said lovin'!" I growled, really getting annoyed now.

Jasper had been my best friend for years. He was married with a baby on the way, and well, I was still single.

"Come on, man. Give it one date. Maybe she'll be the one," he explained calmly, and I sighed.

"All right—fine!" I gritted out.

"Great, I'll let her know." And with that we hung up—and fuck me.

Like I said, Jasper was my best friend, and he knew I'd had it hard. He just didn't know the extent of my pain, and I hated it, and the fact he often pushed me into the dating world. It bothered me greatly; I wasn't ready really; after all, I am physically only 17.

I was so fucking pathetic, and I was still a virgin. I couldn't help myself—even if I tried. I wanted love, just on my own time, and when she came along I would know; I know I would.

Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen, and yes, this is what my mornings consist of.

I sighed deeply, feeling a wave of sadness hit me. All I wanted was to sit in my bedroom and stuff my face; it's what I did in times a great sadness or depression, and that's how I felt right now.

After my coffee I went to nap; I seemed to sleep best when I closed my curtains and took a nap, or in this case, pretty much just going back to bed. I slept uninterrupted for 2 hours; it was going on to about 3 hours then Jasper called again.

Ok fuck this, I thought as I answered.

"What do you want, Jasper?" I asked groggily.

"Hey, man, sorry to wake you, but Lauren can do tonight at 6pm," he explained.

"Fine, I'll surprise her. Just tell her to meet me on the corner at the beginning of my street. Il'l drive up the street to meet her," I said, too tired to be angry.

"Sure, man, will do," he replied before hanging up.

Fuck me—it was tonight, ugh, was all I could think before pulling my ass out of bed.

I wandered to my kitchen once again to grab breakfast, having eggs and bacon with toast and hash browns. After, I sat on the couch and turned the TV on. It sparked an idea for a song I could write, and grabbing my pen and note pad I began writing.

'Turned on the TV Yesterday
So much pain bleeding through'

I wrote it down wondering whether it sounded right, before quickly singing it to myself.

My God, it was perfect.

I kept writing.

'I had to look away, but inside me,
the pictures just the same and every time
I open up my eyes it never seems to change'

I wrote it down, but unable to think of anything more, I put it away idly, deciding if I should dedicate it to the girl I'd fall in love with. I grinned at the thought and continued watching TV until I had to get ready for my date.

I showered and dressed in black dress pants with black dress shoes before pulling a t shirt on and a white button down over it. I dried my hair into its usual disarray, then putting on cologne, I grabbed my keys and wallet. Locking my front door, I got in my Volvo and drove to the street corner. I put my car in park, when a Blonde girl wearing red lipstick, white eye shadow, and a black strapless, sequin dress with black 4 inch platform heels strapped at the ankle.

I looked at her gulping.

"Hello, handsome," Lauren said giving me a seductive smile as she slid into the seat beside me.

"Hello." I tried to smile as I drove.

I wasn't used to thinking of myself as handsome, and new girls made me shy.

"Shy are we? Awww." She smiled, and I nodded.

Unfortunately, I was.

"It's OK. I won't bite."

I chuckled at her comment, pulling into a nice, quiet but elegant restaurant.

"Nice choice," she commented as I parked.

"Thanks," I said getting out of the car. If truth be told, I chose this place because it was quiet, and I'd feel safe.

I walked her inside and we were shown to our table.

"So, Edward, Jasper tells me you're a lawyer," she informed me.

I nodded with a smile; I was happy with my work.

"I work for Jasper in accounting," she said.

"Very nice," I commented.

We ordered dinner, and as we ate and chatted, the evening flew by quickly. It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be; she was nice, but I didn't feel anything for her.

When it was finally time to go home, I dropped Lauren back off at the corner.

"Want some company, sugar?" She winked.

I was beginning to think she was just after my Dick, and no sir, I was not giving it to someone I didn't love. I prided myself in that aspect; I did have a little self-respect. "Sorry, Lauren. You're a nice girl and I had fun, but no, I'm not in the mood."

She looked disappointed, and I felt bad, but not enough. I let her get out and drove away.

I got home in time to receive a call from Jasper.

"Hey, man," I said calmly.

"How did it go?" he asked curiously

"Fine. She wanted company so I stopped it there," I sighed telling him the truth.

"Why, dude? Why not get laid?" he asked, stunned that I turned her down.

"I didn't feel anything for her, Jasper, and I don't want to give it to a girl I don't love," I explained honestly.

"All right, man, understandable. Well get some sleep," he told me.

"Will do, Jazz. Tell Alice I said goodnight and you too, dude," I said, smiling as I hung up, when I noticed a women outside in the snow bank next to her car.

I walked back outside a moment later, just as I locked eyes with a brown-eyed beauty.

A/N: so how do you like Edward so far? I'm thinking about 10-15 chapters for this story so you know Bella rose and Alice are Hybrids Carlisle Esme once they come in it will be a big surprised all will be revealed Bella and Edwards story is a HEA a few bumps but it will get lemony anyway you know the drill fav follow review! More of those the longer the chapter and the faster this goes plus the less scared and more open he will be with Bella :D